Ties that Bind

Yoh was definitely beginning to enjoy his afternoon walks. The weather was always comforting, even when raining, and the absence of people gave him the great opportunity to hear and gather his thoughts. Of course, there was another benefit that only he was aware of. Taking this path every day at this particular time would allow him to run into Anna.

She wasn't aware of this either. On the few days he repeated this action, he spotted her in the park sitting on a bench and staring at the lake. She was always alone, but he never approached her or made her aware of his presence. For a reason he couldn't explain, the thought of seeing her created a warmth in his chest and forced a smile onto his lips. He didn't need to talk to her to feel better. She just needed to be there so he could watch her, and he was satisfied.

As he neared the park, his thoughts assembled into place orderly, and he was overwhelmed with calmness and ease. For the first time in several months he was relaxed. He took a deep breath as he neared the clearing where she normally sat, and when the bench came into focus he smiled. Anna was sitting with her hands resting on her lap. Her legs were crossed loosely, and she wore a sleeveless, blue dress with a hem just above her knee. The blond strands of her hair were unrestrained and fell at her back with some of them resting against the bench. Her hair was longer than he remembered, and he was slightly amused by the random thought.

"Hi, Yoh," she said suddenly without turning her head.

He was visibly startled by her greeting, but stepped closer until he was in front of the bench.

"Hi, Anna," he replied softly.

"Why didn't you say anything yesterday?" She asked as she briefly met his eyes.

"I didn't want to disturb you," he lied.

She paused and stared at the grass then replied plainly, "Sit with me."

Yoh sat beside her without hesitation, and they stared at the ripples in the lake without speaking. He glanced over briefly and caught a glimpse of her smooth legs, but darted his eyes back ahead and swallowed.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked calmly.

"I feel great," he replied with a smile.

"I feel better too," she sighed, "I suppose fresh air has many good uses."

They fell silent again, and Yoh closed his eyes.

"I like this," he said softly.

"What?"

"Being here with you," he replied, "It makes me feel normal."

Anna smiled warmly, clutching her hands at her dress, "I like it too, Yoh."

She pulled a few strands of her hair away from her face and behind her ear and shifted her body weight. He relaxed his body, leaning his back against the wood, and rested his arm behind her shoulders. She didn't protest the action and moved a few inches closer.

"I'm a little nervous," he sighed.

"Why?" She asked with a smirk.

"Well, we're not fighting or screaming at each other," he explained as he squeezed the back of her shoulder, "I don't feel angry or hurt today."

"Today?" She laughed lightly.

"Yeah," he smiled, "That's progress, right?"

"I suppose it is."

The silence that resumed was much more comfortable than before. Anna rested her head on his shoulder momentarily but quickly pulled away and clutched her hands in her lap. Yoh noticed her hesitation but didn't move.

"How is Hao doing?" He asked randomly.

"What?" She replied with a frown.

"Well, he's my brother," he sighed, "And, I should know how he's doing, right?"

"He's fine," she said quickly, "He's been very kind and considerate lately."

"Are we talking about the same person?"

"Hao's not the evil monster you think he is," she sighed, "You wouldn't understand."

"You're probably right about that," he replied in an unrecognizable tone, "My opinion of him is slanted somewhat, since he's tried to kill me-"

"Why are we talking about him?" She interrupted with hinted irritation.

"Because friends should discuss their relationships," he answered calmly.

"So, we're friends now?"

"Yeah."

Yoh glanced at her quickly and noticed the concern in her expression.

"We can't be friends?" He asked softly.

"I don't think it's possible, honestly," she sighed.

"Why not?"

She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily before replying, "Do you really have to ask?"

"Are you saying we're not mature enough to be friends? People do it all the time," he suggested.

"I'm engaged to Hao," she said softly in an almost inaudible tone.

"I know that," he replied.

"And, you're engaged to Tamao," she continued, "We're getting married soon to different people."

"I don't understand your point here," he said as he scratched his head.

"It's inappropriate," she sighed, "Tamao would be uncomfortable with it. I would be uncomfortable with it. And, you should be too."

"But, it wouldn't bother Hao?"

"That's beside the point," she groaned.

"Would it bother him?" He repeated.

"No," she said dismissively, "But that's not the point, Yoh."

"If it doesn't bother him, why does it bother you?"

"This argument is useless," she mumbled.

"Are you afraid to be my friend?" He asked with a soft nudge in her back, "Because you still love me?"

"THAT is exactly my point," she growled, "You wouldn't want to be my friend without an agenda."

"I was just asking an honest question," he replied with a smile, "Okay. If you don't want to be friends, we won't."

Anna folded her arms tightly over her torso and clenched her teeth. Yoh knew she was irritated, but for some reason pushing her buttons was incredibly amusing. This was an opportunity he never had when she lived in the house. She had always been in control and was never moved by anything that happened there.

"We can be acquaintances," she sighed, "But, certain topics are off limits."

"Okay," he giggled.

"You don't ask me about Hao; I won't ask about Tamao," she continued.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded.

"We will not talk about the past, and you will not bring up the subject of love in any conversation."

"Understood," he replied.

"Do you have any questions about these rules?" She asked coldly, "If you break any of them, I'm walking away."

"You can't listen to my thoughts," he suggested, "That would be unfair, right?"

"Fine," she sighed, "Your thoughts are off limits."

He squeezed his arm around her shoulders, and she stood abruptly.

"And, you can't touch me," she pointed at him with one finger, "Understand?"

"Okay," he was disappointed with the rule but agreed, "Come back. I won't touch you."

She sat reluctantly on the opposite end of the bench, leaving a considerable amount of space between them. He smiled at her and waved his hand, and she rolled her eyes as if annoyed by the gesture.

"Are you going to participate in the tournament?" She asked.

The question surprised him, and he frowned, "No."

"Why not?" She seemed disappointed with his answer and glanced at him with a concerned frown.

"Um," he hesitated, "I can't fight."

"What do you mean, you can't fight?" She demanded angrily.

"I thought you knew about this," he replied as he scratched the top of his head.

"About what?"

"I lost my power when I fought Hao," he said as his demeanor quickly changed. The sadness was evident in his eyes, and he paused before finishing his thoughts, "So technically, I'm not a shaman."

"I didn't know about this," she replied sadly.

"I thought he told you," he sighed, "I mean, I just assumed he felt it that day."

"No, he never mentioned it," she frowned.

"I thought it was temporary," he continued weakly, "But, it's been six months."

Anna opened her mouth slightly but paused.

"Maybe it's destiny," his tone shifted into a cheerful response, "You said your destiny was to be the Shaman Queen, and that you were the bride of the Shaman King. Maybe you're marrying him for that reason. Maybe he's supposed to be the Shaman King, and I'm supposed to be," he hesitated, "Something else."

For some reason, Anna was unable to gather her thoughts to respond to his theory, but pangs rose in her stomach and ravaged her body with great discomfort.

"You said he's not a monster," he continued, "If you're right, we have nothing to worry about. This is his destiny, and I was in the way. I mean, he always said I was irrelevant. Maybe I am."

Her eyes began to fill with tears as the shock continued to overwhelm her thoughts.

"Maybe he was supposed to absorb my power because," he paused, "It was supposed to be his power. I just borrowed it because I'm his twin. We weren't supposed to be twins, you know. There was supposed to be one son. I just think that maybe-"

"Stop it," she interrupted sadly, "I don't want to hear this."

"Anna," he started.

"So, you think you have no purpose?" She demanded, "You think you were better off not being born?"

"Sometimes," he replied softly.

She stared at him with widened eyes and stood quickly from her seat. He noticed her shock but didn't address her expression.

"What happened to you, Yoh?" Her tone was elevated, and she appeared to be yelling at him, "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm starting to figure out my purpose," he sighed, "My destiny."

"And, what's that?" She asked as she clenched her teeth, "What's your destiny, Yoh?"

"To die," he said simply.

A few birds began chirping spiritedly in the distance, startling her slightly, but her gaze remained fixed on his eyes. There was no indication that he was lying, and she knew from his demeanor he was serious. He smiled at her weakly to break the tension, but there was no use. She was angry, confused and worried.

Extremely worried.

"What are you saying?" She whispered.

"Let's go for a walk," he ignored her question and stood, "It's so beautiful out here."

"Answer my question, Yoh," her words were very weak, and her voice trembled as she released them.

"Please," he said softly, "Let's just walk."

Yoh approached her very slowly and reached for her hand. She pulled back at first, but when he grabbed it she didn't resist him. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist and gently pulled her close to his chest. Anna stared at the nearby trees in the distance over his shoulder and didn't move her arms that were limp at her sides. The embrace was greatly uncomfortable. His statements confused her, and she needed clarification. The only conclusion she came to continued to play over and over again in her mind, and her body shivered.

Was he saying goodbye for good? Did he have a plan to die? Is he talking about suicide?

"Let's go," he said softly, disturbing her troubled thoughts, "Can I hold your hand?"

She didn't speak but nodded her head weakly and allowed him to lead her down a dirt path into the woods.