DISCLAIMER: I don't own fma.

I Didn't Want To

Dear Roy,

I didn't want to leave you. With my body and soul, gods above, I didn't want to leave you. But I had to. You have to understand Roy. I had to.

Besides wouldn't it just look a little suspicious that I followed you? Someone would notice and then we wouldn't be able to be together. We would have been torn apart; never to see each other again. That thought makes the lump I have in my throat now hard to swallow. It's better this way.

Or not. I feel like dying. I feel like jumping off the next bridge. It hurts so much to be apart from you. In my heart I know I shouldn't have left. I should be fighting by your side, right now, at this moment. Alas I'm not. I'm in Central filing paperwork where right now you are risking your life for a reason you do not believe in – or I suppose you do. You believe this country can be a better place.

I suppose it's me who does not understand. I thought I was the one who knew you inside and out but I suppose I was wrong. I didn't understand why you gave up alchemy to fight on the front lines. I still don't.

I hope you are all right. Hayate and I are doing fine. I swear he's getting bigger everyday from all the food he scarves down. Sometimes I think that dog is a cow with four stomachs. Though I've been to the vet several times for his shots and things and never once have they said anything about him being a cow.

Before I conclude this letter I want to tell you something. I was stupid enough not to tell you before you left but your departure was so abrupt I – no – that is not a good enough excuse. I should have run after you, but even Riza Hawkeye was too dim witted to do such a thing – to do the right thing. I wanted to tell you that I love you. For such a long time I have loved you. That's all I wanted to say. I hope you find another girl – woman – who loves you as much – no – more than I do.

I love you Roy Mustang and good luck with your future, if you have one.

With Love,

Elizabeth Hawkeye

She silently slipped the carefully written letter into its envelope and sealed it with her stamp. Standing from her desk she left the room. Walking through the halls of the military quarters she received many salutes and head nods. In return she inclined her head in recognition. With her "love letter" in hand she took a stroll to the post office.

She stared at the pit of mixed letters and envelopes in the out going mail. The hand with her letter in it reached into the box. She felt the paper slip from her fingers before she saw it plop down into the bin face up with Roy Mustang's name glaring up at her. Quickly she closed the tub and hurriedly stepped out of the office to return to her own.

He stared at the name closing the letter. His Riza…

He wanted to cry, weep in front of all the soldiers sitting around the campfire with him but he resisted the urge and fingered the letter. She loved him. His heart soared but immediately plummeted back to Earth. His eyes reread the last line. "I love you Roy Mustang and good luck with your future; if you have one". If I have one? Does she expect me to die out here? What if I do? What I die before I get a chance to tell her? No. preposterous! He will NOT die out on this god forsaken land alone. He will return to her, even if she doesn't want him too.

Rizahawkeye21

A/N: This one I wrote fairly quickly. I wrote a companion story to show what happens after he receives her letter. I'll post it a while after this one, which is like 8 pages long but I have two versions going through my head. Anyway hope you like this one, however short it is. Please review.