To hitokiri angel, my chatting pal 3R15UK0UM31, wutai flea, Ashcat7, shabtab, FlowersSunshine, Merciless Ruby, xXxNoodlexXx, my good friend Mizuki's Star; for their reviews; SilverRedBlossom331, SUNSHINGIRL; for favoriting; Devil-Teddy, AzureZephyr, my good friend fuzzibuniez, HahynGirl and Sin Piedad; for alerting! I'm truly glad you like it, people. I am authentically surprised it's popular so fast! Thanks, you all. I apologize for having taken so long to update. First, this is priority two for me. Second, I just started college a month ago and I already have to squeeze time to write. T.T Anyhow, I won't stop this now that I started it so don't worry about that. Oh, I included some humor this time.
Translation:
Yare, yare = Expression used similarly to 'Oh, dear' or 'My'.
Communication
Ulquiorra felt himself in a true dilemma.
The mysterious woman's odd ways helped him to understand Orihime Inoue better but she certainly left him with tons of inner questions.
Do I like her name? Do I want to be happy? Do I no longer believe in Aizen…Sama? I can't even add the suffix in thought anymore? That just cannot be… Just what does that woman want from me? I have no idea how to get throughout this series of events. It's a waste of time; and I am too short on it. I still can't find logic in anything that woman says. It's irrelevant if I no longer believe in Aizen; I'll end up dying under his command no matter what. Why would I rebel now, then? What difference would it make? Is she trying to manipulate me with her words? But what would she earn from doing that? Why is it that I cannot doubt what she says even though I want to? (…) She did say this would be a trial but this is simply too much. I am not the kind of being that can pass this test satisfactorily. Perhaps I was just never the right option to receive a second chance… (…) How in the world could I possibly focus on that goal she wants me to reach in order to be 'happy'? Orihime Inoue can't possibly trust me… What can I do then?
Ulquiorra stood up from his bed and walked to his overstocked bookcase. The fact that a bookcase of 15 shelves and 2 meters wide wasn't enough to hold all of his books says a lot.
He had read so many books to be able to do a satisfactory job with the prisoner he was to take care of. He thought maybe submerging in human psychology books would help him find an answer somehow. He was right. One minute later he found a key word: Communication.
He had thought about it before. But now the question was: How was he to establish communication with her in the current circumstances?
He rumbled through the books' information meticulously and still wasn't able to find the answer to his question.
He then grabbed another book and opened it in the page where the index was supposed to be. Instead, he found the following message:
Ulquiorra, I am sure you're aware you won't find the answer to your inquiries written in a book. I wonder if you understand your actions might lead someone who doesn't know you well to think you're naïve… Anyways, it isn't likely you'll know what to do thinking about it. Because you don't understand Inoue Orihime, you cannot predict the ways in which her reactions will show. Ulquiorra, there is nobody that is entirely prepared to live because no one decides whether they will be born or not. Simultaneously, no one knows what to expect of their life. Life is really an adventure, isn't it? Just like in any adventure, you won't always be given the opportunity to think before acting. Many can say they'll do their best not to act before thinking, but this is an inevitable thing both for humans and you; it is part of every being that can perform actions. And guess what, Ulquiorra… Yes, this is one of those moments in which thinking won't get you anywhere and you just have to try without practicing. In other words, get to her room this instant. Don't stall on your way there and don't think about what to say. When it comes to it, you should know what you must do or say naturally.
While this is something that could've freaked out many, this only made him wonder with even more interest who this woman that was suddenly manipulating the strings of his life and thoughts could possibly be. She definitely wasn't human.
I cannot simply do that. It's not rational and it can only lead to more confusion and more undesirable situations. – He refused mentally.
He then placed that book back on the shelves. Maybe he'd get rid of it later. He took another book and opened it in a random page; where what he found said:
Yare, yare… Feeling rebellious, Ulquiorra? One wouldn't think this coming from you. But it just so happens I'm not 'one'. The punishment for rebels is to amuse me. That is why, dear Ulquiorra, you either get out of this room in ten seconds or something amusing will happen. Of course, only I will find it amusing. It'll be a bit of a different story for you. ^^
Was she threatening him?
'Something amusing'? I don't understand this woman in the least yet she says the one I should try to understand is Aizen's prisoner. I cannot let her do with me as she pleases. Just what am I to her? Why would she help me be 'happy'? Is she doing this all for her own amusement, then? What is this favor she talked about? What is it that I could've done in the past? (…) If only I could remember anything at all…
Suddenly, a small piece of paper fell on top of his head.
He looked up and his eyes only saw the usual white ceiling. Where had that paper fallen from?
He noticed something was written in it, just like a fortune cookie paper. It read 'Time's up. Lucky numbers: 4'
'Time's up.'?
Before he could say anything else inwardly, music far from belonging to his taste and two human girls appeared into his room by no clear explanation; though people that believe in fantasy could say they appeared by magic. But that wasn't the main problem. The dark and blond-haired girls were barely wearing clothes; just some red and black rags to partially cover their chest and butts. Moreover and way more importantly, they were dancingmorally indecently around him; invading completely his personal space.
Ulquiorra's eye twitched as his only reaction. But inwardly, he was experiencing havoc. The way they danced, the way they were dressed, their faces covered with heavy make-up; making them look indecent and artificial, the music playing…It all disgusted him. He felt greatly disgusted about this all but yet he was frozen in motion. Among all the chaos inside his mind, he was blank about what to do or how to react. He was about to push them away from him…But this was not all this particularly uncomfortable situation was to bring towards him.
Just like the two dancing girls had, another person 'poofed' into his room.
-Heh? Well, I'm surprised, Ulquiorra. – He said with his grin getting even wider. – I hadn't seen this side of ya. I like it.
He then walked and tapped on the blonde girl's shoulder. She turned around and he could have a better look at her; even though his eyes were closed as usual.
She was a buxom, blonde girl with clear blue eyes. She was reminiscent of someone to him but this girl's plastic beauty certainly couldn't be compared to that of someone's. Nobody's could, at least not to his eyes. Who knows what was it about that someone that he knew he'd never find anyone that he could like better.
Despite the nature of his thoughts, his grin never disappeared. It never did.
-So darling, show me your moves. – He said.
She laughed and danced around him.
Why? Why did Gin Ichimaru had to appear in his room? Ulquiorra would've much preferred that to be Nnoitra or even Grimmjow!
Apparently, someone had read his mind…Again.
All of a sudden, both Nnoitra and Grimmjow appeared into his bedroom…But Gin was there too.
-Huh? What the hell?! – Grimmjow exclaimed. – Why did I just appear in this place?
Both him and Nnoitra looked around. Everything was neat, dull, white, there was a bookcase that looked as if it would explode with books any minute. They both got to the same conclusion mentally: This had to be Ulquiorra's room.
They looked around more and noticed Gin dancing with a human buxom girl in revealing red clothes and Ulquiorra was staring at them, frozen, while a girl in black hair and a black costume was dancing around him.
Nnoitra grinned.
-Well, Ulquiorra, I confess you got me. I really thought you were just the dull pet of Aizen. This is pretty interesting.
He then took the girl that danced around Ulquiorra and got her to dance around him.
Ulquiorra was only partially relieved to have his space back but felt disgusted. He already had her scent of smoke and cigarettes all over him.
-Human girls are just as meaningless as other humans but this is about the only thing they're interesting at. – Nnoitra spoke with a perverted voice.
-Yeah, this might be slightly interesting, but I freaking hate you, Ulquiorra. I refuse to be in this area that stinks like you…
As he was speaking, he trailed off when a box of pizza 'mysteriously' appeared in front of him. You could tell his mouth was watering.
Without saying another thing or even looking at whom he considered his rival, he started devouring the pizza. Yeah, he'd never forget the fateful day in which he found a slice near a soul he had just devoured at the Human Realm in one of the many times he sneaked on Aizen. He had only tried a piece because it looked really good. He wished he could try some more and now he had a whole box for himself.
-Humans eat real disgusting things sometimes. – He said between bites with his mouth full; much to Ulquiorra's already disturbed nerves. – But you know? They also have freaking good stuff!
This was pretty much outrage. His room was a place he considered private. There had never been anyone other than him in there before that woman appeared in his life. He suddenly recalled her message and could even hear her voice saying: The punishment of rebels is to amuse me. Well, if this wasn't punishment, then the only other name he could think of was 'torture'. This was unbearable.
He knew just who was to blame for this all and also knew what to do in order to get out of this all. Although reluctant to go there because he didn't know what to do or say yet, even that human's presence was preferable over this trio's.
Without looking at either person in that room, he walked to the exit and closed the door behind him.
He laid his back against the door for a second. It was silent and quiet outside and it felt nice.
In the wall opposite to his door, there was an engraved message:
I told you you wouldn't find it amusing. ^^
Below the message was an arrow pointing towards the direction he didn't want to go.
Ulquiorra was a very patient person but now he was inwardly struggling to keep his composure. This woman had actually managed to make him sense anger. He only recalled one other person getting him this upset, that was the very man who had ended his existence as an Arrancar.
He resigned himself to go to where the arrow pointed. He guessed that if he did otherwise, she'd do another 'amusing' thing; which he had learnt he did not like in the least.
Other than annoying, that situation in his room had also made him feel a strange and foreign sensation. He didn't know what future awaited Gin, but he knew what would be of the other two. Although he wasn't sure if Grimmjow had died yet when he had, he knew he'd be defeated and knew Nnoitra had long met his end. Had he gone to Soul Society? Either way, those two were always idiots to his eyes.
All three of them were not people he liked having around. Gin Ichimaru's undying grin per se disturbing but what he said and the way he said it sometimes made him believe he knew something he shouldn't.
Both Nnoitra and Grimmjow were always obsessed with fighting to become stronger. Nnoitra to defeat Neliel Tu Oderschvank and Grimmjow to defeat him. Both of them had annoying laughter and arrogance. Perhaps what made Grimmjow Jeagerjaques only slightly less undesirable than Nnoitra Jiruga was that he had some degree of honor. Grimmjow would always seek to become strong by defeating others and never allowed his Fraccion to interfere in any of his battles. He took his opponents seriously and would think of nothing else other than becoming stronger. He also refused to fight someone that was already too hurt while he was fine. But Nnoitra, although he didn't really let Tesla interfere with his battles either, didn't display honor in that aspect. Nnoitra, like Grimmjow, wanted to be strong but he also loved the feeling of power and destruction. Either way, he still didn't like either of them. Nnoitra was always too simple minded. He never realized there were many ways in which he could become stronger but he firmly insisted on doing things in the one way he knew the former Tercera didn't approve. Grimmjow's attitude towards Aizen wasn't respectful enough from his point of view and the way his eyes would look after every fight was always the same. They were expectant. It was as if he was expecting some answer to come to him by being victorious. In a way, Grimmjow wanted more out of his life but didn't know what to expect or how to know that. Perhaps that was the reason he wanted to survive so desperately.
Ulquiorra was musing about that all and suddenly realized something. He sounded as if he were envious of them. That was illogical. What was there to envy about those two? They were inferior to him in rank as Espada; even though he could've ranked higher if Aizen had seen just to what extent his powers could get. He was definitely stronger and more powerful than them. He had Aizen's favor over them. He was obviously smarter than them. Just what could he possibly envy about those two?
His CD of thoughts was changed as the door to her room came into sight.
He stood in front of her door without an idea of what to do. That woman had mentioned he should apologize, though… But how?
Yet another fortune cookie paper was falling from above. He grabbed it and looked above. Again, all he found was the usual ceiling. Just what kind of powers did she have? He read the paper.
Go inside, already. Because you amused me greatly, I'll be nice for now and not force you to apologize right away but you do have a deadline, Ulquiorra. Now, you won't get anything done while facing the door. Just be cool and remember not to see things objectively and with an eye that judges for how logic things are. Because this situation involves you, you must allow yourself to be subjective.
He sighed to himself and knocked the door thrice before coming in.
There she was, staring outside the window. Her head only half turned in his direction before looking at the eternal moon again. She was avoiding eye contact. He stared at her form illuminated by moonlight for a few moments.
The silence in the environment was heavy and tense. She kept staring outside vehemently and he knew the reason.
-They won't arrive in a while. – He told her.
She turned towards him. She expected him to be angry about the slap. She herself was surprised at what she had done; it was unlike her. Still she didn't regret it. He didn't seem mad to her eyes.
Can he even feel anything? – She wondered.
-What do you mean? – She asked confused.
-Your friends. You're waiting for them to come but they won't arrive yet. It'll take them a while.
-How can you know that? – She asked.
-I just do.
Something felt wrong about him. In the short time she had observed him, it was in her understanding he was not the kind to say anything without basis. So he did believe in premonitions after all?
-I thought you had said it wasn't logical to say anything that's not fundamented. – She defied.
-I do have a basis on what I said. – He retaliated with slightly narrower eyes. – It's just that I cannot tell you what it is.
-Why should I believe anything you say?
He used Sonido to appear right in front of her.
She was slightly surprised but still looked at him with defiant eyes. This wasn't the first time she looked at him like that and now he could confirm he didn't like that look when upon him.
-How can you do it? – He asked the question that had been on his mind for some time now.
-How do I do what? – She felt confused by how he just changed the topic.
-How can you simply trust others? Humans tend to betray with relative ease when they think it's best for them. Is it that you do not fear betrayal?
-My friends would not betray me. – She defended firmly.
-How can you be sure of that? – He asked with his probing green eyes directly looking at her bluish-grey ones.
-Because I've been with them long enough to know that. – She didn't blink in his presence.
-That cannot guarantee they won't end up hurting you to their benefit.
-And how can you tell you won't be used by Aizen in the end? – She defied again.
-Aizen – Sama. You cannot address him without his suffix. – He scolded.
-I've heard you call him without his suffix before. – She retaliated.
His fist loudly closed.
She gazed down, as if preparing to receive the hit but she didn't show remorse for having said those words either.
It was his duty to take care of her and keep her in line, but that method was not going to get him anywhere to understanding her. Now, he wouldn't have minded so before, but now that he knew what would become of him, he was starting to take duty differently. He didn't really know what to think of himself anymore. Could he still consider himself a servant of Aizen? Did he really not believe in him anymore?
She was past confusion. The Arrancar that was standing in her very front with little space between them was puzzling. When he kidnapped her, he looked at her like a clearly inferior being. Then when he gave her the white clothes she wore, he seemed confused himself. Then when he led her to the room where Aizen showed her the Hogyoku, he seemed like a different person already. A while ago, he was acting more like the time when he brought her here and now he was here asking questions out of curiosity. Now, what? Was he going to get violent and hit her?
Kurosaki – Kun… - She called in thought to give herself endurance and strength. Whenever he thought of him, she couldn't help feeling admiration for how much he can endure; not just pain, but so many other things. She recalled how he used to be before Rukia Kuchiki appeared in his life to change it. His frown was more noticeable and he seemed to carry a huge sadness over his shoulders while pretending to be strong. But now he no longer had to pretend, he was strong for real. She couldn't help admiring how much determination he had out of mere friendship. I know they'll come.
Finally, Ulquiorra kept his cool and calmed himself. Suppressing her was not going to let him communicate with her. To establish some relation with her in which he could communicate in order to observe was his current goal.
-I am in a different position than you, woman. – He answered earnestly.
Orihime looked at him with wide eyes but also relieved he was not showing aggressiveness.
-And I am aware Aizen…Sama is using us for his purposes but I serve him out of gratitude for power and to survive.
Orihime's gaze lowered.
-And you're OK with that? – She asked unexpectedly.
-I don't have to be alright with it if that's what it takes to continue existing.
-I don't think it's right to subject others to an obey-or-die situation…! – She said. – Then why keep living if that's all you can expect of life?
-We are not humans. We don't have that kind of feelings.
-Then you think you're machines that have no personal desires or goals?
-Having desires or goals comes after survival. It is basic for that survival to come only those that are strong. And because we're different, the way we reach our own goals is different than the methods you humans use.
-That is why I know my friends will come. – She said.
-How is that even related to my statement, woman?
-With my friends, we support each other because we care for each other's lives. If one has a wound, we heal it. If one isn't strong, they're protected. Our relationships are not that of obey-or-die, but fight-to-protect. We've endured things together and we've developed the wish of everyone's wellbeing. We've fought to protect that before and I know we will always fight for that principle! Because things are not like that here, you do not understand it. – She didn't understand where she was getting so many guts from but she was grateful she had them.
If Ulquiorra was not Ulquiorra, he would've gasped.
So it all came down to them living in different contexts? Was the answer so simple?
-Having done things before does not assure that they will always be done that way.
She looked away.
-You wouldn't understand.
-Woman, my intelligence is superior to yours. How could I not understand?
-Because you don't believe in feelings. – She said as she turned to him.
Her words were as serious as her expression.
He looked away a second. Something about the weight of her expression felt uncomfortable to him.
-I don't have feelings like humans do. I let go of that long ago.
-I cannot believe that. – She said. – I can only believe you don't realize you do and therefore don't express them.
That expression she wore was only getting more intense. He didn't know how to react anymore or what to say.
He furrowed with his closed hand the side of his hakama.
This side of her was strong-willed and unbreakable.
He turned 90 degrees to look away from her.
-For a human, you turned out to be interesting, woman. – He told her before completely giving his back to her and walking to the door.
-Why do you insist in calling me 'woman'? I feel like an object. – She said.
-It is not my obligation to make you feel good, woman. – He said as he exited the room.
Orihime sighed heavily. Forget her confusion about that mysterious man that made no sense, she was no longer sure what she herself was saying.
What happened just here? I had told myself I wouldn't tell him a word next time I saw him. Yet I feel I spoke too much. Why was he asking me that? Was he curious? Does he feel curiosity, then? Why did he even come here just now? He acts as if he had a personality issue… Just what does he want from me? Is there something he wants to do to me? Is he trying to confuse me and manipulate me…? I cannot let that happen. I know Kurosaki – Kun and the others will come… Will he understand why I trust them then? And why do I feel uneasy when he calls me 'woman'? Ulquiorra Schiffer… Was it me or did he smell like smoke and cigarettes? Do Arrancar smoke?
She then turned again to the barred window to observe the moon that never disappeared to muse. But this time, her thoughts were occupied by that mysterious character. What was she supposed to believe of him? She despised him yet she couldn't help herself and eventually found herself thinking too much about him as she tried to figure him out.