This could not get worse

"Who was the fifth?"

"Severus Snape,"

From confusion to anger and then to pain, the expression in Lily's eyes travelled the journey very soon. It had hit her like a bolt of lightning. Her eyes were bloodshot, unknown tears falling blindly.

"Severus Snape,"

The words were hammering her head, a whirlwind of questions and emotions twisting her insides.

'Why did he do this?'

'Did he not, once, think of me?'

'Does he also think that muggleborns should be eliminated?'

She asked these questions to the scratched walls of her empty heart and they echoed again and again, leaving her more restless and hurt. She was face to face with the worst tragedy that could hit her. Severus was her best friend. Since the time they knew that they existed, they knew that the other was their companion for ever. And all of a sudden, Severus neglected her existence completely and joined hands with the forces, which were fighting against people like her.

She was shivering with the fear of the coming of the storm, her skin was burning with anger, her eyes were stinging with the pain holding back the waves of tears. She was in immense pain. She had never felt such an enormous bundle of emotions swell up inside her at the same time for the same thing.

She was sitting on the couch. Her legs were folded and her arms were securely tightened around them, her chin was on her knee. She was continuously crying. She had never felt more vulnerable. Her mind was wandering, recollecting old memories; memories of the time when she and Severus had been inalienable and their friendship had been indissoluble.

"Hey Sev, look what I got!"

Lily ran, with her little steps, on the grass in the garden of Severus' house, to show a trifoliate leaf to him. Severus was behind the rose hedges, apparently looking for something. He looked from behind the bushes and saw what Lily had to show.

"Wow! A lucky charm. I had been looking for one for a long time,"

Lily's face lit up at the acknowledgement and they sat down at the doorstep to show each other what they had discovered that day, during scavenger hunt.

Severus showed Lily a copper coin with the face of a lady engraved. They were too small to know who the lady was. He had also gotten an eagle feather, which he proudly displayed in his pencil stand, later. Lily had discovered a snail shell and that twig. The twig had two leaves in it. Lily plucked on of them and gave it to Severus.

"Thanks Lily,"

In between her fingers, she had that leaf, now pressed and dry. Its veins were clearly protruding out and Lily's fingers unconsciously followed their pattern while her mind wondered if Severus still had the leaf with him.

Lily ran along the corridor and hugged Severus; he picked her up and rotated in circles. Their laughter was reverberating in the lobby and was attracting quite a number of ogling pairs of eyes.

"Thanks Sev,"

"What for? It is my right to shower you with gifts on your birthday," he smiled.

He had sent her cute birthday messages through Peeves, throughout the day. Then Lily found a gift addressed to her after the combined Potions class of Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was from Severus.

Lily removed the scarf from her neck and revealed the moonlight pearl necklace that he had gifted her. He just raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"I knew it would look good on you," he complimented her.

"But how did you know that I wanted it?" Lily asked him with the excitement of a three year old on receiving a new bicycle, in her eyes.

"That is between my heart and yours. Why should we interfere?"

"Oh, Sev! You're my best friend," she hugged him again.

He kissed the top of her head and said, "You too,"

Did he still consider her as his best friend – she wondered.

She was unable to understand how things had changed; she could not make out why they had to change; she could not grasp the moment when things started changing; they just did.

Without a hint, Severus had started treading an alien path and went a different way. He was not with her and it pricked her like hell's fork. She wanted him back, she wanted is friendship back.

James entered the heads' dorm and saw that Lily was sleeping on the couch, clutching the beige cushion, which was still wet from tears. The pain in his eyes stepped down. He went and sat next to her, making almost no sound of being there. He gazed at her face, now pale and weak. The tears had dried and left a track on her cheeks. Her hair were scattered on the armrest of the couch, where her head lay. The pang that he had felt last night, reappeared in his eyes. His eyes were muffled with the mist of misunderstanding, her eyes were closed to hide the destruction inside her; they could not talk.

James started talking to Lily in an inaudible voice, "I don't know if I will get a chance to say this to you ever in my life. I love you Lily, most passionately. You have been a driving force in my life. I became a prankster to catch your attention, I started playing wizard chess to impress you, I stopped hexing Snape to calm your nerves, I started inventing ways to ask you out to flatter you. I did everything that was inside my capability sphere. I followed you, teased you, pestered you, complimented you, protected you; I did al this because I loved you, I still do and I always will do,"

Lily shifted slightly, her hair fell on her face. James fingered her hair away from her face and grazed at her with his eyes, as if it was the last time that he was looking at her.

"The first time I saw you, you were a fiery girl, passionate about her studies and who detested being called even an acquaintance of indiscipline rogues. You would talk only to Snape and I would wonder what that Slytherin had that the Gryffindors didn't. I took you up as a challenge from myself and unknowingly got entwined in the magical aura weaved around you. I was mesmerized by your wit, enthralled by your honesty, bewitched by your innocence. I got caught in your emerald eyes, those lovely eyes. I still draw comfort from them. But today they are closed. But I am not sorry for myself. I am happy that I fell in love with someone like you. My love for you does not depend on what you feel about me. I will love you, whatever your feelings are for me. Always remember that there is somebody, in some corner of the world, who is there for you, who is ready to protect you, who is happy because you are happy," he kissed her head lightly and left an envelope beside her.

Lily, wearing a white gown with a train of silver sequins, was running with a man in a black suit.

Someone shouts 'Lily',

The man next to her stops and she turns back to see who had called her. She sees a flash of hazel eyes – It was Aulay.

Then she turns back to the man she was running with. He had ebony black hair, combed back. She put her hand on his shoulders. He turned back.

Lily again saw a pair of smiling hazel eyes. The man had a beautiful smile and a sleek, chiseled face.

Lily looked at him and said, "I don't love him,"

The man took her inside his warm embrace……………………..

………………………and Lily woke up.

"James,"

Lily's hand fell on the envelope kept next to her. She opened it and took the letter out. She immediately recognized the handwriting, having read his letters many times during the holidays. It read:

'Lily,

I haven't written this letter to reinstate my feelings or emotions for you. I don't know why things didn't work between us. We couldn't even remain friends. But I am happy that I was in love with a person like you. I wish you all the best for your future. You deserve somebody better.

Final Goodbye,

James'

Tears started trickling down her cheeks. She had now gotten accustomed to the feeling of the fateful liquid flowing down her skin. As soon as the letter ended, she pressed the letter to her chest and cried.

This was the worst. The day she found out who her man was, he left her. James had waved his final goodbye.

Lily was more heartbroken than ever. This was blackest in her memory. She had been stranded in an isolated island. Her boat was lost and she could she the approaching typhoon. She was feeling like she was being whirled from one hurricane to another. She was standing in front of a blind alley, a dead end. She shuddered to think of what lay ahead.

Her sister, her best friend, her love – all gone. She felt alone. She could not rejoice the safety she had felt in James' hands; she could not celebrate the moments that she'd spent with Severus though he had disposed them off his mind; she couldn't eulogize the time that she had been with Petunia, though long back.

Because now she was alone, all alone.