I am SO unbelievably sorry for the amount of time that has gone by since my last update! My stupid life got in the way of everything. And I am also really sorry for having J/H drama so soon after they got back together (I know everyone hated Jackie's tantrum), but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to make you guys a little nervous : ) But no worries! Things will be resolved soon enough!

Once again, I love my reviewers! All of you are so great and encourage me to keep going with this story, even though it's getting completely out of control (I really have no idea where it's going). Thank you so much for that. Although I think you should know fanfiction is seriously cutting into my study time, so my next chapter might not be up for a couple of weeks. Again, so sorry!

Chapter 8

Previously…

"Please, Steven, tell me not to go to New York. Tell me to stay here with you."

"Jackie, I cant do that," he replied softly.

"Why not?" she spat. "Do you even want me to stay? Was I just some stupid lay for you, is that why you said what you did last night? God, you don't even care do you!" With fresh tears in her eyes, Jackie pushed open the door to the Hub and ran out into the sun.

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Hyde was motionless for several seconds, before he finally came to his senses. He jumped up and ran out the door after her, blinking in the bright sunlight. He yanked his glasses off his t-shirt and put them on. He looked around.

"Damn it Jackie, where are you," he muttered to himself. He was heading toward his car, thinking she might be on her way to Donna's and he could catch her before she got there, when he heard a whimper from behind him. Hyde spun around and saw Jackie leaning against the wall in the alley next to the Hub with her eyes shut tight. Her shoulders were shaking and her small hands were curled into fists by her side. He immediately walked towards her and cupped her face in his hands.

"C'mere, Jacks," he said quietly. But she shook her head violently and tried to stop crying. Hyde pulled her into his chest and held her tightly but she stood stiffly. Why was she doing this? She knew he loved her, and she had to be crazy to think that last night was a one night stand. She must be upset about something else, although he couldn't imagine what.

Jackie let Hyde hug her but she was too depressed to hug him back. She was so tired. 'When did I let myself turn into this?' she wondered. She felt a tear squeeze itself out of her closed eyes and roll down her smooth cheek. His chest seemed to vibrate when he spoke.

"What's wrong? Why are you mad?" he asked, so softly she had to smile. Jackie pulled away from him and leaned back against the wall.

"I'm not mad at you Steven, I'm mad at me." He looked at her questioningly. "It's just…you turned me into the kind of girl that does anything to keep her boyfriend with her at all costs. This past year I've been more independent than I've been my whole life. I was finally doing something for myself, I was earning what I gained. It felt so good knowing the only person I needed was myself. And it scares me to know that all it takes is one night with you to turn me back into the Jackie that had to depend on someone else for happiness," she said, avoiding Hyde's eyes. "It's not that I don't want you to make me happy, or anything, it's just that, if I'm willing to give up my whole future for you, how am I still my own person? I finally lived by myself with no guidance and no one to tell me what to do. I think you gave me the strength to do that, but now you're making me want to throw it all away so I can stay here with you."

Hyde didn't know what to say. This girl always made things more complicated than they had to be.

"Jackie, it doesn't have to be like that. You can still be independent if you're with me. I'm not gonna make you stay here, I don't want you to stay here if it means giving up your future," he said.

"But that's the problem," Jackie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I know you're not making me stay here, but I want you to make me stay. I," she closed her eyes, unable to believe she was saying this, that she thought it was true. She almost didn't say anything, but before she could stop herself it came out. "I want to stay with you, I want you to make me stay with you, even if it means throwing my life away, because at least that way when we're older, I'll be able to blame you for keeping me here." She winced and shut her eyes tighter. "Does that make me horrible?"

Hyde stared at her, leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. "You're scared," he finally said. She looked up at him defiantly.

"Of what?"

"That you'll fail," he responded, completely astounded that she felt that way (but more surprised that he figured it out). Jackie scoffed and shook her head.

"Oh, no, no, no. You are so wrong. I am not scared of failing! I am Jackie Burkhart. Nothing scares me. Why would I be scared?" she said, flipping her hair. But he knew she only did that when she got defensive, when she was trying to hide herself. Her bitchiness was her version of 'zen.'

"Because you've never failed before. You've gotten what you wanted your whole life and you don't think you can do something on your own. But you can, babe, I know you can." Hyde saw her face soften as her façade fell away and at last she let him see the fear in her eyes. He gently tugged on her sleeve and pulled her to him. Jackie finally relented and let herself be comforted by him. She wrapped her arms around Hyde's waist.

" I don't know if I can do this," she whispered.

"You can," he replied quietly.

"I don't want to be scared anymore," she mumbled into his chest. He stroked her hair.

"You don't have to be, doll."

x

Jackie leaned against Hyde as he led her into his room. They hadn't said much on the drive from the Hub. He took off his boots and climbed into the small cot. Jackie smiled sadly and slid under the covers facing him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she slid one leg in between his, tangling their limbs together. Jackie pressed her forehead against his and sighed.

"What are we gonna do, Steven?" she asked in a small voice. She watched him close his eyes.

"I don't know, babe," he responded tiredly. "Let's just go to sleep."

Jackie closed her eyes, but opened them again after a few seconds. She sat up.

"Jackie, what are you doing?" Hyde asked, slightly annoyed.

"I'm so sorry Steven," she whispered. "I didn't mean anything I said back there at the Hub I just-" She took a shaky breath and shook her head, not knowing what to say. "Are you mad at me?"

Hyde shook his head in disbelief. For someone who was so full of herself, her insecurities ran deep. He put his hand around her neck, tangling his fingers into her hair, and kissed her hard. She moaned and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. Hyde lifted her onto his lap and Jackie pressed herself down onto him, making him hold her tighter. He pulled away, still keeping her face inches away from his own.

"Never," he whispered, before lifting her up off his lap and down onto her back. He eased himself down on top of her and kissed her deeply. She pulled him closer, running her fingers through his hair, and returned the kiss with everything she had. After a long time, they broke apart, breathing heavily. Jackie stared into his blue, blue eyes, feeling like she could get lost in them if she looked for long enough. Hyde gazed back at her, until he finally rolled to his side of the cot. She snuggled up against him, smiling when he wrapped his arm around her, and fell asleep to the rhythm of his breathing in her ear.

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Eric read Donna's letter again, trying to figure out what could be happening to her to make her write this. He shook his head and tried to retain the words beyond the first line. Something about driving around for hours without leaving Point Place (how the hell had she managed to do that?) and being tied down to something that wasn't worth it.

Him?

No. She wasn't talking about him. She couldn't be talking about him. He was worth it. She was always telling him he was worth waiting for, that she loved him enough to wait. When had become her burden instead of her support? Eric crumpled up the letter in his hands and threw it across the cramped room. Didn't she see he was doing this for them? Didn't she know he was here in Africa so that he could be everything she deserves? He knew she wanted to go to school, but he wasn't stopping her. She didn't have to break up with him to do that.

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But she did. She believed that with her entire self. Donna knew she would never go to college unless she had no obligations, nothing to hold her back. And as far away as he was, Eric was still keeping her there, suffocating her with the rest of the ones that never escaped Point Place. She had to break them completely so that she wouldn't feel like she was leaving something behind. So she did. Donna packed all of her things rapidly, knowing she had to go before anything could change her mind. She walked quickly from her closet, a pile of flannel shirts balanced across her arm, reading a section of the Madison newspaper. She dropped the clothes into her suitcase and leaned over her desk, circling an apartment listing from the newspaper. Donna reached for her phone and dialed the number. She was finally free.

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(I know this is totally random, but I'm really bored.) Earlier I tried to write a one shot with the song Just Like Heaven by The Cure, but while I was listening to it I realized it was the perfect Jackie/Hyde story exactly as it was. I honestly could not think of anything that needed to be added. So, I think every j/h fan should listen to it (and every other song by The Cure, because they're amazing). I know probably no one will, but I can hope.