Crazy Happenings
Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem or any of the characters in it.
Note: This is still the first day; hopefully this is the last chapter on it. Man…I always seem to change my ideas…and I'm sorry if I'm progressing too slowly. I know I tend to write too much in detail sometimes. Please tell me what you think!
Chapter 4: Flashbacks, An Announcement and Fights
Florina ran as fast as her small and 'fragile' body could, sometimes falling now and then because she was just too clumsy (though her body build proved otherwise…what's up with her anyway?). She never knew, even until now, why was she so 'shy and afraid' of men. She was always like that ever since she was a child. It was soooo scary. Somehow, she was always tongue-tied when she met men, her eyes were always looking at the floor, her mouth was just stuttering out really stupid nonsense, even her hands displayed her evident nervousness (since they were sometimes twisted together in a girlish gesture)…the lavender- haired girl just felt sometimes that she couldn't understand herself. "So, the only thing left for me is…oh yeah, that means I'm an enigma! Hooray!" (sweatdrops) She just wished to be talkative, cheerful and not feeling shy around men…just like Serra. (Though perhaps, on a second thought, not too much like her, she was just too…talkative and a little bossy sometimes), just a little of her confidence would be enough. But perhaps, that would really be against her nature…after all, everyone thought that she was weak, shy, delicate, needed protection…when all along they had forgotten that she was a 'Falcoknight', (notice the inverted commas?) able to protect herself and her friends…but it never crossed their minds.
Even her best friend Lyn had made herself Florina's guardian without asking Florina herself when they spent time together in the plains. The exact sentence that Lyn had said was "Why Florina, you're such a shorty and a scaredy-cat compared to me, so naturally I should be the one and only…(making a stupid nice-guy/girl pose) gallant protector! Yeah, yeah! Cheer for the one and only Lyn of the Lor…Lor…what was it again? Oh yeah, Lorco! …Wait a minute; it was Larco! No, that doesn't sound right. …Oh yeah, now I finally remembered, it's Lorcao! Oh yeah, I'm just sooo great!" The fact that she felt the need to be protected so much made her angry once though she calmed down her 'false anger' surprisingly on Huey and the result was that she got trampled and stamped on many times...Poor Florina. Really, one would think that best friends know each other the best, but in her case it turned out so much differently…(Well, maybe not in the real game, but in my fic, everything goes MY way! Muahahaha!)
As she entertained her thoughts, she didn't realise that she had run a long, long way. Possibly further than 1000 miles. (just kidding) Only when she heard the sounds of birds chirping merrily did she 'exit' from her thoughts and found herself in the middle of Castle Ositia's beautiful gardens. "Oh, how simply nostalgic all this is! Ah…the perfect place to continue dreaming! Yay!" Wanting to clear her thoughts, she sat down on a bench and continued her string of thoughts.
"Hmm…where was I…oh yeah, at that point…"Among all the companions that she had in Eliwood's Elite, none of them had realised her true feelings, not even Lyn. Only one did, and that was Hector, the marquess of Ositia, the person she would have expected least to understand her feelings, and she thought so because he was so clumsy, idiotic, a brainless oaf like Eliwood... and others. And how did she know that he 'so-called understood'? Well, maybe he didn't really mean what he said, but it was good and clear enough for her, and ever since he said it before the last battle against Nergal until now, the memory of it never diminished from her mind…not because it was so lovely, it was just the so plain opposite. (author sweatdrops again)
Flashback
The whole camp burst into laughter as Hector and Oswin launched into another silly squabble. Among these people were Florina herself. Though of course she did not laugh, more likely she…um, laughed out loudly and hysterically for everyone to hear. (can you imagine that?) And so, feeling very bored, she turned her mind to other thoughts. As though, it was automatic, her mind went to this certain person. 'Lord' Hector. His attitude and character had always amused her since he was too clumsy to be true. Her opinion of the blue-haired lord never wavered ever since the day she met him, the day where she had fallen on top of him with her Pegasus…that day she would never forget since it was so funny.
She had wanted to apologise to him for falling on top of him, but being her, she always missed the chance as she was too tongue-tied, and even worse around him. But she finally apologised, quite some time later and he had merely said "How could I forget and that witless winged horse falling on top of me?" That really hurt her for Huey was her best companion. Then, he suddenly spoke out, nervousness surprisingly hinted on his voice. "You know... I'd better keep an eye on you. Don't leave my side on the battlefield. Gotta keep you from getting into trouble." Tears were welling up, threatening to fall down her cheeks and she tried not to show it (so that he wouldn't try to do anything funny)but was only half successful as a sniff manage to escape her. The lord had then expressed his mild disgust at her sniffing. As Florina pretended to try her best to calm herself down, she was a little surprised when Hector extended out a handkerchief to her (though she didn't know where and how did he get one, it looked so dirty). When she looked up, Hector's face was astonishingly no longer grumpy or disgusted like it was half a minute ago; it held a small smile containing kindness. Florina's fake teary eyes widened at the sight of the face that she 'admired'. It contained pure kindness and nothing else. It was only a small smile but a smile it was nevertheless and for the lavender-haired girl, it was more than enough for her. She couldn't stand it anymore.
…For she knew that such things were very scary to come across. Pure joy and hatred at the same time swept into her heart. As she accepted the dirty hanky gingerly (though not wiping her face with it for fear of dirtying her 'beautiful angelic' face), she managed a happy and an evil smile with a 'thank you' that was uttered out maliciously… the first time ever in her life.
The blue-haired lord actually waited for her to finish her sniffing, and after a moment's hesitation, he finally spoke, breaking the silence among them. "…Well, you know, to tell you the truth, you don't have confidence in you. Not a SINGLE BIT. Sometimes I just wonder how did you exactly managed to be a Falcoknight, least even promoted to a Pegknight in training. You're…"
Surprised by this all-of-a-sudden outburst from a person like him, she forgot to be shy totally and showed her scary side. "But I HAVE confidence in myself. Don't you DARE say such bad things about ME AND INSULT ME! I'LL KILL YOU!" She shouted really loud. You can hear it miles away…
But before she could continue, Hector's voice interrupted hers. "Don't you boast about yourself, my 'dear, little pet of a Florina'! I know you better than that!" His voice was harsh. "I've seen you sometimes in the battlefield and you're no better than or your sisters or even any of the Pegknights! You're just as bad as they are, so just stop denying it and say stuff like that! And about everyone thinking you're strong, I'll just tell them what I think of them, saying things that only they can see from the outside! Hmph, all of them are just a bunch of stupid people!"
Florina's eyes widened real big. Feeling very much angered and furious, her lance suddenly appeared out of nowhere (ooo, scary) and suddenly launched a fierce attack on him. She caught Hector nicely since he couldn't do anything, no, not even managing to wield his axe 'cos as I say again and again, he's just too plain clumsy. While on the other hand, Florina was just bursting with new-founded power forged by waves of fury, her eyes were a deep red, her hair suddenly grew longer, and to top it off, a bright red death aura circled her body which had seem to grow thrice bigger…scary is just the exact word to say. The 'moral' of this flashback: never make people like Florina angry. She's a real living experience. (mwahahaha, I'm making Florina into a real monster!)
Hector cursed himself silently as he realised that he had spoken to the timid girl harshly unnecessarily. Then, as he somehow managed to block one of her attack with his now-bleeding fists, he frowned. "I don't recall this fighting part in Florina and my script. Hmm…did I say the wrong thing?" he muttered to himself. (huh…a script?)
Being the stupid fighter Hector was, he forgot to concentrate on the battle, resulting in him propelled to the ground, with a laughing-hysterically Florina on top of him. As she raised her lance to deal the finishing blow, she suddenly stopped and frowned. "Hmm…I don't remember being the Great One to finish Hector off…according to the scripts given, Hector was supposed to be finished off by Nergal. Nergal was ordered to give a special ten-in-one lunch box created by the Holy and Unholy One to Hector. Then, when Hector eats it without hesitation being the brainless oaf he is, he will die since it consists of special concentrated acid, alkali, bromine, sodium cyanide, sodium hydroxide, explosives, secret bombs…what was the otherthree more? Ah, never mind that. Anyway, that was supposed to happen three weeks later, so why…am I the one doing the job?"
The same thoughts occurred to Hector (thought of course he didn't know about him dying) and he spoke out loud. "Hey, did we mix up the script? It sounds a lot more different than the original script…"
"…Yeah, I think we did…but I can't rightly remember where…"
"Oh yeah! Now I remember! We totally messed up the script! Don't you remember? I was supposed to give you a worn-out lousy necklace to make you happy and forget all about beating me up! I messed it up 'cos I didn't have it, it got stolen by Matthew though I don't know why he would go after such lousy stuff…"
"Yeah, you're right! That was the stuff in the script! Oh no, we messed it up! How how? This is so terrible! …Oh wait a minute…"
"Hmm…the only solution I can come up with is to do it again. I'll ask Mark to rewind the time."
He received a smack on the head. Florina glared at him. "You're totally wrong! About you giving me that necklace was the earliest script given! There's a new version of it!"
"…Oh yeah! That's right! No wonder I thought there was something wrong…"
"Oh well, but there's something similar, and that is you are at fault for both matters. According to the newest script, you were NEVER supposed to insult me. Instead, your actual lines were "Oh Florina, you must have confidence in yourself! You're as good as your sisters! Swell and beat them up like crap man!"…You totally said the opposite.
Hector sweatdropped. "…Oops, my bad…So, let's just ask Mark to rewind the time! That should remedy it. I know he has a secret hourglass that he never showed us. I just saw it when I was on my way to the girls' bathrooms when we were in Ositia the other day."
"Pervert."
"Hmph, I bet you would too if you were born a man. Why, it's just too tempting! Ah, the sweet scent, the beauty of the…" The 'hentai' was interrupted as Florina slapped him hard. Hector protested. "Hey, what do you think you're doing, miss? You're supposed to be 'mild, gentle, sweet and shy', you know! Hmph, 'mild' indeed!" He snorted loudly to emphasize his point.
"It wasn't my choice, you brainless oaf! Mark made me into one! And don't you insult me again, I'll really kill you this time!"
"Oh yeah, try me man!"
"I am NOT a man, you idiotic pervert! Can't you see that I have nice body shape? Or are you just too blind to see my chest, huh!"
"Okay, fine! Stupid girl, then! And you think your chest is so nice? I'll be rolling on the floor now, laughing like hell! That time when I saw you in the girls open bathrooms your chest was ABSOLUTELY FLAT! You sure you're not just a 9 year-old-kid putting false lumps under your clothes now?"
"Why you…prepare for your incoming death! I promise I'll bury you in the deep depths of Hell!"
Screams soon could be heard…and that's the ending of the flashback.
So much entertained with her so-called 'fun' memories, Florina laughed out hysterically again. Why did she call it fun? Simple answer; she really did fulfill her own promise, and Hector was buried under the muddy earth. He was left there for two full days and was finally let out by Oswin when he was discovered missing and neither the game nor the fanfic could continue without him; so someone had to rescue him, otherwise he would have just stayed put there for his entire life.
"FLORINA!" A pink-haired cleric's shrill voice could be heard cutting the silent air as she made her way towards Florina.
"Huh?" By her own 'clever instincts', Florina snapped out of her thoughts and looked far ahead of her (which was the opposite way of where Serra had come from ). Her good eyesight made out a big furry dog (presumably female) running towards her. Thinking that the caller was this dog (though she didn't even stop to think why it would be dog instead of a human), she hurried towards the dog, at the same time bellowing loudly. "YES? WHAT IS IT? SPEAK LOUDER I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"No, I'm HERE NOT THERE!"
By the time 'the voice' said that sentence, she had already met up with the dog and she countered loudly. "HUH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING THE ROUND ABOUT? I AM HERE!"
Serra slapped her forehead. "Sometimes I wonder how some people can be so stupid sometimes…oh no, I mustn't say stupid! A noble lady that is admired and receives such high respect like me should not say ridiculous things like that! Dumb would be a preferable word…" The high-and-mighty cleric then exclaimed, "NO! HERE, LOOK HERE! LOOK BACK!"
Florina then turn back and finally saw Serra. Light FINALLY dawned on her. "Well…Lady Serra! Why didn't you say so earlier that you were behind me?"
"I DID! You DIDN'T listen to me! I said HERE and NOT THERE!" Serra countered indignantly.
"How on Mother Earth and Father Sky would I know what your 'here and not there' means?"
"Well, that's why you have such things as your hearing sense! Surely you don't expect a fair lady like me whose voice is so much loved by many to sound like this ugly, stup-no, dumb dog over there, huh? I must say I am extremely insulted by your actions, Florina!" Hearing Serra's insults to the dog, it growled ferociously at her, threatening her. Yet, it ran off like a cowardly chicken when Serra advanced with her staff in her hand…weird dog.
"Sorry then!" Florina didn't realise that she herslf had fired up unconsciously; all of a sudden she quickly remembered that she was suppose to act 'mild, shy, gentle and sweet'. "So, um…Lady Serra, why…are you here?"
"Oh yeah! I just remembered! Since Sain is now occupying your guest room for the moment (Florina's face turned into a deep shade of fury), you'll have to use another different guest room. So, the only guest room available now is the one directly next to Lord Hector's."
Florina couldn't believe her ears. "W…Wh…WHAT! You mean I'm living and staying near that fat, clumsy, idiotic pervert? NO WAY!"
"Well, it can't be helped. Sain is now sleeping 'soundly', so…" Serra winked at her. "Do your best in protecting yourself, Florina!"
"Huh…what do you mean? OF COURSE I can protect myself! I'll show that buffoon some manners if he dares to do anything to me!" her eyes flared a deep red. Serra backed off a little in fear, scared of this new-flaming Florina…
"Uh, I…I think I'll go now, okay? See you then Florina!" She quickly made her exit as her job was done.
Meanwhile, what about the fight between the four 'powerful' men? Well, they were still fighting and squabbling…like real kids who just wanted a worthless fight. But before they had started 'fighting', Oswin quickly suggested a better place to fight. "Let's not have this duel here."
Needless to say, their opponents namely Raven and Jaffar objected. "Hah! Who cares where is the venue? As long as I can bash your head right now, it's all that matters to me! And after I bash your head, I'll go after that pervert knight of yours…hey, wait a minute, where's he?"
"He escaped with the help of these people." Jaffar briefly explained.
"Well of course I know that! He couldn't have just disappear in thin air with the help of his fairy godmother's magic wand or fly away with a magic carpet can he?"
Hector sweatdropped. "You mean…you actually watched Cinderella and Aladdin?…Wow, I didn't know that!" He started laughing and laughing until tears of mirth rolled down his cheeks. "AHA…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!…Haha...Hey come on, Oswin, don't you find it funny too? I mean, this type of guy, watching such puny fairy tales?"
"Well…Lord Hector, may I remind you that you too did such things at a young age?" The general then replied calmly with a small smile on his face.
Now it was Raven's turn to laugh. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! Sucks to you!"
Hector's face in an instant turned sour. "Hmph, fine. Well, to go back to where we started, can we just fight somewhere else? I mean, here is just too limited. The space here is so small for we four. So, how about it?" Hector tried to convince them.
"Hmph, fine."
"…"
"Very well then, we'll have the match in the training grounds. Follow me, gentlemen." Oswin then led the way solemnly.
And as soon as they reached there, they decided the match. It was to be a one-on-one match. Hector vs. Raven, Oswin vs. Jaffar. Oswin later on explained the 'rules and regulations':
1) Not allowed to help or give any kind of aid to your friend.
2) Not allowed to bring in healing items such as Vulnerary and other non-weapon stuff. Only a maximum of three weapons
allowed.
3) No killing.
"Now, before we begin the first match, are there any questions or objections? Please raise up your hand if you wish to do so." Oswin began speaking like how a teacher speaks to children.
Without a second thought, Raven and Jaffar raised their hands and chorused together. "Objection to rule number 3."
"I want to get my revenge! Lucius isn't here to preach me and since we don't have an A support, I haven't changed my mind!"
"…Nino is mine and nobody else. Otherwise I can't get a couple ending."
"NO KILLING! If there is any attempt to kill from ANYONE, that person will be sentence to death immediately. UNDERSTAND, CHILDREN?"
All of them rolled their eyes. "Yes, mommy." ;
"Good. Now, let's start the first match! Lord Hector of Ositia versus Raven of Cornwell!"
Without wasting a second, Raven charged at Hector. He swung his Silver Sword surprisingly clumsily for a Hero and anticipating the attack, Hector dodged to the side and counterattacked with his Wolf Beil. He too missed partly because he was way too clumsy and his style was to familiar to Raven who had studied his attack style for a long time. (yeah, go Raven!) Unfortunately for the Hero, Hector had purposely faked the attack and quickly lunged at Raven with a Silver Axe. He caught Raven at the side and caused a slight injury on his body. Quickly getting up to his feet after a slight fall, Raven hurriedly dodged Hector's incoming axe and put some distance between them. He then used his ranged weapon to attack, the Light Brand. Seeing the incoming attack, Hector then decided to copycat him; though of course he used the Tomahawk instead; his sword class level was still at E.
Being somewhat and somehow stupid and careless, they were too busy on focusing on their attack against each other, causing them to forget totally about defense. The result: Hector's Tomahawk caught Raven nicely on the shin, causing him to collapse on the floor with circles in his eyes. "Ohh… I'm seeing bright yellow stars…and small cute angels flying around me in the air…is this the end of me and my crazy career of a Hero?"
While on the other hand, Hector too got the same result, though perhaps he…didn't fare as good. The Light attack caused a huge damage on him, and his extremely low resistance caused that since he never bothered to train on that side of defense. He was just too busy practicing his own style of fighting. Naughty Hector. So, the huge blue-haired lord got blasted to the floor, and he was unconscious the minute-, no, second he fell to the floor.
Seeing that the match was over, Oswin hurriedly bellowed for aid, deafening the too-silent assassin who was silently watching the match. "GUARDS! GET A HEALER HERE! HURRY UP! LORD HECTOR IS HURT!"
A guard then lazily dragged his ass to his captain. "Yes? What is it, captain?"
"I TOLD YOU ALREADY! GET A HEALER HERE AT ONCE! LORD HECTOR IS IN A VERY CRITICAL CONDITION RIGHT NOW!"
Shutting his ears, the poor guard continued talking. "But sir, are you sure that it isn't just some sort of cut or something like that? If I remember correctly, all the time you called for the healers it was only to heal minor stuff like small cuts and light bruises. Why, there was even a time where you called for the highest-ranking healer just to heal a small tiny scratch on Lord Hector's hand! The same also went to when…"
"ENOUGH! IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME, THEN I'LL JUST GET A HEALER MYSELF! JUST YOU WATCH OUT, YOUNG MAN! YOU MAY JUST FIND YOURSELF WITHOUT YOUR OSITIA BADGE AND ARMOR ONE DAY!" The now very-angry general stomped off, muttering to himself as he hurriedly 'ran' with that big chunk of armor of his. "Young people nowadays…so disbelieving and lazy…not paying attention to orders given by superiors…what in the name of Mother Earth and Father Sky is the world coming to now?"
The ignored assassin 'Angel of Death'just shrugged. Knowing that his match would never come to pass for the mean time, he just left silently. The guard who had been left alone now looked at the training grounds arena and saw two unconscious men who could easily have been mistaken for dead people…and screamed his head off. "AHHHHH! ALERT! ALERT TO ALL OSITIA GUARDS! ATTENTION!"
And that was how the first day of the crazy happenings ended. What will happen on the next day? No one knows…
A/N: So, chapter 4 is finally done with. I know that I really took a long time to complete this, I've been a little lazy lately…anyway, I know that some parts in this chapter are not humorous, such as during the fight between Hector and Raven. I couldn't really see how to make it a real battle yet containing humor. And I do know that I left out the match between Oswin and Jaffar, I didn't mean too but as I typed it down, the storyline sorta went its own way…so I'm sorry if readers are a little disappointed.
I took a little from the HectorxFlorina A support, though of course I did change it to make it funny (though I wonder whether it really is funny or not). Please tell me if you like or hate this story! Also, I would like if readers can tell me whether this fic is just a plain crappy fic that's just trying to make it humorous or something like that. Reviews are again and always greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my story! (bows and walks out)
To reviewers:
GSFE: Yay, I'm glad someone likes my idea of the story!
K-Gforever: Well, I did put the 'brawl' between Hector and Raven but not the other two…so I'm really sorry if I
disappointed you. Thanks for reviewing for all my chapters so far!
lordmaquareion: Um, I think my writing style is not really stable yet…I think this chapter is probably more on the serious-humor…but I'm not too sure. Please tell me what you think.
ChibiHeart: Yeah, I liked the part about Matthew being bald; I think that was one of my funniest parts so far. Chapter 3 may just be my best-written chapter so far.
Finally, to all reviewers, a big 'THANK YOU!' to you for reviewing and giving your ideas and comments. It really gives me support and inspires me to go on writing! Thank you!