Chapter Four:

Damon sat perched outside Elena's window, waiting for her to open up. She opened the window for him and pulled him inside.

'Well hello to you too Elena, do you want me in your company that badly?' Damon said as he stood one side waiting for her to close the window again, a smirk on his face.

Elena sighed and rolled her eyes when she faced him again. 'None of your little remarks right now, Damon. We are going to have a serious conversation here.'

She pushed Damon backwards and forced him to sit down on her bed.

'I like where this 'conversation' is going.'

'Damon, please, just be serious for a few minutes.' Elena snapped at him.

Damon frowned and nodded his head. 'Alright, spit it out whatever is bothering you this much.'

Elena paced in front of him trying to figure out where to start first. She stopped and looked down at him, her mouth opening to say something but then snapping shut once more. Her pacing was starting to annoy Damon and her silence was making him uneasy.

'Elena spit it out!'

She stopped in front of him and let out a sigh.

'Okay, it's about last night and…what happened on the…on the porch.'

'Oh….right that,' Damon replied running a hand over his neck as he looked away from her.

'Jenna told me that we apparently kissed but…I know it wasn't us because of what I came home to so I was able to put two and two together on that one.'

Damon looked up at her and frowned. 'So then what exactly do you want to know about last night?'

'What were you doing here in the first place?'

'I was….having a….sincere conversation with Jeremy. I told him about…Anna. They took her away last night and…I watched her get killed. I wanted to take it all away from him but I wanted him to make the decision.'

Elena looked down and then back at Damon. 'Anna's…dead?'

Damon simply nodded his head, recalling the pain he could see in Jeremy's eyes last night.

Elena shook her head to try and clear her thoughts of that. She really couldn't handle dealing with that right now too so she pushed it aside.

Elena sat down next to Damon on the bed and looked at him.

'Then what happened?'

'Well I left after my failed attempt at doing the right thing and I ran into, well who I thought was you.' Damon replied looking over at Elena.

Elena swallowed her heart racing.

'And…what happened then?'

'Well her and I spoke…had a little 'soul bearing' moment there. Basically I thanked her, which was meant to be you, for…'Damon sighed and looked away.

'For what Damon?'

'I wanted to thank you really for thinking that I was worth saving,' Damon replied looking at Elena again. 'I mean Bonnie didn't save me because she wanted to, she saved me because you decided somewhere along the way that I was worth saving and she knew you would be upset if she didn't. So…thank you Elena for…well thank you.'

Elena felt her heart seem to swell in her chest at his words.

'You're welcome.' It was all she could say.

'Wow, this has a little air of 'Deja-Vu' to it.' Damon replied, standing up and beginning to pace slowly.

'I'm guessing at this point the kiss happened that Jenna witnessed.'

'Yeah, well it started as a simple 'thank you' kiss on the cheek and then led to…well the kiss your aunt saw.'

Elena nodded her head, frowning slightly as she thought about all of this. She was upset because she wanted to be the one to hear his exact words. She knew Damon had a good side and he only ever seemed to show it around her. So to have seen that would have been…well it really would have been something. She's not certain if the simple kiss on the cheek would have turned into an intense kiss between the two of them because she didn't know what he had said to Katherine…that and her and Damon were simply friends but there was still the possibility that the situation, had it been her and Damon, would have still played out the way it had. She was angry now that Katherine had robbed her of that encounter, not because she wanted to experience the kiss, although her mind seemed to wondering what that would be like, but because Katherine had robbed her of being able to see the softer and good side she always knew Damon had buried deep down inside of him. She shook her head slightly to try and keep her mind focused on what she had been robbed of but her mind seemed to want to focus on being robbed of that kiss too.

Damon sighed and leaned against the wall, watching Elena as the silence filled the room. He didn't know if she had anymore questions about last night so he decided now would be the time to tell her about Stefan.

'Well seeing as we're sitting in silence I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it.'

Elena looked up at him and frowned.

'What is it?'

'I heard your argument with Stefan today before you left. I confronted him about it and…well I hate be the one to tell you this but…he didn't break up with you because he thinks you've…well you know…fallen for me. He did it so he could go and find Katherine.'

'What!' Elena exclaimed and stood up walking over to Damon, her eyes filled with anger, disbelief and hurt.

'It's true Elena. He got really pissed off when I pointed that out. I should have seen it ages ago but I didn't. I was focused on my own hurt at being deceived the way I had been by her. I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you this but we both know Stefan never would. I've never lied to you or kept secrets and I wasn't about to start now. You deserved to know the truth.'

Elena looked away, her eyes burning as the tears began to flow, her throat closing up as she began to breathe heavily, her heart racing and with each beat the pain seemed to intensify. She turned away from Damon and her legs began to give way beneath her. Damon moved swiftly and caught her before she fell and as she wrapped her arms around him she burst into sobs of heart ache.

Damon carried her over to the bed and laid her down. She would not let go of him and tightened her grip around his neck. Damon knew this was going to be a long night so he got a little more comfortable on the bed and held Elena close, his hand running along her back as he whispered to her that everything was going to be alright. He could feel her pain and anger flowing off of her and it was so intense he felt as though he were suffocating beneath it. Eventually Elena calmed down and her breathing became steady. Damon looked down to see her asleep with a frown on her face. He wasn't used to seeing her asleep with such a pained expression on her face. Every time he had been in her room watching her sleep she was peaceful, her features soft and smooth. Damon ran his fingers across her forehead and watched the frown disappear. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

'I'm so sorry for the pain you have suffered Elena,' he whispered into her ear.

She stirred slightly and he felt her body shiver as his breath brushed across her skin.

He smiled slightly at this and if it were under normal circumstances he probably would have done so much more but she was hurting and right now she needed her…friend there to comfort her. She didn't need the arrogant, cocky, eternal stud there trying his luck with her. Damon let out a soft sigh and looked up at the ceiling, absent mindedly running his hand along Elena's back as she slept.

He wished he didn't have to be the one to have told her that, wished his brother would grow a spine and tell her himself but he knew his brother too well already. Any situation he did not want to confront or admit to it being the truth he would hide behind lies. It was like that when he went off the tracks with the human blood not too long ago. He thought he was fine, he didn't need to tell Elena about being back on the human blood because 'he had it under control'. Damon shook his head as he thought about those words. That was like any other addict saying they were under control, that they weren't being controlled by their addiction. Damon knew now why he didn't have friends because being a friend was sometimes not so great. It wasn't great when you had to be the one to tell your friend that her boyfriend, who happened to be your brother, lied to her about why he broke up with her. It was even worse when you happened to be in love with your friend and you didn't want to do anything that would make her regret being your friend. Damon looked down at Elena's sleeping form and sighed. All he wanted to do right now was tell her to forget about his spineless brother, tell her he loved her more than Stefan ever would and kiss away her pain. But he couldn't do any of that…he wouldn't do any of that because she didn't need that complication thrown into the chaos that had become her life. This wasn't really the way he thought this conversation was going to go tonight. He thought she'd maybe ask more questions about Stefan and why he'd want to be with Katherine and why he would lie to her, but Elena didn't…but he was sure she would and he needed to be prepared for that too.

Damon was feeling rather comfortable lying on Elena's bed, holding her close, something he never thought he'd ever be doing. Fair enough he wasn't holding her in the way he had always imagined he'd be holding her, he'd imagined it being under happier circumstances and not an embrace to try and comfort her broken heart, but he'd take what he could get. Damon was about to fall asleep when he heard the front door open downstairs. He knew Jenna was home and she would not be pleased to see him lying there on the bed after what she saw last night. He placed a quick kiss on Elena's cheek as he heard Jenna coming up the stairs and then swiftly and quietly left the room through the window. Damon walked down the road to where he had parked his car. He leaned against the side of his car and let out a sigh as he ran his hands through his hair, looking along the street, watching the people walking by and picked up the sweet smell of Elena's perfume on his jacket. He closed his eyes as he inhaled it. He pulled out his phone and found her number. He decided it would be best to send her a message telling her why he left because he knew in her state that if she woke up now and found him gone she might have a bit of a break down.

Elena,

I had to leave because Jenna came home and I'm sure she would not have liked seeing me lying next to you on the bed. I'm sure you'll have a lot of questions when you wake up so meet me at The Grill when you wake up.

Damon.

Damon sent the message and looked at his watch; it was already six pm. He could spare an hour or so and he would use that time to confront Stefan at home. Maybe now that he was a little calmer they could have a civilized conversation. Damon got into the car and headed back to the boarding house.

Elena sat up and looked around her room, a frown on her face. She had been so sure Damon had been here. She grabbed her phone to check the time and noticed the message. She read it and let out a sigh before lying back down. It made sense, Jenna would have made a big scene if she walked into Elena's room to find Damon on her bed considering she had apparently witnessed them kissing.

Elena ran a hand through her hair and got up from the bed. She shuffled off to the bathroom, feeling as if she had just been hit by a truck and when she looked at her reflection in the mirror she made a face of complete and utter disgust. She looked just as terrible as she felt. She turned on the shower and then peeked into Jeremy's room. She frowned when she found it empty. She hoped he hadn't gone on another downward spiral like he did when their parents died. She sighed and closed the door to his bedroom before getting undressed and getting into the shower. She stood still beneath the spray of warm water, her eyes closed as she thought about…everything. She had been so sure the conversation would have played out differently, that she would be able to settle some emotions she was feeling, clear her mind of thoughts she didn't want to be thinking about, like the ones about the kiss Jenna had seen. But instead she just had a whole new pile set down on another plate and she felt like she was going to crack beneath the weight of them. She felt her chest tighten and her eyes began to burn as she thought about it all. She was not going to cry again. She had done enough crying for now. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and began to wash up.

After what seemed forever in the shower Elena was finally ready to get out. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and dried herself off. She grabbed another one for her hair and then walked into the bedroom to get some clothes. There came a knock at her door just as Elena finished slipping on her boots to got with her choice of dark jeans and a long sleeve red top.

'Come in,' she said as she continued to dry her hair off a little with the towel.

Jenna opened the door and leaned against the door frame.

'Where are you going to?'

Elena sighed and stood up from her bed and walked to the bathroom. 'I'm going to meet Damon at The Grill.'

Jenna rolled her eyes as she followed Elena.

'Elena he's not-'

'Jenna don't tell me he's not good for me or whatever it is you're about to say,' Elena said in a stern voice and then sighed. 'Look I know you're worried because of what you saw last night and…I'm going to talk to him about that tonight. It wasn't supposed to happen and he knows that I'm sure. But he is a good guy Jenna…it's just not something he shows often and he's a good friend to me and I don't want to lose him so please…just…don't be so quick to judge him like everyone else does.'

Jenna sighed and nodded. 'I've always trusted you to make the right decisions so I'll respect your decisions and your judgments about him. But can I ask one thing?'

Elena nodded.

'What drove you to kiss him in the first place? Was it something Stefan did?'

Elena felt a lump form in her throat at the mention of Stefan's name and she just shook her head.

'No it had nothing to do with Stefan…I guess I just got caught up in the moment,' Elena shrugged. 'Maybe there was always a part of me that wanted to know what it would be like to…kiss Damon.'

Jenna smiled slightly and then nodded. 'Alright, well look just don't stay out too late and if you happen to see your brother please tell him to come home.'

Elena frowned. 'You haven't seen Jeremy?'

Jenna shook her head. 'He left a note on his desk about going out for a while but I haven't seen him at all today.'

'If I see him I'll tell him.'

'Thanks,' Jenna replied with a smile before walking out of the room.

Elena didn't want to think about Jeremy right now but she placed the thought carefully in the back of her mind. She turned around and began to dry her hair.

Once she was ready she grabbed her jacket and her bag. She picked up her cell phone and sent a message to Damon telling him she was on her way to The Grill. She made her way downstairs and out the house, ready for whatever may come of tonight's discussion. She needed to get all of this off her chest because she was tired of feeling like she couldn't breathe.