Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

The Places to Love

Chapter Six

Michaela stood quietly in the bedroom door, watching as Sully stood in front of the full length mirror nervously fidgeting with his shirt collar. He reminded her of a little boy, so uncertain of himself. Slowly she walked up behind him, reaching around to adjust it for him as she leaned against his shoulder. "You look nice."

Taking a deep breath, he quickly exhaled. "I don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Neither does she," Michaela whispered, hating to watch how her husband was struggling with this. "Tell her about your life – she doesn't know any of it. Make her tell you about hers as well. I think that's a good place to start. Besides you should start off slow."

"Yes, I thought about that. I don't think this first meeting is the time to ask all my questions." Michaela nodded in agreement, moving around in front of him to wrap him in her embrace. Sully smiled down at her, relaxing a bit with her touch. "What time is your appointment with Cassie?"

"One. I should be home when you get back but if you want me to go…"

Giving a little shake of his head, Sully quieted her. "Nah, ya need to go on to your check-up. 'Sides maybe Cassie will give us the green light on some marital activities."

A light blush crept up over her cheeks as she smiled at him. "I'm sure it would be fine if we balanced the check book or hung some wallpaper." She moved away from him as she spoke, heading over towards the bed, where her clothes were laid out.

"That wasn't what I was talking about Dr. Quinn," Sully replied as he turned. Michaela gave him a coy smile as she lifted the tank top she was wearing over her head. This was torture, Sully thought to himself, watching her undress like this. Walking across to her, he smiled to himself. "Need some help," he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her bare shoulder.

"If you help me, we'll both be late," she giggled, secretly relishing the attention he lavished on her. Sully wasn't listening exactly, tracing the slope of her shoulder with his tongue. "Sully."

"'Chaela," he whispered right behind her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "Call me and let me know what Cassie says, alright?"

"I'm almost certain she'll tell us to wait until after my first period."

"I ain't worried about that. I just want to make sure you're alright."

Michaela couldn't help but laugh. "You don't want to make love to me?" she asked picking up her bra to put it on.

"I didn't say that." Sully let go of her and moved to the side to let her dress. "It's just that I leave next week for that conference. Maybe I shouldn't go," he suggested with a sigh.

"Sully this is important to you. You have to go."

"I know, I just ain't so keen on leaving ya right now."

"I'm fine Sully." Her voice was slightly muffled as she slipped her shirt over her head. Yet the minute it was in place, she moved into his embrace again. "I feel good physically and pretty good emotionally. If Cassie tells us to wait, the conference will help pass the time more quickly."

"And if she gives us the green light?"

Michaela gave a little shrug of her shoulders. "Perhaps a late night phone call from your wife will help to keep you satisfied," she said cheekily.

Sully's eyes grew wide. "Are you suggesting.."

He didn't get the words out of his mouth, before she leaned in and kissed him. "You're going to be late."

Reluctantly he nodded. "See ya later."

"Bye," she called over her shoulder sitting down on the edge of the bed to slip into her jeans.

Looking out the window, Kat watched the passing cars stopping to glance at her watch occasionally. She knew she was early so she wasn't too worried yet but there was an uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. The thought that he wouldn't show had nagged her all morning and she couldn't seem to shake it. Max had offered to come with her but she thought it best if the first meeting was just the two of them. There were so many things she wanted to tell her son, she only hoped she had the courage to do so. A truck pulled up in front of the restaurant and Kat found her eyes strangely drawn to it. A glare off the front window prevented her from seeing the driver at first but she knew him the minute he stepped out of the truck. Sunglasses hid his eyes but the nose and chin were that of his father. Folding her hands neatly in her lap, she took a deep breath and waited, trying not to seem too anxious. When he entered the restaurant, she stood giving a little wave. After all, he had no idea what she looked like.

Sully smiled nervously and made his way over to the woman who had waved. Squinting his eyes, he tried hard to see the woman that haunted his dreams ever since he was a child. Yet it was hard to trace any semblance of her, years of hard living having erased the sweet face he remembered. When he stood awkwardly in front of her though, she smiled and Sully knew her instantly.

"Kat?" he asked, though he knew it was her.

"Sully," she said in assurance proffering one of her hands, though she longed to pull him into a hug. "You look so much like your father."

Shaking her hand, Sully asked the first thing that came to mind. "I do?"

"Yes, you do," she replied with a nod. "Here take a seat." Sully nodded and sat down in the booth, grateful that the waitress was already approaching to take their order. He felt as if his throat was too dry to speak and he needed some water desperately.

"What can I get for the two of you?"

"I'll have a coffee," Kat said then looked across at her son.

"A water and a coffee, please."

"That it?" the girl asked, looking a little put out that the order wasn't larger. She barely waited for a nod, flouncing off in the other direction.

"I'm glad you came," Kate began, seeing the nervous expression on her son's face. "I know you didn't have to."

"I wanted to come. I got a lot of questions…" His frowned, feeling nerves getting the best of him.

"I'm sure you do. I'm going to try to answer them Sully. You deserve that. Maybe you could just tell me about your life first – about your wife, children."

The waitress returned then plopping down the drinks as quickly as possible and then slinking away. "Think we've made her day," Sully joked and they both laughed which turned out to be a great ice breaker. Sully poured some cream into his coffee and began to stir as he started to speak. "I was married before Michaela. Her name was Abby – Abigail. We were expecting our first child when she died – a car accident. She died almost instantly but they tried to save our little girl." He looked up for the first time and was moved when he saw the tears in Kat's eyes.

"Did she live?"

"No," Sully said giving a shake of his head.

"Oh Sully, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." His voice was slightly strained and he wasn't exactly sure if it had to do with talking about Hannah or simply the fact he was talking to Kat. "God's got a funny way of working things out though. Hannah's doctor was Michaela."

"Your wife?"

He nodded and smiled. "That's how I met her. Course I wasn't ready for a relationship but we became good friends."

"And that led to more?"

"Yeah – we got married two months ago. She's amazing." Kat was smiling at him and nodding her head, obviously pleased that he had once again found someone to share his live with. "How 'bout you?" Sully asked. "Did ya ever marry again?"

"Not until just recently," she said dropping her eyes to her coffee mug. "His name is Max."

"Max," Sully repeated, getting used to the sound of the name of the man who was his step-father.

"I think you'd like him. He's very down to earth. Not moody like your father was," she said with a smile.

"Was he moody? I don't remember."

"No I guess you wouldn't. You were so young when he died." Sully was the one now avoiding her eyes, feeling his stomach clench uncomfortably. "He was an artist, Sully. I think the moodiness just came with the territory."

Without warning he looked up at her, his eyes suddenly glassy as if he was in a trance. "Where did you go?"

The question was out of the blue and without context, but Kat knew exactly what he was talking about. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was the question she'd been fearing for days – the question she'd practiced answering over the years. "When he died Sully part of me died with him. I felt like I'd never be happy again." She paused but Sully said nothing realizing that she needed to tell this in her own time. "Everyone told me to hold onto you… to keep you close. That in you, he lived. But you were so needy Sully. I felt smothered. You always wanted something. Sometimes you would call for me and I'd just plug my ears feeling like I was gonna go crazy. I felt like you were stealing my soul."

Sully's face was wrinkled in confusion, his heart beating fiercely. "That's how children are," he said anger evident for the first time.

"I know," Kat whispered instantly disarming him. "I know what I did was wrong. But I just needed some time. I was going to come back. I always planned to come back for you."

"But ya didn't!"

"I did Sully. I did! You'd already left. I tried to find ya. It was like you were always two steps ahead of me. I went to San Francisco and you were in Portland. I went to Portland and you were in Tucson."

Sully nodded. He couldn't argue with her – they were constantly on the move when he was younger.

"And at some point, I just couldn't do it anymore. I never stopped thinking about you. I know that is probably hard to believe."

"What did you do? Where did you go?"

"I checked out – medicated my pain as they like to call it. At first it was anything I could get my hands on but I soon became addicted to heroin. I overdosed on your twelfth birthday."

Sully's eyes were intent on hers and for the first time it became obvious to him how much pain this woman in front of him was in. "I'm sorry," he whispered for lack of something better to say.

"I'm not – it saved my life. I got cleaned up after that, tried to live my life the right way. I have a problem with depression though, been fighting it my whole life only I didn't know it. Ended up in rehab again. That's where I met Max. I've had a lot of second chances." She met his gaze. "I don't have a right to ask for you to give me one.. .but if you would…"

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