Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own any of JK Rowling's creations.

A/N: Chapter four ended on Harry's overall low note I think. I wanted him to kind of get a chance to bond with Remus, since Remus really is his last positive link to his parents. From now on, Harry will start getting back on his feet, though of course it won't be easy. Well, I may be lying about that. He still has a ways to go, but at least he's got a fighting chance. Please keep reading and reviewing!

000000000000000000 Chapter 5: Grimmauld Place 000000000000000

Harry woke up very quickly, drawing in a gasping breath and sitting up sharply. His back ached, as did just about all of the rest of his body, and his vision was blurry.

Oh wait…he wasn't wearing his glasses…

Sheepishly, he fumbled around on the small table next to the bed he was in until he felt the familiar shape in his hand. He unfolded them carefully and slipped them onto his face, taking a rather longer amount of time than usual to get them perched on his nose. Then, he looked around himself, trying to figure out just where he was.

He was in a room, he concluded, then berated himself for his stupidity. Of course he would be in a room. Where did he expect to be? A dungeon?

So he looked around again. The bed he was in was a large four-poster, with a thick burgundy and gold duvet and lots of pillows piled around him. The walls were fairly empty, with only a few paintings of grassy fields and forests on the walls. There was one window, with the curtains closed, and there were a few candles on the dresser along the far wall.

His wand was lying on the small table where his glasses had been, and he picked it up with fumbling fingers and slipped it into the waistband of his pants. He always felt a little uneasy if it wasn't directly on his person somewhere or in his hand.

He was starting to wonder just what room this was when the door creaked open. "You're awake," Remus commented, head poking in the door. Harry smiled weakly.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Woke up a few minutes ago."

"Did you get any rest?" Remus asked, coming all the way in. He was wearing a rather shabby dressing gown and slippers.

"Some," Harry agreed. "What time is it? Where is everyone?" he asked. Remus laughed and came over to the bed. He motioned to the foot of it.

"May I?" he asked. Harry nodded.

"Sure," he said.

Remus sat down and leaned against the post behind him. "It's a little after four in the morning, I'd wager," he explained. "Everyone else is sleeping."

"How long has it been since you guys came for me?" Harry asked.

"A little over a day or so, I guess," Remus said. "You passed out on the floor a little bit after we portkeyed, and I brought you up here. You didn't wake up at all until this evening, when Madame Pomfrey—"

"She was here?" Harry asked, surprised. Remus nodded.

"She came by when she heard what happened. She gave you a few potions and then said you were coming out of it. So, I've been staying up, keeping an eye on you," Remus finished. Harry frowned.

"You didn't need to stay up to watch me, Remus. I would've been fine," he pointed out. Remus smiled sadly.

"I didn't want you to wake up alone," he admitted. Harry blushed a little, feeling stupid and childish.

"It wouldn't have bothered me. I always wake up alone," he assured Remus. To his surprise the man frowned.

"I know…" he murmured. Harry felt a little uneasy, and then he suddenly realized whose room this had once been.

"This was Sirius's room, wasn't it?" he blurted out. Remus glanced at him with sad golden eyes, and then nodded.

"It's your room now," he said softly. Harry shook his head.

"No way. He was your best friend, Remus. Even if he was my godfather, this is yours," he said stubbornly. Remus shook his head this time.

"Actually, according to the will, you're owner of the house now. He wanted you to have a home, even if he wouldn't be there in it," Remus explained.

"His will?" Harry echoed. The idea had not crossed his mind. Remus sighed.

"This really should be explained later, by Albus, but he's not here…he said he'll try…er…" Remus trailed off. Harry could tell he was hiding something, but didn't have a chance to ask about it. "Anyway, although Sirius isn't legally dead, since if he were all of his possessions would go to the ministry…him still being a convicted criminal and all…well, we've gotten a peek into his will in order to figure out what to do with everything for now. The Black family was obscenely wealthy—like the Malfoys are—and Sirius avoided using the money at all costs. So it's built up a lot."

"He left it to you, right?" Harry asked. Remus didn't have much more than a few knuts to his name, Harry knew. Because no one would hire a werewolf.

"Actually," Remus countered, "he split it into thirds—well, fourths, sort of." Remus smiled a moment. "Just about a third of his money goes to the Order, another third and all of his other assets went to me, and the last third goes to you, Harry."

"What about the last bit you were talking about?" Harry asked. Who else had Sirius left money to, he wondered?

Remus smiled and laughed a moment. "He left a single knut to someone," he explained. Harry was perplexed now.

"Who would he leave a knut to?" he asked. Remus laughed again.

"One guess, Harry," he said. "Better make it good."

"Uh—Kreacher?" he guessed. Remus laughed harder and Harry started to get a little worried.

"No, no," Remus said, swallowing his laughter for a moment. "Someone a little bigger, Harry," he hinted. Harry's eyes went wide. No way…but only Sirius would do it.

"He didn't!" he exclaimed. Remus laughed again.

"He did. He left Snape a knut. And a certain knut at that…it was the one his pet toad ate…" Remus explained. Harry couldn't help but grin. Sirius would remember to do something like that, even in a will…leave his enemy a toad-digested knut. It was great.

"I hope Snape appreciates it," Harry said, still smiling. Remus grinned.

"He gets it in a few days, by owl. I made sure to soak it in bat livers for a few days, as well," Remus explained. Harry was amazed. Usually Remus was so good about being polite and courteous, even to Snape. Perhaps Sirius's death had made Remus a little less cautious. A little less forgiving.

"I'm sure he'll keep it forever," Harry commented. Remus smiled, looking satisfied about that whole event. Then he eyed Harry.

"Your birthday's in four days now, Harry," he commented. Harry shifted.

"I figured getting out of the Dursleys was birthday enough," he said. Remus shook his head.

"No, no, we're going to have a party," he argued. "It's too risky to invite anyone over here, but there will be a few of us around…and there are a few things we'll have to discuss."

"Like what?" Harry asked, curious. Remus sighed.

"Sixteen isn't the most important birthday in the wizarding world, but a few things do change when you turn sixteen. First of all, you can start working towards your apparating license, now that they've changed the age of when you can get it, and also you are no longer a minor in a few ways. It's rather complicated, but in the end it works out so that you get a little bit more freedom than before," Remus said. "You'll see. There's a lot we have to discuss come July 31st."

"How do I get my apparating license?" Harry asked, excited. Finally, he could learn something really useful.

"Well, you have to learn from a trained auror, which won't be any problem for you, since there's usually three or four running around this place. Then you have to go before the apparation committee and demonstrate that you know how to apparate properly. There's a small written portion and a rather long practical. Just popping in and out of various places, and proper procedure for not getting spotted by muggles," Remus explained.

"How long does it take to learn to apparate?" Harry questioned.

Remus thought about it a moment. "Well, I'd say it took me about four months to get it down enough to pass the test. About a year before I could do it without any problems at all." At Harry's slightly appalled expression, he smiled. "Some people only take a few weeks before they're ready to test," he went on. "I took longer because I couldn't work on it very much—the full moon interrupted, and learning to apparate takes a lot of energy. You might be a little encouraged to know that your father learned it in about three weeks and aced the test the first time through."

Harry did feel slightly relieved. Hopefully, this would be something he'd be good at. And it would be incredibly useful in the future…which reminded him of something else… "Hey, Remus?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Remus said. He looked a little drowsy, but willing to answer any questions, so Harry went on.

"Do you think you could teach me to be an animagus?" he asked. Remus sat up a little.

"What? Why?" he asked. Harry blinked.

"Well—er—my dad was one, and so was Sirius…and I just thought it might be useful," he floundered. He was trying to come up with good solid reasons—but the real reason he wanted to be one just had to do with wanting to do something Sirius and his dad had done. Just to feel a little less separated from them.

Remus leaned back again. "I'd have to check with Dumbledore first," he said. "But then I'd be more than willing to help. I suppose McGonagall could help as well…she's very good with her cat form…"

"Wow, Remus, thanks!" Harry said, even more excited. Perhaps he could put his summer to good use…

He looked up to see Remus frowning at him. "What?" he said uneasily.

"You're not going to be doing anything strenuous like that until you've put on some weight, Harry!" Remus said sternly. Harry rolled his eyes, but Remus didn't relent. "You're severely underweight, Harry, and if I thought just for a minute that it would help, I'd get after your relatives. I can't believe they'd do that to you!"

"I kind of kept arguing with Petunia after you left that day," Harry said, feeling a little stupid. "She smacked me again and I shouted at her a lot and then she dragged me in the house and told me to stay up in my room," he explained. "Vernon came up later and yelled at me, and I yelled back…and then he hit me and when I woke up—"

"Woke up!?" Remus exclaimed. Harry blushed, looking away.

"Er—I hit the edge of my desk," he explained. "And he never did it again. I think he was scared of his own actions." Remus looked ready to kill something named Dursley. "Look—it's never been this bad before, Remus. I think things just came to a boiling point and they couldn't take it anymore. I could've kept my mouth shout as well, but I didn't. I shouted back at him and got him really angry. So they locked me in and, well, I don't think Petunia remembered to slip food to me very often."

"That's child abuse," Remus said. "Neglect, abuse, assault," he grumbled. "I'm going to have a little talk with Dumbledore about this."

"Well, as long as I don't have to even see them again until next summer I'm good," Harry said placatingly. "And I promise I'll eat as much as I can. I'll even make Mrs. Weasley proud."

Remus smiled, partially appeased. "Fine," he said. "You gain enough weight so that you don't look like a starved prisoner, and I'll help you become and animagus, and I'll find someone around here to help you learn to apparate. Deal?"

"Deal," Harry said, smiling. Remus nodded.

"Good," he said, then suddenly yawned. "Now, go back to sleep, Harry. I'm going to go catch a little sleep, and I'll see you down at breakfast, all right?"

Harry grinned. "Sure," he said. "You look exhausted, Remus. Sleep some. I'll be fine," he assured the man. Remus nodded and got up from the end of the bed, looking a little stiff.

"Good night, Harry," Remus said.

"Goodnight, Remus," Harry said in return. He watched the weary man go out the door, and then sighed. He wasn't tired anymore, and besides, in just a few hours there would be breakfast. He was feeling fairly hungry now that he thought about it.

But there wouldn't be anything to eat for a few hours, and besides that he felt too weak to even think about walking down any stairs. He did feel up to standing and perhaps tottering a few steps…

If he remembered right, there was a bathroom off of this room, with a huge bathtub. He could deal with that. Getting his hair clean again would be wonderful. He looked around the room a bit and spotted the door over to the right, half-hidden by a wall hanging. He only had to make it that far, he told himself.

He pushed himself over to that side of the bed and slowly pulled his legs out from under the covers. What he saw made him grimace.

His legs were thin and weak looking, and because of the way the boxers he was wearing rode up a little, he could see the deep purple bruise from his aunt hitting him. That also made him wonder how in the bloody hell he'd ended up in his boxers and a different t-shirt, when he most clearly did not remember traveling to Grimmauld Place that way.

Probably Remus had stripped him down, unwilling to let him sleep in the bed wearing disgusting rags. He had to be at least a little grateful for that.

He sighed, hoping Remus hadn't seen the bruise on his thigh, and then slowly pushed himself to a standing position. The abuse, starvation, nightmare-curses, and near-possession had all piled up on him, and he felt sort of like he'd been run over by a huge truck.

His knees were weak and wobbly, and he almost fell against the door as he opened it, stepping into the bathroom very slowly. He was breathing hard now from even this much exertion, and he stumbled his way over to the somehow already-waiting deep tub of warm water.

There were fresh gold colored towels folded and waiting for him, and a bar of perfectly white soap rested in a small depression along the pool-like tub's side. There was a washrag, two very ornate looking glass bottles with hair soap, and also a long-handled scrub brush. Perfect, he thought with a grin. He could get really clean now.

"All I need is a big mug of tea and some toast," he said out loud.

There was a crack, and suddenly Kreacher was there, holding a mug of tea and a plate with toast. Harry laughed. "Wow, talk about service," he commented.

The house elf kind of scuttled towards him, getting close enough that Harry could hear him speaking. "Kreacher bring tea to master," the elf muttered. "Kreacher bring toast…dragged through the dust it was…poisoned the tea…must kill evil new master…"

Harry listened with growing incredulity and anger, his smile slipping off his face, as the house elf continued its mad ramblings, meanwhile presenting him with the stone-cold tea and rather dirty looking toast. This was the house-elf that had lied and helped get Sirius killed. This was the insane and evil creature that had caused him so much—he stopped himself.

It was just a rather nutters house-elf. It couldn't possibly be held responsible for its lies. Sirius's death was Harry's fault. Not some senile house-elf's. "Erm—thanks, Kreacher," he said worriedly, slightly afraid that the thing would attack him. "Uh—"

Kreacher looked up, a particularly evil expression in his face as he pulled the toast and tea back towards his body. "I will not serve evil young master!" he snarled. "You will come to a terrible end, Master Potter! Just like Master Sirius!"

Harry felt himself getting angry again. He did not want to listen to this creature insult Sirius. "Get out, Kreacher. Please!" he shouted. The house-elf blinked and then disappeared with a crack, leaving Harry feeling angry and confused. And with the start of a new headache coming on. He'd have to ask Remus if they could please get rid of the elf. It was disturbing and dangerous to have around.

Besides, he didn't want to be poisoned right inside the Order's headquarters. That would be just too embarrassing.

He waited a bit, to be sure that he was alone, and then stripped out of his ratty boxers and t-shirt. His wand, which had been snugly tucked into the waistband of his boxers, he placed on the ground next to the clean towels. He wanted it to be close at all times.

As he walked around to the towels, he saw a short glance of himself in the mirror, and cringed at how skinny and dirty he looked. Most of the dark on his body was dirt, thankfully, but the ugly purplish patch on his left thigh was definitely not dirt.

His ribs stuck out badly, his backbone showed, and his stomach was noticeable caved in. He was starved. Definitely. He resolved to gain enough weight for it not to be obvious by the time he next saw Mrs. Weasley. He didn't want to be subjected to her feeding requirements. She would stuff him until he burst.

He slipped into the charmed-to-stay-warm water, feeling his muscles immediately relax under the warmth and release from most of gravity. He floated gently for a bit, just relaxing in the warm and soothing water, and then slowly paddled his way over to the soap.

It smelled good, sort of like…hmm…he sniffed it again…it was like Quidditch, he decided. It smelled like his broom's wood, a bit like rain, and a bit like clean fabric. Kind of nice smell, and much better than something flowery. He'd rather just use water than come out smelling like lavender or roses. Ew.

He rubbed the soap all over, rubbing the dirt off his hands and feet especially, and carefully washed where he was bruised on his ribs and thigh. His hair took three washes with similar-smelling hair soap before it came clean. It was slightly longer than he remembered, with a very slight wave. It lay flat on his head now, because it was wet, but he knew as soon as it dried it would be a mess once more.

After he was fairly sure he was as clean as he was going to get, he swam around a few more laps, feeling his leg and arm muscles loosen up even more at the light exercise. He'd spent too many days doing nothing and too many nights under painful curses or in the throes of convulsions. His body needed a little rest.

He sighed, treading water in the middle of the tub and pondering whether he wanted to get out of the perfect-temperature water.

"Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks suddenly called. Harry slipped under the water in surprise, and came up a moment later coughing and spluttering, while the young auror laughed loudly.

"TONKS!" he shouted. "What are you doing in here?" he cried out. He knew by now that his face was burning with embarrassment.

"Don't worry there," she said, still laughing. "I can't see nothing!" she assured him. Harry turned in the water so that he faced her.

"What are you doing in here?" he demanded again. "I was taking a nice bath until you came in and almost drowned me!"

Tonks laughed again. "Just thought I'd tell you breakfast's on!" she said cheerily. "Oh—and you missed a spot, Harry. There's a bit of dirt on your chin," she told him. Harry went to rub it, blushing furiously.

"I'll be out in a bit," he said. "After you leave!" He was still embarrassed and uncomfortable with the rather young auror standing at the edge of the tub that he was very starkers in.

She laughed again and turned to go. "Just be warned," she called back as she left. "If you aren't out and downstairs eating in ten minutes, Remus's said I can come up here and drag you out of the tub!"

"Go away!" he shouted.

The door closed, the auror's laughter still echoing. He hadn't realized he'd been in the tub for so long. Although he was all wrinkled up now…

Sighing, he doggy-paddled over to the edge of the tub and then looked around again. Just to be sure that Tonks really had left. He then quickly pulled himself out of the water, dripping all over the place as he hurried over to the towels and wrapped one of the huge, fluffy, and perfectly warmed towels around his waist. He used the other to rub his hair mostly dry, and then suddenly wondered just what he was going to get dressed in. There was no way he was going to wear his old nasty clothes, and he wasn't allowed to do magic so he couldn't exactly clean them.

"Should have thought of that earlier, Potter," he told himself. Either he could go through Sirius's dresser and see if there were any clothes in there that might pass for wearable, or he could go down to the kitchen in a towel and ask…but there was no way he was going down there. Not as skinny and bruised as he was. He did not want anyone that he could possibly help seeing him like this.

He went back into the bedroom and pulled open the top drawer of Sirius's dresser.

What he saw made a huge lump form in his throat.

There was a rather large photograph of his parents on top of the socks. There was a tiny baby in his mother's arms…it was him, he realized. A thin man in the picture had to be Remus, and Sirius stood smiling and waving, handsome and young, on the right edge of the picture. Even as he watched, Harry saw the photograph Sirius lean forward over his mother's shoulder and tease the little baby Harry.

He could feel tears on his face now, but he couldn't take his eyes from the picture. He was too caught up in thinking about what could have been…what could have been if his parents had lived…if Sirius were still alive. If Voldemort had not screwed up his entire life.

It always came to that. Voldemort started it. And Wormtail. They did it all. They destroyed everything, took everything from him. Left him a starved and weak teenager with no family and few trustworthy friends. It was so completely unfair.

"Damn him," he said out loud. "Damn him anyway."

"Who?" It was Remus. Harry had been standing there too long…

"Riddle. Tom…he does it all. He took everything!" Harry said angrily. Remus seemed to understand, and Harry heard him moving, coming closer.

"There isn't anything we can do about the past," the man said softly. "You just have to keep going. When Tom's stopped, then no one else will have to say that he took away everything from them."

"Except for me," Harry said. "Except for you, and everyone now. I never got a family because of him."

"That's something we have to talk about, Harry," Remus said. Harry whirled around.

"What?" he said, confused. Remus smiled.

"I wasn't supposed to say anything until your birthday, but…Sirius designated me your guardian in case of his death. Of course, I can't legally take that position because I am a werewolf, but Albus has agreed to become your official guardian in my stead," Remus explained. He looked nervous. "That is, if you want to, Harry," he added quickly.

Harry gaped. "B—but," he said. "H—I—We—Uh—" he floundered, totally overwhelmed. "Yes, I—you'd live here, right? With me, right?" he asked quickly. Remus nodded, looking relieved.

"I know I'm not Sirius, but I do like to think that we know each other well enough to live together. I was your father's friend, too, and we all promised each other we'd take care of the other's families. I've done a terrible job of—"

"No, no," Harry said quickly. "Don't you even think of blaming yourself for anything, Remus! I—I'd like to have a guardian, I really would…I—the Dursleys didn't like me much. It'd be nice to have someone that actually cared about me in charge of me…" he tried to explain. Remus frowned.

"I'd say they didn't like you," he said angrily. Harry blinked, unable to move as Remus touched a rather prominent bruise on his shoulder. "Albus has said we'll go back to get your stuff a few days after your birthday," he said. "We'll talk with the Dursleys then," he added, a dark note in his voice. Harry hoped that the Dursleys didn't behave, so Remus would have more reason to scare them. They'd deserve it.

"I don't have any clothes," Harry said, changing the subject. "That's why I didn't come down."

"Oh—uh, I'll shrink some of Sirius's stuff, if that's all right with you," Remus decided. Harry nodded, taking a pair of socks from the drawer without looking at the photograph again. He moved over to the bed, walking slowly on his weak legs, and sat down to pull the socks on.

He watched Remus paw through the drawers, pulling out some clothes and shrinking them to fit with a flick of his wand. "I'll be outside the door, Harry, so I can help you down to breakfast," the man said, before heading out the door and closing it softly behind him.

Harry stood up and slowly got dressed, happy to have clean and untattered clothes to wear. And they fit. That was probably the best part of them. It made him a little uneasy to know that he was wearing Sirius's old clothing, clothing that he would never wear again, but it also made him feel a little closer to his dead godfather. The fabric had the same smell as the soap he'd used, and he realized that Sirius probably had used that same scent of soap his whole life. He was glad he liked it as well.

When he was ready, his feet stuffed back into his shoes, he opened the door again. "Okay," he said. "I'm ready to head downstairs."

Remus looked up and smiled. "You look a lot better than you did yesterday," he commented. Harry smiled.

"I'd hope so. I hadn't had a good bath in eight days," he said. It was the wrong thing to say, as it made Remus scowl angrily. Harry sighed. "Look, I'm fine now," he said. "You guys came and got me…although I'd say sending Snape was about the worst idea anyone could have," he added, hoping to lighten the mood.

It worked, somewhat. Remus at least quit scowling. "Come on, you'd better start eating," Remus said.

"Kreacher came by earlier when I asked for tea and toast," Harry tried again to lighten the mood. "He muttered something about poisoning the stone-cold tea and dragging the toast through some dust, and then wouldn't even hand it over. Just kept it and disappeared."

Remus laughed, and Harry felt relieved. He didn't want Remus fuming the rest of the day because of his stupid relatives. "That's Kreacher," he said.

"Can we get rid of him?" he asked hopefully. "He's really creepy, and I don't want him around insulting Sirius."

Remus sighed, then put a hand on Harry's arm to steady him as they went down the stairs. "Dumbledore's trying to find a way to get rid of him…but it's looking more and more like we'll have to just give him clothes and let him kill himself. Or attack us or whatever. He's too dangerous to keep here much longer, so something has to be done. Especially with you here. We weren't sure he'd even let you be the new master…we were worried he'd try to kill you or something."

"Well he did poison the tea, I think," Harry pointed out. Remus sighed.

"I'd advise not eating anything he gives you, or anything at all that you haven't got the cook's assurances about. Tonks and Kingsley cook most everything here. So check with them before you eat anything you don't seen anyone else eating," Remus said. Harry nodded.

They came into the kitchen then, and Harry saw that Tonks, Bill Weasley, Kinsley Shacklebolt, and Hestia Jones were all sitting at a table, eating their way through eggs, sausage, hash browns, and bowls of oatmeal. "Hullo, Harry," Bill said with a nervous grin. "Er—you feeling better now?" he asked. Harry reddened a little. The last time they'd seen him, he was curled up on the floor and shaking like a leaf. Not exactly the hero of the wizarding world then.

"Fine," he said. "I was really tired, and I guess the portkey trip just pushed me too far," he explained. He did not want to tell them what he heard when he landed in the dark, feet slamming to the ground just like then…just like the very few moments before Cedric had been murdered in front of him.

He sat down at the table in order to distract himself with the food in front of him. It was hot and smelled wonderful, and he started to eat quickly. His stomach was begging for food.

He heard the others start to eat again, and glanced up once to see that Remus was eating now and reading the Daily Prophet. All too soon, his stomach started to protest against the good food, and he had to stop. He looked down and realized he'd barely eaten anything. A piece of toast, probably five forkfuls of eggs, two links of sausage, and only a third of the potatoes in front of him. He'd have to stretch his stomach out again before he could eat normally.

He looked up as he set his fork down, and saw that Shacklebolt, Hestia, and Bill had all finished and were now watching him. Tonks was busy flicking a piece of egg at Remus and giggling, while Remus was pretending he didn't notice and finishing up the newspaper. "Er—" Harry said, uncomfortable with all the attention. "So, uh," he tried.

"Well, we're not exactly allowed to go anywhere until the beginning of August or so, when we get to pay your relatives a nice little visit," Bill said slowly. "Until then, it's pretty much sit tight and wait for news. Kinsley, Hestia, and I have to head out for the next three or four days, but Remus and Tonks will be here."

"Okay," Harry said. "I can just use some of the books in the library to do my homework," he added.

"Didn't you already have it finished?" Remus spoke up. Harry turned towards him

"I didn't want to do it all until I got my OWL results," he admitted. Remus frowned.

"You didn't receive them?" he asked.

"That's all right, Remus," Kinsley spoke up. "Albus mentioned something about holding them until he could hand deliver them. Don't want them intercepted." Remus stopped frowning.

"I didn't hear about that," he commented.

"Albus just mentioned it in passing. I don't think he thought it a very important issue, considering," Kinsley said. Remus nodded.

"Well, I guess you'll get them—" he began.

"Eventually," Hestia cut in, glaring at Remus for a moment. Harry wondered what they were all covering up, but didn't ask. He didn't want to receive the full runaround.

"I'm going to go look for some books, okay?" he said. "I'll be upstairs in bed reading, I figure," he told them. He didn't wait for their response before slowly and laboriously pushing himself up from the chair. He was feeling stiff again, but the food made him feel stronger. He wasn't dizzy and faint, which was a huge improvement.

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He heard a soft knock on the door and looked up. "Come in," he said quickly. He folded closed the book he'd been reading through and set it aside.

Remus came in the door. "Thought I'd bring you some lunch," the man explained, gesturing slightly with the tray he carried. Harry smiled.

"Wow. Lunch brought to me," he commented. "I must be getting spoiled."

"There isn't much else to do around here," Remus said, rolling his eyes. He set the tray down next to Harry on the bed, then once again sat at the foot, leaning on the same post as earlier that morning.

"This looks good," Harry complimented, surveying the hot chicken noodle soup, half ham sandwich, glass of milk, and vegetables. Remus smiled.

"Thanks, but I just carried it. Hestia and Tonks did it all," he admitted. Harry laughed, remembering something he'd noted at breakfast. He glanced at Remus.

"You do know Tonks fancies you, don't you?" he teased. Remus actually blushed a little.

"I don't know what you're talking about Harry, and you'd better start eating before I tell her that you didn't like what she made," the man threatened. Harry laughed again, but eagerly started in on the soup. "You might want to know that Kingsley has promised to teach you how to apparate in a week or so," Remus commented. Harry almost choked on his soup as he looked up.

"That's great!" he exclaimed. "Is he around? I'd like to thank—"

"He's already gone," Remus said. "Along with Hestia and Bill. Tonks headed out to do a few things. She'll be back soon," Remus added. Harry nodded.

"I found a few books on animagi in the library," he admitted, showing Remus the book he'd been reading. "I kinda wanted to get a start on that."

Remus laughed. "Your father was just as eager to be an animagus," he remembered. Harry smiled…but it faltered as he remembered his father…torturing Snape, humiliating him in front of everyone…he'd rather think of his mother. She seemed to be untouched by hate and arrogance. She was still perfect. Not even Snape could hate her.

Remus must have seen his fallen expression, because he read it perfectly. "Look, Harry," he said softly. "Just because you saw one memory where your father and Sirius acted like complete gits doesn't mean that that's all they were. Professor Snape was just as cruel…he even went after Lily a few times, I think…try to imagine it kind of like you and Ron and Hermione and your feud with Draco Malfoy."

"But he's a rotten git!" Harry objected. Remus smiled.

"See?" he pointed out. "That's what we felt like. Admittedly, Sirius really was the one that started it all, picking him out our first year, but by third it was pretty obvious that Severus would do anything to get us expelled, or killed. And the only reason Sirius ever picked Severus in the first place was because he seemed to be exactly what his parents would have wanted in a son. Sirius's home life here, though probably not as bad as yours with the Dursleys, was pretty bad. It made him rather dark and definitely dangerous at times."

Harry sighed. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't his dead father be left alone now that he was dead and gone? Harry knew his father was brave and selfless at the end—he heard his last words much too often. His father had stood between him and death, as had his mother. They were not selfish or arrogant then. Perhaps Remus was right…Snape was such a sour git anyway…

But his fear was that his father and Sirius had made Snape that way. And now the tortures his father had helped to visit upon Snape were being done unto him…by their victim. Snape had so much power over him, as his Professor, that it didn't seem fair. But perhaps it made up for the numbers: four marauders against one lonely little Slytherin.

"Deep thoughts, Harry," Remus's voice broke in. Harry blinked and smiled, realizing he'd stopped eating, the sandwich half-eaten and resting against his closed mouth at the moment.

He smiled sheepishly and took another bite. "Look—I wouldn't dwell on it too much, Harry," Remus continued. "Some of the things James did were pretty awful, but I was there, and I remember what it feels like to be that age. Things look different then. But whatever we did, it has nothing to do with you, Harry. So don't think that it's your fault, or that you have to pay for his sins, for our sins, even if Professor Snape blames you. He can't see you beyond James."

"I just wish I could hold onto the image of my parents that I used to have. All I had were their last words…and they were so selfless, so unconcerned with their own lives…they weren't cowards or arrogant or anything," Harry finally admitted. Remus sighed.

"I don't know how to make you feel better, Harry. I've never had a child around…all right, a young man," he corrected, seeing Harry's slightly insulted expression. "It's hard to know what to say, and honestly your troubles are a lot worse than most teenagers."

"Thanks," Harry said jokingly. "Glad to know there's something else abnormal about me," he added. Like many of the things he said, this one caused Remus to frown.

"You're not abnormal, Harry," Remus said. Harry looked away, uncomfortable.

"Yeah," he agreed halfheartedly. "Thanks for lunch, Remus," he said quickly, changing the subject. "I'm going to finish reading some, and then I'll be down to help make dinner," he offered. Remus nodded and stood up.

"I'm not much of cook, so you might have to do it all," Remus admitted. Harry laughed.

"No wonder you're so thin. Can't cook and you live alone," he teased. Remus laughed.

"You'd better remember that if we end up here at Grimmauld Place together. You'll be cooking all day long," Remus threatened. Harry laughed, and Remus took the tray and went to leave. "I'll see you downstairs at five, Harry."

"Thanks again, Remus," Harry said, then watched silently as Remus went out the door and closed it behind him. Then he returned to his books whole-heartedly.

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A/N: This chapter got much longer. Fourteenish pages. I'm getting much better. Now just to keep them consistent. I'm really on a roll now, and the next chapter is practically leaping onto the screen. Except for the fact that it's freakin' late and I have classes tomorrow…and my hmwk isn't all done…sigh. Well, as usual I'd love reviews…this is a lot of work, so any encouragement or even criticism is helpful. It makes this that much more fun. –Miss Laine