Alternative Choice.A trip down memory lane Part 1.
Early Years.

By Rebecca Mason.
Authors Notes: After wandering through the darkness, both he and Alexander eventually found the light that led them out of that unpleasant place..but now Shou finds himself in a place from long ago.. what will happen now..and where the heck did Alexander go?!

Shou Tucker and Alexander belong to Hiromu Arakawa.
Emily and Jacob Tucker belong to Rebecca Mason ( me! )

Chapter 4.

He was still stunned, there was no doubt about it...this place was definately his childhood home and everything around him looked real, it smelt real and when he knelt down and knocked on the floorboards, they felt real.
" Surely I've completely lost it.." Shou muttered to himself.
" This must be some sort of hallucination that was brought on by the transmutation, maybe I'm really standing in the lab, maybe the transmutation didn't work! maybe..." he then paused at that.
But the transmutation must of worked, Shou had felt his and Alexander's minds start to link...of course now he couldn't hear the dog's thoughts, for some reason the link had been cut off when the dog had ran through the open door, so that worried him somewhat.

" Surely Alexander's genes didn't fade away and let mine take over completely.." he paled just thinking about it, if that is what happened..then Alexander was no longer around..and all that remained was Shou.
He then shook his head to rid his mind of the disturbing thought.
" No! that's not what could of happened..I would of 'known' if that did happen!" he growled in frustration.

" He has to be here somewhere...but just where could he of gone?" he looked around the room before running over to a closet that had it's door half open.
Half expecting Alexander to jump out, Shou was a little bit cautious in looking in the closet.
Yet he finally summoned up the courage and prepared to be pounced on by the big friendly ball of fluff.
" Okay, come on out Alexande-" he paused as he was interupted by a woman's voice.

" Oh, so that's where you went!" the mysterious yet familiar voice said; and with that, somone lifted Shou up off of the ground.
" Were you looking for that imaginary friend of yours again Shou?" the woman asked, giggling gently as her face came into view.

Shou's eyes widened as he looked up at the woman's face, it was his mother.
But how could this be? his mother had been dead for years, yet now..well..there she was! alive and looking really healthy.
Her brown hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, a long strand of hair dangled down near her left eye, her deep blue eyes focused on his own light baby blues.
" Ma-mama" he found himself whimpering.. it was now that he realised his voice had gone to sounding like a small child.
' Just what on earth is happening to me?!' Shou mentally asked himself.
' How could this be happening? it's not possible...not even alchemy could do this!' he demanded explanations behind this current situation that he was in...but just like the other times when he had asked for an answer, no explanation came.

" Well don't you worry sweetheart, I'm sure Alexander is fine, he'll probably be back later...just like he always is" the young woman said with a smile before hugging Shou close to her.

Shou just looked up at his mother, a lost expression was on his face.. he didn't know what to do, however he started to suffer from a case of de-ja-vu..but what could of happened at this point in time?

His mother looked a little puzzled at the boy's lost looking expression, although hearing a man's voice call out her name from the hall made her attention shift to where the voice had came from.
" Jacob?" she called out and then started to walk there, carefully holding onto Shou as she walked along.

The man who had called out from before was standing there, his arms folded as two men had started to carry out a table.
" These idiots have decided to take some of our stuff instead, Emily..." he muttered, before looking to one of the men.
" I have a wife and young son here! why don't you people get that into your thick heads?!" he growled at the guy in question.

The man just turned to look at him and shrugged his shoulders oh so slightly.
" Hey sorry pal...but it's either this or we turn you all out of this house, you knew that you had some taxes to pay..."

Jacob just growled at that, Shou could remember that his father's patience had never been much of a strong point.
" We don't have enough money to pay the taxes, not since the government raised them again!"

The other man just scoffed at that coldly.
" Well maybe you should think about getting a better job that pays more...afterall, it's not our fault that you're broke!"
Then with that..both of the men left, taking whatever they deemed expensive; this included a bedside cabinet, a bookshelf, a few tables, some chairs, some paintings, a few lights and most of Shou's toys.

Seeing that happen before him now, Shou guessed that maybe this was when he had a faint idea of how important it was to have money...
Emily had already started to cry while she still held her little boy; and it made his heart ache with sadness to hear her sobs, the only thing he could do to try and comfort her, was to snuggle up to her.

Jacob stood with a defeated look on his face, he glanced back to Emily and his once stern looking face softened.
" Hey, hey...come on sweetheart it's alright, we still have a home and each other huh?" he said soothingly to her, pulling her into a gentle hug.

Shou looked up at his father as he comforted his mother.
In his mind, Shou could tell that Jacob was just as upset at losing some of their stuff as what Emily was.. but the man was trying to put on a brave front for his wife and child.
' Who are you kidding Father? I can see right through you, you're doing the same thing I did...' Shou said in his mind as he looked up at him.

Emily's crying gradually became little murmurs, then just finally sniffled and looked up to her husband, smiled a little and nodded.
" Y-you're right sweetheart... but..but what are we going to do when we have to pay the taxes again?"

" We'll manage, trust me Emily...I've gone through worse fixes in the past than this, everything will be okay I promise" came her husband's gentle reply.

Shou almost seemed to cringe at the dreaded ' I promise..' and just looked down at the ground.
' I promise.. why did it have to be those fated words?' he frowned inwardly out of regret.
Those had afterall, been the same words that he had said to Ed, Al, Nina and Alexander earlier...words that he had intended to keep and had ended up propelling him and Alexander into this strange place that seemed to resemble Shou's memories, only for the dog to disappear without a trace and leave Shou in this place without a clue on what to do.

" Well alright.." came the young woman's reply, along with one more sniffle and an accompaning smile.
" Come on, we better go back in.. Shou seems to be getting restless.." she said quietly and walked back into the house while holding onto Shou, Jacob following not too long after.

A few days passed..at least that's what they seemed to be, Shou still couldn't quite tell what was going on..and he was still trying to think about it, when he found a drawing book with some pencils on the ground and a note lying next to them.
" To Shou...Happy third birthday, love from Mommy and Daddy" he read out and sat down on the ground.
" My third birthday..." he said absently and flicked open the drawing book, picking up one of the pencils and started to scribble.
" That's right, I remember now...they repossessed some of our things just two days before my third birthday; as a result, the only thing I got as presents were this and the teddy that Mother made for me"

He scribbled a strange pattern on the paper, before turning his attention to a book that lay just a few steps away from him.
" And if I remember rightly, this is also when I found my father's alchemy book..." he grinned slightly and stood up, running over to the lone book that was just there, once he got it in his hands, he then flicked open the book to find that it had landed on some transmutation circles he knew very well.

He looked down at the pages with child-like interest, his child mind had never been able to understand all of the writing that was in the book, back then he had only ever cared about the 'pretty' pictures that were in there.
' I had the doors to knowlege and power right there inbetween my hands...yet back then I was too young to even grasp it and take it by the reigns, let alone understand what it was all about...' the grin Shou had was starting to widen, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with glee.
' Those Elric brothers, they weren't that much older than me when they got into alchemy...and yet they understood all of this information; they really are geniuses...really' Shou had then started to walk back over to where his drawing book was.

He then laid the alchemy book down beside the drawing book, making sure that it was on the page he wanted.
Shou then started to sketch out one of the circles.
' And me at this age? heh...the only thing I ever wanted to do was draw these weird yet wonderful circles' he thought to himself as he concentrated on drawing the circle, stepping back to have a look at it once it was finished.
" Hmm, not quite perfect...the lines look a little bit jagged" he mumbled, a little pout forming on his face as he tried drawing another circle, and another circle...and another circle.
Pretty soon Shou found that he'd done nothing but a page full of attempted transmutation circles.
He couldn't help but smile half-heartily at that, it would seem that back then; destiny was driving him towards alchemy...he just didn't see it at the time, back then, these drawings of circles weren't transmutation circles to him...they were works of art.

In the days that came after that, he had found himself drawing more of his 'works of art' in the drawing book, this then spread to drawing them on the wooden floor and then on the wall.
Could this of been the earliest form of Shou's insane side showing? not even Shou knew for certain...but seeing all of those circles were starting to become very un-nerving.
His adult mind felt relieved when his mother and father washed the circles off of the wall and floor, yet at the same time..he could feel how upset his young mind was at having that happen.
" Mommy, why'd you have to wipe them away? they weren't hurtin' anyone!" Little Shou cried up at his mother as she just knelt down and gave him an apologetic hug.

" I'm sorry Shou sweetie...but you just don't go drawing on the wall or the floor, you're supposed to draw in the drawing book that Mommy and Daddy got especially for you" Emily said, her tone was so soft and gentle; yet her expression was one full of worry.
" And you know how Daddy gets when you draw those circles..." she said, hugging him closely.

Shou looked up at his mum in silence for a few minutes before hugging back, burying his face into her chest and sobbing quietly.
Back then he couldn't understand why his dad hated it whenever Shou drew transmutation circles.. but if Shou had guessed right, then the worst was still to come and then he'd probably realise why his father had been so against it.

More time seemed to pass quickly for the man trapped in his younger self's body and before he knew it, he had just relived his fourth birthday.
Shou also found that his younger self was still intent on drawing transmutation circles...as well as strange animals.
Looking at them made him bite his lip slightly as he studied a picture of a creature that seemed to resemble a dog, yet it sported a long mane going all the way down it's back.
' Looks like I always was fascinated by the possibility of mixed animals...' he mused to himself, before sighing and placing the piece of paper down on the ground.
He then found himself walking over to the place where his father kept the alchemy book, he'd done this so many times by now.. it was like a habit he couldn't get out of.
Giggling happily to himself as he picked up the book, Shou then hurried back to his usual spot in his bedroom, plonking himself down on the floor and flicking open both books, then he picked up a pencil and started to scrawl a picture of a transmutation circle.

However, unlike all those other times...this time Jacob caught Shou in the act of putting his alchemy book back.
Understandably, Shou's father wasn't very happy at this.
" Shou! what have me and your mother told you a thousand times?!" he bellowed as he came pacing towards the small startled boy.
" Don't dabble in things you don't understand!" he shouted, snatching the alchemy book from Shou's chubby hands in one swift motion.
Shou just let out a pathetic 'Sorry' in response, balling both of his hands into tiny little fists.. but Jacob just shook his head.
" No...because you'll just go and do the same thing over and over again, no matter how many times we tell you not to do it, you'll still do it anyway; well maybe this will make you see..." Jacob's eyes narrowed and marched out of his and Emily's room and headed to Shou's bedroom.

Shou hesistated for a while, then his eyes widened as he heard the rustling of paper.
" N-no.." he muttered at first, he then broke into a sprint towards his room.
" No no no no no no!" he found himself blabbering uncontrollably.. in his adult mind, Shou just mentally sighed in despair...he should of seen it coming.
Before he had a chance to reach his bedroom's door, his father marched past him, a stack of papers in his arms.
It didn't take a genius to guess what they had on them, and now Mr. Tucker SR. was heading towards the living room.
Shou skidded to a stop, turned on his heels and charged after his father.
" Daddy don't do it!" he cried out, but it was too late..

Jacob had thrown all of Shou's pictures into an already lit fire-place.
Shou could only stare wide-eyed, his mouth agape as he saw all of his hard work get consumed by flames.
His 'pretty' patterns, his weird yet wonderful creatures.. they all became victims of a firey end.
After the fire died down slightly, Jacob walked over to Shou, then knelt down so that he was eye level with the boy and put his hands carefully on the boy's shoulders.
" Now Shou...don't get me wrong, that was hard for me too; But I had to make you see somehow...that stuff that you were drawing, it's not a toy and if you don't understand how it works, you could get hurt or worse...and me and your mother wouldn't want that to happen to you, do you understand now?" he asked, his tone of voice now soft.

Shou was still shocked from seeing his masterpieces get burnt to a crisp, the small child started to sob.
First they were tiny little murmurs.. but then those became full blown sobs..and finally it became a very loud wail.
How could his father do that?! those were his drawings, he had no right to burn them just like that.

Jacob just watched Shou as he wailed uncontrollably, the man's face suddenly started to show a look of guilt as he realised what he'd just gone and done.
" Shou...I know that you liked to draw those things but if you get too obsessed with those things, they'll lead to nothing but trouble...can you understand what I'm saying?" he asked, his tone still remaining gentle.

Shou's wailing subsided a little as he listened to his father's words, big salty tears rolled down his now rosey-cheeked face as he sniffled and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper.
" I...I..." he stuttered at first, but then nodded.
" I understand Daddy"

Jacob smiled gently at that and ruffled Shou's hair softly.
" That's my boy.. now come on, let's go and see if your mom's made dinner yet, hmm?"

Shou just sniffled and nodded in response, he then held onto his father's hand and walked into the kitchen where Emily was already sitting at the table.

The rest of the day had gone by rather uneventful, although after that Shou's young self was slightly different after that incident.
He had become even more quieter and seemed to drift about in a daze, not really knowing what to do with himself, such behaviour had come to his mother's attention.

It took her about a week, but she finally spoke up one day.
" Shou honey... I know you're still upset about what happened..but you have to understand that Daddy was just angry, he wasn't thinking straight..and you know he's sorry about what he did"

Shou's adult mind only wished that he could agree with his mother and try to cheer up his younger self, but such a thing didn't look like it was going to happen, so he could only watch and listen.
" But...my drawings.. my work.." came the boy's sad sounding reply.

Emily just knelt down to Shou, a soft and understanding expression was on her face.. it was at these times that she reminded adult Shou of Nina..that's probably why he loved both his mother and daughter more than anyone else.
" Sweetheart.. there's much more important things in life than just work.." she then closed her eyes, smiled and brought out the teddy bear from behind her back.
" Look...she's been missing you, you know?" she said, chuckling gently.

Shou stared at the teddy-bear with wide-eyes, it had been the one that his mother had given him for his third birthday; he hadn't even spent time with it after the recent obsession with the circles.
He then felt his bottom lip wobble as he then held out his arms and pulled the teddy into a gentle embrace.
" I'm sorry..." he murmured to the bear, closing his eyes tight and cradling it in his arms.
" I didn't mean to ignore you, I still love you!"
He then opened his eyes and looked to his Mum with a worried expression.
" She...she still loves me, doesn't she Mama?" he asked.

Emily laughed in response and then nodded, stroking Shou's mousey-brown coloured hair gently.
" Of course she does sweetie, I told her all about it"

A smile spread across Shou's chubby little face, he then ran forward and hugged his Mum, the teddy also ended up joining in with the hug.
" Thank you Mommy!"

Emily just did a warm smile in response and hugged her little boy back.
" You're welcome Shou, I'm glad you're feeling much better again"

And so several more weeks seemed to pass, this time Shou found himself carrying around the teddy bear that his mother had given him.
Inside Shou's mind, he couldn't help but smile warmly as he relived all the times he spent with the teddy.
Everyday he always sat her down next to him whenever he ate, he played ' ring around the roses' with her and hide and seek...even if half of the time that game seemed rather one sided.
And whenever he settled down to sleep, he always made sure that the teddy bear was nestled comfortably beside him and always made sure to tuck her in so that she wouldn't fall out of bed.
The two of them were inseperable, and Shou was once again a happy little boy finally having a friend as such, to look after and play with.

However while outside one day, a nasty stray dog had come up and grabbed ahold of Shou's teddy then ripped it open, much to Shou's horror.
After getting the dog to drop his teddy, Shou then chased off the filthy beast in a screaming rage before running back to the teddy.
His eyes had started to well up with tears as he looked at the stuffing that had come from his beloved teddy, as well as the nasty rip that was down the bear's stomach.
Gathering up the stuffing and the teddy, Shou then ran to his mother in a crying fit.
" Mama, my teddy, a...a nasty dog came...and it...it hurt her!" he wailed, tears rolled down his face as he held up the broken teddy to Emily.

" Maww Shou..." Emily ruffled his hair gently before taking the teddy into her hands.
" It'll be alright sweetheart, Mommy can fix her" she said, giving him a reassuring smile and walking off towards the living room.

Shou sniffled a little before quickly following his mother, she could fix his teddy? but how?! he wanted to know.
When he reached the living room, Shou looked over to his mother who was sitting in an armchair.
She had a needle and some thread, as well as a basket of wool beside her, by the looks of it..she had just finished putting the stuffing back into the teddy's body.
Although little Shou's eyes widened when he saw the needle.
" Mommy, you're not going to hurt her are you? she's very sensitive, and...and she doesn't like getting hurt"

Emily just shook her head and smiled gently at her little boy.
" No, don't worry.. she's sleeping at the moment so she won't feel anything, I just need to do this so that she'll be all better..."
She then began to carefully sew up the teddy bear's 'wound' with the needle, taking extra care to make sure she didn't lose the stitching.
" Now Shou.. sewing things like this can be really easy, you just have to put your mind to it..and everything will turn out fine"
Eventually she grinned and held the now-fixed teddy out to Shou.
" There we are! as good as new"

Shou looked to the teddy bear, his mother was right.. the teddy's stomach was all stitched up again and it looked as if nothing had happened to it, his beloved teddy was as good as new....no..maybe even better than that!
He smiled and gently cuddled the bear, being careful not to 'wake' her from her sleep.
" Thank you Mommy, she looks all happy and healthy"
He then grinned, a determined expression forming on his face..
" I'll never let any smelly old doggy get her ever again...if they do, then I'll give them a smacked bottom!" he then just did a little nervous laugh.
" Or just chase them away like I did today"

Emily laughed at that and hugged her little boy again.
" That's my little Shou, you'll be a good Daddy someday, I just know it..." she said and kissed him all motherly-like on the forehead.

Inside his mind, Shou could only smile half-heartily at that, his mother's words hurting him slightly as he thought about the earlier situation he had been in.
' I'm a good father?' he said inwardly to himself.
' If I'm such a good father...then why did I nearly end up using my own child as an ingredient for a talking chimera? surely a loving father would never use his own family as ingredients in experiments even if there was no other choice...would he?' Shou could only contemplate on these questions, since he knew no one could ever answer them.

Before he knew it, he had found that the surroundings had changed again, the living room had been arranged in a different way and he found that he wasn't as short as he was before, a brief look in the closet's mirror seemed to say that he was around six years old now.
The clothes he was dressed in had suggested that he had just got home from school.
" Mommy I'm home!" Shou called out as he walked to the kitchen.
He found Emily sitting at the table, a lost looking expression on her face.
" Mommy?"

Emily seemed to snap out of her day-dream and did a small smile over to Shou.
" Oh, hello there sweetie; e-heh sorry I didn't hear you come in, I've just been thinking about some thing's lately..."

Shou just did an understanding smile to his mother, he then pulled up a chair and sat down.
" Where's Daddy? it's almost dinner time...is he doing some studying again?" Shou asked, looking around before looking back to Emily.

The smile Emily had became a sad one and she looked down.
" Well Shou...that's what I wanted to tell you; Daddy's not here anymore, he left earlier today..."

Shou's eyes widened at that.
" He left?! wh-why?" he exclaimed, life had been going okay for them so far..why would Jacob just suddenly up and leave them just like that?
Shou couldn't understand it.

" Well...he said that it was to find a job that paid good money, that way we'll finally have a better income and a much better life" Emily replied, reaching forward and stroking Shou's hair.
" I know it seems so sudden Shou...but we just have to trust your father on this one, I'm sure he'll come back soon"

Shou didn't say anything in response, other than just a nod...deep inside his mind, Shou was trying to remember what his father had gone to get a job as...yet at the moment the answer just wasn't coming to him.
That night, their dinner had been very silent, both Shou and Emily had just concentrated on eating...maybe Jacob leaving had came as a big shock to them, yet they knew that he was still alive so that was slightly comforting.

After dinner, Shou had made his way to his parents room, the place where his father had kept all of those books on alchemy.
Although it came to his surprise that there wasn't a single book to be found in the room, nor were there any more alchemy books in his father's old study room.
It was then Shou's eyes widened as he realised what job his father had gone to take up; the very thing that Jacob had told Shou himself not to dabble in...alchemy.
Shou's adult mind now remembered this event well and he sighed inwardly in despair.
' And it all started here...' he thought to himself as he stared at the bare spaces in the otherwise empty study.

To be continued!

Authors Notes: More of Shou's past to come in the next chapter!