Dedicated to Bokmal16, xXhitsugayaXx, thegoodfolk and roystealer for alerting, to Ryuma Omega and blackrose914 for favoriting and to Bella, Kavyle, Mizuki's Star and hitokiri angel for reviewing. And yeah, if you've read KISA, you know I love flashbacks. :D
Information note: For those that don't know, 'Ichigo' also means 'strawberry' in Japanese.
Captor and Prisoner
Ulquiorra again lied in his bed while staring blankly at the blank ceiling of his impersonal room, thinking about what had happened not two hours ago.
X Flashback X
-She seems different from other humans. – He answered after a pause. – But that does not mean she matters to me in the least. She's a human after all. Humans are trash in the end.
-You disappoint me, Ulquiorra. – Her whispered words felt like a dagger in the middle of his forehead.
She turned on her heel. Without facing him, she continued.
-Stubbornness does not lead anywhere, you know? – Her words sounded hurt.
He could only see her walking away and disappear.
X End of Flashback X
Why am I certain she was hurt? Because of her voice's tone? But her voice didn't tremble or beckon any pain in her. Is it because of her attitude? While it she seemed to suddenly change, she still looked like herself. Then why? Why is it that I am certain she was hurt? (…) Why did I disappoint her? Isn't she the one that forced me into this all? How can she expect me to just change for the mere purpose of understanding a human? Humans per se are trash.
X Flashback X
-Let her hear your own voice calling her name, just like hers called yours. – She said.
-I should not. – He replied. – I am her capturer and she is the prisoner. Me calling her name would have a psychological effect that would eventually make her conclude I care about her.
-Don't you? – She asked bluntly. – You are trying to understand her, after all. Not being capable of understanding her was your greatest regret at your last moment. You asked her if she feared you twice. Does that not beckon that you wanted her answer to change? Does that not imply that you cared?
X End of Flashback X
I myself cannot answer those questions. Moreover, she talks as if she knows the answers herself but she still asks for them, and she asks them from me. I don't even know why I want to understand that woman. Why do I spend so much of my time in her? It's ludicrous.
You do remember your time is limited, correct, Ulquiorra? – His mind replayed that line ceaselessly.
I will again have to face with Ichigo Kurosaki and again I will be destroyed…All for the sake of understanding a human? Why am I trying so hard for her, a human girl? That woman told me in the beginning that my future 'happiness' depended on this. But it's not like she gave me another choice. Besides, I hardly believe in happiness as something worth it. As far as I've seen in the Human Realm, humans struggle for it all their lives and suffer countless times for it, and, if they ever get a grasp of it, they lose it before they know it; it just slips away from them. The unhappiness they went through lasts, perhaps, ten times more than their fragile happiness. Happiness itself is only composed of instants, instants that hardly last much. Still, humans are willing to dedicate their whole short lives to that purpose. Why is that they find it worthwhile? If it's going to go away, would it not be better to not go after it at all and just stay in a place where they are merely just fine? (…) Despite being aware of this, I am still trying and I still feel the need to understand her, that human that is supposed to be trash to me…Orihime Inoue.
Meanwhile, Orihime was in her room, sitting on her couch while fiddling with her hakama's fabric in deep musing.
Just why can't I stop thinking about what he said to me? So I'm trash to him; that shouldn't be anything new. In fact, that was predictable… Then why did it surprise me so much when he said it?
X Flashback X
-I'll repeat to you it is not my duty to please you. You are a prisoner and my job is to merely make sure you are well. I will not call a human by her name because, in the end, all humans are trash.
X End of Flashback X
He doesn't seem me as anything other than a part of his duty. Still, it's like he only wants to analyze what I do. Why? Does it have anything to do with whatever Aizen is planning for me? (…) That must be it! I cannot allow that to happen. No matter what…Kurosaki – Kun…
She suddenly gasped.
X Flashback X
-Why do you never call him 'Ichigo'? Isn't that his name? If he is your friend, then why are you so formal when addressing him? – Ulquiorra asked.
-K-Kurosaki – Kun… - She stuttered flushed.
-I dare you to call him by his given name. – Ulquiorra defied out of the blue.
To call him by his given name? How am I going to do that? (…) Why don't I have the courage to?
-I… I will not. – She opposed weakly.
-I don't understand why. – He said. - I don't understand why you think you can't. It should be within your verbal capacity. Why can't you pronounce a mere name, woman?
-Then, why can't you pronounce my name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She defied.
X End of Flashback X
Her hands closed into tightly closed fists and crumpled her hakama.
-I-I-Ichi…Ichi… - She stuttered and then gave up.
Why? It's just a name… - She thought sadly. – Why can't I say it? It's only 3 syllables. It's like saying 'strawberry'!
She sighed and then turned to look at the moon behind her window's cold metal bars.
Why can't you pronounce my name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? - Her mind repeated what she had used as her shield to make Ulquiorra leave her alone continuously for several minutes.
Is 'Orihime' hard to pronounce?
-Why can't you say my name, Ulquiorra Schiffer? – She whispered.
Her head started aching shortly after.
I don't understand why, but I get the feeling that I've thought about Ulquiorra more than I really have…It's like I've met him for longer than I have and I feel I have seen him differently too… Has he asked me if I fear him?
Ulquiorra was at the front of her door again. He wondered if he could take even more questions. And, doubtlessly, a lot more questions would emerge if he paid her another visit. Hopefully, he'd get about one answer too. For the moment, that was all that he had clear. In order to accomplish his goal, or whatever he was supposed to call it, he had to establish communication with the human.
Just as Orihime was thinking about what was previously narrated, her room's door opened. The very Arrancar that occupied her thoughts stood there with his silent presence.
After a few awkward seconds of staring blankly at each other, he sat in the same couch as she did.
Orihime felt a shock travel down her spine as he sat next to her… Well, actually, not too close. He was at the opposite end of the couch, almost trying to push the end's side so the distance between their souls became greater. It was both eerie and laughable.
Ulquiorra was aware the mysterious demigod-like woman was capable of seeing what they did. She was, most likely, laughing at him that moment.
A couple of minutes ticked by in yet more profound and more awkward silence. They both stared at the opposite wall, not quite sure of how to look at the other and both felt tense, somehow. Orihime, though, ventured to look at him with the corner of her left eye every other second.
-Why do you always come here for no apparent reason whatsoever? – Orihime finally let out.
-It is part of my duty to check on you. – He used that as excuse.
I knew it. I'm nothing more than that to him. – She pondered, oblivious to the fact that he had lied. – I must stay calm. This must all be to get information about me or something.
She merely nodded in response.
Ulquiorra scowled inwardly. Why was she not asking him anything unlike before? What now? Was he supposed to ask the questions? What to ask her? He didn't like this. This was a situation in which he didn't know what to do, a frustrating sensation he hated, and he had no way of just going with her flow because she was not saying anything…
-Is something wrong, woman? – He asked at last.
-Is there anything I wouldn't find wrong in my current situation?
Ulquiorra turned his head to her slightly. Had she just used sarcasm with him? Ulquiorra was certain humans didn't use sarcasm with people they respected…
-Remember your place, woman. – He scolded softly and without harshness, but gravity was not lacking in his voice.
-Of course. – Orihime replied while turning her entire glare's attention to him. – I am the prisoner and you are the captor. How could I forget that?
Ulquiorra could hardly believe this girl had made him speechless. Now what was he supposed to reply to that?
-I am merely doing what I was ordered to, woman. – He retaliated.
What am I defending myself for? – He asked himself.
-I still think it's not alright. – She said.
-What is? – He asked her attentively.
-You told me you follow orders because you must in order to live. You live to obey. I still don't agree.
-Your consent is not necessary for Aizen, woman. Remember I am your captor but he is your master.
Orihime turned her face to the wall again and remained silent again.
Just as he was thinking it interesting how she did not deny it, she talked again:
-It's true. – She said, surprisingly. – Aizen has my life in his hands. – She then turned to him. – Just like he has yours.
He was at a loss, yet again, about what to say. Those gray eyes felt like daggers. Because her words were exact, he had no excuse as to tell her to shut up and no motive to berate her… Still, those words felt insolent to him. In a way, she was stating he was like her. And, much to his dislike, she was right.
-I do not mind being in my position. – He answered. – I have no interest in being 'free' as you would say.
-Freedom is something many people have died in order to get. – She said. – I cannot believe there is someone who would not think something is wrong if they were prisoners.
Ulquiorra hastily stood up. He didn't know why, but he felt strange with her words and didn't think he could take them any more. So he left without even sparing a glance to her.
Orihime saw him close the door behind him and suppressed a scream. If his job was to get data from her, he was doing a simply weird job. She felt confused as he left without saying anything.
Just what am I supposed to think of you, Ulquiorra Schiffer?
-Do you realize you just wasted a good talk with her? – A familiar and recently disliked voice asked.
He turned to her frowning. He had to shake off the urge to raise an eyebrow and stare at her blankly. As usual, her clothes were different from before. Yet again, she copied Orihime's image. This time, however, she wore her white uniform, just like the one he had seen her wearing seconds ago.
-Woman, it is not my obligation to understand that girl! – He expressed upset. – I don't have to sit there and listen to anything she says.
-So not only did you not progress, you even moved back. – She scowled; her dark blue eyes acted resentful.
He looked sideways and refused to say anything to her. This was the most humane reaction he had shown of frustration so far. That was good; there was that at least.
-Did you even think about what I asked you to think, Ulquiorra?
-There is nothing to think about. I called her trash because she is human; that is all there is to it.
-Don't lie to me, Ulquiorra. – She looked at him gravely. – You are perfectly aware she was hurt by your words.
-She had no reason to be.
-You also know that, despite that, she still was hurt and shocked. You know very well that what you told her was wrong, so I am not even going to tell you anything about it.
He turned to her, slightly surprised. He could tell she wasn't lying.
-More importantly, I don't think you yourself realize the reason you're angry, Ulquiorra.
-I am not angry.
-That would be a lie, Ulquiorra. – She said serious. – I suggest you don't deny it. I have already told you. Our amount of time is limited and is not growing any longer.
Ulquiorra gulped. That woman's seriousness had a knack for getting to others easily. If he were just a normal soul, he'd fear her.
-Now, you should be convinced that you can have emotions; your anger is proof of it, and it has a reason.
-What reason?
-It is very humane to get angry when we do not like the truth.
-I'll repeat to you I am not a human, woman. – He replied. -
-And I'll repeat to you you once were, Ulquiorra. I'll also repeat to you that you are being stubborn by being so reluctant to call me and Orihime – San by our proper names.
-'Stubbornness doesn't lead anywhere', was it?
-To put it in words you understand, stubbornness is not an intelligent thing. Only foolish and inexpert humans hold on to it thus vehemently.
Ulquiorra turned to her, furious at what she implied. He reached for his zanpakuto to unsheathe it. He was just tired. He couldn't take any of these senseless things anymore. He much preferred to end things right then and there. It is not likely I'll ever understand that woman anyways.
The enigmatic woman frowned and extended her arm forward.
Ulquiorra was supposed to show his blade but that didn't happen. His hand, that held the sword's handle, was empty. His katana had vanished. Ulquiorra could but widen his eyes in shock. Inside, he knew from the beginning it was useless to resist. While he knew he was powerful, it was clear she was out powered him, though her powers manifested differently.
-I believe I had made it clear before that rebelliousness is futile, Ulquiorra. – She said with a slight grin and yet she had some sweat her forehead's side.
-What did you do with my zanpakuto, woman?
-That should be the least of your worries. – She said with scolding harshness.
-Just what do you want me to do, woman? – He said defiant.
She stared at him. He could tell she was struggling to control herself. She was getting mad at him.
-Just what do you think we've been doing all along, Ulquiorra Schiffer?! – She shouted at him.
He didn't flinch for her voice's high pitch, but he dared not to speak as he saw the intense heat in her ocean-colored eyes.
She took a deep breath and stared at him again, more recollected.
-I know the reason you are upset, Ulquiorra, but do you know it too?
Silence was his reply.
-Like I was telling you, we get angry when the truth is not of our liking. You are aware Orihime – San is right. You are pretty much Aizen's prisoner.
-I already told that woman I do not mind.
-You lied.
-I didn't. – He scowled.
-If that was the truth, you wouldn't have gotten angry as you heard her.
-Her words did not upset me; I simply did not like them.
-Why would you not like them if you are supposedly just fine with what you are?
-I am a servant, not a prisoner.
-A servant serves because he wants to. A prisoner serves because he has no choice. Have you forgotten your own words to her? Do you not recall telling her you served him to survive?
He was mute.
-What other conclusion would you get from that if not that you are a prisoner?
-I might be a prisoner, but I am not like her.
-You two have that in common. But, indeed, you two are not the same. At least you got that right. Aizen can just decide you will no longer live and he can do as he wishes with you. It is the same for her. You know well Aizen views you as a tool for his plans. Didn't he say before you took over Las Noches and fought Ichigo Kurosaki that she was just a tool for him too, in order to get what he wanted? And despite that, you two are still different because you do not see things the same. Orihime – San does not like this and longs for freedom; anyone would in her place. You, though, think you are being grateful to him for turning you into what you are and see this as a payment.
-I am not a prisoner. – He insisted while speaking softly despite the hurricane that was creating chaos in his mind.
-Yes you are. – She corrected solemnly. - It's just that you don't realize you are. But the girl behind that door has brought this issue into your attention and now you are in conflict with it because you don't wish to accept it. Again, we're going back to our concept of reality. This is in conflict with your reality. So much stress and confusion have been accumulating inside of you all this time, Ulquiorra. This was just the last straw for you. Hence, you enraged.
Ulquiorra looked down. His forest green eyes trembled. He just couldn't traverse anything she told him. Deeply, it always hit him that her words were not false. At least, most of what she said was true.
He did not like to feel the way she made him feel. It was as if he was powerless against her. Moreover, she knew more about him than himself and it was exasperating him, an Espada renowned for his ability to remain calm and think rationally… Then it hit.
He managed to suppress a gasp but he definitely gaped and shuddered at the realization. He turned to her shell-shocked.
She closed her eyes.
-So you have finally realized? – She then opened her eyelids to reveal eyes of one who sentences. – Yes, Aizen is not your only master. You are my prisoner as well. – She then proceeded to walk slowly towards him. - Without asking you anything, I rewinded time and put you into this trial. I didn't let you oppose and I have been telling you what you must do and even forced you sometimes. That makes me your mistress.
She halted when she was inches away from him. Her eyes never left his and her look did not allow him to blink.
He understood that he was the prisoner and she the captor… All this time, he thought of himself as the capturer of Inoue Orihime, but he was a prisoner of someone else at the same time.
-Again, being your mistress, someone with control over you, does not mean I am like Aizen, thankfully.
She softened her eyes that moment and he could finally blink. He also gasped. He had not been breathing.
She…She's right… I am a prisoner…
-Aizen uses you for his sake. I am not using you. I am merely returning the favor I owe you.
After a pause, he regained speech but could only whisper. He wondered if she knew that and that is why she had gotten so close to him. The proximity was strange but, oddly enough, he didn't hate it either. As a matter of fact, it had an incoherently familiar sensation to it.
-Just what is that favor you always bring up, woman?
She blinked. Her eyes changed dramatically. They were in reminiscence. Most likely, she was thinking about that favor.
-You will know at its due time. – She replied.
-How come I don't feel as your prisoner? Your words barely make sense even though they are not illogical and show reasoning behind them.
She smiled. This smile was not like any he had seen in her before. She looked like a different person. Oddly, that smile also felt familiar. Why? – He wondered.
All of a sudden, he felt as a couple of arms embraced him.
-What are you doing woman? – He whispered huskily.
-I am certain you know what a hug is, Ulquiorra.
-Why are you hugging me?
-Because I feel like it. – She stated as if it were obvious…Well, it actually is obvious. – Also, this shows you I am not like Aizen. Just like you are a prisoner but not like Orihime, because what you search for is not the same as her. But you'll know what she searches for when you understand her. Two people are never the same. Saying they are is like saying one cannot be two things that are opposites to each other. Yet, you are a captor and a prisoner.
-I don't understand you either, woman. – He said.
She chuckled quietly and broke the embrace.
-You know, Ulquiorra? It is common knowledge to return someone's hug, too. – She laughed.
Before he could reply and say hugs per se are irrelevant, she extended her arm again. In front of him, his vanished zanpakuto materialized again.
-I believe you have calmed down enough. – She said. – You may now place it by your waist.
Ulquiorra hesitated before taking it and slowly placed it at his side. He then stared at her. This woman intrigued him at times. Like Orihime, he sometimes felt the urge to know more about her, too. But it wasn't as if he could even understand that human. He thought it unlikely to figure out a much more intricate woman like the one that stood in his front.
Strangely, all harshness was gone in her visage.
-And Ulquiorra, it saddens me to hear your thoughts. – She said softly and looked at him with the most fragile eyes he had seen her wear yet; it was unbelievable. – 'It is not likely I'll ever understand that woman anyways.' That is what you thought. Even though you've gotten so far from where you started, you still don't have faith in yourself?
Ulquiorra's eyes softened for a second. She had hit right on target.
-Why is it so hard to believe in yourself?
-Because me and that woman are too different.
-We are all different! – She exclaimed. – We all have differences among ourselves but we have to learn to live with them. Nobody will ever change that fact. And, I just highlighted for you one thing you and her have in common as Aizen's prisoners.
He couldn't look into her eyes that moment but he wasn't looking down either. He set his eyes on her necklace, the one thing she always wore, no matter which outfit she put on. The only solid knowledge he had about her was that she never took it off, not even when she bathed…That white gold necklace from with a crescent-shaped pendant made out of a beautiful red ruby. It seemed familiar too… Why was it that everything about that enigmatic woman seemed familiar all of a sudden?
-I believe in you. – She said honestly. – So why can't you believe in yourself?
-Why do you believe in me?
Her eyes grew bigger after hearing his question. She looked as if she had not expected it… OK, she was really weird that night, like a different person. Now it just so happened he had the power to surprise her? Indeed, his interest in her only grew every time they spoke.
-I cannot help believing in you. You believed in me in the past, even though everything signaled against it. One day, I realized I simply began believing you were a great man. That image of your living self might seem like it contrasts who you are this moment. But I don't think that is so. I cannot believe that who you were just disappeared. True, people change. But I just know that you are still there. Yes, that is only what I want to believe. Yet, even after all I've seen this far in this test called 'second chance', I have no doubts you are still the one I met. I can't but believe in you.
Ulquiorra listened keenly. She had positively lost him. She talked as if in an epiphany. For the first time, he could say her words were illogical. It was as if she were talking more to herself than to him.
She brought him out of trance by shaking her head as if to wake herself up. She blinked repeatedly before staring back at him.
-I apologize, Ulquiorra. – She sounded sad. – I cannot really tell you in detail why. But don't doubt that I believe in you. That is all that matters for the moment.
She then cleared her thoat.
Ulquiorra was at a loss as to what to think of her after seeing her act so uncharacteristically.
-Moreover, Ulquiorra, Aizen and I are not your only masters. There is still someone else.
He frowned and looked straight into her eyes as if she had just talked to him in another language.
-What do you mean by that?
She grinned. That grin was definitely more like the ones he was used to see in her beautiful face. (He couldn't deny she was beautiful even if he wanted to.)
-I can only give you a clue. – She said somewhat playful. – My attire should be a generous hint as to the identity of your third captor.
Just by glancing at him, she knew he did not believe that.
-Nonsense. In what way am I Orihime Inoue's prisoner? How could I be her prisoner when I am her captor? How could an Espada be the prisoner of an unthreatening human adolescent?
She chuckled a bit.
-It's funny how you call her an adolescent. How old do you think you are, Ulquiorra?
Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes.
-I am perfectly serious, woman. – His voice came out louder. – You are not making any sense with your words.
-Of course. – She grinned.
He knew by looking at her eyes that she was hiding something from him and it probably concerned him. He hated that look.
-Just think about it, Ulquiorra. – She said before walking away.
Ulquiorra, fuming, turned on his heel. He was going to go to his room but, shockingly, he was no longer in the hallway.
He looked around. He stood in the highest rooftop of Las Noches. The view included all lower rooftops of the castle as well as a far view of the sandy desert that surrounded him for 360 degrees. It looked like a beige ocean with the dunes being reminiscent of waves.
The view of the moon Orihime had from her room could not compare to the view he had of it now. He was much closer to it, though that was insignificant, for it is so precious that no one can even touch it from there. That is why it is so far. To get to it, one must dare to approach it; despite the intimidating distance, it is not impossible to set foot on it.
From above, a piece of paper fell. He looked up and there was no ceiling, only the dark starless sky. That made her trick only creepier but not less intriguing for Ulquiorra. He proceeded to read it:
Good results need good brainstorming. I believe the results we've had while you muse in your room are not too bad but we need to pick up a faster pace. So, Ulquiorra, from now on, this will be your place to muse. It's nice, isn't it? You're welcome.