Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts (II), Sora, Kairi, Riku, etc. (but I suppose you already know that by now.)

Author's Note: Okay, first of all, if the words in italics are sticking to other words, kindly ignore that because that is a fault in my computer because it happens to be the oldest computer in history and constantly screws up. Second, this is NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, though the title of it is misleading, because first Hold Me, then Thrill Me, then…okay, yeah, you get the point.

Warning: Sad stuff ahead.

Quick Author Babble: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter.

Chapter 25: Kill Me

Kairi lied on her bed, looking up at the ceiling, thoughtless. Her mind was blank. Her eyes were misty and lost and red from crying so hard. She was vaguely aware of her heart pounding, and her lungs breathing, but that was all she was aware of.

Sora was dead.

Gone, vanished, just like that. And he was never coming back.

For the umpteenth time that day, Kairi's eyes filled up with tears, and she felt them slide down her cheeks. Why? Why did this have to happen? What did he do to deserve this?

Nothing. He was the most beautiful person she'd ever met.

Kairi could do nothing but blame herself. The last thing he'd ever seen her do was kiss Axel, and she'd never be able to apologize, never be able to say goodbye. He was dead.

Every time Kairi thought that she realized more and more that she would never see him again. His smile, his blue eyes, his uncanny knack to be annoying—gone.

Knock, knock.

Kairi vaguely heard that. The door creaked open, because Kairi forgot to lock it.

"Kairi?"

It was Naminé. What did she want? Couldn't she see that Kairi just wanted to be alone?

"I know your hurting," Naminé said, sitting down on the bed beside Kairi. "I know you didn't want him to die. No one wanted that. But locking yourself in your room isn't going to help."

Kairi kept wishing she would go away. Who cared what she thought? Certainly not Kairi.

"There's nothing we can do," Naminé continued. "I know that's hard to face, but it's the undeniable truth."

"I don't care!" Kairi cried suddenly. "I'm not coming out and that's final!"

"Kairi, we'll miss him too. He was a nice person. But would he really want you to be like this?"

No, he wouldn't. Of course he wouldn't. He was Sora—Mr. Smile-No-Matter-What. He'd probably be soothing her right now. He'd probably be telling her it'd be alright, for her to calm down, for her to stop crying. But he wasn't. He wasn't because he was the one she was crying for.

"Tomorrow's school," Naminé said. "You've got to get some energy pumping in your blood, and some fresh air will do you some good."

"No, it won't," Kairi grumbled, stuffing her face in her pillow.

"Yes, it will. Please, Kairi."

Finally, heaving a sigh, Kairi turned to face her.

"If it'll make you go away."

"I'll vanish in no time!" Naminé said, smiling.

Kairi heaved herself up and out of bed. Naminé walked out into the hallway. Kairi changed and brushed her hair subconsciously. As she walked out of the room, she felt like her feet were weighing her down. She opened the door to the house and stepped outside, feeling half-dead.

"Oh, hi, Kairi," Olette said, who Kairi just noticed was passing her house.

Kairi's sinking feeling sunk even more as she noticed Olette had the sad glimmer in her eye as well.

"Yuffie told you?" Kairi asked.

"No," Olette said, already knowing what she was talking about. "My mom told me. She watches the news."

Kairi hung her head.

"It's terrible," Olette continued. "Out of all the people there…he had to be the one to not survive…"

Kairi was trying her hardest to contain the tears that were aching to fall.

"He was the only one who could get Hayner to shut up, you know," Olette said with the smallest giggle.

"I can't…I don't…" Kairi said, shaking her head, "I don't understand why…"

The tears were falling rapidly now, and Kairi felt like she didn't have the strength to wipe them away.

"Why did it have to be Sora?" she sobbed.

"Kairi…" Olette said comfortingly, patting her friend on the back. "No one wanted it this way. It just sort of…happened. We'll all miss him."

Her voice had a note of sadness to it. Kairi couldn't stand it. She raced down the sidewalk, tears sliding down her face, pushing past all the people who got in her way. There was a particular person, though, that she ran right into.

"Whoa, there!"

Two arms reached out and caught her before she fell to the pavement. Kairi stood up again and looked up at the person venomously, but froze as she noticed the silver-haired boy standing in front of her. Odd. Had she ever run into Riku on a busy road before? She scanned her memory and realized she hadn't.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice reaching the highest level of softness it could reach, which wasn't very high.

"Y-Yeah," Kairi said, wiping away a few tears.

"I heard what happened…I mean, I saw it on the news…and, you know, it was…I mean…sorry," Riku stuttered, looking down at the pavement.

Kairi looked at him inquisitively. Riku was stuttering? This was so weird! He was so out of character that she was temporarily silent.

"It's okay," she replied. "Actually, it's not. It's terrible. And the last thing he saw me do was…"

"Kiss Axel," Riku said, nodding. "Yup, I know."

Kairi shivered. How did he do that? It always freaked her out.

"I really can't imagine me and Riku being friends."

Sora's voice echoed through her head, making Kairi jump and look around nervously.

"Listen, Kairi…" Riku said, "I know you cared about Sora a lot…and I know you can't imagine moving on…and probably, you're wondering why everyone else isn't a wreck like you are right now…"

"Only Yuffie," Kairi replied honestly, "and even she couldn't compare…to what I'm feeling right now…"

"But as long as you keep him in your heart forever, you won't have to move on," Riku continued. "Just, maybe, continue with your life."

"That is moving on!" Kairi shrieked, voice suddenly at top level. "You don't understand! No one understands!"

She ignored all the people who were walking down the street, who were looking at her as if she was insane. Maybe she was insane—she didn't care. She didn't care what any of them thought.

It suddenly occurred to her what Riku had said:

"And probably, you're wondering why everyone else isn't a wreck like you are right now…"

Why wasn't everyone else a wreck like she was? The closest person to come to tears was Yuffie. The most she did, however, was yell at Goofy with the utmost rage for mentioning Sora, which probably resulted in tears for the little boy. She knew the boys would never cry (well, maybe Roxas, but that would probably be one tear only), Olette hadn't seemed half as sad as she was that morning, and Naminé…she wasn't crying either. The most she seemed to care about was to get Kairi out of her room.

"No one cares," she mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Wrong," Riku said, who took Kairi by surprise because he hadn't spoken for quite awhile.

Kairi looked up at him. Tears were starting to fall from her eyes again.

"They're extremely sad, I hope you know," Riku said.

"Well, they don't show it," Kairi sniffled miserably.

"Of course they don't!" Riku stated. "If they start crying and mentioning it left and right wouldn't you feel absolutely miserable? They're holding it in because they're frightened. Sometimes, the thought of never seeing someone again scares them. They get nightmares and stuff. And death…everyone's scared of that. They feel if they go outright with their feelings, they might break down and 'embarrass' themselves. It's the way people are. No one wants to show their true feelings, because they're frightened of themselves and what others might think."

Kairi thought over these words before looking up at him.

"Then why don't I hide them?" she asked.

"Because you learned the hard way," Riku replied. "The more you hold it in, the more damage you do to yourself."

Kairi couldn't quite explain it, but she swore his eye twinkled a little at that last part. Was this some sort of life lesson?

"It's not fair!" Kairi choked in a sort of whisper-yell. "Why did it have to be him, out of all those people on the train? Why did anyone have to die at all? Why couldn't…why couldn't…"

She fell forward into Riku's arms, feeling a torrent of tears rushing down her face.

"It's okay, Kairi…"

Riku's voice did not seem like his own—at least, not in Kairi's opinion. The cold voice seemed to have melted, revealing a kind, caring person, who Kairi hadn't seen for years.

"He's still here, Kairi. And if SCARF succeeds then he'll be back to normal in no time."

Kairi smiled for a fleeting second. Maybe…SCARF did succeed.

"If Riku was friendly before, he's probably still it got it in him."

The smile was gone in a flash. Sora had said that to her. It was Sora's voice that was saying these things. Was that all he was now? Just a voice in her head?

Kairi couldn't accept it. She'd really thought that maybe, possibly, she and Sora would be friends for a longer time than this.

"Maybe…I shouldn't have become so close to him," she said. "Maybe, like Naminé said before, we shouldn't have been friends. Just continued as always…Me following Naminé around like an idiot and Sora getting bullied all the time…"

"That's stupid," Riku snorted.

And here comes the cold shell again, Kairi thought with a frown, backing away from him as if suddenly disgusted that she'd fallen into him.

"I mean," Riku began hastily, "that if you'd done that, you wouldn't have got to know him at all, and knowing him for a short period of time is better than not knowing him at all, right?"

Kairi looked at him. She wondered what went on in Riku's head. Did he always have an answer for everything?

"Yeah…" she said slowly.

"Tomorrow will be better," Riku concluded finally. "Your friends will be there for you, no matter what."

And with that, he turned and walked away. Kairi felt too tired to stop him.

Stupid genius.

"""

"I'm glad you've decided to come to school, Kairi," Mrs. Ire said cheerfully the next morning, placing bread in the toaster. "You certainly seem a lot better about…" She paused as her face turned a sickly green. "About, well, you know, his unfortunate accident."

Everyone had seemed more and more reluctant to say Sora's name these days. In fact, they tried to stay off the subject as much as possible.

"Yeah, well, I've got to keep up in my studies!" Kairi chirped as cheerfully as she possibly could.

"That's my girl," Mr. Ire stated, taking a gulp of coffee and flipping the page of the newspaper he was reading. "Good education leads to a better future."

"We know already, Dad," Naminé stated, rolling her eyes and spreading butter on her toast. "You can stop repeating yourself."

Mrs. Ire still seemed to be deep in thought as she waited for Kairi's toast to pop up. The tiniest tinge of green was still noticeable on her cheeks.

"He was such a nice boy," she stated almost absentmindedly.

Time seemed to freeze. No one had mentioned Sora so directly in the Ire household since the train crash.

"Mom…?" Naminé said, bewildered.

"I mean, he was always so helpful and I can't help but think he was really close to our family," Mrs. Ire said, turning to look at her husband and daughters very seriously. "I feel like we owe him something."

Kairi felt grateful for her mother's words even though she was hastily avoiding Sora's name. Mrs. Ire was feeling the same feeling as she was about Sora's death, but it was a lot weaker. However, Mrs. Ire's pale blue eyes shone with a sort of determination.

"We should check with the hospital," she said.

"What do you mean, Riley?" Mr. Ire asked slowly, as if he was talking to someone insane.

"He's not dead," Mrs. Ire replied firmly.

The whole family was looking at her with wide eyes. It was completely silent besides the occasional, demanding mewing of a hungry Truda.

"Mom, are you feeling okay?" Naminé asked weakly.

"How are you so sure about this, Mom?" Kairi asked, ignoring Naminé's question swiftly.

"I'm…not quite sure," Mrs. Ire replied, as if far off. "I just…have this feeling…"

Kairi exchanged looks with Naminé. Both girls were rather spooked about how their mother was acting. Finally, after a few moments, Kairi established what she just said. She thought Sora was alive? It was so insane she felt like she just had to believe it.

"Riley…" Mr. Ire said in that we-need-to-talk tone of his.

"I'll look into it after school," Kairi interrupted quickly.

Everyone looked at her as if she was insane too. Kairi shrugged at Naminé's bewildered stare. Mr. Ire coughed loudly, suggesting they should get off topic.

"You two are going to be late for school," he said, looking at Naminé and Kairi.

"Oh, Kairi, your toast!" cried Mrs. Ire, snapping up and taking out two very black pieces of bread. "Oh no, it's all burnt…"

"It's okay, Mom, I can get a snack from the vending machine," Kairi said, chugging down her orange juice and jumping out of her chair.

She raced to the door, slipped into her shoes, grabbed her backpack and opened the door, not even caring to wait for Naminé.

"Bye, Mom, Dad!" she shouted. "Love you!"

"Have a nice day!" Mrs. Ire chirped.

"Be good," Mr. Ire said.

Kairi raced down the sidewalk and urgently looked at her watch. If she didn't hurry, she was going to miss part of her accounting lesson in business.

"Kairi, hi!" chirped a familiar voice.

Kairi turned, distracted. Yuffie was racing up behind her, waving excitedly.

"Why are you so late?" Kairi asked.

"Goofy spilt jam on my shirt, so I had to go change, then prepare, then eat, and by then I was pretty late," Yuffie replied.

"I see."

They sprinted into the school and up to their lockers, Kairi twisting the dial impatiently, trying to remember all she could about her previous accounting lessons. But her mind was on something totally different—Sora. She remembered her promise to her mom to go to the hospital after school. And somehow she knew it would be a long day.

"""

"And that concludes our lesson on Shakespeare and his way of speech," Ms. Larxene said, looking over her class, running her hands through her wild, blond locks as the bell rang. "You're dismissed."

Kairi gathered her books on literature and sighed. She hadn't listened to the whole lesson and taken absolutely no notes at all. She was going to fail literature this year, she just knew it.

However, it was the end of the day and Kairi could finally go check with the hospital about Sora's death. But now, in the pit of her stomach, she realized she might not like she was about to hear. Her mother, though usually a reliable source, could've easily been mistaken—something that farfetched never happened, except on TV. It would be a miracle if Kairi even got to see his body.

As she trudged out of school, rather happy when she didn't meet with any of her friends along the way, she felt gloomier and gloomier until she was absolutely positive that it was impossible. Sora was gone, and there was no way he was still alive.

The hospital wasn't a very far walk from school, but it was still rather long and boring, especially without a friend. Yet, a friend being there would only make it worse, Kairi figured. After all, a walk to the hospital to see if their friend was dead or not was not really the most cheerful trip in the world.

The thoughts Kairi received along the way weren't the greatest either, but she'd promised her mom, and there was still that little hope inside her that was telling her that when she walked through the doors, Sora would be there, smiling at her.

"""

As Kairi walked into the hospital, there was no Sora waiting for her there. Her spirits dropped, if possible, even lower. There was, however, Dr. Ryan, who was writing on his clipboard. Kairi allowed her self to smile just a bit. If there was anyone she wanted to ask about Sora's death, it was Dr. Ryan.

"Hello, Dr. Ryan," she said, her voice sounding unnatural somehow.

Dr. Ryan's amethyst eyes peeked at her over the clipboard. He put down the clipboard and gave her his usual, sunny smile. Kairi couldn't decide if it was fake or not.

"I suppose you're here to see Sora?" he asked right off the bat.

Kairi's jaw dropped.

"See him?" she asked. "You mean, you still have…" She paused suddenly. It was too realistic to say "his body". It brought far too much truth to the whole thing. "You still have him here?"

"Yes, but only for a little while longer," Dr. Ryan answered with a curt nod. "It's been hard to keep on top of things because it's been insane around here since the train crash."

"I could imagine," Kairi said softly.

"He's on the second floor, room 95," Dr. Ryan stated. "Beg your pardon, Kairi, but I've got to get to another patient."

"That's okay," Kairi replied.

As Dr. Ryan disappeared down one of the hallways, Kairi turned to where she thought was the elevator. She'd been on the first floor the last time she'd been there. As she found the elevator and stepped in, she felt a little frightened at what she might see.

"""

Kairi took a deep breath in as she looked at the bland, white door of room 95. She was suddenly reluctant about this. But she had to. She just had the feeling that she had to. She put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it open.

As she looked around the small, white room, she felt this terrible feeling of fright, hopelessness, and sadness altogether. What was she going to see?

She stopped as she saw what she was looking for.

He was on the bed, half hidden by the white sheets. His arm was in a cast and his eyes were closed, his head hanging to the side in a sort of defeated way. He still looked very much alive, though. His tanned skin hadn't gotten any paler; his chocolate spikes hadn't stuck up any less. In fact, he just looked like he was sleeping almost peacefully.

They'd tried to help him, Kairi thought, taking extra notice to the cast. He must've died in the hospital from shock or heart attack or blood loss or something.

She went up right to his side and collapsed on her knees, her eyes filling up with tears. So her mom had been wrong. She'd been hoping, deep in the depths of her heart, that he would be okay, awake, that the newswoman had made a mistake…

But that dream was all dashed away now. He was never coming back, and this proved it. Kairi burst into tears, resting her head on the mattress, hiccoughing.

"Sora…"

She said the name weakly, as if it would be the last time she would say it.

And maybe it would be the last time.

I am not a Sora-killer! Whatever that is. I swear, this is my first time, and the other times, I didn't do it on purpose!!! It was those people who killed me in the game.

"Holy fufu bunny"! I like that saying. I will keep that in my memory for further use.

Let's all take a deep breath together. In…then out…good. Again…in…then out…

It is, sadly enough, human nature.

No, I am not facing Sephiroth until I stop being scared of him. (This might take awhile, I'll tell you that much.) Also, I am waiting until I finish Final Fantasy X, and I'm well on my way since I just defeated Defender X! (He takes forever to beat! It took me, like, fifteen tries!)

On a positive note, I could try to face Sephiroth. These are the following things I have that you have suggested: Trinity Limit (yes), level 99 (I forget which level I am at, I have not played the game in awhile), and as for my weapon…Ultima Weapon. It took me forever to get, but, hey, I'm not complaining.

I know he's not. In Kingdom Hearts II he came back. I'll show him in FFVII! If I ever get it, that is…

Do not kill me because of previous and current chapter. I am only a person.

Do not blame Kairi for this. Actually, you can, now that I think about it.

I was not referring to Kairi in my previous statement.

Only one person wants Sora to remain dead, which I understand, because what the heck kind of majority would vote Sora to be dead?

Okay, thank you for your many comments…and screeches of terror/anger/sadness. This is not the last chapter, I repeat NOT the last chapter, as I have stated at the top. I will TELL you when it is the last chapter.

Thank you and goodnight!