Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts (II), Sora, Kairi, Riku, etc.

Author's Note: This was totally random, yet somehow, deep in my heart, I think this is my favorite chapter. It's cool if it's not yours; I'm just saying I liked writing this one best. Oh, and by the way, whenever you see this symbol """"", it means that we're going further in time. (Yes, I know it's not "111" anymore, but I wanted to be more creative than that.)

Warning: Lots of random poems ahead. If you do not like poetry, stop reading now. Actually, don't. I don't like poetry, and I like the poetry in this. (They're by famous writers. CoughnotShakespearecough)

Quick Author Babble: All poems mentioned in this chapter are owned by their rightful authors and the company that supported them.

Chapter 20: Little Messages

Kairi walked back home after comforting Sora. What a horrible Christmas! She wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to celebrate the blasted holiday again.

Kairi had never been right there when someone died, and it was…scary. She barely knew Mr. Roma, but if he was anything like his son, he would've been a very nice person.

Kairi opened the door and walked inside the house. Naminé immediately came running to her.

"Did you see him?" she asked, face clouded with worry. "Is he okay?"

"He's doing alright for someone whose father just passed away," Kairi replied.

Even though that was true, it was still sad to see Sora in this state. All his optimism had gone down the drain, just like that.

"Oh, poor thing," Mrs. Ire said, walking out of the living room. "I feel so bad! And to think I was the one to tell him! Oh…"

"It's not your fault, Mom," Naminé remarked. "Sora had to find out sometime."

"I'm…going to go upstairs," Kairi stated, and she walked up the staircase.

She could still hear her mother's voice even from upstairs.

"Kairi must've been hit pretty hard too," Mrs. Ire said. "After all, seeing her best friend like this…Finding out how cruel fate can be the hard way…"

Kairi turned and walked into her bedroom. Instead of switching on the overhead light, she turned on the lamp at her bedside and collapsed on her bed. She picked up Sora's picture and looked at it for a long time. She really was sorry for his loss. She couldn't imagine how life would be without her father.

She put down the picture and looked up at the ceiling. Suddenly something red and pink caught her eye.

Three hundred sixty-five messages.

Kairi walked up to the vase. She should start today—then by next Christmas, they'd be finished. She closed her eyes and her arm dove into the messages and came back out holding a pink piece of paper.

Kairi unraveled it and was surprised to see how big it was. It had just been folded very small to fit in the vase. She looked at the writing scrawled on the page.

I went to the Garden of Love.

And saw what I never had seen;

A Chapel was built in the midst,

Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of the Chapel were shut,

And "Thou Shall Not", writ over the door;

So I turn'd to the Garden of Love,

That so many sweet flowers bore,

And I saw it filled with graves,

And tombstones where flowers should be:

And Priests in black gowns,

Were walking their rounds,

And binding with briars,

My joys and desires.

Kairi looked at the message for a long time. It seemed that this little note had told the future. She took it carefully in her fingers and pinned it up on the board Roxas had given her for her birthday.

"My joys and desires…" she murmured, and as she lied down to sleep she knew she was going to have odd dreams.

"""

Kairi ran over to Sora's house almost as soon as she woke up. She wanted to see him and make sure he was okay. She raced down the sidewalk, nearly running into an old man.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" he yelled, swinging his cane in the air.

"Sorry!" Kairi cried.

"Stupid kids…" muttered the old man, and he continued on his way.

Kairi ran up the walkway to Sora's house and knocked on the door. She waited for a very long time before someone finally opened the door.

"Oh, hi, Kairi," Sora said, smiling the smallest bit.

"Hi, Sora," Kairi replied. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," Sora stated.

He was lying, but those eyes of his couldn't. They immediately lost the happy sparkle they usually had. Well, if he was going to do this, then Kairi was going to play along.

"I'm happy to hear that," she said.

"But my mom's not happy at all," Sora remarked, frown deepening. "She hasn't stopped crying since yesterday."

Kairi quieted and heard faint sobs from inside the house.

"Oh," Kairi stated, looking down. "Well, maybe you could do something nice for her…you know, to cheer her up."

"Yeah, I'm planning to write her a song," Sora said.

"That's a great idea!" Kairi chirped.

Sora smiled too.

"Glad you like it," he said. "You can come in if you want."

Sora and Kairi entered the house and walked into the living room. There sat a pretty blond woman, her face in her hands.

"Hi, Mom," Sora said softly.

Mrs. Roma looked up at him and cried harder.

"I'm sorry, Sora…" she sobbed. "It's just…you look so much like him…It's hard not to cry…"

Sora smiled and Kairi recognized that smile. Sora always threw it at her whenever she was sad or feeling hopeless.

"It's okay," he said. "I don't mind."

Kairi looked at his eyes. He was lying again. Of course, how could she blame him? It would be hard for your mother to cry every time she saw you.

Mrs. Roma tried to smile through her flowing tears at the red-haired girl standing behind her son.

"Hello!" she chirped. "You must be Kairi! Sora's told me a lot about you!"

Her light voice, her smile, that glint in her eye—all a façade. Kairi could tell almost instantly. She was used to it because Sora did it all the time—smiling when he really didn't feel like it. Though, Kairi had to admit, it would fool anyone else. Mrs. Roma had even got her eyes to lie, unlike her son. The whole Roma family must've been good with façades.

"Hi," Kairi said, smiling softly. "It's nice to meet you. I'm very sorry about your loss."

"Oh, well, these things happen, I suppose."

Mrs. Roma held her voice steady, like Kairi hadn't been there at all when she was crying. Her green eyes were turning red from effort to hold in tears. She was trembling with building up emotion.

Kairi couldn't just stand around and watch her fright and sadness. She knelt down and hugged Mrs. Roma, who completely collapsed and burst into tears.

Kairi's sweater was getting wet from the tears, but she didn't care. Mrs. Roma was much like Sora, she realized. They both refused to cry in front of people, smiled when they were really dying inside.

Kairi was suddenly struck with a horrible thought. Sora was still pretending that he didn't care at all. What if he was like his mother and held in his emotions until he burst?

Kairi was patient with Mrs. Roma, however, and only pulled away when she was done crying. Mrs. Roma smiled at her, and this one was true—much different than the forced one.

"Thank you," she said. "You're a very sweet girl."

"No, thank you," Kairi remarked. "Your family's done a lot for me, right, Sora?"

She looked behind her. Sora was caught off guard at the mention of his name. He seemed to be thinking about what to say when Kairi stood up and walked over to him. She looked him right in the eye.

"Kairi, what are you doing?" he asked. "You're look at me weirdly."

He laughed, and even though it sounded effortless, Kairi knew in her heart it was a lie. His blue eyes seemed darker than usual. Kairi knew it right there and then—Sora was suffocating under the burden of his father's death. He had to deal with the loss of his father; his mother couldn't look at him without crying; the thought of death was burning in his mind.

It was horrible.

Kairi wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his neck.

"W-What are you doing?" Sora stuttered.

"I know you can't let everything go by yourself," Kairi said. "You miss him, don't you?"

Sora's breathing quickened.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he stated.

"Yes, you do. Yesterday you let one tear go. I know you miss your father. That's okay."

He trembled. He was scared. He had a right to be scared.

"N-No…" Sora said, more to himself than anyone. "Please…Don't…"

"Ssh…" Kairi remarked. "Just let it go…"

"No!" Sora shouted, pulling away violently. "Let go of me!"

Kairi fell backwards, surprised at the usually calm boy's roughness.

"Sora!" cried Mrs. Roma, also very surprised.

"Leave me alone, all of you!" Sora continued to yell. "I'm fine, and I really could do without people looking at me and feeling bad! Especially you, Mom! If you cry every time you look at me, just don't look at me anymore!"

Sora turned and ran upstairs, stomping very loudly the whole way.

"Oh dear," Mrs. Roma said. "Poor Sora…This is horrible…I've got to go say something…"

Kairi couldn't say anything. She was too surprised with Sora's violence with her. He was so gentle all the time, and now…

Kairi was actually scared of him.

Suddenly there was a crash from upstairs. Kairi and Mrs. Roma were immediately pushed out of their daze.

"Sora!" cried Kairi, and she jumped up and raced towards the stairs.

"Kairi, please, wait for me…" said Mrs. Roma, but Kairi was already running up the stairs. "Okay…fine…If you feel that way, you can take care of him yourself…He's my son…Of course, maybe it's better if I stay out of their way…"

Kairi ran up and listened for a noise to find which room Sora was in. Finally, she heard a rustle, and she raced into a room.

She could guess it was Sora's bedroom—there was a bed with a khaki quilt thrown over it, an alarm clock on the shelf, sports posters hung everywhere.

And in the middle was Sora.

Shattered pieces of glass were everywhere, surrounding him. And as Kairi approached him, she realized his hands were covered with cuts from them, drops of blood cascading—and probably staining—the carpet floor.

Kairi was terrified of what Sora had done to himself more than what he could do to her. She walked closer, each step seeming slower than the last, to see the cause of all the broken glass.

Lying in front of Sora was a picture frame, pieces of its glass cover thrown all around. Kairi knelt down, careful not to hit any glass, and looked at the picture that it originally contained.

The man in the picture looked very much like Sora—he had the same blue eyes and uncontrollable, brown hair. He even had the same smile. But he had some clear signs of an older age, like beard stubble, a much stronger chin, and more muscled arms.

"I hate you!" Sora shouted very suddenly.

At first Kairi thought he was talking to her, but she noticed his eyes were still locked on the picture frame.

"I hate you!" Sora repeated, fists clenching, making more blood come out. "I…I hate you…"

"Sora…" Kairi found herself saying, and she took one of his arms and held out his hand to examine the profusely bleeding cuts. "You're bleeding…"

"I don't care!" Sora snapped, wrenching his arm out of her grasp.

"Sora…please…"

"Forget it! I don't care what happens to me! After all, who else cares about what happens to me? I mean, nothing can compare to dying, right? And my dad's so much more important than me!"

"That's not true," Kairi said, tears rapidly gathering in her eyes. "I care…"

"You're lying! Even when you don't know my dad that well, you still think it's a worse situation for him! What about me? What about my mom? Doesn't anyone care about what happened to us? How he just abandoned us?"

"I do care!" Kairi shouted. "Lots of people care! Can't you see that?"

"Shut up!" Sora yelled, once again scaring Kairi. "You don't know anything!"

Kairi fell backwards onto her back, barely missing the glass all over the floor. She was shaking in shock and fear at Sora's shouts. He had never been like this before.

"I…I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Well, apologizing isn't going to bring my father back," Sora said.

The carpet was slowly turning red from all the blood leaking from his hands. Kairi was very worried about loss of blood. She took her scarf out of her sweater pocket and took his arm, ignoring Sora's struggle, and started to wrap it around his hand.

"Stop it!" Sora yelled, trying to pull away from her.

But Kairi's grip was firm, and she wasn't going to give up anytime soon. It needed pressure and secure gauze, and right now a scarf was all she had, because she knew Sora wouldn't let her go near him with a wraparound bandage.

"I said stop!"

And he slapped her…hard. Kairi dropped the scarf, now red from blood. She held the side of her face. It was burning with a sudden pain and the blood from Sora's cuts was now running down her cheek. Kairi sat like that, stunned, for a long time. Sora's mouth was now wide open. He was even shocked that he'd done such a thing.

Kairi let out a choked sob before getting up and running out the door.

"""

Kairi raced out of the Romas' house and down the road, still holding the side of her face. It was still hurting, and Sora had hit her cheekbone with a huge amount of force.

Tears rapidly sliding down her face, Kairi felt her heart beat fast. She was hurt—and not because of the pain in the side of her face.

She raced into her house, slamming the door behind her. Naminé came out to greet her from the living room, but stopped immediately as she saw the state her sister was in.

"Kairi?" she stuttered.

Kairi ignored her and raced up the stairs to her bedroom, where she dove onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow, leaving a crimson mark on the pillow. She cried as hard as she could.

Sora had slapped her.

Kairi had never thought that one day she'd be crying this hard for a situation like that, but she'd also never expected to start a rebellion called SCARF, or nearly get hit by a truck, or go unconscious for a month and a half. Fate had played a cruel, many tricks on her.

She had been stupid to trust someone so much after knowing him for only four months. None of her other friends would have ever slapped her like that—not Yuffie, not Roxas, not Olette.

And he had been so mad at her! He yelled at her, pushed her away, and slapped her! Was he even her friend anymore?

"Like I care," Kairi sniffled defiantly, even though she knew that was far from the truth.

Her gaze fell upon the picture of Sora on her bedside table, and for a second she was tempted to throw it against the wall, like Sora had done with the picture of his father, but then she would probably cut herself with all the shattered glass and she already had enough blood on her.

She turned over only to see the vase filled with pink and red letters. She sat up and looked at it. Even if it was from Sora, a little message might make her feel better.

She removed a piece of paper from the vase and opened it.

Love seeketh not itself to please,

Nor for itself hath and care;

But for another gives its ease,

And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

So sang a little clod of clay,

Trodden with the cattle's feet;

But a pebble of the brook,

Warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only self to please,

To bind another to its delight:

Joys in another's loss of ease,

And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite.

Kairi read it over again. One thought love was meant to make people happy and kind, the other thought it was meant to destroy and be selfish. It was clear which side Kairi was on as she ripped the poem up into little pieces, took down the other one on the board and ripped that one too.

After all, if friendship gave her so much despair, she couldn't imagine what horrors love could bring.

"""

Kairi woke up in the morning feeling horrible. Her cheek, though no longer burning, was still filled with a horrible pain—a reminder of Sora's horrible treatment towards her.

She walked over to the window and opened the curtains. The sun stung her eyes—so much so that she had to shut them again. She felt like doing nothing but lying in the dark for the rest of the day, hoping that Yuffie could find a way to get out of her house with all the overdue homework she had and visit her and cheer her up.

If Sora came, she'd just pretend to be asleep so he'd go away.

"""

By the end of the day, Kairi hadn't eaten, gone outside, or even downstairs. She tried to read a book but her mind wasn't focused on novels that day. So she just lied on her bed, thinking.

But a thought was now burning in her head.

Oh, how she hated Sora.

Perhaps it was her defensive side that was saying it—maybe her now-swollen cheek. But somewhere, deep inside, there was this huge hate. He'd built her up just to tear her down. Which person was he—the person who slapped her or the person who was kind, caring, and gentle?

And deeper and deeper, Kairi couldn't help but feel sad for the boy, simply hurt by what he did to her, and more than anything wanted all to be forgiven.

Who was she?

Kairi sat up and looked at the vase. It was now the end of the day. She could read one poem.

Kairi wanted to believe it was just so she could tear it up, but she knew it was just so she could force herself to believe that Sora was the caring person that had made all these poems for her.

She opened the poem that was now in her hand, trembling in confusion.

The night has a thousand eyes,

And the day but one;

Yet the light of the bright world dies

With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes,

And the heart but one;

Yet the light of a whole life dies

When love is done.

- d a y j u a n a: Too excited? What's to be excited about? I'm sad! No, just kidding. Excited is good. Thanks for reviewing!

Valor999: Sorry that it's sad! Thanks!

FallArbor: Okay…where to start with this one? There are a lot of things to reply to. (Laughs a little) Thank you for all the compliments. I'm glad you've liked it until this point…Well, technically last point. Sorry. Actually, Sora's dad was never meant to die until the very last moment when my head was about to explode with fluffiness. It was actually Kairi's mom or dad who I was thinking about killing off, but I couldn't kill Mrs. Ire off because she's, like, the most awesome character in this entire story. And I couldn't kill Mr. Ire off because what has he ever done to me? (Technically, Mr. Roma didn't do anything to me either, but whatever…) And it wasn't meant to happen for a bonding point. The real reason I did it, and sorry if the truth disappoints anyone, is just because I was way too tired about writing about fluff. And when I mean way too tired, I mean WAY TOO TIRED. I couldn't stand it anymore and I couldn't wait for the Kill Me chapter so I just killed him off. So there you go. Loads of spoilers, but oh well. (And that also explains this chapter too.) Thanks and thanks for reviewing!

Kinotolian: No, he doesn't, as I have accidentally proved in this chapter. And sorry, but this isn't the New Years' chapter. However, at the end of this it's December 28th…wait, 27th. Never mind. Thanks for reviewing!

LOTRchic: THAT was a sad chapter? Oh, right, Sora's father died. I keep forgetting and that is so weird because I just finished writing this, and I'm responding to all these reviews talking about Sora's father's death. Wow, am I off today! Well, anyway, I'm glad you think I'm a good writer. Thanks a lot for reviewing!

Angelofsweetness: Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! (Whoa, I had a lot to thank you for in this, didn't I?) Well, anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I like it when people enjoy my stories. It just makes me…I don't know…happy that it makes them happy. Or sad, in this case, but it gives me sort of a pleasant feeling. Anyway, sorry if I went sappy for a minute there! Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I have a new reader!

MOOnlite-dUSk: Oh, my non-warnings must be pretty unnerving, huh? Sorry about that. Yay! I'm glad someone feels bad for Sora's mom besides me! Thanks for reviewing!

Doortolight57: I'm sorry that I made you cry! I'm also sorry that it pleases me in a way that I can actually make people cry without insulting them. It's okay. I get that a lot, along with "OMG! I wish I was Kairi!" Thanks and here's your update!

Rahi-1: Yeah, I know, the last chapter sucked. I mean, DIDN'T suck. (Looks at your review again where it says "it didn't suck") Yeah, I made this one super poetic, because I think I got high while I was writing this. Nah, just kidding. This is actually, really, my favorite chapter to write so far. No one said you were crying! It's just that everyone else say they were. I bet they're lying. No one actually cries while they read. (Well, except for me, and that's only in Harry Potter books. I'm weird that way.) Whoo, boy, I bet you enjoyed those messages, huh? All those people claiming they're crying! (For some reason it pleases me that I can change people's emotions without actually talking to them.) Well, thanks for reviewing!

Rikuluver: Aw, thanks! Here's your update!

Isler: Yeah, it was. I would too. I'm going to convince one of my friends to get me that. Of course, they'd be a bit angry to write three hundred sixty-five messages. I would never be able to write that many! Where I got that idea…Well, I don't know. I wanted something real. I didn't want them to just give each other electronics and stuffed animals and stuff. (Even though I wouldn't mind getting those.) Kairi got Sora an album, so Sora got Kairi this vase filled with cool little message/poem things. Well, thanks for reviewing!

Zestychicken2: Oh, why him? Well, mainly because Kairi usually has to go through everything, but still…why him? I know, I put in that little hint so people at the end will go "oh…that makes sense." Thanks! I'm glad you liked the vase…thing. You're actually going to give a friend a vase? Good luck with that! I would never be able to write three hundred sixty-five messages. But an album isn't a bad idea. (My sister made one for her friend, Alex, on her birthday.) Sorry I haven't used Riku much. I know you can be a bit…excited when it comes to him. I don't want to end this either, but if I don't, it'll just keep going on and on and on…also, I have to start writing a Roxiné soon. So gotta make room! I'm really, seriously happy that you like my writing! Yeah, that would be depressing…Thanks for reviewing!

Spam Hearts Zexion: Yeah, it's not…It's kind of sad, how he has to deal with everything himself. Thanks for reviewing!

KiaraFay: You're crying? Well, at least you're not the only one. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing and here's your update!

Inspire-Illuminate: You did? That's great! Yeah, good thing! Thanks, I like the little vase thing too. In fact, that's basically why I named this chapter that. Thanks so much and here's your chapter!

Malcolm Yuy: Yes! Another new reader! It's good to hear that people are looking at my title. Thanks, I like how idiotic Hayner is too. I haven't mentioned him in awhile…I guess I should. That's a good idea! Maybe I should try it. But first I need to give Riku a last name. (Racks brain) Oh well, I'll think of something. Thanks, and here's your update!

Blubber Nuggets: Yeah, no one did, not even me. Thanks! Closer and closer to some stuff and then…BAM!!! This chapter blows it away. Whoa that totally reminded me of the cleaner commercial. Easy-off BAM!!! Okay, getting a little retarded there…Sorry about that…Well, thanks for reviewing!

KeiraLoveKH: It was? It was, like, a week late or something. Thanks! I can't believe I killed someone off either. I'm really bad at killing people. That's probably why his death was so sudden and quick. Final Fantasy X is great! I doubt Sora and Kairi are going to get together soon or maybe even later than soon, so I'm depending on Tidus and Yuna. Thanks for reviewing!

Sorafanluver: Huh, I never noticed. Well, it would probably be because in Kingdom Hearts they only clarify that Sora has a mom, so everyone just goes all out on the dad. Well, that's my guess anyway. You go ahead and be excited for the Backstreet Boys CD! I'll be waiting for the Bon Jovi concert coming up in December which I am going to! (Yay!!!) Sorry, I got off subject too. I just love music, including Backstreet Boys, and Bon Jovi is my favorite. Thanks for reviewing!

Well, I loved this chapter for some reason. I don't know why but I just do. It pleases me. FAVORITE CHAPTER!! YEAH!

Okay, sorry, being weird again.

Thanks for all your encouragement, everybody!

Read and review!