5 Second Countdown
by. Poisoned Scarlet

05: Restart

01 week, 08 hours, 05 seconds later

In order for things to get better they must first get worse.

Winry hadn't heard more truer words than those as she slowly stood, letting the cold from the tiles seep into her toes. She shuddered, remembering exactly how freezing her own cell had been during those times in captivity.

This was actually warm compared to that.

Her thought-to-be-broken-arm turned out to be a severe shoulder dislocation and her body was healing up slowly and painfully. With the food and vitamin supplements they had been subjecting her body to, she was slowly but surely regaining her strength although she wanted to be up and walking already.

She had never been the most patient person in the world.

Which was why, an hour before visiting hours began, she was trying to stand up by herself.

She wanted out already. The hospital room made her feel claustrophobic. Besides, she wanted to try and find Melanie. She wanted to rescue her from the beating she would most likely receive for her absence...

She checked the clock, frowning when she noticed she only had twenty minutes to try and test out her legs. She had a deep-set bruise scaling from her upper thigh to her knee when the doctors managed to properly diagnose her. They told her it wasn't anything that couldn't heal within a few weeks, thankfully.

She had enough strength to be looked over critically now, to her relief and annoyance.

She had bruises and sores all over her body and her hands hurt a lot if they didn't drug her up every few hours. The doctors had told her that she was still at risk of losing a few fingers so they needed to monitor how her hand was doing closely for the next few days. She had suffered a severe case of frostbite, the very thing she had dreaded from the beginning.

What made it worse was the fact that it was her right hand that had the most damage; the hand she used to write with, to screw in bolts with, to measure with.

It was her dominate hand.

Now what would she do if she lost it?

She wasn't left handed. She didn't want to spend hours upon hours learning how to write with her left hand although, she thought with a sigh, she supposed she would have to if something went wrong in the healing process and her right hand became invalid...

She didn't notice the door open until she was on her feet, unsteady, but at least able to stand. Her legs felt weak and wobbly so she didn't risk taking that first step. She needed to be slow and careful. Her grandmother would smack her on the head with her infamous pipe if she rushed her recovery and ended up making herself sick or worse.

"You shouldn't be walking around like that, you know."

"But look!" Winry smiled, looking up into Ed's eyes. She had been expecting him. The creaky door had been fixed by Al so it didn't creak anymore a day ago. "I can stand now! My feet kind of hurt though..." She sat back down and rolled her good shoulder a bit to straighten out a kink. "I want to go out already. It's so boring in here!"

"You can't until the doctors give you the OK," Ed reminded, bringing up the stool he always used and sitting next to her. Winry slowly pushed her legs back under the sheets and smiled up at Ed.

Ever since he had blown up on them and thundered out of the hospital, intent on murdering every single Drachmian soldier who had had their way with her, he had become calmer, less-impatient, and even went as far as staying with her until visiting hours were over nearly everyday.

It was comforting, to say the least.

It also creeped her out a little, not used to seeing such a patient Ed, but the feeling was thrown out the window when she noticed he controlled his temper by taking deep breaths and no doubt counting to ten in his head.

It had become a game to irritate him until he blew up.

So far, he was winning...

"How's Al doing?"

"As fine as he can be with all that damn work," he rolled his eyes. "He's sorting out the rescued P.O.W. or something." Ed paused. "Or sleeping."

"You mean you don't know what he's doing?"

Ed shrugged. "He's apart of so much crap nowadays its a pain to keep up with whatever new organization he's joined." Ed scratched his forehead in thought. "I know he's apart of some cat adoption organization...just as long as he doesn't adopt one himself, I don't care."

Winry giggled, reaching over to grab her cup of water. Her sore arm restricted movement and her jaw was still aching due to the morning cold, distracting her a little, so it wasn't really a surprise Ed had gotten to it before she did and handed it to her.

"You know, you should really stop doing things for me," she said, as she sipped the water carefully. "I have to move around or else rehabilitation will hurt more," she humored, smile faltering when his eyes became darker, shading into a deep gold that glowed under the early morning sunlight.

He looked down, at his right hand, which was still bandaged, and muttered: "Right..."

Winry swallowed, groping for something to talk to; something lighthearted and not related to the nightmare she had been apart of. "Um... how-how is granny? I haven't been able to contact her since they don't let me out of the room."

Ed looked up. The darkness in his eyes had lightened but she could see that last shred of self-containment that was slowly tearing as they spoke.

She wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly stood up and walked out of the room for a bit.

He did it a lot.

He had the courtesy to make up an excuse she saw right through before he left.

That comforted her a bit; he was rational enough to come up with an excuse which meant he was rational enough not to do something he would regret.

"She's fine. She closed up the shop yesterday and she's coming over here to look you over herself. She said she doesn't trust Central doctors."

"Does she know..?"

"Yeah," Ed frowned. He took a slow breath. "She was the first person informed when you went missing. She—she called us a couple of hours later... why didn't you tell us?" He rose his eyes, accusation sparking within them. "Why didn't you tell us that you were going to Briggs? How could you have just have gone without telling us? What the hell compelled you to think that going to war was a damn good idea!"

"Well, you never tell me anything!" Winry countered lamely.

"That has nothing to do with this!" Ed shouted, sending the stool tumbling back. "You already knew what we were doing! You already knew what our goal was so there was no real need to tell you where we were because you already knew why! We didn't know! "

Winry didn't say anything. She clutched the sheets between her fingers, shame making her shoulders slump.

He was right: she did know why they left and she mostly never questioned why they ended up in Dublith or Lior or Eastern City – she knew it was because, somehow, they had gotten leads regarding that cursed stone.

She already knew.

They never knew.

She never told them.

In a way, she had decided to keep her attendance a secret from them as retaliation for everything they kept from her.

She supposed it was stupid.

But wasn't eqivalent exchange kind of stupid?

"G-Granny was going to go and I won't let any else die because of some dumb war!" Winry croaked, taking a shuddering breath. She wouldn't cry. Not now. "I had no choice in the matter, anyways. I'm already a certified doctor and they would have drafted me in the instant I turned eighteen. So I just decided I might as well join now while I still had a choice than dwell on it and be forced into it!" she ended fiercely.

"No," Ed sneered. "We wouldn't have let you! We would have asked Mustang to refrain from letting you join, Winry! We would have everything humanly possible to keep you from joining!"

She was quiet for a moment. "... I would have still gone..."

Ed stared, incredulously. "What?"

"I would have still gone," Winry repeated, louder; staring dead-on into his incensed eyes. "They needed us. It would have been selfish to not go just because I-I could die out there. There's always a risk in everything and... I saved so many people while I was there. I wouldn't change that for the world, even if it got me to where I am now." She fingered her sore jaw thoughtfully. "At least I can say that my parents... would have been proud of me."

Ed's stare became darker, if possible. "... You're an idiot."

"Maybe," she chuckled weakly.

He suddenly reached forward and drew her close to him, carefully avoiding her jaw as he laid his chin on the crown of her head without a shift in his dark expression. She clung to his midsection like a child. He didn't say anything when he felt tears soak through his shirt and he pretended he didn't hear the soft "mom and dad" as she cried.

"Stop crying, you dumbass," Ed mumbled, patting her head fondly. "You promised you'd only cry tears of joy, remember? That promise still stands."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I broke our promise. You're right, this is stupid. I shouldn't be crying." She tried to lift her head but he prevented her. He wiped away her tears with the back of his hand a bit brusquely, a faint dust of red across his cheeks once he regained some control of his shaky emotions.

"You're still crying," he sighed, when her eyes watered even more. "I'm crap with tears, Win, you know that. That's probably the reason I made that promise with you..." he muttered under his breath, although he knew fairly well it was because when she hurt, he hurt too.

Winry chuckled. "I wondered about that. I guess I was right afterall, huh?" She brought her hand up and wiped away her remaining tears. Her cheeks felt a bit hot, as Ed never let his eyes stray from her face, and she cursed the brand-new machine that recorded each rapid beat.

"You're hearts going crazy," Ed humored, squinting his eyes. "What're you thinking about?"

Winry slapped him on the arm. "Shuddup! I'm not some perverted guy, you know!"

"I never said that—oof!" Ed stepped back when she punched him this time, grinning wryly. "Now that's the Winry I remember."

Her heart kept racing. Winry tried her best to calm it down. "You're so irritating!"

"Hey, don't say that," Ed smiled, fixing the stool upright so he could sit on it. "I'm the one keeping you company everyday."

Her eyes softened and her annoyance faded. She placed her hand on her lap and smiled slightly, almost guiltily. "Yeah, you're right... I must be taking up a lot of your time, huh? Sorry... you know, you don't have to stay here with me—if you're bored you can go out and—"

"I want to stay here with you," Ed cut her off, clearing his throat right after and turning away to hide his pink face. "I mean, I chose to keep you company and all. You're not forcing me to do anything. I just—uh, want to stay, " he stuttered, pink turning red.

"Thanks. I could really use the company," she laughed, gazing down at her hands. "I'm a little paranoid when the doctors come in to check me up or people visit me." She had only had a total of five visitors and two of those had been Ed and Al.

Mustang and Hawkeye had come to visit her as well and asked her a few questions regarding her captivity. It was grim, having to revisit memories she'd rather bury, but it had to be done sometime and she knew there was no whining out of it. The last had been Sciezska, who had brought along a pile of automail books in her wake to keep Winry occupied in the dead of night, when she couldn't sleep as smirking grins and bloody wounds plagued her dreams.

"The doctors tell me you haven't been sleeping well," Ed spoke up, startling her out of her thoughts.

"They have?"

"They monitor you, you know," Ed frowned, eyes downcast in a little embarrassment. "I ask them for updates on your status daily and they tell me that you haven't been getting proper sleep."

"But I have!" Winry huffed. "I've been sleeping a lot, actually! I'm starting to think I'm becoming lazy..."

"Three hours a night doesn't count as 'a lot', Winry," he said quietly, making her smile slowly fade.

Winry stared at the stark white sheets, reminded of her stark white coat that all-too-soon became soiled with blood, dirt, and death.

"Okay, so I haven't been sleeping a lot," she admitted, "but I'm not sleepy so it's alright. I can't force myself to sleep, you know."

"You look like you could sleep right now."

"No, I don't," she mumbled, turning away from his scrutinizing gaze.

"Winry, I can always tell when you're lying," Ed chuckled, heaving a sigh. "You get all...shy and stuff when you lie."

"Thanks for the tip," she muttered, the tips of her ears going red, before whispering: "They stopped giving me pain pills."

"You don't need them anymore, do you?" His voice was strained. "If you're in pain then I could go tell them—!"

"I mean, since they stopped giving me pills, I've stopped sleeping." Her eyes drooped. There was no going around it, really... "A common side-effect for these types of pills is usually drowsiness. It's what helped me sleep most of the time.."

There was silence.

"You don't want to sleep, do you?"

Winry swallowed, starting to feel cornered. "It's not that, it's just that—"

"No, it is. You relied on those pills—you drugged yourself to sleep."

She couldn't stand the way his voice just sounded so wounded, so angry, so accusing. "No I didn't! They just helped me fall asleep faster without waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning or—!"

"Or they stopped you from dreaming," Ed added stonily, making her falter.

"I..."

"I know, Winry," he said, quietly. She stole a glance, catching the way his eyes became recluse and distant. His shoulders slumped. "I can understand not wanting to sleep because of the things you see."

She felt her eyes water and she irritatingly thought that there was no reason for tears. They were just dreams! They meant nothing! They were just images drudged up from her subconscious; things she feared the most and things that would never ever happen again because Ed wouldn't let them happen.

He promised.

And so long as he promised, she was alright.

Right?

Her shoulders shook and she found, annoyingly, that she was freely crying again. She heard shifting and felt a hand touch her shoulder. She fell into the touch as she watched the sun high above the sky through the corner of her eye.

Night would come soon.

Ed would have to leave.

She would be alone again and she would once more try to sleep only to feel the menacing ghost touches on her skin and hear the frightening scrape of blades on stone; taunting her with the implications. Then she would get fed up with those sensory touches and turn on the light and pick up a book and immerse herself in it until dawn, where she would sleep for a few hours before automatically waking up at 9, waiting for Ed to show up and greet her.

It was a process she had fallen into.

They didn't speak of this again until visiting hours were over and Ed reluctantly left. She watched him slowly exit, stealing a glance from over his shoulder, before closing the door and leaving her shrouded in darkness.

Despite the lights from outside, Winry still felt scared of the little darkness that loomed over her. She quickly turned on the lamp by her nightstand and struggled to wedge out a heavy book on surgery from under her bed when the door opened again.

She froze, blood running cold, before remembering she was in a hospital and no one could hurt her. Her hands were still shaky, however.

"Jeez, so this is what you do when I leave you all by yourself? Honestly, I know I stayed up all night reading but I didn't think I was that bad of an influence on you!" Ed complained. "You were the one who kept calling me a geek, too. Can't say that now, can you?"

She pushed herself back into the bed with a surprised gasp. "Ed, what are you still doing here? Visiting hours are over! Do you want the nurse to kick you out again?"

Ed grinned, however, holding out a blanket triumphantly. "I get to stay with you today!" he sang out. He fell back into a chair that was by the far wall after he pushed it close to her bed, propping his feet up on the stool.

Winry openly gaped. "What! Ed, there is no way you could stay—!"

"Yes, I can because I pulled rank on them and like hell am I going to leave you alone. It's bad enough I've been doing it for the past few days!" Ed huffed, crossing his arms stubbornly. "So just suck it up – you aren't gonna' get me to leave that easily!"

"What about Al?" she persisted.

"What about him?" he dismissed. "He won't be back until around one in the morning – he's got some convention to attend somewhere out by downtown so it won't really matter."

"Won't he find it a bit suspicious when he discovers you aren't there?" she eyed him.

"Nah, he doesn't check up on me anymore," he shrugged. "He just passes out either on the couch or the bed; whichever one he reaches first."

"Oh." Winry worried her bottom lip. "You two... you two don't share bedrooms anymore?"

"Nope," Ed shook his head. "I broke him out of that habit a couple of months ago. I told him that if he ever got a girlfriend, I doubt she'd find it attractive that he still slept in the same room as his older brother." He grinned slyly, earning a look of mock-anger from Winry. "Ate that up like the pie you bake!"

"Ed, that wasn't very nice! You know how sensitive Al is about that!" She laughed nonetheless, glad to see Ed had not lost his mischievous streak.

"He'll get over it," he snorted. "But I guess I'll always have someone sleeping with me," he half-smiled. "At least you're a girl..."

"Whats that suppose to mean?" she raised a teasing brow.

"Nothing..." he mumbled back, cheeks red, bringing the blanket up to his chin and sinking into the chair.

"I think it means something," she pressed, massaging her jaw as it was starting to hurt from speaking so much. She had figured out this method where she would sort of lock her jaw lightly to the left and she could speak for hours without it hurting so badly.

Even though it slurred some words, it was better than having a constant pain in her face and having to refrain from speaking what she wanted to because of the pain.

"Is your jaw hurting?" Ed asked with concern, frowning when she shook her head and dropped her hand.

"It's nothing. It always hurts, even with the stuff they give me to calm the pain," she assured, trying to her best to smile and relieve that stern look on his face.

He nodded slowly, averting his gaze for a moment to regain his composure. Winry was always sure not to bring up the nightmare she had lived through – it often led to one pissed off Edward Elric or killed the companionable atmosphere completely.

"You're not actually going to sleep on a chair, are you?" Winry asked, after a few seconds of silence.

"I'll sleep on the extra bed next door," Ed answered. "It's empty today and they just cleaned the sheets. The nurse said I was allowed to sleep there for the time being."

Somehow, this made her heart drop.

So he really wasn't going to sleep with her...

Her face heated up.

At least, not in the same room.

What the heck was she thinking? He wouldn't even fit on the same bed with her!

Not that...she wanted him to sleep beside her...not really.

She brushed these thoughts off. "Oh."

"So, go to sleep," Ed demanded, chuckling at the peeved look he received. "C'mon, Win, you gotta' sleep sometime and I'm not leaving until I see you drooling." He snatched the book from her hand without warning, dropping it unceremoniously on the ground and kicking it under her bed despite her protests.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Its just a book," he rolled his eyes. "It'll live. Now go to sleep!"

"Be patient!" she growled. "Sleeping isn't just like flicking a switch, you know!"

"Wish it was," Ed muttered under his breath.

Winry shot him a glare and said: "And I do not drool! You do, though."

"I do not!" he scowled.

"Do too! Obviously you haven't seen yourself sleep, Ed, you drool so much you always leave a huge stain on the pillow!" she grinned smugly at his embarrassment.

Ed reddened. "Oh, yeah? At least I'm not the one—!" He stopped abruptly, eyes lighting up with realization. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes! Don't wait up for me if you can help it!" He flung the blanket off him and dashed out the door, leaving her in stunned silence with his sudden departure as the door slam echoed through the room.

A few minutes turned out to be half an hour, in which Winry was left alone in the room, staring at the wall opposite to her and trying hard not to think about Melanie and what might be happening to her...

When Ed did come back, she was glad for the distraction, as her thoughts had begun to venture into territory she was still not ready to face without bursting into tears or having some sort of anxiety attack.

"I think I have something that might help you sleep," he said slowly, swallowing nervously. "They're not pills but I remember you telling me that you slept with it all the time... it's just a substitute since I don't know where yours is but, well, uh—"

"Just spit it out," she demanded, trying to peek at what he had hidden behind him. "What is it?"

"Just—here!" he shoved something heavy and shiny into her lap. She stared long and hard when she saw it was a wrench – the latest one, too, from the ridges on the handle and the adjustable dials on the top. It had no scratches, held that distinct new-metal smell unlike her old wrench, and felt nice and smooth under her palm. The weight was comforting, the cold further adding to this consolation, and she couldn't believe Edward had remembered such an insignificant fact like that...

She gave it a squeeze with her left hand, eyes saddening when she noticed her left was a bit sloppy and uncoordinated, unlike her right although that was hurt too much to actually move. The bandages wrapped tightly, but not as thickly, around her hand prevented her from further inspecting the tool but she didn't mind; she was just happy to have something to remind her of her old life back in her hands.

Her old life...

She wondered if she would ever be able to pick up a surgical tool without seeing that soldier's lifeless eyes flash behind the lids of her eyes.

"You don't know..." she whispered, softly placing the wrench on her lap. "...how much this really means to me, Ed. T-thank you." Her eyes felt watery again and she cursed her emotional instability as a light emotions settled in her chest.

Every little thing made her cry now.

But the emotion was welcomed. It felt nice, to feel something other than despair, and she quietly tried to describe the emotion in her head; to try and focus on it so she could remember how it felt...because she had taken too many things for granted and this had been realized during her short-lived captivity.

"You... you're welcomed," Ed coughed, sitting back down on his chair.

"That's a first," Winry chuckled, stealing a look at Ed. "You've never said something so formal to me like that before."

Ed looked away in response, a scoff lacing his next words: "Whatever; Al's been rubbing off on me. You'll sleep better now, though, right?"

Winry smiled warmly, that light emotion converting into something bigger, heavier, and seemingly making bliss course through her veins; heightening the sense of elation "I think so."

She actually slept that night.

A/N: Yay, this chapter isn't as angsty as the last couple! I can also safely say that we're about half-way through with this fiction. Okay, that's a lie: we're about sixty five percent done. There's one last loose end I have to knot ;D

Please review!

Scarlett.