(A\N): Thank you to all who reviewed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or Destiny.

Chapter Eighty Nine

Memories Part One

Onogoro Headquarters

Kira's Room

Kira recalled all events from that day on; though he wasn't in control he remembered them as he saw everything. He was trying to find out how and why things had gotten so far. The abilities he had and those of the chairman and Mu were far too dangerous if misused. Ryu was apparent for that but he was likely the only one of the three that had taken his power that far. Ryu woke up the power in Kira but he wasn't foolish enough to take it past his own.

Kira recalled when it had started.

Four years ago-Secret Satellite

Kira had just finished his meeting with Gil. Ryu was showing him around the satellite.

Kira heard Gil's plans as what Ryu had just told him that was a front and he would be working for him instead. Durandal doesn't share their grand views for the world so all he was is something they could use until they are ready to break out on their own.

Kira listened as he started feeling a little strange. Kira only came here so he could listen but what Ryu was proposing was something far beyond him. Never would he agree to this but something deep down wasn't going to let him stop it. Deep down he was intrigued about doing this, he wanted to do this.

Kira didn't know what was happening to him.

Then came the fateful time about killing that traitor and family, as a message to others that would dare try the same thing.

Kira knew this wasn't right again, but he did it.

That was when Kira first remembered losing control of himself. That was when the dark first made his appearance.

Kira remembered looking at the gun Ryu held.

"Weakling," was all Kira heard before he found himself no longer in control, almost as if he was then watching himself unable to move his body.

It was simple why as he had control then, that was his first appearance from what Kira could now remember. At the time he didn't know what it meant but that was the first time he didn't have control.

After the shot was fired Kira was back in control again, however his mind wasn't rational, every time that dark personality took control it always left something behind, though that was the first time that was when it started.

Kira now recalled the look on the chairman's face sort of a weird satisfaction look on his face, and now Kira knew it was because he saw his work first hand working.

After that massacre he was led to where he would be working as Kira did it, he didn't know why but he agreed to work and pledged his loyalty to Ryu.

One Day Later

Kira started getting very authoritative the very next day, Kira knew that dark had planted himself on the center stage and now the two began their battle for control.

Kira was starting to feel high regret for what he had done, what he couldn't stop but what he did. He just massacred a family for the one reason that the one in charge tried spying and the innocent family was just massacred for being his family.

That was when his head started to hurt, Kira was still in control but dark wanted it and wanted it badly. This was actually how Kira leaned to use his own medicine against him, but that is a little later.

Kira at this time was still unaware of darks presence so he contacted the chairman who was back on Aprilious One.

"Well well, what do I owe the pleasure, I believed you to be hard at work," Ryu replied.

Kira shook his head, "I cannot do this…I cannot believe what I have done," Kira said feeling another wave of pain.

Ryu knew this was coming, "Calm down Kira…I know you fully believe in our goals."

"This isn't…isn't me, I don't even know why I am still here, I cannot do this anymore," Kira replied.

"Calm down now…I believe I have something that can help you, they shall arrive shortly, I want you to take these and you will feel better, remember Kira don't let the chance to end war pass for the sake of past beliefs that only lead to repeat history," Ryu replied.

"Weaklings always repeat history," was what that voice inside said again.

Kira heard it again as he couldn't take this anymore, "I…"

"I cannot have that," the dark one said again.

Kira felt pain again as he backed off and finally for some reason agreed.

Ryu signed off.

Hours later something had arrived for Kira, something genetically made just for him. Ryu had been planning this for a long time so all he had to do was get the research data from Mendel and he knew all of Kira's genetic patterns, not to mention he was a clone himself so he knew what had went on.

Hours later Kira had received what would be one of the last nails in the coffin for him staying in control.

Kira received the first pills not the ones he was currently on as those weren't needed yet but for now the first pills the less strong ones were delivered.

Kira had a headache from all the pushing the dark one was doing to him. Taking the top off the bottle Kira for some reason was highly hesitating, something was telling him not to do it but deep down he couldn't resist as he took the first pill.

That hit him almost immediately; he recalled it now as he felt himself grow weaker for some reason. As that was what they were designed to do was keep him as he was weakened so dark could take over.

The headache did stop after the first one so Kira thought they truly were helping, however more and more of dark was left behind. He was slowly now moving in as Kira was weakened because of the pills.

Anger and hatred were now more and more accessible to him as Kira began feeling all of those emotions, dark planted his seed and now his roots were spreading throughout his brain.

Kira went back to work that very next day, to design top mobile suits and a warship. Kira did that and spent a lot of time training his own body physically. All the time dark was getting more and more powerful.

The final nail in the coffin happened two months later.

Two Months since Kira had been on the satellite

Kira was working his staff to death with these weapons. He was far more edgy then they could remember and became highly angered when someone wanted to take a break. Nothing physical yet, but with dark starting to take over that was about to change.

For two months dark had been pushing forward and he had to just wait for that one chance and that was about to happen.

Kira was overlooking the mobile suit design when someone had changed something, one of the staff members had changed the thruster calibration he wanted. To make matters worse it was a way to cut cost. Of all the foolish things that was likely a normal thing to do but the specs this guy wanted to change them but they weren't to Kira's liking. They made the machine a tad slower, and I mean only about a few milliseconds.

Normally Kira would have worked it out if he was normal but this was it.

Kira found that fool, all he could really feel now was anger and hatred, he was still slightly himself but it was about eighty percent dark now.

Kira quickly knocked over anything in his way as the engineer was working on something. Kira quickly grabbed the back of the coat and spun the engineer around into a wall.

"You dare make changes on my machine?" Kira asked.

The engineer had never seen a look in the eyes this bad before, they were dark and hateful.

"Sir…what are you saying?" the engineer asked as what it did was so minor they never took these things as changes.

Kira shoved the papers in his face, "You changed the calibrations on the thrusters! That is what."

"But sir…that," the engineer said.

However Kira now remembered that was when it happened.

Kira immediately backhanded the engineer straight to the floor while delivering two kicks to the stomach.

The staff around were shocked and stunned, sure he yelled about but this had never happened before and he looked like he was ready to kill the person.

Kira bent down and placed his boot straight into the throat as he was taking the air away.

The engineer was begging and gasping for breath.

Kira however remembered now he did have a moment of thinking, he couldn't believe what he was doing as he took his foot away with a stunned look on his face.

"That won't do," that voice said again.

Kira felt the hardest pain in his head before, this pain made him fall back into a wall gasping his head.

Kira yelled out in pain as that was the last time he remembered being in control, he was once again forced to watch everything.

The eyes opened again as dark now had complete and full control. Kira knew he could now longer come back but something else had happened. Dark was a fake personality that was forced on to the scene so when he gained full control all of Kira's memories from the past he had accessed to. He now truly believed he was the complete and full Kira Yamato.

Dark rose as he opened his eyes to the complete and utter darkness. With a blank look on his face he headed back over to a begging engineer while picking him up.

"You dare disrespect me," Dark said pulling out his knife.

"Wait sir, please wait…I…" the engineer said as dark did the unthinkable, he basically used that knife like the engineer was a fish.

The site was horrific as original Kira could no longer do anything about it at all any more.

It was that site and that scene that partially earned Kira his reputation.

Kira rose that day as now dark had full control. Now all original would do from now on was watch.

This place was under the command of Ryu and many after witnessing this event tried contacting him and told him everything. Ryu however only shined, he could tell immediately that what he did had taken full course.

Ryu acknowledged the situation and a few days later those that spoke out disappeared.

Things had changed after that day, people watched their words and they watched their actions.

Present Day-Onogoro Island

Kira's Room

Kira's memories of those first few months were painful to recall but they were something that had to be told.

"He's control came on quickly when he had full control after that time I could no longer regain it," Kira said.

Lacus was in the room listening to this as he explained the events.

"That wasn't anything compared to what kept happening after the first year," Kira told her.

"Were you able at all to get through?" Lacus said as Kira did eventually turn the tables on him.

"During that year…I started exploring all those I could do, it was like I said, it was like I was watching him do these things with no control…its strange and I cannot really explain it but I knew what was going on," Kira replied.

"What happened?" Lacus asked.

Kira went on.

Three Years Ago-Secret Satellite

One year of hard working and following through with all the duties he was given. With Dark in full control now things certainly changed.

Dark with the merger to the full personality didn't have any reoccurrence of the original Kira, he wasn't sure whether it was because that was how Ryu wanted it or what those questions even Kira didn't have yet.

One thing was for sure was that dark didn't remember original at all, as original was being suppressed through whatever Ryu did along with those pills.

Dark was driven in this goal; he worked harder and longer to develop the mobile suits and warship. He trained his body far harder and results were showing in both physical and mental strength.

However that was when Kira was able to start learning. Kira was in the shadows watching and learning from everything. He was highly suppressed deep inside the subconscious however he was starting to learn that he wasn't all powerless.

What he could do was limited however original found out that by certain events that would slightly weaken dark, whether it was stress, physical strain or tiredness which was the main one that dark would weaken control just a little bit where original could tap into that subconscious and cause those headaches. Or while sleeping because the dreams that he hated to see, with all his memories he knew what would bother him the most and that was Rau. Images of him always helped.

At first they only caused the minor headaches that dark could easily suppress with those pills. Original wasn't aware at the time those were what the pills were for. Later on when the switches to the upgrades were made they actually did a different thing which he will get into later.

However as dark took the pills original was once again knocked out of power.

Around the Satellite

Dark went on his way but soon found another way of suppressing the pain he felt at least for a short time. That was with the one nighters he took.

With the memories of the past there had only been two, Flay and Lacus; however dark didn't stick to just one person. Although he was highly feared by now many of the women on the satellite saw him as a dangerous bad boy, or saw him as a way to advance their own career, or many saw the power he had and standing by his side was something not many could brag about.

At first dark wasn't really particular about the type he liked, however as time went on he stuck with only those that held certain resemblances, or acted certain ways, that was likely from the ones he got from the memory's he inherited when he took control.

He however couldn't stay satisfied with one for very long; once they served their purpose he found a new one.

Present Day-Onogoro Headquarters

Kira's Room

This topic wasn't very good for Lacus to hear, she didn't like hearing about all that, but at least he was honest with her, another trait this was the one true Kira.

"As you know that is something I am not proud of, but still that is no excuse for those actions," Kira replied.

Lacus shook her head, "It's alright, please continue."

Kira nodded, "As you can tell I started learning more and more what I could do with where I was."

Lacus nodded.

"I was learning slowly and with more and more time passing he was still getting stronger, every time I tried getting something through those pills would suppress it," Kira told her.

"What else happened that year?" Lacus asked.

Kira shook his head, "Nothing much for that year, mostly research, and training, day in and day out always the same times he would do things…however that was what started and made one of the most feared people in ZAFT."

Lacus listened intently.

"It wasn't what happened the rest of that year it was what occurred two years ago that earned him the titles of demon, devil, monster to those that hated him, and to those that worshiped him for what he did, he was called a living god, saint, or the best," Kira replied.

Lacus was intent on hearing that but something was on her mind, "When did you…he meet her?"

Kira knew who she was talking about, as that was something that was in the back of his mind as well. What was he going to do with her now? What of those two children now? Technically though Kira now wasn't responsible that didn't really come to matter in terms of genetics. That was something he now had to deal with as well, but that could be for later.

"I met her a few days before the incident, that was when she was first assigned to the satellite," Kira replied.

Lacus slightly looked down only for a second.

"You feel conflicted," Kira told her.

Lacus raised her head, though he wasn't in that form anymore he still had his abilities.

Lacus shook her head, "Please continue."

Kira didn't push the issue anymore as he could tell how hard that topic was on her, sure if he was normal he wouldn't have done anything with her but that was technically out of his hands at that point.

"For the remainder of that year he did as I said but satellite staff grew to afraid of him, many of which wanted to contact the chairman as nothing was being done about what he was doing, others that were just normal staff and soldiers made their move…but I guess I should start at the beginning," Kira told her.

Lacus looked down at him and nodded her head.

Kira began the story as this one was the defining moment of his reputation as well as the meeting with the mother of his two other children. Lacus has of yet to tell him about the other ones.

To be continued...

(A\N): The next chapter gets into the meeting with Sarah as well as the attack that made Kira famous, I didn't want it with all this so I split it into two parts. Bye for now.