Olivia had finished showering and had dressed when Elliot returned with the coffee.
"I got it just the way you like it"
"Thanks" she took the coffee from him, and he felt like an idiot, for bringing her coffee, what good was that? he should have been doing something more, but all he had managed to do was bring her coffee, especially since it was now nearly 6am and he should be taking her home so she could sleep.
If she had noticed Elliot's sudden hesitancy she didn't say anything as she took a sip of the coffee, thinking of all the times in the past when he had brought her coffee, when they were working cases together. Her earlier worries about not being able to do her job properly anymore resurfaced but she tried to force them away. She knew now that she had to report this but that didn't mean she was any less afraid of actually doing it, of actually facing her co-workers.
She was brought out of her thoughts by Elliot's voice speaking to her.
"Are you ready to go home then? the nurse said you were all set."
"Yeah, I'm ready, thanks Elliot"
"What for?"
"For staying with me, you didn't have to" even as she was saying it she knew that it was pointless, that Elliot would have stayed no matter what she said, that he really was that stubborn, but she still felt like she had to say something, make it clear he could have left, she would have managed on her own.
Elliot realising what she was trying to do, knew he had to reassure her.
"I know you would have been fine on your own, but I wanted to be here, I wouldn't have been fine knowing you were here on your own, I'm glad you called me."
This time he did move to hug her, if it felt strange to be hugging his partner he wasn't aware of it. For her part she knew she could utterly trust him and she allowed him to hold her.
After a minute or so Elliot pulled out of the hug, "come on then let's get out of here".
They left the hospital together and he walked her to his car. As they headed towards her apartment she realised she didn't know what to do now. She was supposed to be at work in a couple of hours, and so was Elliot. At some point in the next few hours she was going to have to talk to Cragen. At some point in the next few hours everything would change again. For the second time in 24 hours her life would change and there would be no going back, but this time she knew she at least had some control over it.
"You know we're supposed to be at work in a couple of hours?" she decided she should really say something to Elliot.
"Yeah, what do you want to do?" Elliot asked her, knowing that her answer to this would be an indication of what she would do next. If she said she wanted to phone in sick and pretend she was ok then chances were she wasn't going to report it. On the other hand if she was going to report it he knew she would probably do it pretty soon, he knew she knew that the sooner you reported it the more likely you were to catch someone.
Olivia took a deep breath, and let her reasonable, responsible side take over again.
"I think I need to take a few days off" Elliot's heart sank; she was going to ignore this and let him get away with it.
"But first I need to go in so I can make a statement" there she had said it. Now she had made a decision, spoken it out loud she felt set on it. Now she could focus her energy on the path she had chosen.
Elliot was actually surprised, despite how much he knew her, knew her need for justice, what she had said at the hospital had made him think. He had wondered if reporting it was the right thing, and though he knew it was what she had said had planted a seed of doubt in his mind. He had almost stopped thinking about justice, his concern about what was best for her outweighing his need to do something to get this guy.
Despite his surprise however, he was glad she had decided to report it. He knew it wouldn't be easy for her, but he knew that she could end up with real regrets if she didn't.
"Well I'm glad you have decided to report it, what do you want to do now?"
"I want to go back to my apartment and get changed, and you should think about trying to get some sleep, you've been up all night."
"Liv, you know I can handle going without sleep, you've seen it often enough. You should try and get some sleep though."
"I will but later, you know I should do this as soon as possible."
"O.k." he knew fighting with her would do no good, and he knew she could handle sleep deprivation as well as he could.
They pulled up outside her apartment and he cut the engine. He noticed her wincing in pain as she got up out of the car, though he knew she wouldn't admit it. They walked up to her apartment in silence, neither really knowing what to say.
Once she had let them in, she offered him something to drink. After politely declining her offer Olivia disappeared into the bedroom to get changed. She was glad to be out of the clothes the hospital had given her, and into some of her own clothes. She felt like the clothes they had given her identified her as a victim, in her own clothes she was Olivia again.
She found Elliot waiting for her in the living room, and she decided to sit down next to him for a minute.
"So what now?" he asked her.
"I guess I should call Cragen, ask him to meet us at the precinct, do you think it's too early to ring him?"
"I think he's used to calls at worse hours, and he'd probably be more upset if he thought you had waited to call him because you were worried about his sleep."
" I suppose you're right" she sighed picking up the phone, yet she was finding it difficult to dial the number.
"Do you want me to call him?" Elliot offered.
"No, but thanks for the offer, I have to do this."
She dialled the number and waited while it rang, tempted with every ring just to put the phone down and pretend this never happened.
Before she could change her mind however she heard the phone being picked up and Cragen announcing his presence.
"Hi, it's Olivia, sorry to wake you but I need to meet you at the station"
"Sure, what's up?" Cragen asked, not worried about being woken but curious as to why Olivia wanted to meet at the station, and why it couldn't wait a couple more hours.
"I'd rather talk about it in person if that's ok"
"That's fine, I can be there in half an hour."
"Great, I'll meet you there" she hung up the phone and took a deep breath; glad she was over one more hurdle.