Stealing the Moment

As the clouds blanketed the sky and overpowered the sun, Pirika sped her pace along the dirt path. The wind increased in pace and swirled around them in random patterns, stirring detached leaves from their resting places on the grass. A few small pebbles rolled along the path as if guided by this growing wind, and a sudden cold sensation covered her arms.

Yoh didn't seem to notice the change in the weather. He was walking beside her but at a slower pace with a distracted demeanor. Pirika noticed the distance but did not address his silence for several minutes. They had passed the park almost an hour before but continued their walk without discussing the plan. Walking became therapeutic in some way. Pirika's anger was obvious; Yoh didn't want to pinch another nerve, and he couldn't find a way to comfort her.

But, the real reason he was unable to be a shoulder for her to cry on was far more complicated than him being uncomfortable with her situation. The truth was that he couldn't give her the emotional support she needed because he was spent. Too many months passed with his stress and emotional wounds exposed, and now he had no energy left. He wanted to disappear and escape his thoughts.

He didn't want to think at all.

"Yoh?" Pirika's soft voice startled him slightly, and he frowned when she stopped walking.

"Yes?" He tried to sound calm, but grief quickly conquered his already failing voice.

She faced him slowly and folded her arms tightly over her chest. Her limbs trembled slightly from the temperature, but she ignored it and stared at him. Yoh looked away as quickly as their eyes made contact. Something about her concerned gaze was deeply uncomfortable, and he felt his thoughts were transparent.

"I want to help you," she said weakly, "even if I can't help myself."

He didn't understand what she meant by the statement but nodded.

"Do you think you'll ever move on?" Pirika bit her bottom lip and took a step forward.

"What do you mean?" Yoh stared at her neck briefly but quickly looked away.

"Can you find someone else?" she sighed. "Or, will you never be able to let her go?"

"I don't know."

The hesitation in his voice bothered her. There was no way she could compare her situation with his. She thought she was in love with Ren, but their relationship seemed forced. And, the situation with Tamao made her realize that perhaps he didn't feel the same way. Yoh and Anna were different. They were never affectionate and didn't seem to have a romantic relationship. But, Pirika could always look into his eyes and feel the truth. Yoh's feelings were always obvious to everyone in the house. No one would stare at a woman so intensely without an emotional attachment. He seemed happy even when she was angry with him. It was so--

This was definitely not the same thing. Perhaps she was approaching this all wrong. She definitely wasn't a therapist, and she knew the answers to her questions even if he didn't. Yoh would never be able to move on. He had no real life or purpose without Anna. His love for her was too intense to leave her behind. There was no one else he could ever love more deeply.

And, there was nothing else he could do.

"You need her back," Pirika said finally and held his hand.

"What?" He frowned at her nervously. "I can't. I have to move on. You've said that. Everyone has said that."

"You have to fight for her," she continued. "Yoh, she loves you. She's...just confused right now. You have to tell her how you feel, and you have to make her listen."

"It's too late for that," he sighed bitterly. "I can't keep going back and torturing myself. I'll never be able to move on with my life."

"You call this moving on, Yoh?" she asked with irritation. "I've never seen you so weak. Maybe she makes you strong. You can't be strong if you're not happy."

"I'm fine," he replied. "She made her decision, and I'll live with it. If she wants to be with Hao, I can't object. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of fighting. I just want to move on."

"Yoh--"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," he said quickly. "Just let it go."

Yoh pulled away from her and continued walking down the dirt path. Pirika stared at his back a few moments before following, and she bit her bottom lip when she noticed his trembling hands. His head was lowered slightly, and he tried quickening his pace, but there was no way he could hide his expression from her.

He was crying again.

She didn't know how to handle this. Pirika was so used to him being angry and violent she was unprepared for this sudden change. He wiped his face quickly with the sleeve of his shirt and dug his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. She increased her pace until beside him and grabbed his hand again.

"You don't have to be unhappy, Yoh," she said gently. "You don't have to be miserable."

"I don't want to talk about this," he sniffed. "I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel anything."

"You're in love with her," she sighed. "It's not a switch you can turn on and off."

The wind blew heavier than before, slapping a few broken branches against their feet. Darkness invaded from far reaching corners of the sky, and moisture began to escape a few of the clouds.

"That part of my life is over," he said sternly. "I'm not going back."

They continued walking in silence, and she held his hand. He didn't protest the action but didn't look at her, and they listened intently to the crumpling sound of leaves beneath their feet. Pirika wanted to continue the conversation, but she didn't want to anger him. She didn't realize how stubborn Yoh was until Anna left, but perhaps this quality was a result of her departure. Anna was the common denominator in all of their troubles; it was evident to her now. The only way to get things back to normal would be to get her back, but since Yoh no longer possessed the will to fight for her, Pirika feared their lives would never be the same again.

Anna walked slowly down the hallway in silence. She couldn't believe their relationship had come to this crossroad, and now she was wondering if this course of action was correct. Hao hadn't spoken to her since she went into the bedroom to pack her belongings; he was still outside, and she was very apprehensive about facing him. She carried two bags, one in each hand, and paused when reaching the front door. This felt so familiar to her, and rightfully so. It was close to the situation with Yoh, except he hadn't kicked her out of the house. Regret and guilt quickly filled her brain as she opened the door, and as she stepped out onto the front steps she placed her bags delicately against the wood and paused.

Hao was staring at the looming trees in the distance. He didn't move when he felt her presence, and when she sat beside him he didn't look at her. As he rested his arms against his bent knees he scratched his head with his hand and dropped it heavily to its resting place.

They sat in silence for several minutes. Hao decided while she was inside the house he would not speak to her once she returned. He wasn't angry exactly, but he needed to keep his composure. His pride would not to allow him to break down in front of her. After all, he made this decision. He broke off the engagement. He ended their relationship. He shouldn't feel--

"I never meant to hurt you," she said suddenly, disturbing his random thoughts. "I hope you know that."

"I know," he replied weakly.

"I love you." She bit her bottom lip and paused, wondering if it was the right thing to say. "I do."

"You don't have to explain," he rebutted.

She stared at the grass aimlessly, lacking the will to speak or stand.

"I knew this would end at some point," he added finally. "It wasn't meant to be."

"What?" Anna was deeply surprised by the statement and frowned.

"I could never have all of your heart," he explained with slight bitterness. "He would have to die first, and even then it probably wouldn't matter."

She was unsure if he was serious, but she didn't respond.

"We were fooling ourselves, weren't we?" he asked blankly.

"I suppose," she replied weakly.

"I know where you're going," he sighed. "You don't have to hide it from me."

"I'm not going to see Yoh," she protested. "I need time to--"

"You want him back," he groaned. "Don't lie to me."

The cool wind disturbed her silence; her body shivered as the delicate skin blistered with small goosebumps, and she held her breath for a few seconds before exhaling heavily. Hao noticed the decreasing temperature, observing the looming darkness, but he did not react.

"Will I ever see you again?" Anna was unsure of why she asked this question but grew weary of second guessing her decisions.

"Probably," he replied weakly. "I won't move away, and neither will you."

She smiled weakly, but the expression quickly faded as she stared at the trees.

"There's a storm coming," he said softly. "You should leave ahead of it."

There was a portion of her heart that wanted him to fight for her, but she knew he would never do such a thing. Months ago she would have attributed this to arrogance, but now she realized it was something deeper. As insensitive as Hao seemed to most people, he wanted her to be happy, and the possibility of her being happy with Yoh wasn't frightening. She envied his clarity mostly because she lost her focus somewhere in the midst of this chaos.

"Thank you," she said softly and stood in front of him. "Thank you, Hao."

"Goodbye, Anna." He smiled at her calmly and stood.

She closed her eyes briefly as he stepped closer and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Goodbye...Hao," she whispered when he released her.

Anna grabbed the handles for her bags again and watched silently as Hao reentered the house. He did not turn around again, and she briefly closed her eyes when the door was closed. She stared out into the woods for a moment and exhaled. Guilt, remorse, sadness and slight anger began to consume her senses, and she needed to escape. There was no specific destination in mind, but she needed to go somewhere.

Anywhere.

She began walking along the dirt path as the looming trees swayed vigorous leaves in the distance. The chill in the air was becoming troublesome, but she didn't seem to notice the change. As she glanced briefly at the sky, the dark clouds that overpowered the sun threatened the current atmosphere, and she knew the storm would catch her. After all, she couldn't go back to Yoh's house. It would be inappropriate and arrogant to assume he would want her there.

But, this presented a new problem. The truth was that she had nowhere else to go. Hao would not have allowed her to leave if he knew this, but he assumed she would go back to Yoh's house. She couldn't roam through the woods indefinitely. That was simply impractical, and eventually she would be hungry. Shelter would be necessary because of the approaching rain. She could get sick out in the elements and--

Stop it.

The thought lingered in her mind as she stood in the middle of a clearing and closed her eyes. She wasn't being honest with herself. Anna didn't need shelter. She didn't even need food. She needed--

This wouldn't be easy. She would have to swallow her pride and even admit her mistakes, but perhaps this was worth it. This was the time to be honest, no matter how vulnerable she would become.

"Anna?"

She opened her eyes abruptly and dropped her bags. He had been standing in front of her for several seconds silently before deciding to speak. When he took a step forward after brief hesitation, she realized he wasn't alone.

"Yoh," she replied abruptly. "Pirika--"

"What are you doing out here?" he interrupted weakly.

Anna paused and stared at his feet. She had to do this now while her pride was momentarily stunned.

"Um, Anna?" Pirika called worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"You can't marry her, Yoh," she blurted suddenly, ignoring Pirika's question.

"What?" Yoh's expression revealed his confusion, and Pirika stood beside him in shock.

"Tamao," she clarified with irritation. "You can't marry Tamao."

"Um..." Pirika hesitated and scratched her neck. "I'm going...somewhere...so you can talk."

She began walking away from them, but Yoh gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"You don't have to leave," he replied. "This won't take long."

Anna was offended by the statement but didn't speak.

"Really," Pirika pleaded. "You need to talk to her, Yoh. I can leave."

"If she has something she needs to say, she can say it here," he responded bitterly. "Stay."

Pirika smiled weakly and obeyed his request, but the discomfort was obvious in her expression.

"What is this, Anna?" Yoh demanded with a frustrated tone. "What are you talking about, and why are you here?"

Anna closed her eyes briefly, holding one hand over her face and exhaled. She knew what she wanted to say but had no idea how she wanted to say it. This would probably be her last chance. Both her pride and his anger would never allow it again. Without much thought, she blurted the first thing that surfaced in her mind.

"I need you."