Chapter Three
She was there, in His arms the next day. The night before had been a blur. They had hurt each other, lashing out in a shared pain. Then they held onto each other, neither willing to let go or surrender to sleep. But still, she awoke to find herself still in His arms.
She hated herself for it, but found herself unable to move. He was paler than she was, but not as thin. Muscles could still be felt beneath the skin, rock hard. He opened His eyes and she was lost in the dark silver depths of them again. He took her harshly, but she never cried out. Pain to her body did not matter anymore. The only pain that could hurt her was the one in her heart. The same pain that stared at her from His eyes.
But she could not look away.
He left, but came back with food. When she turned away, He forced it between her lips. Bite after bite until He was satisfied. Then He ate. She watched His careful hands, hands that had held her so close before and hands that had abused her. He saw that in her eyes, and He took her again, gently this time using His hands to soothe her.
She let Him, knowing He would be gone again soon. She slept again and awoke to find herself alone in the bed.
He entered the room, more food. She shook her head. Food was pointless. Didn't He know she wanted to die? That she was better off dead, as was He? Life only hurt. She lashed out at Him in her pain, slapping Him and screaming wordlessly. He endured the torment until she collapsed. Then He lifted her onto the bed and pulled her close to Him. She turned and faced Him, wrapping Him into herself. She held Him tight, not wanting to let Him go. Knowing He would be gone when she awoke.
The room was dark, her arms were empty. She began to cry, but He appeared suddenly in the darkness, skin bright in the light of the waning moon. He held her again and she cried until she fell asleep. The pain washed over her over and over, coloring her dreams. She cried out and He held her closer. She attacked Him viciously in her sleep, blaming Him for everything. He took the blows. He knew He was at fault. He could have stopped it all, but He never did. He deserved this.
He deserved much, much worse.
He wondered, as she slept fitfully, how He could have harmed her as He did. How He had called her to Him in His selfishness. He knew she would rather have gone with the two, but He couldn't let her. His hatred of her was far too great, she had had everything He had ever wanted. Had taken it for granted, flaunted it in front of Him.
He was not so sure it was what He had actually wanted now. She was even more of a shell than He, the one He had known before was so far gone, He was unsure if He could ever bring her back.
If she would let Him bring her back.
He hated her.
That hatred was but the tiniest splash in the ocean of His love for her.
She opened her eyes again, and He saw the surprise there.
"You should be gone." Her voice was nothing more than a cracked whisper.
"You should be dead." He replied.
It was the first words they had spoken to each other in almost a decade.
It was enough.
She fell back into sleep, angry at Him, angry at her dreams. The dreams she had managed to keep away for so long, He brought them back. Made her remember. Made her hurt.
She hated Him for it.
Even in her sleep she was angry, and she lashed out, again and again until her muscles grew too tired to obey her. She began to make a keening sound. He pulled her close and it stopped. He moved away and it started again. He pulled her too Him, folding her small body into His larger frame. The night passed.
The phone rang, waking them both with a start. Hands reached for weapons that were no longer there. Weapons that had not been there for a long time now. He stood and moved to the phone, grunting into it. He turned from her and spoke a few words, then hung up. When He turned back, she was standing dressed before Him. She moved toward the door, but He moved in front of her, pulling her to Him again. She fought for a minute, then sagged into Him. He carried her back to bed, then went for food.
This time she ate on her own. Then she slept again. The dark circles under her eyes remained unchanged. Her sparse body looked as broken as her insides were. He watched her sleep, never moving too far away. She would keen if He did. He did not want to leave her. His anger at her for being away for so long faded as He watched her sleep. His hatred slipped away, unable to find a foothold any longer. The feeling struck Him hard. He had never loved anyone like this before. He was unable to breathe, and His gasping made her open her eyes. Eyes that were wet with more tears. He brushed them away, marveling at how soft her skin still was. She watched Him intently, almost as if waiting for Him to leave.
He never would.
He didn't think she would ever understand that.
He wasn't too sure He would either.
Her sleep became more restful. He made food and it was in the room when she woke. She ate slowly, but not as much as He would have liked. He pressed more on her but she glared at Him and He moved away. He crawled into bed beside her again and they slept through the night.
The phone rang again the next morning. He was surprised to find her not in His arms. He panicked for a moment until He heard the shower. She came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her head. His heart slowed and He answered the phone. It was the same short conversation. He hung up and walked to the kitchen for food. He came back to find her sitting in bed, covers pulled up over her chest. He smiled and gently kissed her forehead. She winced and He stepped away and placed the tray on her lap. She finished most of it.
He watched her while she ate, seemingly unable to understand how she was still here, in His bed. She should have killed Him and left by now.
Maybe her hatred had been the same as His. He looked at her, she glared up at Him. She was still very, very angry. He didn't blame her. Couldn't blame her. It was all His fault anyway. She slid down into the bed again, her eyes on Him. He set the tray aside and moved over her again.
It was gentler this time. Afterward she cried softly and He held her close until she slept. He rose from the bed and moved through the cluttered house. The late afternoon sun lit the rooms, rays carving through the dust that hung in the air. The soft lapping sound from the ocean slipped through the opened windows on the edge of a cool breeze. He stepped out onto the small back patio, staring out at the endless water. The sun caressed each scar on His pale and bare body. There were many scars, each with a memory better left buried in the sand.
He turned His left arm over to look at the place the mark should be, but only thin white lines remained. Old white lines.
He looked back to the water.
She stood beside Him, the sheet wrapped around her sparse form. She looked at Him.
"I know." He said softly.
She was gone.
The wind picked up and He was chilled. He walked back inside the house, back to His empty bed.
He woke the next morning, dressed for work. He still had the wealth of generations, wealth He had doubled through investments made before and during the war. He was respected, worshipped by women who only saw the handsome face and not the haggard man who hid beneath it.
There was only one woman for Him anyway.
His secretary greeted Him, He nodded and moved into the lush office. No photos graced the walls, they were painted a soft color. Bookshelves stuffed full and disorganized along with a slightly cluttered desk were the only indications that the office was inhabited. The men who worked for Him had offices full of pictures of children and grand-children. He avoided those offices.
He read and signed the papers neatly set on His desk. He thought of her.
Of what could have been had be been braver. He could have ended it early, saved her the pain.
He had been selfish. He had wanted her all to Himself.
Now He had her, but she was not the same. She had buried herself deeper than He thought He could go. He vowed He would find her again, bring her back to Himself. He stood from his desk, ignoring the ringing phone.
His secretary called after Him, but the calls went unheeded. He dropped the mobile in the elevator, along with His tie. He apparated to her, shocking the others in the lab. She glared at Him, told Him to leave with her eyes. He shook His head. The force of her hatred washed over Him in that instant and His heart twisted in His chest. He gasped in pain.
She collapsed. He picked her up and cradled her body. Liquids dripped onto the floor from the countertops where the glass had all shattered.
"You won't leave me again Draco Malfoy." She spoke without opening her eyes.
"No, Hermione."
It was enough.
Authors note: Wow. I guess that is it. I thought this would go on much longer than it has. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it, as dark as it is. Thank you for reading.