Merlin evaluated the distance to the castle from where they had paused, close to the forest's border.
"I think we're safe, we're far enough from the castle," Merlin stated, then turned back to Livia and Dunstan. "Is it all right if I leave the two of you here? Will you find the way back to Raguenel?"
"Yes, don't worry, we'll be fine," Dunstan assured him. "Thanks again for getting us out of there."
"And, Merlin..." Livia chimed in. "I'm still not sure what it is you're doing here exactly, but... Whatever it is, you're doing it for all of us. I mean, all of us with magic. So, I think you deserve some thanks for that too."
"I'm not doing anything..." Merlin dismissed with modesty.
"You might not be entirely aware of it, but you are," Livia insisted. "In ten, twenty years from now, life will be easier for us. And that will be at least partly thanks to you."
Merlin shook his head. "Despite asking me to help you out, I know Arthur still believes all sorcerers are evil."
"Maybe he still does. But you can't deny he does a little less every day."
Merlin shrugged. He wanted to believe he managed to influence Arthur's vision of magic on some level, but sometimes... Sometimes he felt like nothing would ever change no matter how hard he tried. After all his efforts, he was still unable to tell the truth to anyone, and every sorcerer in the country was still hunted...
"You should get going if you want to be entirely out of reach when they send a searching party at sunrise," Merlin suggested, stifling a yawn.
Livia seemed to notice his current state of fatigue. "Before we go, a little advice for your tiredness: verbena, bee balm, and hawthorn. If you don't have any hawthorn, you can replace it by camomile or valerian. Let it infuse for a half hour, cast any simple calming spell on it, and drink it before going to bed. When you wake up, you'll feel fully rested even if you had only two hours of sleep."
"Wow. Well, I'll definitely give it a try. And if it works, I'll be extremely grateful tomorrow," Merlin thanked. "Where did you learn that? I don't think I have anything quite like that in my magic book..."
Livia smiled. "There are things you can't find in books. This particular recipe has been passed down from healer to healer for a couple of generations. I'm not supposed to give it away like this, but you really look like you could use it. Don't resort to it too often, though," she warned. "You don't want any of the side effects. Believe me, you don't," she insisted.
"All right, I'll be careful, thanks."
Merlin suddenly remembered what Gaius had told him earlier that day. This was exactly the sort of things he was referring to when saying Merlin could benefit from more contact with other sorcerers: new, useful knowledge.
"Just one last thing before you leave..." Merlin continued. "These... sorcerers' meetings... Do you know when the next one will be?"
"Nothing has been planned yet," Livia answered. "They don't happen on fixed dates, we only find out the day and place at the last moment."
"Wait a second," Dunstan intervened, taking Livia aside, "you're not planning on going back to those meetings, are you?
Livia shrugged. "Why not?"
"Do you really have to ask? After everything that happened over the last few days?"
The witch sighed. "Dunstan, we already talked about this..."
"They found you once, they'll find you a second time!" her fiancé insisted. "And when that happens, you might not be one of those that survive it!"
Merlin suddenly felt extremely uneasy in the middle of this couple's strife.
"I'm not in any more danger there than when I just walk down the street! Why do we keep having this argument over and over again?"
"Because you keep putting yourself into - no, that's it, I'm sick of this. You two talk magic if you want, but I won't hear any other word about it," Dunstan concluded and left them to sulk a few yards away.
"I'm sorry," Merlin apologised to Livia, "I didn't mean to create any tension between the two of you by bringing this up."
"Don't worry, it's nothing," she dismissed. "He'll sulk half of the way back home, but he'll grow tired of it before I do."
"He doesn't seem to approve your going to those meetings..."
She shrugged. "He doesn't always understand. But he tries, at least... And I can't blame him for worrying about me... So, you're interested in going to those meetings, after all? You gave some more thought to the fact that we could use a leader?"
"I admit I'm starting to consider it. Joining, I mean, not leading," he added hastily.
"Of course," Livia commented with a smile. "Still not the leading kind, I gather? Well, we'll see about that..."
"So, how do you know where and when to meet?"
"I'm only supposed to tell that to new members... Are you really serious about this?"
"I... think I am, yes," Merlin confirmed, still having Gaius advice in mind.
"All right."
Livia gave a quick look towards Dunstan to check his whereabouts, then stepped closer to Merlin and whispered a few words in his ear.
Merlin stared at her when she was done. "Really? It's that simple?"
Livia nodded. "Do you have any other question?"
"No, it was the only one." He paused briefly. "Well, I guess this is good bye then. I wish the two of you the best of luck, and a lot of happiness. Maybe we'll cross each other's path again some time in Camelot."
Livia shook her head. "I don't think so. I don't think I'll ever get back around here. Too many bad memories. And I guess I'd better stay as far away as I can from the Lady Morgana. As long as I'm away, she won't be able to use her dryad powers again."
"You're absolutely right," Merlin agreed. "Well, maybe I'll see you at one of those sorcerers meetings, then?" he suggested with a smile.
Livia smiled back. "Yes, maybe. Good luck to you too."
Merlin watched her join Dunstan and walk away with him. He couldn't help smiling when he heard them start to bicker about the meetings again. Dunstan might not approve everything she did, but at least he accepted Livia's magic.
He began to head back to the castle.
He hoped some day, he, too, would have the same as they had. Not having to hide. Being able to make a living of magic. Having someone to be entirely honest to.
But he knew he shouldn't complain. Morgana's position was even less enviable than his. He should consider himself lucky for the little he had. At least, he had the dragon's prophecy. He had something to look forward to. Morgana didn't.
He also hoped everything would turn out fine for her. He was still worried about the dragon's warning though. "Better hundreds now than thousands later..." Morgana might not remember it fully, but she had tasted the thrill of magic. She was growing more and more aware of her own abilities.
The dragon was wrong, he decided firmly. She had healed everyone, she was a good person. The only thing she lacked was advice and guidance. Something he would offer gladly.
But would she react any better to the news that he was a sorcerer if he told her himself than when she had found out on her own? The more he thought about it, the less sure he was. He feared the harm was already done. She would still have all the reasons in the world to resent him for hiding the truth.
Had he waited too long? Was it too late already?
The next day, Merlin managed to finish his daily duties in no time, without even using magic. Livia's recipe had worked wonders, he hadn't had so much energy in months...
He headed for Arthur's chambers, carrying the prince's tunic for that evening's feast, all clean and fresh. When he knocked on the door, there was no answer, but he could hear voices coming from inside.
As he was about to knock again, the door opened and Gwen stepped out, looking innocent but also a little flushed. Merlin watched her walk away casually, gave a quick look to Arthur inside – he didn't seem particularly happy to see him – looked at Gwen again, and grinned.
He heard Arthur's annoyed voice: "Are you planning on remaining there in the middle of the hallway all day, or will you come in at last?"
"I'm not sure, let me think about this..." Merlin joked.
Apparently, Arthur wasn't in a very playful mood: he headed for the door and started to close it, with him still outside.
"All right, I'm coming..." Merlin capitulated and eventually walked in, closing the door behind him. "Here is your tunic for the feast," he announced.
Arthur picked it up to examine it. "Well, for once you seem to have managed a reasonably decent work..." he appreciated.
"Isn't it a bit ironic to have a feast to celebrate the end of curse?" Merlin asked while Arthur walked behind the screen to change. "I mean, we still don't know what happened and who cast it... Well, officially it's supposed to be Livia, but she 'escaped', so there isn't much to be happy about... We don't even know how everyone was healed in the end..."
"The villagers have been through quite an ordeal," Arthur replied. "Some have lost family or friends. They deserve a distraction, a moment to rejoice and let all of this behind them. Even the King insisted to maintain the celebration despite the witch's unexpected evasion. As for how everyone was healed, I have my own little theory about that," he concluded mysteriously.
Merlin frowned, taken aback by this assertion. "Really?"
Athur apparently didn't want to expand on the subject, and continued on his own train of thoughts. "After everything got back to normal yesterday, I had some time to think calmly about what everyone said or did over the last couple of days."
He paused. And when he spoke again, Merlin noticed he articulated every syllable slowly, as if choosing each word extremely carefully.
"Sometimes, a knight will stray from the path of righteousness and turn to evil. It's rare, but not unheard of. It's the exception to the rule, I suppose. No rule is infallible when it comes to human matters. So I guess there... could be a handful of good people practising magic. People capable of good deeds, but condemned to hide and act in the shadow because of the law. Selflessly, without ever getting any reward or glory." He paused again. "I'm not sure I could live like that."
This declaration was entirely unexpected. Merlin wasn't sure where it was coming from. Maybe choosing to resort to magic and having to trust a witch to heal hundreds of villagers – including his own father – had disturbed Arthur's convictions more than he thought.
In any case, even though he knew the praise to those few good sorcerers wasn't meant for him, Merlin chose to feel flattered anyway. Maybe some day Arthur would actually praise him for what he was, but until then...
When Arthur stepped out from behind the screen, fully changed, Merlin decided it was high time for a new topic. "So, what was that with Gwen earlier? What was she doing here?" he teased.
"Well, first, this is none of your business," Arthur scolded. "Second, Gwen just came to bring me the magic book the witch forgot in her house. She didn't know what to do with it, and she was afraid of what might happen if someone found it there."
For the first time, Merlin noticed his magic book, laying on the table. His teasing smile vanished.
"I suppose Livia left in a hurry the other night but... you'd think she'd pay more attention to a precious family heirloom... Wouldn't you?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, probably," Merlin answered hastily.
It was his fault. He had completely forgotten about it. Gaius was going to kill him if anything happened to that book...
Arthur picked it up and started browsing. "She must be missing this book dearly... This is so full of useful things... I mean, look at this quite unique spell..."
Merlin gave a quick look at the page, and his throat tightened when he read the title. He knew this spell. He had used it once before. To save Arthur's life.
He was suddenly very aware of Arthur staring at him straight in the eyes, but decided he'd rather keep feigning interest in the book's contents.
When Arthur slammed the book shut, he jumped a little. Which seemed to amuse the prince.
Merlin finally mustered the courage to look back at him, his heart beating wildly.
When he least expected it, Arthur shoved the book into his arms. "Make sure this book finds its way back to its rightful owner. You never know when it might come in handy again," he concluded while walking away, and eventually left the room.
Merlin couldn't believe his ears. He had said its rightful owner, not Livia.
Arthur always spoke with great precision. And when he didn't, it was always deliberate.
He knew. Arthur knew he was a sorcerer. But he hadn't condemned him, Merlin realised, feeling like a great weight had suddenly been taken off his shoulders. Arthur's little theory about how everyone had been healed most certainly involved him, and even though he was mistaken, Merlin didn't care.
The praise had been meant for him.
"I will, Sire. I will," he promised, grinning from ear to ear.
THE END.
Yes, this is over! (except for the possible BONUS SCENE, read below to learn more!)
I know some of you seemed to think there was more to come, but I'm afraid there isn't...
This could go on for nearly forever, but the main story arc is over, so I think it's better to stop now. And I also have other projects I'd like to concentrate on. But maybe I'll consider some sort of sequel (if you guys ask loud enough, I might hear you...). I can really picture Merlin meeting with other sorcerers, and I'm sure the new dynamic with Arthur knowing about him could be interesting to investigate. And I'd also love to watch Morgana's slow descent into darkness...
When I began writing this story, I imagined something mostly about politics and debates over one's vision of magic, but also with a good measure of Arthur/Gwen romance (since I started the story after seeing the "Guinevere & Lancelot" episode from series 2).
These themes have been tackled, on some level, but not as much as I had initially envisioned, especially the romance part. So I'd like to apologise to all those who were misled by the "romance" tag and expected more of it, I should probably have removed it along the way when I realised there wouldn't be as much romance as I'd thought.
The thing is, at some point, the story took a life of its own and started writing itself (if you've ever written a multi-chaptered story, I'm sure you know what I mean...). But I still like the way it turned out, even if it's not exactly how I initially saw it.
Anyways. I mentioned a BONUS SCENE.
My next project is working (at last!) on writing my own book. And in my own language, for a change... Since I hadn't written much in a long time, while writing this fic, I wanted to confirm that I was still capable of seeing a multi-chaptered story to its end, and to comply to some sort of daily/weekly writing schedule in order to post new chapters on a regular basis. I'm reassured about that.
But now, what I need the most, is feedback about the writing itself.
What are my strengths? My weaknesses? What did you think of the characterisation and/or storytelling? What should I really work on?
I'm ready to take any criticism as long as it's constructive!
Most of you who already left a review before have already done what I just mentioned. I'd like to thank all of you: your reviews were part of what kept me going, knowing that I was headed in the right direction! :-D
As for this part of the message, it is more specifically destined to YOU.
Yes, YOU, the silent reader.
YOU who subscribed to story alert but never left a review! (I'm not blaming you though, I do the exact same... :-p )
This is YOUR chance to let me know what you thought of the story! (if you read this far, you have GOT to have an opinion!)
So here is the deal: if I get enough reviews with constructive criticism about the story/writing (I won't lie to you, I'd really love to hit the 200 reviews mark! :-D), I'll post the missing Arthur/Gwen scene from this epilogue... (a scene that could make up for the lack of romance in the story...). You can of course send me a PM instead if you're not confortable with leaving your thoughts publicly in a review.
In any case, no matter whether you choose to leave a review or not, I hope you enjoyed the ride!