Warnings: M/M relationships, M-preg, AU, possibility of OOC, and awful writing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Get Backers.
A Dawn I Need To Bear
Most of the day was silent, with the exception of the car's engine and the cars that joined them on the road. Toshiki had not said a word to him, nor had he, after the previous night's events. Of course, he had spent most of the day sleeping. That was a stark contrast from before coming to Toshiki for help. Nightmares still plagued him, but it was nothing he could not handle.
Deciding to keep his eyes open and avoid sleeping, he removed the thin sheet that he assumed Toshiki placed on him to keep him warm. The urge to yawn was too great for him to avoid, so he let it out, startling his driver. The car swerved a bit before Toshiki realized the origin of the yawn. Rubbing his eyes, Kazuki sat up on the backseat.
"Did you sleep well?" asked Toshiki, keeping his eyes on the road. From Kazuki's sitting position, he could see the blonde man's hands on the steering wheel. They gripped it tightly, so much that his fingers were turning pale. It was obvious that he had spent too much time driving.
Looking around the car, Kazuki nodded. The car was small, like the type any normal person would own. There was not much room, but it was just right for two people who were not safe in most places. "I did, Toshiki, thank you for asking," he answered. There several questions that he wished to voice out, but his mind could not settle on just one. "Did you?"
"I wasn't tired," he answered without hesitation. Kazuki knew what he meant. He was tired, but he could not rest, or rather, he did not allow himself to do so. Juubei had said the same thing many times.
A voice within him wanted to call Toshiki a liar and make him rest. Rather than do so, he muted it. If he could not get Juubei to do it, Toshiki would not either. Many were like that, more in particular men. When their mind was set on something, there was no resting, no peaceful moment, no worries for their selves. They put on themselves that curse.
From the windows, Kazuki saw few cars pass by. "Where are we? Where are we going?" he asked, eyes still peering at the view beyond the windows. Trees and occasional patches of grass repeated themselves.
Before answering, the blonde man cleared his throat. "I think the farther we get from the cities, the better we will be. Do you remember Ban?" When Kazuki did not answer, he chuckled. "He's Ginji's best friend. If you do not remember him, he is the man who used to be my roommate back when we first met. Anyway, Ban is his boyfriend, unless they broke up again… The point is that he has a place out here. We're close now, Kazuki," he explained.
Faintly he began to remember the men his friend had mentioned. Ginji and Ban at times acted like polar opposites, but their hearts were always in the right place. At least they were until it came to money matters for Ban. Something told Kazuki that money was the main disagreement in their relationship.
"I hope we don't inconvenience them," he muttered.
The car diverted from the main road to a dirt one. "Actually, they're not going to be there," confessed Toshiki while he maneuvered the car around the winding path. "It made more sense to go there without telling anyone. The less people know the better."
Clutching his stomach, Kazuki groaned. "Please, Toshiki, pull over!" he begged as his hand clutched the handle.
After applying the brakes and turning off the car, Toshiki opened the door for him. Kazuki rushed out of the car and dropped to his knees. Opening his mouth, he breathed as if he was losing the ability to do so. A moment's peace passed him by before he vomited. The vile aftertaste remained in his mouth, making him spit out.
For a short second he wondered where Toshiki was. A hand gripped his shoulder while the other pulled back his long hair. Wiping away the saliva around his lips, he steadied himself. "Thank you," he said softly.
"Have some water. It'll help you with the taste," Toshiki replied as he led him back to the car. Once there, he opened the front passenger's door for him. "I'll get the water from the back while you make yourself comfortable."
Taking his friend's advice, he sat on the seat and swung his legs over until they rested inside the car. In that short time, Toshiki had already gathered a water bottle for him. He handed it over to Kazuki, the cap already loosened. He brought the bottle to his lips, drank, and then spat it out. It took three repeats of the cycle until he could no longer taste the vomit. By the fourth, he was ready to relish the freshness of the water. Thinking about it, Kazuki realized he had not had a beverage that he was able to enjoy in the longest time. If he had known before, he knew he would have viewed his experiences differently, no matter how mundane.
Toshiki exhaled loudly, which brought Kazuki back from his thoughts. "I'll start up the car again, if that's okay with you. Do you need to rest some more, Kazuki? Be honest with me."
"Already this has been the greatest rest I've gotten. No, Toshiki, I am fine. Start the car," he replied, hoping his face would not betray his words. Getting out of the car was a treat for his body; it made the ride tolerable. Being inside it was like a punishment, but he could handle the ride as long as he could get off later.
After studying Kazuki for a brief moment, the blonde man obeyed Kazuki's orders and closed the door. A second later, they were driving past the repeated scenery once again. Kazuki's hair lifted away from his face, the wind increasing every minute. The clouds moved fast, bringing with them the rain.
Forty-five minutes later the scenery had changed. Kazuki's brown eyes widened at what was to be their hideout shortly. It was a large untraditional house, made in the image of the western world. Kazuki had only seen such mansions in magazines. Merely looking at it gave him chills, not out of fright, but out of imagining how they would explain themselves to Ban.
Toshiki was already out of the car and making himself busy with getting out the luggage he had brought. Deciding it was time he helped, too, Kazuki opened his door and stepped out. When he was next to his friend, he tried pulling out a large bag out of the trunk. Just as he was about to pull it out fully, Toshiki grabbed it from him with ease. Kazuki was impressed with the man's strength, more so since he had struggled with it.
Much to his surprise, Toshiki placed the bag back into the trunk. "It's best we not take everything in with us, incase we need to leave in a hurry. These two bags should be enough. Before you try, Kazuki, you do not need to help me with the bags. I can carry them."
"I'll close the trunk," said Kazuki with a nod. It should have bothered him, but it made little impact. Juubei was always chivalrous, like Toshiki. The two men always treated him as if he were a woman, except when it involved certain matters.
They stood in front of the entrance when Kazuki realized that the blonde man probably did not have a key. Turning to him, he found Toshiki digging through one of the bags. Apparently, they did have key. It took him a minute to find the key and open the door.
A burst of cool air hit them as they entered. "Is Ban rich?" he asked bluntly. Brown eyes surveyed the house and its contents. All of it looked valuable and untouchable.
Tossing the bags inside, Toshiki grunted. "He does well, but he's not that rich. This is perhaps the most expensive thing he owns. Ginji told me Ban bought this place for him, like a gift for their engagement. Personally I think Ban wanted it for himself, but who am I to argue against him?"
"Especially since we're using this palace without his permission," Kazuki added.
"As long as we don't destroy anything, he'll let us get away with it. Actually, it would be better if he never knew." Toshiki's voice was rich with amusement, probably due to his thoughts. "Let's go find a guest room. Hopefully we won't get lost along the way."
After picking up the bags again, Toshiki began to lead the way upstairs. As they walked, Kazuki took notice of the fine wood floors, the paintings, and the neatness of it all. Although he would not tell Toshiki, he wished they had stayed in a place less fancy. That way each step he took would not be like leaving a mud stain.
After opening and closing a few doors, Toshiki found a room that looked remotely like a guest room and not the main room. "Hey, we have electricity," Toshiki said to him. "We can enjoy ourselves a little here. This place is difficult to find, so we will not have worry about much. Why don't you rest while I'll get us something to eat?"
"Do you know if storms hit hard here?"
Toshiki frowned. "No, I don't. I guess I should not cook anything. Judging from the clouds, it is going to be a big one. Maybe it'll pass by faster than I think."
The blonde man walked out of the room and headed downstairs. Kazuki could hear his footfalls going down the stairs. As he walked to the bed, he kept his gaze fixed on the sky through the window. Lightning was striking, but no rain fell yet.
Passing a hand over the slight bump on his body, he hesitated before touching it. No sign of life responded to his touch. So far, it had not grown as much as he had expected it to. With the proper clothes, he could cover it up and not look so different, so abnormal. Despite that, it did not make a difference to him. The life growing inside of him was the cause for all of the misery in his life. It was responsible for separating him from Juubei. Now it would probably be at fault for Toshiki's fate.
"Am I interrupting?" asked Toshiki as he stood in the doorway, looking at him. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He looked as happy as Juubei had been at first. Knowing the chances of ever living a normal life again, Kazuki could not watch his friend's expression.
Shaking his head, Kazuki dropped his hand to his side and sat on the bed. "So what are we going to eat?" he asked, looking at the bed.
Walking over, the blonde man threw a couple of things on the bed. Crackers, chips, water bottles, and two apples were not Kazuki's idea of a meal, but he did not argue. His stomach growled, not for the first time in weeks. He heard his friend chuckle as he joined him on the bed.
After drinking from his water bottle, Toshiki opened the bags of potato chips and offered him some. "You should grab as many as you want. Tomorrow we'll have better food," he promised him. He grabbed a handful and began eating them. "When did you know?"
Before Kazuki could answer, thunder interrupted him. "There are some things I'm not comfortable speaking about yet." Toshiki nodded, looking apologetic. After taking a bite from his apple, Kazuki looked at him. "Honestly, I think you asked the wrong question. You should have asked how it happened. It makes little difference, though. I do not know how, neither did Juubei. When the bump began to form… that's when I knew for sure."
"It's hard to believe," Toshiki admitted. "It's not as if a man getting pregnant is the usual news one hears. Does that mean you know as much as I do? That's not much."
Biting down on a salted cracker, Kazuki nodded. The salt made his tongue ache. Quickly he drank from his bottle. "If we're ever caught, we might learn more," he answered once he had finished drinking. "Perhaps it's for the best."
Toshiki blushed. "So, uh, do you know how you're going to…?" After making a waving gesture with his hand, Kazuki got the message. Just as he was going to voice it out, Toshiki blurted it. "How are you going to give birth to the baby?"
Looking at the bump, Kazuki shrugged. "I haven't thought that far ahead. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. It would be useful."
"Should we get you to a hospital?"
After closing his eyes, Kazuki bowed his head. "That's what Juubei wanted to do. On our way there, we realized it was a mistake. Whoever is after me wants this baby, no matter the cost. The baby is all that matters to them."
Narrowing his eyes, Toshiki threw him an understanding look. "You've thought about getting rid of the baby, haven't you?"
Kazuki inhaled a sharp breath. It took a moment before he could bring himself to answer the question. "Yes." A flash of lightning struck, bringing them darkness soon after.
TBC