Title: Do you love me?
Rating: M
Genre: Romance
Pairing: KaiMichael
Summery: Michael knows he sounds like a tragic romance novel. But he has to know the answer to the question he can never ask.
Do you love me?
It's a stupid question, I know. It's one that I should already know the answer to.
But with you I can never tell.
Then again, I suppose that you make sure it's that way, don't you. You like feeling that you're unreadable.
I can remember the first time you and I… y'know…
It was an overcast day and I was watching a group of kids trying to play ball with really crappy second-hand gear. I don't think they were even keeping score. They were just playing because they could. I can remember being envious of them. It's been a long time since I've played without competitiveness becoming involved.
I can remember that it began to spit and I looked up from the game to get the scare of my life. You were standing at the edge of the park completely still and staring at me. It looked like you'd been there for a while.
By the time I had recovered from my shock it had started to rain. I walked over to you, heedless of the kids that I had been watching. You didn't say a word to me. Instead, you simply continued to stare at me. I couldn't help but notice the unusual colour of your eyes in those few seconds. They were the colour of blood. You gestured for me to follow you before turning away from me and beginning to walk.
I'm still not sure why I did. My home wasn't that far from the park so It wasn't as if I was in desperate need for shelter. Still, follow you I did.
When we got back to your house we were both soaked to the bone. I'm sure that you can remember what happened after that, don't you?
We didn't quite make it past the entryway before we started molesting each other. We managed to break most of the furniture in that room and we both still wear some of the scars from that encounter.
That kind of set the tone for the rest of our relationship- if you can call it that. We don't spend our time together like couples in romance novels, talking about their hopes and dreams for the future. Instead we spend our time having passionate, gratifying sex.
That was why the first time I saw you at one of my games I almost died from shock again. Just like before you were simply staring at me, a blue tuft of hair in a sea of people.
That became a habit for you. Every time I had a game I could always look up and know that you were their, looking directly at me as silent and as still as you were that time outside the ballpark.
I always thought you were just curious about how I could be committed to, and excel at, two very different sports. I don't think that you've ever grasped the concept that beyblading is my passion while baseball is my life.
During the matches that you watched I always listened for your voice. I always hoped that one day that vicious self-control you hold yourself with would break and you'd cheer for me.
I've slowly come to realise that I'll never hear you cheer. You don't do that undignified cheering thing. You think it's beneath you.
You know, now that I think of it, it probably is.
You always show me your appreciation afterwards so I guess that I shouldn't complain.
I keep a close eye on the relationships of all of my team mates. I'm not even sure why. I don't know whether it's out of genuine interest in their lives or just morbid curiosity.
From all of my observations I've noticed a disturbing pattern in most of their relationships. First there's the initial joy and passion of every new relationship- the stage where neither of them can stand to be separated for any length of time. However, very quickly that initial joy fades and the familiarity soon breeds contempt. Heartbreak soon follows.
However, that has never happened to us. Whatever we have has never lost even one degree of the passion we had on the day it started.
I can't help but wonder if that's because what we have is only about the sex or if it's because it runs much deeper.
I pause in my actions as you let out a low groan of release, Your hands loosen their grasp on my hair as you slide down the wall of the changing room in the baseball stadium, joining me on my knees.
You look at me hazily, you're eyes still as intense as ever in their lust-filled state. You continue to regard me as your body fights for control over your breathing.
"Michael…I-"
Do you love me, Kai?
Please tell me what you think