Sorry about how long it took me to do this!! I'm such a horrible woman -- please forgive your absent-minded author!
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The door opened, that bastard standing there with a box in his hand.
"She's not here."
"I know."
"Then why the hell are you here?"
"Dropping off some of her things." Victor put the box down on the kitchen table and stood there for a moment, staring at the contents.
"Why?"
"Why what?" he grumbled.
"Why'd you do that to her?" I couldn't believe how angry I was getting… but after all, I was getting blamed for this, so why not know the truth?
"Because she doesn't love me." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to get married, have kids, but I know I'm not the one she wanted."
"That's bullshit."
Victor sat down at the kitchen table, his eyes staring through me. "She talked about you all the time."
"She grew up with Al and me. They're just stories."
"No. She talked about you. Everyday I felt like I was being compared to you, measured up to you, and I just lost."
"She wanted you."
"Are you an idiot?"
"What?" I felt like hitting him, a lot.
"Are you blind? Or just deaf?"
"I'm neither, you ass!"
He pounded his fist on the table, making me jump. "Then why can't you see that she's in love with you?"
"You're a liar," I stammered, my face started to feel hot.
He started laughing. "And you're in love with her."
"Shut up."
"What, are you two friends now?" Both of us turned to see Winry standing in the doorway, her face burning.
"Winry, its not-" Her glare stopped me from saying anything more. I stood up and walked for the stairs, hoping like hell I wouldn't get a wrench in the head on the way out. As soon as I had walked out, the screaming began. I made a run for my room, praying that closing the door would drown out their voices, but it still seemed like Winry was screaming in my ear.
After a good half hour of deliberation, the screaming stopped, and soft footsteps echoed through the hall. My door opened, but my back was to it.
"I'm sorry, Edward."
"Yeah." I curled up tighter in a ball, waiting for the sound of the door closing, but it never came.
"Victor explained…"
"Good."
"I'm really sorry, Ed."
"It's fine."
I felt my bed dip slightly under her weight. "You won't even look at me?"
I sighed and turned onto my back, propping my head up with my arms so I could look at her. "Better?"
"What's wrong?"
I could make a list. I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure I killed a child. I've just been told that you're in love with me, and I'm fairly sure I'm in love with you. Ugh. "When we were in the other world, we saw you."
"Another me?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"She was married… to Victor. They had two… three children."
Winry's eyes fell to her hands. "Was she… happy?"
"She seemed alright. But I wasn't." I sat up and rubbed a hand over my face.
"What?"
"I couldn't bear to look at them." I tilted my head back, resting it on the backboard of the bed. "Every time I looked at them… at their children… it made me sick."
"… Sick?"
I locked eyes with her and smile softly. "I wanted it to be me."
"Edward?" she squeaked as I took one of her hands.
"I wanted to be Victor… I wanted those to be my children… I was so jealous." I rubbed my thumb along the side of her hand. "And when I saw the real you with him… ah, I could have died. But you didn't deserve to be hurt… so I… just let it go. I knew I didn't deserve what I wanted… not with you."
"Edward!" She sounded as if she were scolding me.
"What?" I almost whined.
"You should stop thinking about yourself."
"What?"
"You don't deserve?" She leaned forward, a frown on her face. "What about what I deserve?"
"I said you didn't deserve to be hurt."
"Yeah, but I don't deserve you?" My eyes went wide, and she laughed in reaction. "I think after all the shit you put me through and all the times you've left me, I think I deserve you. So you can feel however you want about me, but you damn well better stay. That is, if you know what's good for you."
"Hey, Winry?"
"Yeah?"
"I…" I bent my head and expelled all the air from my lungs, taking in a deep breath. "I… I love you." I felt the bed move and suddenly her head was on my chest, her face an inch or so away from my neck.
"I love you, too, Ed."
I let out a long sigh, wrapping my arms around her. "Your skin's so soft," I whispered without even thinking. The embarrassment gripped my cheeks.
"And your hands are pretty calloused," she giggled. "But at least you smell good."
"Yeah, you smell like a mechanic."
"Edward!" She brought her head up from my chest, coming face to face with me.
"I lived with a mechanical arm and leg… I like it." I leaned in, putting us cheek to cheek. I took a deep inhale of her scent. "I love it."
The breath caught in my throat as I felt her lips caress my cheek. "You better say that." I relaxed my head back and couldn't help but be in awe of her smile. I had never seen that expression on her face. I leaned in slowly, catching her smile with my lips. I cradled the back of her head, my fingers in her hair, pushing her deeply into the kiss.
"I love you so much," I breathed out across her lips.
"Ed?"
"Yeah?" I almost couldn't keep my lips off hers.
"Did you really want to have babies with me?"
I chuckled. "Yes, lots and lots."
"Don't joke around."
"Winry, I'm not joking. I held each baby in my arms not that long after they were born and every time… I thought 'How different would they look if they were mine?' or 'What would it be like to have them call me dad?' each and every time."
"Really?"
"No, I just made it all up," I laughed. "Of course, stupid."
"Thanks," she frowned.
"They were so beautiful… they all looked like you…" Even the one I killed. I closed my eyes, trying to keep the thought out of my head, but there he was, the picture of the baby in my arms sitting on my eyelids.
"Edward?"
"Yeah, sorry." I opened my eyes and smiled softly.
"No, what's wrong? You looked… like you were going to cry."
"Huh? No, Winry, I…" I sighed. Something in my mind kept telling me to tell her, but what good would it do? To have her know I killed an innocent child.
"You can tell me, Ed."
"You'll hate me," I touched the side of her face softly. "I already hate myself."
She bit her lip. "Whatever it is, Ed, just tell me."
"I… Winry, the other Winry, her third child was born very sick. She came to me and…" The image of the child flashed into my mind and I couldn't stop the tears forming in my eyes. "She gave him to me."
"To save?"
"To use."
"What?"
"Babies are still attached to the gate."
"You used the baby to get back here?"
"I didn't want to but she… told me it was what she wanted me to do. I trusted her that I did the right thing, but…"
Winry wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, my face pushed into the crick of her neck. "If it's what she wanted, Edward, then you have to respect her decision. You shouldn't blame yourself for her choice."
"But, I-"
She immediately hushed me with her lips, firm but loving. "I know, Ed, I know."
"I'm so sorry."
"I know, and she knows, too."