Alternative Choice.

By Rebecca Mason.

Authors Notes: So Shou's father left to get a job in alchemy huh? and what did Shou mean when he said ' and it all started here?' read on to find out!

Shou belongs to Hiromu Arakawa.
Jacob Tucker, Mr. Briggs, Tigerlily and Emily Tucker belong to me ( Rebecca Mason)

Chapter 5.

A trip down memory lane part 2.

Growing Pains.

After Shou's father had left to get some kind of job that used alchemy, the only people in the house where Emily and Shou.
The months seemed to fly by quickly as Shou and his mother adjusted to life without Jacob, although it wasn't the most easiest thing to do;
Everyday when Shou returned home from school, it was odd to not hear his father's voice say 'hello' to him as he stepped in through the front door.

And it definately wasn't the same at the dinner-table...
While Emily and Shou occasionally had their own little conversations across it, there was always an empty space where Jacob should of been.
Jacob's casual-tone of voice was no longer there to add to the talks, his thoughts and opinions on things, his hearty laughs...they were gone.

By habit, Shou sometimes found himself walking to his father's study with a newspaper, only to arrive there and then realise that the person who used to frequent the room wasn't there anymore.
Not having his father there was a very big change for the young child, but he tried his best not to let it bother him too much.

Emily however, was taking things a fair bit differently.
For her, every waking day became painful when she realised that Jacob still hadn't returned home...she tried her best to put on a strong front when in front of Shou.
But one summer evening in June, he could hear her sobbing as she cooked supper, the sobs from her hurt both young and adult Shou's soul.

" Mommy..." the young child seemed to murmur as he peeked his head around the door, his expression was one of pure worry.

Emily's eyes widened as she saw that Shou had heard her crying and quickly wiped her eyes.
' Oh no! I have to say something...I don't want him to end up worrying himself sick..' she thought to herself.
" I'm...I'm fine sweetie; Mommy, Mommy was just slicing some onions that's all...e-heh you, you know that they make me cry" she said, trying her best to cover up her sadness.

Shou noticably bit his lip and a sheepish smile spread across his face, his mother had seemingly forgotten one very important fact.
" But Mommy...we're having chicken soup tonight, that doesn't have any onions in it..."

Emily looked a little taken-aback at first, but then sighed sadly and walked to the dinner table; carefully sitting down and motioning to Shou for him to come and sit on her lap.. once he did, she just started to stroke his soft mousey brown hair gently.
" Sweetheart...I didn't want to have to say this, but it's been over a year now and I'm just concerned that your father hasn't called or sent a letter; I'd understand it if he's been busy...but how am I even supposed to know if he's got a job or not?"

Shou wasn't too sure how to respond to that at first, his mother did have a point...Jacob would of at least let them know what on earth he was up to by now, wouldn't he?
The seven year old couldn't think of any words to say, and the fact that no comforting words came to him made him angry at himself, he hated to see his mother feeling like this, and in the end he gently rested his head against her chest.

Emily seemed to smile a little and just held her little boy close to her, still stroking his hair; yet in her mind she was trying to pull herself back up out of this current stage of depression she'd got herself into.
' Come now Emily, look at yourself.. you have a seven year old child who needs you more than anything else...and here you are crying over your husband who must be doing all he can to help out his family'
" Shou?..."

The young boy looked up to his mother, wondering what it was she was about to say to him.
" Ye-yes Mommy?"

Emily took a while before replying, she chose her words carefully.
" Despite all of that though, we have to carry on living and be strong for him..." she said, only just managing to hold back the tears as she smiled down at her little boy.

' Mother...I know you're only trying to be brave for me so that I don't worry about you, oh how I wish I'd known that back then...' Shou's adult mind seemed to say as he gazed up into his mother's face, despite her gentle smile; there was sadness in her eyes..that was apparent enough.
" And when Daddy comes back, we'll all be a lot more happier?"

" Yes...yes we will sweetheart" Emily replied, before closing her eyes and gently holding her little boy close to her, now cradling him lightly.
" You, me and Daddy...we'll all be much happier when he comes home, just like we used to be"

The young Shou just smiled sweetly and hugged his mother softly, in Shou's adult mind however; the man just remained mentally silent.
To him this was like a story that he had read before, it was a story that promised to have a happy ending..but then had a cruel twist of fate much later on.. and he was dreading when it did come.

Two days later, a knock at the door sounded and Shou answered it.
" Hello?" he called out uneasily as he looked up to the postman.

" Ah! hello there young lad, this is the Tucker residence is it not?" The man asked, he seemed to be holding a big sack which Shou thought was full of letters at first...but then he realised that there was another sack near the postman's bicycle.

" Erm...y-yes.." Shou replied, he wasn't really one for socialising with other people.
It wasn't that he didn't like to see people or anything like that, but being an only child and also for the fact that Emily could be very protective over him, he was just very shy around others if he didn't know them very well.

At that point Emily also came to the door.
" Hmm? oh hello there Mr. Briggs..." she said sounding slightly bewildered, they only ever had mail come through on birthdays or when the rent was being called in.
As far as she knew, no one was celebrating a birthday yet.. and the rent payments were not for another two months.

" Got orders to deliever something to you and the little one" The postman chuckled lightly and held out the sack to Emily.
" Someone must of been feeling very generous with their money, here...this is all yours Mrs. Tucker, have a nice day!" once Mr. Briggs had handed her the sack of money; he then gave Shou a pat on the head and with a wave to both of them, he walked back to his bicycle and set off on his postal rounds.

Emily looked down at the sack then to Shou with a puzzled look on her face, Shou also returned the puzzled look, it certainly wasn't everyday you had a large sum of money delievered to you.
" Well..." the young woman finally managed to utter " this...this was unexpected"
She then walked into the kitchen, Shou following closely beside her, and when she got there; she tipped the sack up to see how much money they had got.

Both mother and son's eyes must of widened, there was at least enough for them to buy a brand new house!
" I can't believe it...it's almost like some kind of dream" Emily murmured as she stood there, her eyes transfixed at the table.
" But this isn't a dream..that money really is there.." she then looked to Shou, smiled and scooped him up into a loving hug.
" Everything will be okay now sweetheart!"

Shou took a while to react but finally a smile spread across his face and he hugged his mother back, he didn't know where the money had come from.. nor did he really think it was all that important, but if his mother was happy..then he was happy too.
In the weeks that followed, instead of buying a brand new house; Emily had instead used it to help fund for Shou's schooling, ensuring that he got the best education there was, as well as buying much more food so that he was a well-fed boy.
Shou couldn't help but smile as he found that the food they had now, consisted of much more choice than what they could only afford a year ago.

Emily had also bought a beautiful pet cat and named her Lilly, it seemed to be a golden furred tabby with ginger stripes running down it's back.

Shou had affectionately dubbed the cat 'Tigerlily' since to him, Lilly sort of looked like a tiger.
As the days passed, Shou could often be found carrying Tigerlily around everywhere as well as feeding and stroking her; this was the first pet he'd ever had.. and he loved this cat just as much as he loved his mother.
For a long time, life went fairly well for Emily, Shou and Tigerlily; although they still lived in the slums.. Emily did her best to make sure the family remained happy and stable and all the while hoping for the best that Jacob was doing okay out there.

Pretty soon, Shou's adult mind started to feel the days slip by..then those days became weeks, then months..and eventually years.
Some days just seemed to flash by so quickly..while others took forever in ending.
One such day he got to relive again was his tenth birthday.. and on that day, another sack of money was delivered to Emily and Shou.
And Emily still refused to buy a bigger house...Shou and Tigerlily were her main concerns and again, she did all the best she could to support her little boy as he grew.

Three more years of experiences and memories seemed to pass.
Shou almost had a shock one day; when he looked in the mirror and saw just how much he'd begun to shoot up in height, he couldn't help but grin afterwards.
" Give me another few years and I'll probably have to bend down slightly if I want to see my face in the mirror" he managed to say through chuckles.

Emily had been sitting in an arm chair just staring into space; when she heard her son's voice, she suddenly gasped and wiped her eyes before looking to him.
" I-I'm sorry sweetie, I must of dozed off...what did you say?" she asked, an apologetic smile forming on her face as she looked over to Shou.

Shou just looked at his mother with a puzzled expression, however that puzzled expression became a worried one as he gazed at her.
These days Emily seemed to look extremely tired, her deep blue eyes that used to sparkle with life had now become dull and seemingly drained of energy.
The complexion of her skin was also really pale, there was no ignoring that.
At that point Shou could of repeated to his mother what he'd joked about before, but right now a more serious reply was the only thing that came " Mom...are you alright?"

Emily's smile seemed to fade a little and she just looked down for a few seconds before looking back to Shou and doing what seemed to be a sad smile.
" Of course I am sweetheart..I..I'm just a little bit sleepy that's all.. I haven't had much rest lately" she replied.

Shou wasn't convinced, he knew that something was wrong just by how Emily's condition was...he just couldn't understand why his mother was trying to hide how she was really feeling, from him.
His older mind tried to force his younger self to say something; he wanted to say that he could see through her facade, he wanted to suggest that maybe they should go and see a doctor; that way if there was something wrong with her, then they'd be able to get it treated quickly.

However in the end; and much to older Shou's horror, the younger Shou just slowly nodded...however the worried expression never left his face.
" Alright...but make sure you get plenty of rest okay?" he finally spoke up again as he walked over to her and gave her a gentle hug.. he was almost the same height as her now.

Emily just chuckled softly and hugged back.
" Shou honey, I'm perfectly alright..." she then started to chuckle again as she thought about something.
" You know you're just like your father...he used to worry himself sick about me as well" as she hugged her son, she closed her eyes tightly...almost as if it was to stop tears from escaping.
A minute seemed to pass as both mother and son hugged, then Emily lightly pulled away; once again opening her eyes and looking to Shou; a sudden look of surprise appeared on her face.
" Oh my..."

Shou's eyes widened and he looked around the room; had his mother just seen someone come into the house?!
When he didn't see anyone, Shou just faced Emily again.
" Mom?"

Emily grinned slightly; making her look a little bit more healthier than before, and started to giggle.
" It's just dawned on me.. how tall you are now sweetheart, in another few years you'll probably have to bend down to hug your little old mother"

Shou just chuckled gently at that, it looked like he wouldn't have to repeat what he said to her earlier afterall.
" Awww Mom...don't worry I think I'll stop growing sooner or later" he then couldn't help but do a cheeky little grin.
" But if you want, I could buy you a step-ladder just in case that does happen" it wasn't normally in Shou's nature to joke about like that; but he did have the odd burst of it every now and then.

Emily laughed heartily at that and just patted him on the shoulder.
" Hey! cheekiness will get you no-where my dear boy" she said with a slight smirk on her face.

Shou just chuckled in response and gave his mother another gentle hug.
" I'm sorry, I couldn't help it"

Emily nodded and hugged back.
" Come on sweetheart, I'm going to be making dinner soon, do you want to help me?" she then smiled warmly as a memory seemed to go through her head at that point.
" Like when you were little, hmm?"

Shou wasn't going to object, maybe if he helped Emily with the cooking; it would mean less stress for her; And right about now, he was prepared to look after his mother as much as he could.
He did a small little smile and nodded;" I'd love to help with the dinner, Mom.."

And so both mother and son set about making dinner that evening.
Shou had almost ended up burning the food when he accidently set the cooker's tempreture too high...thankfully it was saved by Emily at the last minute.
Jokes and laughter were exchanged as the dinner was prepared; it was possibly the most chattiest dinner that occured that night..even more than what it used to be years ago...and Shou loved every minute of it; yet deep down, he had an uneasy feeling that stayed in the back of his mind, but for now...he'd do his best to just enjoy himself.

And so the days seemed to fly by again, and in that time.. Shou's adult mind could see his mother's health start to deteriorate even more.
But every time he suggested that maybe they should visit the doctors afterall, Emily insisted that there was nothing wrong with her.
Pretty soon Shou had started to get higher education and Emily was the one that was paying for it; determined that her son got the best chances at having a good future, she also tried her best to keep up with the payments for the house, as well as costs for food.
One evening, the poor boy was startled as Emily went into a nasty coughing fit and rushed over to her; worry was very evident on his face as he approached her.
" Mom!"

Emily just looked to Shou with a weak smile as she managed to finally get the coughs under control.
" It's nothing Shou.. I just had a tickly throat, that's all.. but it's gone now.." she said with a nervous little laugh.

All of this was starting to become torture for adult Shou, he could see exactly what was happening...and so did the younger one.
But he felt like everything was out of his control; no matter what he did, his mother would still refuse help, nor would she go to visit the doctor's as her condition worsened.
Shou could only watch helplessly as his mother's health and their money started to get even lower; He used to ask his mother if he could help, but she just disagreed; saying that he didn't have to worry about her.

And after all this time, Jacob still hadn't returned home; but Shou had started to suspect that the person sending them the money was in fact Jacob....but why wasn't he returning home?
' Surely he's got that job that he left to get in the first place, right?..why doesn't he come back? we need him now...we need him more than anything' the young teenager thought to himself as he laid on his bed one night.

It was a stormy February night.. Shou would be turning fourteen years old in a month's time, but as far as he was concerned; there was nothing to celebrate.

Emily was now on her death-bed, her illness had taken a turn for the worse and she just didn't have the strength to carry on anymore.
All he could do that evening was sit at her bed-side and watch as his darling mother went through her last moments of life.
Emily just looked up at him with tired eyes; a weak smile was on her face as she tried to stroke his face gently.
" Shou...please don't cry, things like this happen all the time" she said soothingly to him, her tone was now all quiet and feeble; another sign that she was beginning to slip away.

' But it shouldn't be happening to *you*!' Shou seemed to cry out in his mind.
' You still had a lot of your life ahead of you.. why didn't you listen to me when I said about seeing the doctor, he could of saved your life!'
The young teenager just sniffled, big tears rolled down his face; he just couldn't stop them coming.
" Mom..." he managed to utter, his voice going into an upset squeak as he tried to hold back the sobs..he needed to get these words out.
" You could of gotten help for this sickness...was it because you were waiting for Dad to come back?"

Emily just chuckled lightly and shook her head.
" For the first few years I was...but then I realised that your father was capable of looking after himself and if he's the one that was sending us the money; I know that he's alive, that was enough to put me at ease...the only person I wanted to look after in the end was you, sweetheart.."
She seemed to smile at him again and tears were forming in her eyes.
" Because you're my baby...no matter how old you are, you'll always be my little Shou, I love you so much sweetheart...if I lost you, I don't know what I would of done; but now this sickness has got the better of me...I'm sorry for having to put you through all of this" the smile had now started to faulter as she tried hard not to cry; she didn't want to die like this...not in front of her beloved son.

' Mother...you didn't have to do all of this for me'
Shou just smiled at his mother sadly, he then leaned forward slowly and kissed her softly on the forehead.
" I love you too Mom; I always have and I always will...and it's alright, you...you didn't know this would happen, none of us knew.."
He couldn't help but think he'd just lied on the last part of the sentence and almost seemed to mentally cringe.
' I did know this would happen...I didn't do anything about it because I was too much of a coward to do so, this is all my fault! '

" Shou.." Emily paused for a while, seemingly trying to hold back a nasty cough; once she succeeded she looked back up at her little boy.
" Could you do a favour for me?"

Shou nodded softly.
" Of course Mom..." he replied quietly, wondering what it was; a pain in his chest told him that this was going to be Emily's last request, even before the words left her mouth.

" I want you to stay strong for me, take care of yourself and Tigerlily...I know that I'm not going to be there for you; but I wish you all the best in life sweetheart and I always have...take care Shou, my beautiful baby boy..." she then smiled gently at Shou, every single bit of her warm personality showed up in that final expression.
It was then, that her eyes slowly closed; and the once energetic woman went completely limp.

Shou was silent for a few minutes as he looked down at the now-still woman, he suddenly seemed to make a murmuring sound...and in a few seconds, those murmurs turned into sobs; pretty soon he was wailing his heart-out.
The last time he'd done something like this was when his drawings were burnt and when his beloved teddy was ripped.. but they were nothing compared to what he had just lost; this had just torn right through his soul.
" Mommy....." he just managed to say through sobs " Mom..."

Tigerlily had been sitting on the window-sill throughout all of this, her ears twitched and she seemed to lower her head.
It was said that animals could sense a person's feelings.. and it seemed to be true as the cat picked up on a tremendous feeling of sorrow.
She jumped down and padded over to where Shou was and mewed softly.

Shou's had to wipe his eyes before looking down at the cat.
" She's gone...she's gone Tigerlily" he sobbed, and picked the cat up gently, cradling her lightly as he held her close for comfort.

Tigerlily didn't struggle, but rather just purred soothingly; had she of been human..she probably would of been doing the same as him; since she wasn't, she would deal with it in her own way.
Emily had been like a mother to her, ever since she got Lilly as a kitten at that run-down pet shop.. and now her mother/owner was gone.

Shou cradled the cat for a while, his sobs slowly subsided as he thought about what his mother had said to him, he did have to be strong for her now..but such a thing was hard to do when he thought back to how close he'd been to his mother.
" Will I ever be able to fufil your request Mother?" he sadly asked the dead woman; already feeling like he was failing her.
" I know you said for me to be strong... but how strong am I, if I can barely contain my tears at your death?"

To be continued!

Authors Notes: Sorry for the long wait everyone, the flashbacks of chapter 5 have been taking quite a long time for me to write ( due to an on-going attack of writer's block) ..so much so, that I've ended up splitting it into three different parts ( chapter 4, chapter 5..and now chapter 6) :: nervous laugh::

The next chapter to come will be the last of the flashback chapters before it goes back to present day.. I just hope no one finds this annoying.
Secondly, I can honestly say that Emily's death and Jacob leaving his family were not meant to represent the Elric family in any way what-so-ever.. it just ended up happening :: sweatdrops::

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Next Chapter; Ghosts of the Past - Now that his mother's gone, what will the young fourteen year old Shou do now?