Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island, or any of the characters. I do own the plot of the fic.
I think I forgot this in the last chapter: Fanfic rated for blood, swearing, and some sexual themes. Rating may or may not go up, it depends.
The room is nice, just like the rest of the place. It has two beds in it, a TV, and a mini fridge. Way better than those crappy cabins-- they wouldn't even let me have my laptop! I mean, I knew it said that in the application form, but I thought 'No Technology' was a small sacrifice for finding my dream girl.... And find her I did. She just, you know, wasn't all for the Codemeister. But, hey, she wants Trent. I guess Trent is better than most of the other guys. As long as she's with someone she loves... But still...
I sigh in response to my thoughts. "What's wrong?" Noah asks. I blink when I realize he's staring at me. Why would he be staring at me? I mean, he must have something better to do that just show me around. Or maybe not. The most interesting person here is Izzy, and she can be pretty creepy. Who knows how weird her room looked?
"Nothing..." trying to change the subject, I ask, "Have you been living here?" And he nods. I find that odd. The place doesn't look lived-in at all. In fact, other than the laptop on the desk and the stack of books at the foot of the bed, the room might as well be unoccupied. There are no pictures of family and friends, no posters of actors or singers he likes, no signs of Noah's individuality what so ever. Nada. Zero. Nothing.
I walk (or rather, roll in my wheelchair) over to the stack of books and pick up the one of the top stack. "Greek Mythology". I pick up the next one, which reads "The Historical Tale of Atlantis". The next is As Simple As Snow by Gregory Galloway, then Amandine by Adele Griffin...
"A mythology book, a book about some Goth girl who disappears, and a book about friendship between two girls with emotional problems?" I say, because I've been assigned to read these books by one teacher or another, "Why do you read these?"
Noah shrugs, "They interest me," seeing I wanted him to elaborate, he said, "I like things that are... different."
"What'cha mean by 'different'?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." he smirks and sits on his bed. There's an awkward silence as I contemplate what the heck that could mean.
"I think the Greeks had a weird history." I say, pulling over the Greek mythology book, trying to end the awkwardness. Certain pages in the table of contents are highlighted. I flip to the first one, "Aphrodite?"
"What? I don't seem the type to be interested in the goddess of love, lust, and beauty?"
"It's just weird is all." I put the book back, "Hey, speaking of weird, where's Izzy?"
"Probably in her room, doing crazy girl things." he shrugs.
"Can I go see her?"
"Am I stopping you?" he arches one eyebrow without the other. Cool. I wish I could do that.
"No, I just... Well..." I kind of want Noah to come with me to Izzy's room. She scares me, honestly. She's freaking crazy! I was just wondering what she was doing. I can be curious like that. But that doesn't mean I'm not scared.
"What, do you need me to protect you?"
"No," I try to sound cool and manly, "I don't need protection from anything! I can brave the scariest thing you can think of!"
Noah seems to stifle a laugh, "Okay, whatever you say, honey. But I've seen some pretty awful things."
I realize I've moved my wheelchair way too close to him. So close, our faces are practically inches away, and I can't help noticing he's smiling seductively. I know, that word makes it sound like he's coming on to me, but it's the only word I can think of. I gulp. Noah kind of laughs, his hand brushing mine lightly. I wonder how the mood changed so quickly-- weren't we just talking about books? Something totally normal? Now everything feels odd.
"Awful things like..." I signal for him to move on "Just... Things," I think he means to sound casual, but it sounds more like this is a subject he doesn't want to talk to me about.
"Can't you tell me?" Noah looks up at me from under his bangs. Oh my God, I think, and my heart skips a beat. I suddenly realize how good-looking Noah is.
How didn't I notice him before? How didn't I see his gorgeous, long hair and chocolaty brown eyes? The look in said eyes makes me blush. It's an intense look, like he's studying me, looking me up and down. If he had been a girl, I would say he's checking me out, his eyes looking the same as they did during our kiss on the Island, right before he screamed. I swallow, knowing the only way to describe it is... is... lust. A boy is lusting me. A guy, a dude, a male, is looking at me (another boy, mind you) like he wants to jump my bones. And guess what? I.... kind of like it.
"No. I can't." he says, putting his hands on mine. My heart flutters. I start shaking.
The look in his eyes is doing more for me than Gwen ever did. Some part of me wonders what it would be like.... be like for him to... to touch me. Not just touching my hands, but I mean to /really/ touch me. Like, all over. I suddenly want his hands to go up my arm. Just for a second. Just one second of him on me. My eyes trail down to his mouth. The same curious, confused part wonders what it'd feel like for him to kiss me. My breath comes faster. I imagine him leaving a trail of kisses across my whole body. Touching me, feeling me-- Shit! What in hell am I thinking? I mean, what the fuck? Was I seriously just wishing he would jump me? Was I seriously just thinking about getting, um, intimate with another boy?
Embarrassed and failing to think of anything clever to say, I clear my throat and ask, "Weren't you taught about personal space as a kid?"
"Weren't you taught not to approach bears in the woods?" he leans back to his normal, half-crouched sitting position, crossing his arms. My hands ache, and it's like my body is screaming for him to come back.
I can't tell if he's joking or not. Was he just fucking with me, or did he feel the way I just felt? He breathes deeply and shakes his head, grabbing a book on Atlantis and opening to a random page. Just like that. Just like that, he's totally normal again, reading a book. Like none of that sexual tension just happened. I don't like the idea of being in "sexual tension" with another dude, but that's the only word that can fit what just happened. My eyes narrow in frustration. I'm about to ask him what just happened, but he speaks.
"What?" he asks, looking up. All my former confidence and anger bursts. That happens a lot, actually. I'll be mad and ready to yell at somebody, then something happens and I'll become all mousy and guilty, like I really did just explode with anger, even though I didn't. Stupid kind nature, I curse myself.
"N-nothing." I squeak. I notice there's a CD player with a few CDs on the desk. There are a bunch of artists I don't recognize-- Tool, XTC, The Runaways, Korn.
"I see you're stalling by looking at my CDs?" he sighs, "Fine. I'll come with you to Izzy's room."
"Uh-huh," I look at the music, curious. I look up at him, "Can I listen to some of your music?"
"I--" he stops, looking into my eyes, "Okay." he smiles.
I smile excitedly and continue looking through the music. I decide to listen to the Korn CD. Before listening to the band, I faintly hear Noah say "So cute." I look at him, my head tilted to the side in confusion like Lindsay's always is after Chris explains the challenge. Was he talking about me? No, I decide, No he isn't... He can't be...
I think I understand the words to the song, until the lead singer goes into a huge... Strange part. It's like he's speaking in tongues. Noah has some weird musical taste. Most of the song's titles imply they're about sex, murder, suicide, dark themes like that. But there are a few that sound nice... Maybe not "nice", but not as dark. It's not just one genre; there's Gothic rock, emo, pop, a whole bunch. The pop music is even a little evil! Mostly from the eighties and nineties, which explains why I've never heard of the bands before.
Once the song is over, Ezekiel, the home-schooled boy, runs into our room. He had been eliminated for making those sexist comments about girls, I remember. I remember talking to Noah about it afterward, actually.
We were standing outside the cabin after everyone was sent out of the Dining Hall. We had been standing right next to each other. I barely knew Noah, but I decided to make small talk anyway. Make a new friend, you know? "What's with that guy? Who says stupid things like that? And when his team is mostly girls!"
"Actually, there are more guys on their team than girls. So I'd say unless one of the guys suddenly has a crush on Courtney, or suddenly hates Ezekiel, he's safe. Women are useless anyway." Noah looked up absent-mindedly into the sky and shrugged.
"Useless? Not to be shallow or anything, but they're hot and sexy!" "What's useful about that?" Noah leaned against the railing. I furrowed my brow in confusion, "What do you mean by that?"
"I simply... don't... like women, all that much." he shrugged.
"Uh, okay..." a sudden thought occurred to me, "Are you saying... That doesn't mean... You're not saying you're, uh, queer or anything, right?"
Noah crossed his arms, "I didn't say that."
"So you're straight." I said.
Noah gave me that cynical smirk of his, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey."
I hadn't even remembered that moment until now... Funny how seeing one person can make you remember certain things. You know that phrase 'You just answered one question, and raised a dozen more'? That's how I feel now, minus the 'answered a question' part.
"Noah! You need to help me, eh!" Ezekiel's heavy Canadian accent brings me back into reality.
Noah groans, sounding like he's helped Ezekiel before and is sick of it, "Again?" then he calls over his shoulder, "I'll be right back, Cody." Once he's left, the room feels weird... A really bad weird, like the whole atmosphere's shifted. I want nothing more than to go get Noah and drag him back here. I want his presence, I want to be just plain with him more than anything.
I roll my wheel chair over to the bed that is now mine. That feeling never happened before around a guy. I get plenty of these feelings around girls, but not guys! Whenever I see guys, it's like, whatever, you know? But around hot girls, (and now Noah) I'm starting to get that fluttery feeling in my stomach and-- Gah! I know I'm not making much sense, but nothing makes sense anymore! Is this what reality shows are always like? Is there something in the water up here in Canada? Or am I just thinking about this too much? Maybe not thinking enough?
I shouldn't have these feelings around Noah! Okay, Codster... I tell myself, It's your over-active imagination again. Remember when you thought your neighbor killed his sister and buried her, then you dug up the grave site and realized it was a cat? It's like that. It's not like you want to kiss him or anything. You're not gay. Think about how hot Gwen and Courtney are, or Heather, or Lindsay! I sigh. I'm too injured and tired and confused to get into the bed, so I just lay on top of the blankets. I try so hard to forget Noah. So hard. I decide to count the amount of times I'd slipped and fell in the cafeteria this year at high school, just to get him off of my mind... I get up to about twenty three before I am asleep.
It's not too hard. Just click the button. Write, even if it's just one sentence. And I post the next chapter. It's the circle of fan fiction.