Okey dokey, folks! Time for Round Four! I should be writing a history paper right now, but the Chesapeake region is no match for Zim!

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THWACK!

A large tree branch smashed into Zim's forehead as Ari dragged him through the dense undergrowth. "HUMAN," Zim barked as he nursed his swollen noggin, "how long until we reach the point of safety; I have several owies-" Ari glanced awkwardly at him during this, "I mean, WOUNDS from the plant life of this world!"

Ari snickered a little and moved her firm grip from Zim's arm to his hand. "For a mighty alien invader, you're the biggest…what's your word for it? Oh yeah, smeet! You're the biggest smeet I know."

Zim attempted to scowl, but couldn't seem to manipulate his face while Ari had control of his hand. The sickly-green skin of the invader went emerald as the human girl lead him into a shabby clearing. "So," Ari said as she turned to face the blushing Zim, "this is the spot your friends should be meeting us at in about…half an hour." Zim nodded quickly to hide his blushing, but Ari grinned to herself as she noticed his nervous nature; Zim hadn't let go of her hand yet.

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A small, twitchy squirrel scampered through a pile of wet dead leaves, twitching about in complete ignorance, until a spiny hand swooped down and snatched it up. "Yes my little wretch, you are just one of many…one of the many I shall use for my new squirrel-powered ship! After my turtle-powered engine and duck-powered models failed, I knew the only logical step was SQUIRRELS! I shall return home with the power of furry mammals!"

It seemed as though a few years stranded in the Earthling wilderness had adverse affects on this poor creature, a creature that was still as ruthless, classy, and terrifying as when it arrived, but simply a little more vengeful.

Presently the creature, of feminine shape, heard the rumblings of a conversation nearby and cautiously crept towards the area for a better view. A female voice piped up, "So this is the spot your friends should be meeting us at in about…half an hour." As the creature looked closer, it noticed a tan, blonde human girl conversing with a boy…a boy with black hair and a large green head…

The creature went berserk with rage: "ZIM!" it hissed. The pair quickly looked over at the bush, but decided it was simply a small mammal. The creature stood stock-still as the two unraveled their plan; the new listener merely heard the words "Dib," "escape," and "freedom." The creature sulked over to a nearby tree and slumped against it. "Foolish Zim…he thinks he can get away with this, an escape plan? Not while invader blood courses through my veins. I may detest the humans and that obnoxious Dib creature, but the lesser of two evils must be employed in order to seek revenge on that….awful….pathetic…insult to the Irken race!" the creature stood up and clenched its fists as a strong breeze ruffled the dead leaves. "I will help expose and destroy Zim, or my name isn't Invader Tak!"

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"All I'm saying is that vampires COULD infiltrate the band-aid market and destroy it from the ground up if they really wanted to; think of all that blood, wasted on an absorbent strip. If I was a vampire it'd be the first thing I'd consider in my plan for conquest," Dib babbled. He wore a hands-free headset and sipped a large soft drink.

"I'm telling you, if we combined our resources and really hit this conspiracy hard we could become senior paranormal investigation agents! So what do you say w- hello? Hello? Grandma? Grandma, are you still there?" Dib shrugged and clicked off the headset. No sooner had he ended his conversation with his grandma and picked up a sci-fi magazine than another call came through on the headset.

"Hello?" Dib muttered.

A ripple of intense static erupted from the other end of the line before a voice began to cut in.

"Ye-Dib thi-yo-remem-ne-elp," the other voice babbled through the static.

Dib frowned and flicked the headset, "Yeah, I can't hear you, you're breaking up."

Suddenly, the frantic chatter of…squirrels erupted from the other line before only a small, harmless crackle could be heard.

The voice said. "Yes, hello Dib. You may not remember me, but I remember you. We have something in common: a certain green pest with big plans…"

Dib's eyes went wide as he exclaimed, "ZIM? You know about him too?"

The voice laughed. "Oh yes Dib, I know all about Zim…and his most recent plan…it concerns YOU."

Dib's right eye twitched violently as he listened to this news. "I'm listening. Go on."

The squirrel noises resumed momentarily, accompanied by the frustrated sounds of the caller. "Forgive me, this telephone is squirrel powered." Surprisingly, the previous statement didn't even faze Dib.

The voice resumed, "As I was saying, Zim has a certain possession of yours…something very dear to you…a blonde, pretty something."

Dib stopped for a moment before he realized what the caller meant. He said, "Ari…he's got Ari?"

The voice laughed and said, "If that's what you call it. I will help you get revenge on Zim and help you get your woman back…for a price."

Dib pondered this before angrily demanding, "Who ARE you?"

The caller laughed even more crazily and sinisterly than before. "In good time. You'll recognize me when you reach Splitfoot's Forest in twenty minutes," the voice said, and the phone clicked off with one last squirrelly crackle.

Dib sat, fists clenched, heart pounding, teeth gritted in true anger. Zim had scared, annoyed, and bothered Dib, but this was the first instance in which he was truly angry at the green-skinned menace. He stood up, threw down his headset, and grabbed his trench coat.

He knew what he had to do.

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It had been a busy day for Gir. The neighbor's pet squid had died (likely from lack of attention) and Gir had rescued it from the trash, citing it as a "teddy bear." In the same day, a parrot delivery truck had crashed outside the compound, releasing hundreds of exotic birds. One parrot, red with an oversized noggin and googly eyes, had wandered into the yard, where it was subsequently captured and force fed by Gir. After going into a comatose state due to overeating, Gir seized this opportunity to make a new friend. Using his freshly dead squid and the new parrot pal, he created a squelchy creature that Dr. Frankenstein would have cringed at. It had the squid's lower body and the parrot's torso, with a zipper sewn into the back of the neck. Gir deemed his new friend "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!" but luckily for any sane human being, Gir normally referred to the creature as Jub.

After a long day of feeding Jub lipstick, Gir decided to take his new pet on a walk. He remembered that Master was going to find his new human girl to take her to a spinach festival or some such fun, and he decided to take Jub to find his Master.

Poor, confused Gir would unwittingly start a chain of events that would make the evening very interesting….very interesting indeed.

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The stars of the Milky Way galaxy twinkled like embers as a tall, good-looking man with lavender hair slumped lazily over a steel chair while an identical man (although with crimson hair) mixed drinks behind a bar. The lavender-haired young man looked seriously ill, almost…green with fatigue. The skin of the young man almost seemed lifeless and fake as it hung off the frame of the boy himself. Suddenly, the skin dropped off without warning to reveal a green, antennae-adorned head of pulpy flesh.

"Oh, is it that time already?" the red man asked. Suddenly, his skin dropped away to reveal a similar form. The handsome young men melted away to reveal everyone's favorite monarchial jerks Almighty Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple! The two aliens stretched and tossed aside the saggy disguises.

"Told you these would come in handy, Purple," Red gloated.

Purple merely sighed and resumed his slump against the chair. "Remind me of the plan again, Red," Purple murmured. Red resumed heartily shaking a strange jar full of alien alcohol as he grinned and began to explain.

"It's so simple, and yet so wonderful, Purple. By marrying that pale girl, you will be entitled to access to Membrane's Laboratories. By exposing their weaknesses and leaving evidence of Zim's existence, we can simultaneously conquer their planet while ridding ourselves of that little green pain-in-the-ass! Not only will we infiltrate the Membrane Industries Lab, but we'll also get a couple of sweet ladies out of the deal! I mean, admit it Purple, that goth chick was pretty hot, and I bet she has TONS of equally pale and unsuspecting friends!" Red exclaimed.

Purple grimaced at the thought of marrying an angry Earthling as he turned to Red and asked, "Since when did you become such a horn-slorbie? What happened to the one that got away?"

Red's easy-going demeanor suddenly vanished and was replaced by honest forlornness. "Let's not talk about that, Purple. Concentrate on the mission. 'Prince Urple' has to be the most suave, wonderful, and dominant Earthling this girl has ever seen. Only then can we complete this mission, get some action, and leave that little dust ball of a planet," he moped.

Purple and Red spent another hour in silence before they finally reached Earth.

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TA-DA! Next chapter: Tallest arrive on Earth and adjust to human life, those two Terrorists finally show up, Zim, Ari, Tak, and Dib get into a forest mixup, and Gir get into some trouble! I'm exhausted, my girlfriend is really sick, and I have a pantload of homework to do. Happy Turkey Day!