Merlin sat at the table in the middle of Gwen's living room. He buried his face in his hands and let go an heavy sigh.
He had been close. He had been so close... How long would it be? How long would it be until he wouldn't have to lie any more?
He heard something fall on the table and then slide. He straightened up, and saw that Livia, standing on the other side of the table, had pushed the magic book towards him.
"I guess I should give that back to you," she said softly.
Merlin pushed it away. "It's supposed to be yours, you'd better keep it for the time being." He paused. "You read it, right? This morning, while I was gone?"
The witch shrugged. "I was bored... And curious, I'll admit."
Merlin remained thoughtful for several seconds, until he said abruptly: "You must think I'm crazy, stating that I don't want any of my friends to know, and then all of a sudden admit to it in front of all of them."
"No. Actually I think it can't be easy, having to lie all day long."
Merlin detected a hint of pity in her voice. How ironic. Here was that woman, condemned to the stake, with half the knights in the kingdom after her, and she pitied him...
He shook his head. He should have insisted more. He should have interrupted her immediately when she started pretending the book was hers to help him out. He shouldn't have allowed Arthur to think he was doing nothing more than rubbing in the fact that he'd been wrong.
"He's open to the idea, but he's not ready to hear it," Livia stated as if reading his mind, obviously speaking of Arthur. "He doesn't want to. Otherwise he would have guessed I cast a spell to write the inscription that convinced him in the end."
Merlin lifted the book's cover to check the writing Arthur had read there, and couldn't help but smile. "Livia, may you find this book as useful as I have. With love, mom," he read out loud. "Clever..."
"I... don't know how to take the writing off, though," she confessed.
Merlin's thoughts were brought back to their current situation when Gwen's neighbour whimpered. "We need to find the source of this curse, but we also need to find a way to cure it. As far as we know you're the only one around capable of casting the healing spell required, but you don't have the power to heal everyone," he summed up. "The only way to make it work that I can think of is by, somehow, giving you enough power to do it, like we did for Gwen but at a much greater scale."
He turned to look at the old man lying in Gwen's bed. There were so many sick people, it would probably take a lot of power.
"You're not saying anything," Merlin suddenly noticed. "Are you still worried about Dunstan?"
"No... I mean, yes, but..." Livia hesitated. "This whole thing is starting to take huge proportions."
"I know you were thrown into this by chance and didn't ask for any of it. But right now you're our only link with this dryad magic. We need you around."
"I know... But what I mean is... I'm not sure I'm willing to go that far."
"All right, then how far are you willing to go? Tell me what you want," Merlin invited.
"Honestly?" she asked with a snort. "Right now, I just want to go home. Be done with all of this. Back in that tunnel... I really almost left."
"But you had the courage to come back," he pointed out, "which means that deep down, you want to help."
"Oh, it's not courage that made me stay. I stayed out of cowardice. I didn't want to take that decision. Any decision. I chose to stay so that other people would decide for me..."
Merlin stared at her. He took that sort of decisions for himself nearly every day. But was it really his place to choose for someone else? If all she wanted to do was leave, then she should do so. But they still needed her to cure those villagers.
"If I find a way to provide you with enough power to heal all those people at once, will you do it?" he finally asked.
"Yes. But it won't work. Tapping your power alone ought to be more than enough, but I still wouldn't manage to heal more than one or two people per day. I'm the limiting factor. You need to find someone else who can cast that spell globally."
"There aren't any," Merlin stated. "And we don't have time to roam the kingdom to find another sorcerer with dryad heritage. I can try to find a way to directly increase your power temporarily, and in that case, will you do it?"
At that moment, the front door opened, and Gwen and Arthur got back into the house. Merlin looked at Livia with insistence, until she finally nodded in silence.
Meanwhile...
Arthur walked several yards away from Gwen's house and sat directly on the ground, his back against a wall. He banged his head twice before letting it rest against the wall, then closed his eyes and let go a long sigh.
He was getting too paranoid... Twice in under an hour, he had felt like an utter fool: once when he had believed Merlin to be a sorcerer, and once when he had realised he had wrongly accused him... And in the meantime, he had had to question and reassess so many things he took for granted...
He was tired, he needed a good night of sleep. He needed his father to give him a little more leeway. He needed Camelot to be healed. He needed all of this to be solved. He needed a break...
He heard someone sit next to him. When he opened his eyes, he saw it was Gwen. She wasn't looking at him, just sitting there in companionable silence. Arthur knew Gwen would let him be the first to talk, respecting the fact he may not want to talk at all. So they both remained like that for several minutes.
"My reaction was completely disproportionate," Arthur finally said. "I'm sorry I put all of you through it."
"It's all right. You're obviously distressed," Gwen answered.
So it showed, Arthur realised. Well, he was out there brooding, after all, wasn't he?
"The King is putting me under a lot of pressure," he explained. "He ordered me to find the witch before dawn... I don't understand why he's in such a hurry to find her instead of concentrating on healing the villagers... He seems convinced that once rid of her, the curse will disappear with her. I can't tell him that the fact she escaped the very same night the disease started spreading really is a coincidence because I'm the one who got her out. I can't tell him she might not be responsible for the disease. I can't tell him we must investigate other options if we want to have a chance at stopping this. I have to juggle between my priorities and his without arousing his suspicion, which, believe me, isn't easy. We'd have to solve this whole mystery before tomorrow, but we have nothing yet, not even a lead... So when I come back empty-handed at dawn, he's going to be extremely displeased. Again." Arthur sighed heavily. "Sorry, I'm speaking too much."
"No you're not," Gwen assured. "I'm glad you're confiding in me. I don't always realise the sort of pressure you're under," she continued and delicately put her hand upon his.
Arthur looked up at her and they smiled at each other.
"When I found that magic book in Merlin's room during the searches... I expected anything but that... I didn't know what to think any more..." he whispered.
"You were probably all the more disturbed since you have practised magic yourself recently," Gwen suggested.
Arthur shrugged dismissively. "I barely gave a hand... And it was for a good cause..."
"Using magic for a good cause... You're beginning to speak like Morgana..." Gwen teased.
Arthur shuddered at the thought. "I have to concentrate and pay more attention if I want to have a chance at solving the whole situation. Merlin told me that witch's name at least half a dozen times, but when a man came at the castle's entrance asking to see her I had no idea who he was referring to... I had to see it written in that magic book to remember it was her..."
"Someone asked for her?" Gwen queried.
"Her fiancé apparently. I put him in the dungeons," he said matter-of-factly. When he caught Gwen's slightly indignant look, he added: "He asked for it..."
There was a lull in the conversation when they both fell silent.
"So, you really thought Merlin was a sorcerer?" Gwen spoke up again.
Arthur shrugged. "I don't know, it made sense..." From the corner of his eyes, he saw Gwen smile. "I swear, it did! You know how he sometimes disappears for hours. And no one knows what he's been doing in the meantime."
"And that can only mean he's been secretly worshipping some deity of magic..." Gwen teased.
Arthur glared at her as her smile widened. "He keeps defending magic."
"Morgana often speaks in favour of magic too, that doesn't make her a witch," Gwen pointed out.
Arthur sighed. "Well even if it's not magic, you have to admit there's something about him."
There was another short lull.
"Even if he had really been a sorcerer, come on, it's Merlin... Do you really believe he would have used that against you, or against the kingdom?" Gwen asked.
Arthur shrugged again. He had to admit, probably not.
"Actually," Gwen continued with a smile, "I'm sure that if someone like Merlin turned out to be a sorcerer, it may reconcile you with magic."
"If he really was a sorcerer, I would personally kick him out of the castle, all the way back to Camelot's borders and to this small village of his," Arthur replied stubbornly.
"But you wouldn't denounce him..." Gwen insisted.
Arthur didn't answer. He knew he wouldn't, he had proved it that very day. But he didn't want to say it out loud. That would be admitting to disregarding one of the kingdom's most fundamental laws.
"And what if I were a witch?" Gwen asked facetiously.
"Please, don't joke about that..." Arthur requested.
"Sorry..." she apologised immediately.
Arthur looked at Gwen. Her presence was so comforting... He squeezed her hand lightly. He wished he could kiss her right there, right then, but he couldn't... They were out in the street, and even though there was barely any passer-by, they couldn't let anyone see them.
Gwen finally noticed his insistent look. "What?"
"Nothing..." he dismissed while releasing her hand. "We'd better go, we have work to do."