Hi to those of you who are reading. sorry for the long wait, i've been really busy but i still feel bad about taking so long. Thank you again to my kind reviewers, getting a nice review makes my day, so if anyone else feels like reviewing please do.

Huge thanks to NikkiSixx15 for the lovely review, it made me happy all evening!

Elliot and Cragen returned to the office, Elliot taking the seat next to Olivia. He gave her a small, but reassuring, smile. No words were needed. She knew had to do this, it would be the first time of many, and they knew that they didn't need to say anything, this was her time to talk.

Sitting there, looking at Elliot and Cragen, she knew she could do this. She knew that they would be there for her and that they didn't feel sorry for her. She knew that they believed what they had all told victims countless times before, that it wasn't their fault, that they were not to blame and had nothing to be ashamed of. She had always believed that too, and she knew she had to believe it now.

So she told them what she could remember. From Elliot leaving her in the bar to waking up and calling him to come and get her. She couldn't tell them that much, she didn't see anyone, and she was pretty much out of it for most of the time.

The worst part was not recalling how he had grabbed her, or how she had come to - slowly realising what had happened, the worst part was when she told Cragen about Elliot leaving and she glanced across at him. She could see the guilt in his face, she knew he was blaming himself, thinking he should have made sure she was safe. She would talk to him about it later, make sure he knew it wasn't his fault, and that there was nothing he could have done. Right now though she had to concentrate on finishing this.

Refusing to look away, to appear or feel ashamed, she looked directly at Cragen as she told them what the doctor had told her at the hospital. That she had definitely been raped, that there was some trauma and that they had detected fluids. She told them that she had known almost as soon as she had come around but had refused to fully believe it until the doctor had said it. She told them how after hearing it confirmed she had known that despite her concerns about reporting it she knew she had to the right thing.

It was at this point that Cragen first spoke.

"concerns, what concerns?"

He didn't believe that she had considered not reporting this. Elliot however knew that her concerns were valid, and that although he was glad she had chosen to report it, and he was certain it was the right choice, he too was worried about how this could affect her career.

Olivia looked at him, she could see he was shocked at her apparent hesitancy about coming forward. She wanted to explain to him, like she had to Elliot, that the decision to come forward wasn't entirely straightforward.

"Mostly I was afraid of losing my job, afraid that they would, that they will, force me to transfer. That they would think it would get too personal, that I wouldn't be able to handle it anymore. And I was afraid people would see me as a victim, that they would treat me differently, look at me differently. That they would worry about whether I can handle it, or that they would worry about saying the wrong thing and upsetting me. I was afraid everything would be different."

Cragen considered what she had said. He couldn't force people not to see her differently but he could do his best to address her other fears.

"as far as your job goes, I don't see how they could force you out unless your performance is adversely affected, and if they tried I have a feeling they would have a fight on their hands since last time I checked you couldn't force someone out of their job just because they were raped."

He inwardly cringed as he said the last three words. He was still having trouble believing that any of this was happening.

"And I'll try to keep this as quiet as I can, I can't promise but I can do my best to make sure this is handled discreetly."

"thanks, I'd appreciate that"

Hearing Cragen's reassurance about her job made her feel considerably better, but she knew there was a still a long way to go.

"Now as far as the investigation goes, I want to give this to Munch and Fin. How would you feel about that?"

"I suppose that's fine, they're almost as good as us" Olivia joked. She knew however that they would handle this well, that she could trust them.

"And Elliot I want you nowhere near the investigation, I know you, I know you want to get whoever did this but you can't be near this."

Elliot looked over at Olivia before responding. Cragen was right he wanted to go after whoever hurt her with everything he had, but he remembered what Olivia had said at the hospital, friend not cop.

"I know, I'm here for Olivia, I'm here as her friend not as a cop."

Olivia smiled at him, glad he hadn't put up any resistance. That he had listened to what she had told him earlier.

Cragen noticed the relief on Olivia's face at Elliot's lack of argument He couldn't help but be surprised at his acceptance, but he knew then that Olivia would get through this because she not only had him and the rest of the squad, she had Elliot looking out for her.

"Well Munch and Fin should be in soon, why don't you two take an hour and go out, get some breakfast, before coming back in." Cragen suggested, knowing that however hard talking to him had been, giving her formal statement was going to be rough on her, despite how strong she appeared to be at the moment.

"o.k." Olivia responded, realising it was probably a good idea to try and get something to eat, and she was thankful of the chance to relax a little before having to go over everything again, before having to tell another two of her close friends about how she had been violated.

"Do you want me to speak to them first or do you want to do it yourself when you get back?"

She had told Elliot that it was important for her to tell Cragen herself, doing so had meant she was in control. But saying those first words, seeing the shock and horror on his face had been hard. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for them to have an idea before she spoke to them, perhaps it would help if they'd had a chance to get over the shock.

"Would you mind telling them the basics for me, give them a chance to absorb it before I have to face them."

"of course, if that's what you want"

"thanks"

Olivia gave a small smile as she and Elliot got up and headed out for breakfast.