Of Letters and Lies

James was sitting on a rock near the ridge of the mountain in Hogwart's backyard. He could see the school, the lush green gardens, the lake. The sun was setting behind the lake, giving the water golden hue. The rays seemed to have been trapped in the water. A piece of paper in his hand, fluttered in the blowing zephyr. It was the letter he had received two days back from his stepbrother.

'James,

It has been a long time since I wished to communicate with you. But there is something which you need to know. Being the Boys' Captain of Durmstrang, I had participated in WDSC and I met somebody there. It was the girl whose photograph you have pasted on your cupboard – Lily Evans.

What a beautiful creature she is! Such beautiful eyes, such a lovely face, such graceful manners, such a humorous wit. For the first time in my life I appreciate your choice. We, I and Lily, became fast friends since our very first meeting. I even took her on a broomstick ride. How she enjoyed it! Then I proposed to her and she replied instantly. She said yes.

But one thing that I find strange is that she never mentioned your name. Even when I asked her about her friends, she took just one name – Sev. Maybe your affair was too much one sided to be called an affair.

One more thing, Sirius has told her about our relationship. He tried a lot to caution her and warn her off me. But as you know, it didn't work. So ask him to take a chill pill next time and mind his own business. Also make sure that he does not challenge me again.

If you doubt the authenticity of the details that I've given you, take a chance and ask her. You'll not get a word out of her mouth about me. I have known her quite a lot to guess this. So just shower your good wishes on us.

Aulay'

It was this letter which made James to call Lily on the astronomy tower. But she did not turn up and he got his answer. Even Sirius sounded uneasy when answering questions about Aulay and Lily.

Now, James sat solemnly on the rock. He didn't want to face Lily as wouldn't be able to someone else's reflection in the eyes of the girl he loved. He sat there fir a long time and watched the setting sun. Soon it became dark and he looked up at the velvety dark sky encrusted with numerous sparkling diamonds. He could see Lily's eyes twinkling among them, her smile glistening amidst the stars. For him, Aulay was his elder brother and Lily was the girl e loved the most. He chose to seek happiness in their happiness. He didn't want to make even one of them unhappy. Till the time they were happy. He was happy.

Lily was sitting in the restricted section of the library. It was peaceful there. Madam Pince had always been lenient towards her. Lily was neither there to brush her 'Advanced Potions' up, nor war she there to look for a detail she'd stumbled upon while studying. She was there to hide, from James, from her feelings, from herself. There was one more thing she was hiding from – Aulay's love. She had just received a letter from Aulay and she wasn't able to gather herself after she read it.

'Dearest Lily,

I hope you are fine. It is getting unbearable for me to stay away from you for so long. I am dying to hear your voice and see your smile. The ticking of the clock I the only thing that keeps me pacified. I will be there at Hogwarts tomorrow. I so long to feel the comfort and affection of Hogwarts, which you told me about. I really wish to feel the warmth of your presence around me once again. And if it is in your haven, then nothing like it.

Amazingly, I have started writing poetry after meeting you. I wrote this one week after I came back to Durmstrang.

I know not, what has happened to my heart.

Just now it was here, and now it is lost.

I wish the time be still

And run back a few miles.

Run back to the place,

Where I misplaced all my smiles.

I'm here, you're not.

So why this love knot?

You did not have a last look

Even though I waited

When I tried to stop you,

You had already proceeded.

I'm here, you're not.

So why this love knot?

I don't know if you like it or not. I hope you do.

Will meet you soon,

Yours forever,

Aulay'

She was perturbed. He was so deeply in love with her and she felt sorry that she could not reciprocate it. She took the letter out of her robes and read the poem again.

I wish the time be still

And run back a few miles.

Run back to the place

Where I misplaced all my smiles.

She too wanted the time to run back. She wanted it fly back to the time when she still had Severus' friendship and James' love with her. She wanted to relive those memories of her being happy in the company of the men she loved the most. Though with extreme difficulty, she was able to gulp down the fact that Sev had gone. She had gotten used to the feeling of Severus being far away from her. But the hard truth that James had bid farewell was indigestible for her.

I'm here, you're not.

So why this love knot?

The absence of James from her life was poking her. She was getting restive. She felt as if a limb of hers had been amputated.

You didn't have a last look,

Even though I waited.

When I tried to stop you,

You had already proceeded.

She had waited and waited, but she never received any signal from anywhere. And when it dawned on her, James had gone. She wanted to talk to him, to tell him how deeply she'd fallen in love with him, to make him happy. But what pacified her was that he was happy. Lou, his new Lily was bringing him joys and smiles. Till the time he was happy, she was happy.

She didn't know what the time was. She had lost track. From mid-afternoon to late evening, she kept inside the restricted area.

In the heads' dorm, Sirius was getting worried. Now and then, he would glance at the clock and then at the door. He knew that Lily was disturbed and her absence was inviting all the wrong thoughts in his mind.

Finally, he went looking for her. He regretted the fact that he had surrendered the Marauder's map to Filch. For a moment he thought about nicking it from there. But his duties took their measure and he started thinking of places where Lily might be.

The first was Severus Snape. Since the first year, the only place which could comfort Lily in dire stress was next to Severus. But the case then was different. Severus had eloped and the only person he could think of was Sydney.

"Seen Lily?" Sirius' worry was evident in his tone.

"Yeah, I accompanied her to the library," Sydney said without looking up from her essay.

Sirius hurried to the Library.

"Is Lily Evans here?" he asked Madam Pince.

"Yes, she is in the restricted area. Please show your mark if you wish to enter that area," Madam Pince peered from above her spectacles.

Sirius knew that she was wary of the idea that any of the marauders would enter her beloved section. A silly reason and she would push the marauders out of her library. So made sure that he always carried his mark with her. He twisted his badge and it reflected his identity. Then it swiveled and showed Madam Pince's signature. She nodded her head on seeing the mark and he dashed towards the section.

He found Lily with her head on the table in front of her. There was a letter in her hands and it was apparent that she was terribly upset.

"Hey Lils," He tapped her head with his hands.

She looked up. Her face was swollen and red from crying. A general pallor was spread on her face. She was looking weak and dreadful.

Sirius got even more worried. He pulled a chair next to her and sat facing her; pulling her hands in his own.

"What's the matter?"

Lily tried to hold her feelings back. But she couldn't. Tears started streaming out from her eyes, unchecked. Sirius put his hands around her and pulled her in a deep embrace.

"What happened, Lily?" he mumbled.

"I didn't want this, Sirius. I never wanted this," she cried even more. Her body was shaking. Sirius held her tighter.

"What did you not want?" he whispered again.

"I did not want James to go away. Neither did I want Sev to go away. Everyone has left me, Sirius. Everyone," she sobbed.

An expression of understanding unfurled on his face.

"Sev was my best friend, Sirius. And see what he did," she blubbered.

She pulled out of his embrace, her hands pressed inside Sirius'.

"How could he do this to me? How could he?" she whimpered again.

Sirius looked at her and spoke, "I can understand what you are going through,"

Lily understood what he meant.

"I am sorry," she scoured her tears away.

"I am not. I knew they would do this some day. That was the day. All the Blacks are the same – cruel. I am not sorry; I am ashamed to be a part of that family. I am ashamed to admit that the blood running in my veins is their. I have the worst lineage anyone could ever have. But it is their deed. Mine is different and I am grateful to Almighty that he sprinkled some sense at least on me,"

Lily stopped crying.

He continued, "And as far as James is concerned, you just have to put your hand forward and he'll come running,"

Lily didn't tell him about the letter James had given her.

He pulled her up on her feet and both went to their dorm. Lily felt the same comfort in Sirius' hug that she felt in Severus'. She felt lucky to have gotten a friend in him. She thanked her stars for sending Sirius as her angel.

The evening of the arrival of the Durmstrang and Beauxbaton captains arrived. Horace Slughorn and Minerva Mcgonagall, the caretakers, had made all the arrangements of their stay in the Room of Requirements. It was right in front of the heads' dorm, so Lily and Sirius weren't required to shift. The room was done up beautifully. Four Four-poster beds were put in four corners of the room. The central area was carpeted with peach coloured rugs and surrounded with large cushions to sit on. In the centre, a teak coffee table was kept. For each student, a special library pass was made to ensure that they remained entertained.

Lily and Sirius were standing in the garden with professor Slughorn and professor Mcgonagall, waiting for their guests. First, professor Lwoff arrived with Mary and Ted using cloak as the portkey. The Beauxbaton professor was greeted with a bouquet of exotic purple and pink tulips. Lily and Sirius welcomed their friend with a hug and then showed them the way to their room. They made sure that they were well acquainted with the ways of the school and the moving staircases.

After making sure that they were comfortable, Lily and Sirius returned to the ground to usher in their Durmstrang friends - Aulay and Pamela. Professor Maria Boltsman was also gifted with a bunch of exotic tulips coloured red and yellow.

Lily felt a tinge of discomfort when Aulay approached her and gave her a hug. Sirius, as ever, was cold towards him and flinched when he hugged Lily.

"Hi!" Aulay was bright and cheerful.

"Hello," Lily said, dismantling his embrace.

"Hi, Pam," Lily greeted her.

"Hullo, Lily. How have you been?"

"Very well, thank you. Come; let me show you your room,"

Lily avoided further conversation with Aulay. Actually, she avoided any conversation at all. The only voice reaching their senses was Sirius', instructing them about the changing positions of the staircases, the areas to be avoided and the way to the library.

They reached the Room of Requirement and Sirius saw to it that everyone was fully satisfied with what they had been given. Then Lily and Sirius left the guests and went to their room.

"Tomorrow will be a long day," Sirius talked to Lily, once inside the dorm.

"Yeah. I'm tired. I'll go to sleep now," she yawned and shuffled back to her room.

Her heart was pounding with apprehension and for the first time in her life, she was unsure about how her behaviour should be. She didn't know how to tell Aulay that she loved his stepbrother and not him. She decided to let time take its turn. She snuggled inside her duvet and closed her eyes, knowing that she wouldn't be sleeping sound.