Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

The Places to Love

Chapter Twenty-one

Michaela stood on the porch while the children raced around Matthew's car arguing over who was going to sit in the front seat. Matthew spoke to them sharply and they quickly settled down a little as he turned back towards Michaela.

"I can't thank you and Sully enough. This being a parent is much harder than I thought."

The doctor felt her heart pricked as she watched the young lawyer stand before her. "I think we got a taste of that," she gently chuckled but patted his shoulder at the same time. "But it looks like you're doing an excellent job."

"I've had a lot of help from Ingrid," he admitted. "I wanted to leave them with her but she was going away with her family this weekend."

"Well we were happy to help out. It was fun having them here."

Matthew smiled. "I suppose a taste of what your own future holds."

Michaela forced a smile as she once again struggled with her thoughts about not being able to conceive. "Right," she replied her voice now strangely quiet. "We'll see."

At that moment, Sully appeared stepping from the door of the house to shake Matthew's hand. "I checked once more. Looks like they packed up everything."

"Good. Again, I thank you two."

"Our pleasure," Sully assured him.

Matthew turned towards the children now playing an impromptu game of tag. "Alright you two say good-bye. We better get you two home and fed." Both Brian and Colleen raced onto the porch to hug Sully and Michaela, thanking them as Matthew reminded them too.

As the three pulled away, Sully wrapped his arm around Michaela's waist and waved to the departing car. "That was a long weekend," he remarked giving a shake of his head.

Michaela grimaced a little at his comment. "It wasn't that bad. Besides it will be that way when we have children." She turned to look at him as he turned in towards her, their eyes meeting slowly. "Perhaps you've rethought wanting children?"

"Nah," he said with a shake of his head, unaware of the myriad of thoughts racing through his wife's mind. "Just saying I'm glad that we have this chance to be alone… to be uninterrupted."

"There are other things in life than sex," Michaela said moving away to enter the house.

Sully laughed, believing his wife was teasing him. "There is?" He patted her playfully on the bottom as he followed her in. Turning to face him once again,
Sully realized that Michaela was serious, not joking in the least. "Hey, I'm just playin' with ya."

"I know," she sighed. "But I'm afraid Matthew is struggling and I can't help but feel bad for them."

"I know but there isn't much we can do but offer to help out. I mean it ain't like we're ready to adopt them or something." Michaela's eyes lit up at the words as her mind had considered this option only moments before.

"We do have the room," she pointed out.

Sully's brow wrinkled. "Michaela, children need more than just room. We're both busy with our jobs – just as busy as Matthew is. We'd have no time for them."

"But when we have a baby…" Sully pulled her into his embrace and laid his finger across her lip.

"We'll make time. We'll adjust." He kissed her lips gently letting his hands roam down her back towards her bottom. "I was thinking perhaps a Sunday afternoon nap was in order?"

Michaela laughed feeling her body warm with Sully's touch. She laid one hand against his chest the other on his neck as she pulled his lips down to hers. Sully increased the pressure of his lips against hers parting his slightly as he sucked her lower lip between his. Pulling back to catch his breath, he watched the passion he'd ignited dance in his wife's eyes. In one quick step, he'd picked her up in his arms ignoring her protests to carry her up the stairs.

Michaela held Sully against her breast, absentmindedly scratching his back with one hand as she reveled in the feeling of closeness that enveloped them. She could still remember the first time she lay naked in his arms, her legs entangled with his. Each feeling was heightened, each sensation eliciting a pleasure she'd never known. Now it was the same. Every breath of his stirred her and she felt her emotions close to the surface for some unknown reason.

Sully was feeling especially tired but he was also aware that Michaela wasn't her usual self. "You alright?" he whispered as he rolled onto his side to pull her close. Her leg slipped in between his as their arms enveloped each other.

"Fine," she whispered shutting her eyes tightly to stop the tears. Sully wasn't fooled though, her uneven breathing giving her away.

"Tell me." His voice was warm and gentle, coaxing instead of demanding. Michaela didn't want to answer though and she lay against him quietly. Sully reached around to find her hand and held it in his own, savoring the softness and warmth as he gently tickled her palm with his thumb. "'Chaela is this about the children?"

"No… yes…." She sighed loudly, shaking her head as the first tear leaked out from under her eyelid. "I don't know."

A gentle chuckle escaped Sully's mouth as he slid his fingers between hers interlocking them. "Ya gonna tell me?"

"I don't even know what to say." Sully said nothing in way of reply, knowing that given enough time she would say more. It took a while for Michaela to crumble and began to talk but Sully's patience eventually won out. "I'm afraid I won't ever have a child."

"We haven't even tried, Michaela."

"I know, I know. But I can't shake this feeling – it haunts me. I just think we shouldn't throw out the adoption option so easily."

"I ain't throwin' it out," Sully said a little too defensively. "I'm just sayin' we ain't ready to take on two kids." He let go of her hand and sat up a little in the bed.

Suddenly Michaela's tears were gone as she felt her own fuse ignite. "Sully I'm just asking you to think about something before making a snap judgment." His brow furrowed as she sat up too, folding her hands across her chest. "It's like with Kat – you decide that she's wrong and shut her out."

"That's not true. I heard her out. She lied to me."

"Sully you don't know that. She was on drugs, half out of her mind…" The look on Sully's face stopped her. She could see the hurt there and that wasn't what she had meant to do at all. "I just meant…"

Yet before she could finish, Sully stood. "Don't," he whispered pushing her hand away as she reached for his arm. He turned to look at her as he leaned over to retrieve his pants from the floor. "You're guilty of the same thing," he said as he pulled on his jeans and headed towards the door.

Michaela had only ever seen him like this once before. The one serious fight, they'd had before their marriage. That time he'd disappeared for three days. "Where are you going?" she asked, her voice in a panic.

"Out."

"Sully…"

He shook his head, silencing her. "I'll be back," he said hoarsely and closed the bedroom door behind him.