Disclaimer: I don't own it – none of it. Not even the plot bunny.
A/N: Soooo, yeah. Delay much? Sorry about that, but I'm writing a storyboard and doing some actual hardcore story planning. I'm not cut out for epics or novel length fanfiction, but we'll see what I can do. The next couple of chapters are going to just be me trying to get through Season 2 as expediently as I can, so there'll be lots of skipping around. I guess I've done some assuming that you'll be a Buffy fan and have seen your fair share of YAHFs. I'm not much of a dialogue recycler and this is mostly about highlighting the differences. Also, I've cleaned up the first chapter, so hope you enjoy.
oOo
"Vincent is such a drag sometimes." Xander scuffed his foot on Willow's porch, annoyed.
Willow's breath caught in her throat. It turned out that Ford was a total creepazoid, and the whole way back from the Sunset Club Angel had lectured her and Xander about how evil vampires were. Like they could forget? But now, now her bestest bud since forever was having some sort of mental breakdown whether he realized it or not.
Willow tried to hide the frustrated quibble in her voice. "Who?"
"Deadboy. You think after brooding in a coffin for so long he could at least have the decency to be a little more brain dead and shut up."
That's right, the other night when Angel had visited her for information on Ford, he did confess to spending the last century brooding. "I don't think he said anything about a coffin."
"Huh?" Xander sat on the porch swing.
Willow unintentionally grimaced at her friend. He looked so lost. Since Halloween, she'd seen that expression a lot. He was different. Oh, on the outside maybe not so much, but some strange gears had obviously been turning in his head since that night. Stranger than usual at least. To her consternation he always shied away from the subject. She was starting to wonder if he could even talk about it. He didn't seem like he knew what was wrong, just that it was.
But she saw it, every time he slipped up. Stupid Tifa this, loudmouth Tifa that – he was talking about Cordelia! The other day he said something about how the demon of the week was crazier than a tonberry wacked out on mountain dew, whatever that meant. Now it was Vincent and Angel.
"Hey, want some popcorn? I think it's time for some popcorn. Roleplaying always makes me hungry for popcorn, and that's definitely what those… hoodlums at the club were doing. Want some?" Willow babbled, already pulling Xander up without his consent.
"If you insist." He didn't put up a fight at all. At least Xander was still interested in food. "Did you see the ruffles on that one guy? Yech."
For once, Willow was glad her parents left town earlier that day. She twiddled her thumbs, the microwave humming. She was going to say it. Don't bother trying to stop her, she was going to point it out.
Xander was oblivious, spinning on the barstool, spiky hair careening out of control.
"Xander, I don't know if you've noticed lately," she took a big breath, "but you've been mentioning people and things that I'm pretty sure you've never met or heard of before. I know your eye color didn't wear off, but are all the memories still just sticking around?" Her question came out in a hurried jumble of babble.
The spinning came to an abrupt halt as Xander placed a foot out, and she found herself on the receiving end of a chilling stare from those new, blue eyes.
"I, I…" He abandoned the stare, instead looking towards the table. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice?"
"Who is Vincent? Tifa?"
Xander opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking at her puzzled.
"But you… You were there. We found Vincent in the basement, and as for Tifa," he looked to Willow for confirmation, but she was slowly shaking her head in a sad negative. In fact, she felt guilty for not knowing from the look on his face.
"Whose life do you think you even remember? Do you at least have a name?"
"Well, sometimes I do, but not right now." He looked ashamed.
"Um, that doesn't even make sense, but do you have anything else?"
"Anything else? Anything else?" His expression made Willow's stomach churn. That expression made her feel so cruel.
He even stood up. Was he insulted? "Sometimes everything seems so foggy I don't know what to do. Vampires feel like the least of my problems. Our problems. And I… and I…" His fists clenched, unclenched. The body that had seemed so tensed and ready to spring moments before sagged.
"Willow, it's like everything else is all stashed up here, but you know what? It's not even weird to me. It's weird to you guys."
"Xander…" She tried to begin gently. "That's because it is weird. Even for us. It's pretty strange with you running around with a noggin full of who-knows-what made up information."
"Made…up?" Uh oh, she hadn't said the right thing had she? His face flashed with hurt. "I did those things." There was a startling amount of conviction in the words. "There is no way this stuff didn't happen. I just… don't know when I had the time to do them."
Willow's face fell. This was not good.
"And I don't know how you don't remember being there. You were definitely…" Xander's face scrunched up, "There-ish?" He started to look somewhat horrified.
"Oh no," he breathed. Then he grimaced, covering his face with a hand. "I can't believe I…" He started muttering. "And… oh not again. Stupid, stupid Cloud. How could you?" He frantically dragged his hands over his face, trying to massage something back into himself.
Whatever it was Willow didn't know, and it was starting to make her nervous. Xander was starting to actually look a little bonkers.
Stupid Willow was more like it. She should not have brought this up. Wait- "What stupid cloud?" Did he think an evil little rain cloud was following him too?
"I'm stupid Cloud." He groaned between his hands in a very 'duh' tone of voice.
Willow choked. This was so not of the good. She almost let out a delirious giggle at the image of a cranky little rain cloud Xander this train of thought dredged up.
"You're a stupid cloud…?" She began weakly.
"No." He started vehemently because she obviously wasn't getting it. "I'm Cloud. And stu-."
At that point, a couple things happened. One, Willow realized the popcorn was burning. Two, things seemed to enter a bizarre once in a blue moon state where things were so outrageous, they were actually in slow motion. Or maybe it was just the burning food.
Whatever the case, as she began wincing at acrid smell of the forgotten snack, Xander's eyes widened comically at some personally terrifying realization. Mouth still moving to pronounce the '-pid' in stupid, he lanced out of his chair as if scalded.
Then time returned to normal, but it was no less awkward.
"So, uh," Willow let out a little cough, "I'll go start a different batch of the buttery goodness?"
Xander's mouth was set in a rigid frown. Did he realize he had admitted something rather troubling?
"Th-thanks but no thanks, Wills. I-I gotta go. I'll see ya later." His posture was rigid and said he was ready to bolt.
"N-no, it's okay." She nervously fiddled with a button on her sweater. "A-and you didn't, uh, say anything wrong." Was that the right thing to say? Sure she wanted to say 'Noooo, it was actually catastrophically wrong,' but that wouldn't get him to stay would it?
"Right." He said slowly, and rather distractedly, expression far away and face white as a sheet. "Not wrong…"
So, did he think he wasn't wrong or was he just repeating her now? Oh, how Willow wanted to just wring his spiky head in her hands and beat the information out. She'd even settle for beating her own head against the counter to make it better.
"But, um, listen…" He started, "Bye." And then he abruptly ended the line of thought before bodily running from her kitchen. Did that really just happen?
Willow's posture slumped. Now she was left alone in her kitchen with bad thoughts and the even worse smell of burnt popcorn.
oOo
With a rough shove the mage's back was awkwardly slammed into the table.
Earlier, Willow had confided in Giles about Xander's unique position, hands wringing in worry. Now, the enraged librarian forced his hand across his childhood friend none too gently.
"What did you do to Xander's costume, Ethan?" The acidity in the words did little to lessen the captive's bravado.
"Who?"
"The boy." The reply was an enraged snarl.
"Hedgehog over there?" The grip on Ethan's shoulders tightened, "I gave him a dinky wooden sword if I can recall. My memory tends to be a bit fuzzy under moments of extreme duress."
"Well, you'll just have to try, now won't you? And his hair seems to be a byproduct of your awful stunt, since you seem so keen on remarking it."
"Now that you mention it, the sword was rather large. One might wonder if he was overcompensating for somethi-" The pressure pinning the chaos user increased.
"I did some research, Ethan, and Janus wasn't much of a Chaos God."
"Look Ripper, I'm sorry that the old bednobs and broomsticks was out of Loki busts, but it didn't seem like much of a difference. I swear I didn't give the boy any special treatment," Ethan paused, winking lasciviously, "but I sure wouldn't mind giving the beautiful young woman standing next to him some now."
Cordelia blanched, "As if!"
"You have no right to endanger my charges like this."
"You're not helping anything. You could have left."
"You shouldn't have been evoking chaos for jollies."
"And you say it like a few years sobriety means anything."
"It's been over twenty years!" The librarian answered, incredulous.
"Okay, okay. The years fly by and I messed up. I didn't mean to leave a mark on one of your precious charges, but he's a statistic of chaos. Probably one of the unluckiest people alive this side of the Atlantic, but a statistic nonetheless. Besides, I believe there are much more pressing matters at hand."
On cue, Philip broke out of the library cage, sending the door crashing into Jenny and effectively knocking her unconscious. Giles immediately let go of Ethan, who took the liberty to run as far away as possible.
oOo
Although Jonathan had only been able to dredge up one insignificant passing memory of Cloud from his fleeting Halloween persona's mind, he'd glossed over it so many times in the past week that the stare boring into his was overly familiar. He shifted involuntarily from foot to foot.
"So, Jonathan…the other day," the teenager in front of him looked as anxious as he felt, "Did you drop your chemistry notes or what? I saw some equations and stuff."
Damn it. He knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later.
"Yeah. It was some homework for our quiz. Thank god for Ms. Parson's open note policy." His voice did not just crack.
The other boy gave a slight nod, but then Jonathan noticed a scary steeliness in the expression, the amicable persona of Xander slipping. "How do you know about Jenova?"
The gaze was penetrating; Jonathan tried hard not to stare. "Have you ever played Final Fantasy?"
The eyes never wavered. Mako eyes. Jonathan's fingers itched. If he could just – no. He violently squashed the vestigial thought.
"No." Xander didn't look like he cared to know either.
"It's this RPG, y'know, action role playing game, by Squaresoft. Came out last month for the playstation? Well, in September anyway, and-" Jonathan rambled awkwardly.
"Never heard of it."
"Really? I think it was pretty well advertised. TV commercials and stuff." Jonathan's faux casual attitude was obviously hokey. At least to him it sure felt like it.
Xander shook his head. "Jonathan, I saw the equations." At this point Xander was backing the other student into the locker, unconsciously mimicking the kind of bully that he hated.
"She was just a character in the seventh game of the series," Jonathan choked.
"Jonathan. I saw the equations." Xander's nostrils flared in his face, but a thankful little part of Jonathan at least knew that mako SOLDIER enhancement didn't create a walking lie detector. Not that Xander should have any of those enhancements, no matter what his eyes otherwise seemed to indicate.
"They were for class. Honestly." The fear in his face was real, but he saw the hard reluctance in Xander, the unnatural drive to know about that name, to seek it out. Jonathan was actually pretty confused. Xander should have been forgetting as much about Cloud as he was of Hojo. Sometimes he wished he could forget faster.
Right now, however, Jonathan was standing in front of someone who had gone through too much in pursuit of the monster to give up. Despite this, Jonathan still couldn't let go of his own information because of some fading twisted code a part of him still adhered to.
"Look up the game: Final Fantasy VII." That information Jonathan would at least give freely. He knew where it would lead Xander.
"That really doesn't explain anything."
"Maybe it'll just get you off my back okay? Sheesh, I really was just writing random stuff down." Jonathan took advantage of Xander's waning drive to feign some irritability in the face of possible danger. He wasn't sure why, but Xander still seemed to be clinging to a part of Cloud. A part of Jonathan on the other hand, a part he prayed wasn't Hojo scraping for a last hurrah, was definitely curious.
"Alright." Xander said, if just a bit reluctantly.
Jonathan sighed. That hadn't gone as smoothly as he had hoped, not that Andrew would have been able to help much at this point.
The guy in question was still wearing his white leather jacket, pretending to ignore the girls that walked by his locker while he fake-checked it for the fourth time. Jonathan had to admit, the nerd had the technique down. Amy Madison was already tentatively approaching him at the locker.
"Andrew, right?" She pulled the backpack out in front of herself, unzipping it.
"Yeah." Jonathan could hear the practiced disinterest in Andrew's tone from across the hall.
"You dropped this." Amy passed Andrew an orange World History book.
Awkwardly, the sophomore took the textbook. "Uh, thanks." Andrew had mastered some sort of technique to get girls to at least approach him, but that didn't mean he actually had anything to say to them.
Jonathan swallowed an awkward thought. Was Andrew even interested in girls?
oOo
"Willow, this may sound like a weird question, but," Buffy's nose wrinkled as she turned to her friend, "does Xander look kind of, well, shorter lately?"
The wide-eyed look that Willow responded with was all the affirmation Buffy would have needed. "Not counting the hair you mean?" Willow's face was uncommonly still.
Buffy nodded and the red head sighed, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Yes!" Willow's fervent admission was hushed in a conspiratorial air. "His shoulders don't even look as broad as they used to."
"I didn't notice anything before, but now that you mention it…" Buffy nodded again, realizing the difference. She didn't pay as close attention to Xander as Willow did, but now that she mentioned it…
"You think it has something to do with Halloween too?" Willow's face began to scrunch with worry.
"Probably," Buffy replied flatly before she noticed her friend's expression, "but don't sweat it. Giles is looking for a way to fix it right now."
"I'm not so sure he can." Voice tempered with sorrow, Willow continued, "You heard Ethan, and it's not like he has any real physical problems, just, you know." She vaguely motioned to her head.
"Yeah, I guess slightly glowy eyes and bad hair cuts are the least of our problems. Have you even talked to him about it?"
"I did. It's pretty bad." Willow swallowed. "He even thinks… that he was the one who did… the things in his head. Not that I really know what they are."
"Err, maybe we should look into that?" Buffy asked. "I mean, if it's just harmless stuff like hot dog eating champion or something that's not so bad. He hasn't gone all Ted Bundy on us or anything."
"I hope we don't jinx it." Willow mumbled.
"Whoa, just saying that could get us into trouble!" Buffy looked worried. "Has he, uh, been showing the signs or something?"
"Oh. Oh! No." Willow tittered nervously. "But I get the feeling he thinks we went on some sort of epic adventure that, err, never happened?"
"Now, that could be a bit of a problem. Especially if he gets a whip out and starts acting like Indiana Jones on us."
"He did mention something about us finding Angel in a coffin." Willow left out the Vincent part, not wanting Xander to sound too fantastically crazy, but that might have been a moot point after what she said next. "And he sometimes apparently thinks his name is Cloud?
"I'd give him a C- for creativity on the Angel thing. That's not really that farfetched. As for the name thing, do we really need any more people with interesting names around here?"
Like Buffy? Willow's mind snorted. "Yeah…" She conceded aloud. "But I still think we should keep an eye on him." I'm worried he'll lose track of reality. Willow thought, but she didn't want to say it, couldn't say it.
"Deal." Suddenly Buffy laughed. "Besides, after seeing what Giles apparently did for funzies as a kid, it can't get much worse, right?"
Willow was appalled. "And now you've jinxed it."
"Darn it. Stupid mouth."
oOo
Thanks for reading! I'm not 100% satisfied with this, but I figured I'd just bite the bullet and post it. I've been holding onto it for a loooong time, but it'll get us where we need to go. Expect chapter 3 in a jiffy!