Here it is! Hyde's confession! Hmm… what oh what will they do behind the locked door? Hope you like it and please review!

And gah-linda, I would never write Hyde with a moustache because, well, I thought it was gross. Only a stripper would like him with one of those (hint hint). Although I was fond of the beard. Made him all rugged and sexy : )

Chapter 5

Previously… So Hyde let the woman he loved intertwine her fingers with his and lead him into the room. He closed the door behind them.

Jackie's heart was racing. She could actually feel her blood heating up in her veins. Every inch of her body was straining to bring them closer together. She felt his body heat and it consumed her, making her mind glaze over and the room spin. Her thoughts went fuzzy with each passing second they were together.

And he wasn't even touching her.

He wasn't even looking at her.

'Stupid, zen bastard,' Jackie thought, attempting to control herself. Why was he so hot right now? Why was he making her like this right now? She wanted to be angry with him, wanted to hate him so that this would be easier, but those feelings were quickly evaporating, leaving lust in their place. And the lust was growing, driving her crazy with desire.

Hyde sat down on the edge of the bed next to Jackie. He forced himself to look away from her. How could she possibly be so composed? All of his self control was working to its fullest extent to keep him from jumping on the dark-haired pixie that sat with him. He was craving her again, in a way that made him crazy, a way that swallowed him entirely. His head was starting to fill up with that fog again, that "Jackie" fog that he knew so well. It clouded his mind so that all he could see, smell, taste, feel was her and it made the world melt away.

Hyde tried to remember what he was doing there. He was thinking back, reaching for some distant memory that could explain how he ended up sitting on a bed with Jackie but all he could focus on was the single lock of hair separate from the rest of the curls that were pushed behind Jackie's ears. This one was resting lightly on her tanned shoulder. He stared at it, from the tip that was partly falling into the top of her blouse, all the way up to place where it disappeared into the rest of her hair. He wanted to wrap it around his finger, push it aside and cover the skin it had hidden with kisses.

Hyde shook his head. 'No,' he thought. He couldn't do that until he talked to her. He had to fix this, he had to make it right. He glanced at the woman that had him mesmerized and was startled by her intense stare. He recognized that look and tried not to think about what it meant for them if she was wearing it while watching him. He shook his head again and took a deep breath. Mistake, he thought as Jackie's scent filled his lungs. She was waiting. It was now or never. Hyde stood up.

Jackie watched apprehensively as man she was undressing with her eyes paced in front of her. Stop it, she ordered herself. But she had been without him for over a year and being so close to him again was giving her shivers (and dirty fantasies, but she was having a harder time ignoring those). He had been pacing silently, but suddenly turned to Jackie, startling her.

"I've never been one to talk about my feelings. Or much of anything. My parents never wanted to know what I was thinking, in fact, I'm pretty sure they forgot I existed for the most part unless they crashed into me on their way out the door. So I learned from them that feeling can only lead to pain. They drowned out their pain with alcohol and it made me think that if people needed to do that because it hurt too much to feel, than I would be one step ahead of them. I wouldn't feel at all." Jackie opened her mouth but Hyde held up his hand to stop her. "Please, baby, let me finish. This is hard enough for me to do all at once, I don't want it to be dragged out." She only nodded, dumbfounded. She found herself wishing she had a tape recorder. "And it was working. I had friends and girls liked me and it was okay not to care about them because caring was a feeling. I had cared about my parents and that got me nowhere. So left them after getting what I wanted and that was that. I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel sorry, I didn't feel anything. And then you walked into the basement with Kelso. And I felt again. First it was hate. I hated you like I'd never hated anyone before. You were so self absorbed, so snobby, so full of yourself and it drove me crazy. I could never figure out why you, out of all people, were the one that got to me so much. Hours after you'd dragged Kelso out of the basement, I was still burning with hatred for you, and for myself. Because if I felt so much for you, even though they weren't exactly happy feelings, what did that say about me? And I kept hating you until I asked you to prom. I told myself and everyone else I only did it to shut you up, but deep down I knew it was because I couldn't stand seeing you so broken. I mean, you weren't supposed to feel either. You had always seemed like a cold-hearted, non-feeling bitch. But seeing you cry like that snapped me out of it. Because that meant that you felt, too. You have no idea how much that thought scared me. I thought the only thing we had in common was our ability not to care. And if you could care so much, then couldn't I care, too, no matter how much I didn't want to?"

Hyde took a deep breath. He hadn't meant to go through all of this, but it had come pouring out the minute he opened his mouth. She had always had that effect on him. He glanced at her and somehow found the strength to go on in her astounded expression.

"Your tears were the only thing to ever get past my zen armor. After the prom, I kept acting like I hated you because it was part of my image. I drank beer, I bitched about the government, I hated Jackie, I was zen. It's what was expected of me. But Kelso kept breaking your heart and you kept running to me. I've never told anyone this, but I kinda liked that you did. It made me feel needed and I'd never felt needed before. Then you finally ended it with Kelso for good. And, well, you know what happened." Hyde smiled at the memory. She had been so hot that day, in her tight black jeans. And every day after that.

"You were making me feel again. Only this time, I didn't hate you. This time, I was craving you constantly, practically counting down the minutes until I could touch you again. And if realizing you could care had scared me, this terrified me. I was depending on you, I wanted you, and the thought of you leaving me made it hard to breath. Especially because I knew I was too far gone to tell you to stop before I got hurt. So I didn't. I kept it going with you and hoped that when you left I would be able to convince myself it would be what I wanted. But you never went along with my plan. You didn't go back to Kelso, even though I was expecting you to at any second. And finally, when you told me you loved me, I let myself believe you really did, and that you wouldn't go back to him. So when I saw you two on the couch, it hurt so much more than anything I had ever felt." Hyde stopped pacing and knelt down in front of Jackie. He took her hand and looked anywhere but her face. "It wasn't even seeing you two together. It was knowing that you could make me feel so much that scared me to death. To feel this much because of someone else and have no control over it was mind-blowing. I didn't want to feel anymore." Hyde hesitated. This was getting harder. Jackie squeezed his hand encouragingly. He closed his eyes. "That's what the nurse did. She made me not feel. You have no idea how badly I want to take that back. It was the absolute worst thing I have ever done and I hate myself for it."

Jackie was numb from feeling so much from his words. She placed her hand on the side of his face and smiled when he leaned into it. But he wasn't done yet.

"I should have told you how much I loved you when we got back together, and every day after that. But I was so scared you didn't completely forgive me. I was scared you would throw my mistake back in my face if I ever messed up. I know I shouldn't have thought that but I did. I knew what Kelso's cheating had done to you. I knew when I did it too, it was so much worse because you thought I was better than him. Which is why I thought you would leave me, because it still hurt you. And you kept talking about marriage." Hyde shook his head. "I still can't believe you want to marry me. I kept saying I couldn't see a future with you because I was sure the one you saw with me was one where I was a successful businessman and we had a big house and plenty of money and I knew I would never be able to give you that. But I'll try, Jacks. I don't want to be scared of what you make me feel anymore. I love you so much and-" Jackie couldn't take it anymore. She threw her arms around his neck and smothered his mouth with hers. He stood from the floor, taking her with him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingers into his hair, moaning with pleasure into his wet, open mouth.

Hyde was drunk from Jackie's kisses. He let his hands roam her body like he had been able to so long ago. One hand drifted up her shirt and he shivered at the smoothness of her bare skin. He let out a sharp breath when he felt Jackie's hand making its way down his chest to his belt buckle…

To be continued…

I know, I know. I ended it just when it was getting good. But the more reviews I get, the sooner I will update! And I accept anonymous reviews now, so don't hold out on me!