Finding Clarity

"What?"

A few cold drops of rain fell gently into his hair when he responded, and the air chilled his bones. Anna paused for several seconds and stared at his neck as Pirika held her breath. The silence that resumed between them was torturous; she needed to elaborate but was finding the words difficult to uncover. Yoh definitely heard what she said but seemed greatly confused.

"Yoh," she sighed weakly, swallowing hard before she continued, "I've made so many mistakes, and I can't take them back. I thought...I thought there was something missing. I left because there was a void in my life I couldn't fill. But, now...I realize things were empty because I made assumptions that I shouldn't have made. I left instead of just talking to you. And, it was the biggest mistake of my life."

Pirika scratched her neck and stared at her with widened eyes. Anna was never one to admit any mistakes. This was new territory for all of them, and she was suddenly afraid.

"I wanted you to love me," she continued and bit her bottom lip briefly. "I should have trusted you. What I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry."

"Finally," Pirika whispered under her breath but was ignored.

"What happened?" Yoh asked suddenly and clenched his hands into fists.

"What are you talking-"

"Hao dumped you?" he continued bitterly. "He kicked you out?"

Pirika stared at the bags near Anna's feet briefly but didn't speak.

"This has nothing to do with Hao," she sighed.

"It has everything to do with him," Yoh growled and stepped forward. "Answer my question."

"Yoh, please stop," Pirika pleaded weakly. "She's trying to apologize. Just listen to her."

"You have every right to be angry with me," Anna continued as she tried to keep the rising anger at bay.

"Answer the question," he repeated. "He broke up with you?"

"It was a mutual decision, Yoh," she groaned. "It's irrelevant now."

"So you decided to try coming back to me? You want to pretend none of this happened and start over?"

"Yoh-"

"This is not some game, Anna," he seethed. "I'm not a toy. You can't just pick me up from the shelf when you're bored with Hao."

Where did she hear that before? Her thoughts jumbled uncontrollably in her head, and her frustration quickly swelled. Yoh had the same stubbornness as his brother when he was angry; it was something she never noticed until now, and the thought increased her irritation.

"I'll save you some time," he continued. "Keep your apology. I don't even believe you. How can I? You told me less than twenty four hours ago to let you go. So that's what I'm doing."

"Yoh, come on," Pirika whined.

"Why are you acting like this?" Anna's irritation was evident in her tone, and her eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to be honest with you."

"No, you want to clear your conscience," he snarled. "This has nothing to do with me."

For several seconds she didn't respond and stared at him with narrowed eyes. The raindrops grew larger in size and fell heavily against her shoulders. Yoh's frustrated scowl didn't change as they exchanged in this strange staring contest, but he quickly clenched the seam of his jeans tightly with his hands.

"You're wrong, Yoh," she said weakly. The frailty in her voice was deeply troublesome, and Pirika briefly held her hand over her mouth when she spoke.

"You should be honest about it," Yoh growled. "Stop lying to me. For once during all of this it would have been nice for you to just tell the truth, Anna."

"You don't hate me," she blurted and took a few steps forward. "I know you don't hate me. You're angry. You're in pain. You're lashing out because-"

"Stop pretending you know anything about me," he interrupted bitterly. Anna paused and stared at him with a confused expression, and Pirika seemed to share her sentiment.

"I know you, Yoh," she sighed weakly. "I know how you think and what you-"

"You know nothing about me, Anna," he continued, deciding not to give her the chance to finish her thoughts. "Not anymore. I'm not in pain. I faced it; it's over. And, so are we."

"Yoh, you're being a jerk," Pirika protested. "You don't mean that. Stop it."

"I am not a fool," he sighed and scratched his neck. "You've already made a fool of me once, and I won't let you do it again. It's that simple. I don't need this. I don't need you."

Pirika couldn't believe what she was hearing. She wanted them to talk about their issues, but this was unexpected. Yoh's words severed her skin like ruthless daggers, and pangs of devastation and resentment traveled quickly through her limbs.

The storm no longer held back its downpour. Thick sections of rain fell onto the ground forming large puddles, and the new wet atmosphere dramatically increased the chilling wind. Anna's hair and clothes were completely saturated; her delicate skin was visible through the thin dress she wore and a few strands of her hair were stuck to her forehead. Pirika folded her arms tightly over her chest and trembled as the cold water overwhelmed her. Although Yoh knew it was raining, he didn't seem to care about them becoming wet. The water rolled heavily against his back, but he didn't move.

"I never thought you would say something so terrible," Anna whimpered weakly, "and untrue."

When he didn't reply she continued.

"I deserve this anger." Her voice elevated from the heavy cadence of the rain surrounding them. "I know there is nothing I can say to change the past. But, I know this can be fixed. I know you need me, Yoh. And, I know this because I know you."

"Yoh, please," Pirika sniffed sadly. "Listen to her."

Yoh continued staring at her silently as wet strands of his saturated hair pulled heavily against his neck and shoulders. The previous scowl faded, but there was an expression in his eyes neither of them could decipher. Pirika's fear increased as she waited for a response. She wanted so desperately for him to let go of his anger. This was the only thing in her mind he needed. Anna paused briefly and took four painful steps forward. The water increased the weight of her dress significantly, and his unwavering eyes shattered her confidence.

"Yoh..." She hesitated suddenly and bit her bottom lip. His gaze was too intimidating, forcing her to glance at his neck before whispering, "I love you."

He didn't hear the words but knew from the movement of her lips his thoughts were correct. Pirika gasped lightly and clenched her folded arms. The wind grew mercilessly and seemed to freeze their movements. Anna stepped forward slowly until she stood inches in front of his face before continuing her thoughts.

"Tell me it's not too late," she pleaded as tears quickly mixed with the rest of the water. "Tell me it's not too late for us."

The rain began to slow in pace suddenly as she strained to keep herself from breaking down this close in front of him. Pirika held her breath briefly and stared at her feet. Anna's pain was evident, and her body overflowed with sympathy for the woman. She always believed during this that Anna was confused, that Hao manipulated her somehow and she just needed time to see the reality. Whether or not her assessment was correct was irrelevant. This was just the only thing in her mind that made sense. Yoh and Anna were destined to be together. They were the only constant in Pirika's life, and she needed this to be resolved for her own sanity.

Because if something as sure as the bond between them could fail, where was the hope for the rest of them?

Yoh stared into her eyes wearily without speaking. Honestly, he was pained to see her in this way. Her pain directly triggered his pain. And, for the most part he couldn't bear to see her cry. The anger subsided long ago, but the draining emotion was quickly replaced with overpowering fear. Things were revolving again. In the beginning he blamed himself for pushing her away. This regret quickly grew into jealousy and anger when she left. But now confusion clouded his judgment. He didn't know what to feel. Anna was now standing in front of him, almost beaten, saying all of the things he wanted her to say. She was admitting all of the things he needed to hear from her. But her words gave him no comfort. Her words stung like bitter poison, and he knew he would never recover.

This was definitely the end of the journey. The decision he would make in this moment would surely alter their lives forever.

"Please say something," Anna's frail whisper tortured his entire body. Pirika stared at him again with her eyes widened. She was desperate for an answer as well and couldn't hide her eagerness.

"Anna," he replied softly, pausing briefly to swallow an unpleasant metal taste in his mouth, "what do you want from me?"

"I don't understand," she whimpered. Her thoughts were too jumbled to decipher any riddles.

"Do you want my love," he continued, "or my forgiveness?"

She quickly met his eyes and did not repel the tears that stained her face.

"I can only give you one of them completely."

Pirika's expression quickly faded into a confused frown. His words made no sense to her, and she was growing irritated with the torture. Yoh stared at her with a brown discernment that made her knees weak. Anna understood what he meant just by looking into his eyes. She wiped her face quickly and smiled weakly, ignoring Pirika's surprised gasps.

"I was wrong," she sighed. "You understand me more than I ever imagined."

"I know," he replied.

What's going on? Pirika held her hand over her face suddenly and groaned. What were they doing? This conversation didn't make any sense and she wanted them to stop teasing her.

"Thank you, Yoh." Anna held his hand gently and smiled at him. "Thank you for your kindness."

He pulled her closer and pulled the wet strands of her hair delicately from her face. Their eyes met once more before he kissed her softly on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She pulled his waist and tightened the embrace. He knew she didn't want to let him go, and he was content with staying there as long as possible. Pirika smiled cautiously at them but after taking a few steps forward she whispered bitterly:

"What just happened?"