Alone

"Leah?"

I hear a harmonic sound call my name and I snap out of starring at the grand fire place smacked bang in the middle of a long patterned wall. I slowly turn my head to the miniature figure which held such an angelic voice.

"Carlisle is ready for you now." The little figure was Alice Cullen. She was speaking to Jacob rather than me although what she was saying applied to me. But to be honest she was right to talk to him rather to me, I'm not entirely focused at the moment, and my body reacting faster than my mind is. My heart seems to be working a hundred times stronger than normal and usual my heart rate is abnormal anyway, seeing as am immortal, but this is just ridiculous. What is it, I'm I scared or just anxious? There's nothing that could go wrong with a couple of test right?

I'm slightly overly concerned now and my eyes have shifted form the fire place to the white patio doors on the other side of the room. Trying to figure out how quickly I can get through the doors without being too stopped by Seth or Jake. But the look Jacob's giving me right now means he's already sussed out my plan and he's alert and ready if I try to do anything stupid, and just I had expected he uses his warning voice to verbally warn me.

"You ready Lee? The quicker you get in the quicker you can go home?" I look away from Jacob to the small figured girl I never liked so much or acknowledge and found a small encouraging smile, a feature I haven't seen much of and I sigh miserably. I stand up rather quickly and feel like I'm going to fall. I have no energy, I haven't eaten properly in a few days and my body is slowly shutting down. The room spins round me continuously and I end up falling back into the couch. A hurried crowd surrounds me. Although am barley a meter away from them their voice sound so distant, as if they're miles away from me.

"Leah?" Jake, I know it's Jake for sure he's voice is the one to sound most panicky.

"Leah?" he rings again.

"Lee? Leah? Talk to me, Leah? Oh my god she's dead, Lee?" but maybe I was wrong for Jake to be most panicked, of cause Seth, my flesh and blood will be overly panicked. Because if he lay here instead of me unmoving, eyes shut, barely breathing, I'll be going crazy, and he's certainly gone berserk.

"Lee? Oh Lee please wake up, you can't do this, not to me, not to Mum! Leah? Leah?" I try to pull myself up, to open my eyes or to say something, but am too drained; my sugar levels must be below average well as average as it can be.

"Woo, hey calm down. Give her some space." I hear some shuffling going on and suddenly something cold touches my wrist; the cold sucks the warmth from my wrist, almost as if it's pulling my blood along with it, it's painful, a pain I've felt before…

My eyes shoot open; I find myself standing, hands in front and in a matter of seconds a loud crash is heard, glass shattering. I find Jacob starring mouth open straight ahead at something; I follow his glaze over to what seems so to horrify him. The blond one, Rosalie Cullen, she's lays down on the floor surrounded by glass smashed into millions of tiny microscopic piece. I watch her pull herself up from the marble flooring, straighten out her clothing and swiftly, with one finger, pull the strand of hair away from her face. She glares at me, with the corner of her mouth twitching, human feature that she must have stuck with over her transformation. Her eyes squint into the thinnest line possible. I realize that my arms are still stretched in front of me, hands flattened, frozen. I pull them back to my sides and glance over to Seth whose brow is squashed so far down I think his face is in danger of being moved down towards his neck.

Did I push her? Did I push her into their glass wall?

I had felt her finger tips above my pulse, she was just checking if I was just alive or not. Have I been that affected by him, I did this? Rosalie's face finally relaxes out of the squint and a chiming sound is heard throughout the room, and its' coming from her perfectly shaped mouth. She laughs and moves out the puddle of glass, her cream four inch heels causing the glass piece to shatter further, if possible. She stops laughing and the corner of her mouth turn up slightly. Behind her, most of her family silently gathers round, floating in, barley making a noise.

"Well, now I know to never touch wolf." She looks at me, only speaking to me. I don't say anything. I just look at her blankly, and blink very slowly.

"Let's get this mess cleared up shall we?" Esme says as if she's asking and quickly looks over to her husband, Carsile, he nods swiftly.

"Leah..." He steps over the puddle of shattered glass towards me.

"Miss Clearwater I think we will be better of upstairs?" he raised an eyebrow hopefully just like Jacob had yesterday. I sigh and nod slowly. I make sure I don't look anyone in the eye as I walk over to the stairway which no longer had a right side wall. I should say sorry, but sorry means a conversation and a conversation means staying her longer and all I want to do is know the results and walk out the front door. I place a foot on the first step and I'm stopped by someone warm handed this time.

"Seth?" I step back rather annoyed. He scratches his hair line.

"I figured you might need help y'know…" I roll my eyes.

"What, up the stairs?" I say sarcastically.

"Yeah seeing as what had happened, you need a little help"

I look a Seth and he looks so concerned it breaks my heart a little. But I don't need help; I'm not handicapped, delirious or physically unstable. I'm just a little run down lacking energy. But I can certainly go up a flight of stairs.

I think.

"Fine but don't go thinking I need you around constantly when I'm going up the stairs." He links his arm with me help me up the stairs. We reach the top of the stairs and I can vaguely remember the hallway from my last visit. The big expensive paintings and the beautiful flowers aligned in their perfect vases. Then I noticed something that wasn't here last time I was here. A small girl on the other side of the corridor, her head peaking around the door sneakily, as if she's doing something she wasn't permitted to. She smiles cutely and reveals herself fully wearing overalls and white and pink trainers. She looks adorable. She's grown seeing as she can walk; last time I was here she must have been a baby, because I barely noticed she existed. Bella hurriedly moves her back into the room and close the door. I feel someone tug on my arm.

"This way" It's Jacob and he pulls me towards the door Carsile walks through. We reach the door but he doesn't walk through.

"I'll wait for you out here, if you need any h…" I curse under my breath.

"Why does everyone suddenly think I need help, I can take care of myself I'm not dying!" I pull his hand away from the arm of my hoodie. And walk into Carlisle Study. One word, books. Books everywhere that's all you can say about this room. A stack of books, books on shelves, books in the corner of the room, small books, big books, wide, thin. It's like book heaven.

"You can sit down Miss Clearwater." He points towards a chair besides the window; I ignore his gesture and sit on the opposite side of his desk. My heart is beating really fast, my hands become clammy and sticky; I take in a deep breath to calm myself. Nothing is wrong with you, nothing at all. I repeat to myself. I sink deeper into the chair and sigh loudly, what's the point in worrying, what's done is done and there nothing anyone can do about, sadly.

He walks to the back wall where a cabinet is built into the wall and pulls a draw then on everything feels like its being done in slow motion. He lifts the paper clipped piece of paper slowly out of the draw, and then slowly pushes the draw back into cabinet. Step by step he makes his way back the desk but remains standing. 'Nothing can go wrong, nothing wrong can happen, just think positively and positive things shall come' words I heard so many time its can last me a life time.

"So…doc" I pull my hoodie of my head. "What is it? A deadly disease, that I can't die from or is it a mutant pregnancy...Which I don't think is possible but hey who would have thought two weeks ago I would be sitting here huh? Anything's possible, right?" I smile bitterly. Carsile doesn't see amused but sympathetic, and there's an awarkward silence but it soon ends. He takes a quick glance at the first sheet in the pack then the second.

"Well Miss Clearwater…" hears it comes. "Everything seems as good as it can be, nothing to out of the ordinary, but I do suggest you easy your way back into your eating habits, seeing as you're a shifter you need your food for energy otherwise your body will not work as subjected to, and this may lead to complications …" He fades away at the end and goes silent for a moment. He breathes in deeply and says

"Miss Clearwater I..."

"Leah." I correct the Miss-ing was getting to me slightly. He laughs shy fully and sits down on his desk.

"Leah. I'm sorry for the unpleasant in counter you experienced, for a doctor it is rather hard delivering results after a sexual abuse especially for someone whose given so much to them…but the hardest part is over now, you now know that you got away lucky, and you can slowly take steps to getting better…"

"Please don't tell me to blab who did this to me because I just wo…" He cuts me of looking rather offended.

"No Leah, I would never do such thing, some people go on with life by never saying who abused them, but they key thing is to have someone to help you take those step back to your safe place, family is important at a time like this. Just do not push people away, is all that I am saying." He sounds like he saying a eulogy in a funeral, rather disturbing, but when I look at him and all he shows is pure sympathy but for some reason I take it in gladly. He looks like he has more to say but he choose to keep it to him. I stand ready to walk out the door and bin the package of paper Carsile had handed to me earlier, but I turn back instead.

"Thanks." I say.

"Oh it was nothing at all." And he smiles showing all his perfect teeth.

"Sorry, about the glass wall." I whisper but he catches it anyway. He remains smiling.

"Do not worry, we've been meaning to get it replaced anyways just saved us the trouble, Nessie, urm Renesme is beginning to walk." He smile proudly and it almost makes me sick. I have nothing against the breed, it's just her Mother…but that story is for another day. I say thank you again and walk out the door. Out in the corridor in the opposite room to Carlisle's study, Rosalie walks out transformed. She's in a completely different outfit. I try not to acknowledged her and walk quickly to the stairs, but she calls my name.

"Leah?" I stop abruptly and curse under my breath. I turn around unwittingly. She looks at me almost suspiciously but relaxes her face. Her mouth is puffed slightly as if the words she wants to say are jumbled up inside her mouth but then she looks at me knowingly and I feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Whenever you need someone as in a girl to talk to I'm open" I look her blankly.

"Is this a catch?" I ask quite harshly.

"No catch I figured since all you have to talk is smelly wolf boys you may like some versatility."

I laugh coldly.

"What? As in a stinking, vamp girl? No thanks." She squint's her eyes for a half a second and places a piece of paper into my hand. The touch for her hand makes me squirm a little. I read her face and there's no emotion there but her eyes seem to hold something in them but I can't register the emotion. I look down at the piece of paper in my hand and find the need to stuff into her mouth and tell her to shove off, as I'm not in the mood for a bitch fight. But instead I stuff the piece of paper in my back pocket and walk away.

"Leah?" she calls again. I turn around annoyed.

"What?" She looks at me weirdly and begins to say something but then she stops.

"…I think you owe me an apology" She flicks her head back a little to move hair away from her face. I give her a glare and walk away. When I reach the big living room the shattered glass has disappeared and there's no one there apart from Jake and Seth who stand up so quickly like they got struck by lightning.

"How did it go?" Seth asks first.

"I just want to go home." Its good news but I don't want to say much. The drive home was quite no one said much or did much. When we got home Jacob didn't stay he had to go check on his dad and my mum was still at work so it was just me and Seth at home.

"You want something to eat?" Seth asks. I nod although I'm not hungry. Seth makes his famous all in one sandwich, that consists of everything or anything you can find in the fridge and cupboards but surprisingly it all ways tasted rather nice. We sat down on the kitchen table and ate are sandwiches in silence. I watched Seth eats most of his sandwich as I played around with mine slightly. He was so young and gone through so much, I'm surprised he still finds the strength to smile every day, he's always polite, kind and always up for a joke, the complete opposite of me.

"He said everything is fine" I tell him.

"What?" a string of lettuce hangs from his mouths. I smile.

"Carlisle, he gave me the all clean." Seth makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, and nods a lot.

"Well that's good" and we drift back in silence.

Yesterday night after my blast of music, I left the bathroom feeling rather different I don't know what did it but I just did . I opened the bathroom door to find just my mum just by the was the first time since that night that it was just me and her. She stood there staring at me going quite teary eye.

"My little baby girl, my beautiful baby girl" She placed both her hands on top off each other, above her heart. She moved towards me and placed a hand on my right cheek. It was rather sad that we never spent time on our own together. I'll either be running around wolf or she'll be busy round Charlie's. We sat on my bed and she tried so hard to make me forget. Reminding me of trips we took when I was a child or silly memories like the time I got lost out on a shopping spree with her. She even went all the way back to when I was a baby telling me how feisty I was then. She tried making me laugh, telling me sad funny stories. But to be honest I wasn't in the mood to forget I just wanted to talk to get things off my chest, but I don't think she wants to listen. That's why for half that night it was Jacob trying to get things out of me, that's why he was the annoyingly comforting me, she not ready. That's why she wasn't up in my room comforting me telling me everything was going to be ok. What a normal mother would do. That's why she's out at work right now keeping busy, avoiding me, and not wanting to know. Why I am blaming her? It's not her fault, but I can't help my self. All I want is to talk to a girl. To relate a little, Jacob is doing great sort of, but it's not right I can't tell him things that I could tell a girl.

Seth and I move to the living room and he offers to put on my favorite movie and get popcorn. It's not dark yet so we draw all the curtains up and turn off all the lights like when we were little and cuddle up on the sofa.

"Leah you're alright, right?" he asks sounding a little concerned. I could blab and say everything I'm feeling but my brother doesn't need to know this, he's not right for the job, it might just scar him for life. So I lie and say yes. Half ways through the movie I lie pathetically and say I'm feeling rather tired and jog up the stairs. I close the door behind me and the doorbell rings, Seth must have rushed to the door as it was open in seconds. I peek out of the window and see Embry, Quil and Jake. The house suddenly is filled with slight noise. I shut the door and pull off my jeans and pull on my pj's. Before chucking my jeans in the laundry basket I check the pockets, and find the small piece of paper Rosalie handed to me, it has a mesaage on it and her phone number. I place the piece of paper on my note board and walk backwards to my bed I fall flat on it, arms and legs spread out like a star fish. My bed seems like the only place which is safe anymore. All warm and cuddly so inviting and relaxing, I can feel my self-drifting.

'…your safe place again.' Carlisle words play through my mind like a record player. My safe place? Have I ever had a safe place? Well not since my dad passed away, things feel so odd without him. My mum has tried so hard to make this place a home again but I think she's failing rather miserably. I shouldn't blame her, because I haven't helped much either. I've never suggested lets have 'some family fun!' But I've been busy; being a wolf saving the Quileute people from vamps same goes for Seth. We've never even sat down with Charlie and had a meal, were failing as a family. My dad will be turning in his grave. I sit up and look at the picture besides my note board. Me sitting on my father lap smiling with my hair in bunches, I admit it I was daddy's little girl. I'll give anything to talk to him one last time. I look around my room and it's rather empty unlike downstairs, I can hear the stair creak so someone must be coming up the stairs. It's just me here alone, and for the first time in my life I feel so alone. I find myself starring at the piece of paper pined on my note board.

'Call me if you want more than a dog to talk to, No offence. Rosalie'

Ah finally, finally! another chap for you guys I know you've waited a long time for this, I'm deeply sorry but like I said it's the holidays so I'm free and that means more chaps

[Everybody screams 'yay!"]

Lool

Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes. As usual I got bored proof reading. If you know a great beta please PM me!

(No control freaks please :P)

Xxlilmisstrouble

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