I am stupidly exhausted right now but I love you all so much that I finished this instead of going to bed, forgoing my eight hours. It'll only be like six by the end of this...
Kathrin J Pearl brought up a good point, that Dean and Castiel seemed to be in a bit of a hurry to get married. Well, yes, they were, but it was amplified by the fact that they weren't originally supposed to get married until the next chapter. However, I do address that particular point in this chapter. (Also, this chapter will be a bit different, so prepare for feels.)
Many thanks to Kathrin J Pearl, Chloe JP, Keefer, charlotte. eliot. 3, Sexy. Lil. Emo, IslanderBib, and egyptian 1995 for your reviews to last chapter!
Lu did end up going to get his tongue pierced early on Friday morning, but by the time Saturday night and their next show rolled around, he'd been sucking on so much ice that he could speak coherently again, which was a relief. Balthazar was still getting used to having rings through his lip again (just as Lu was getting used to the stud in his tongue), so he had to work extra hard to pronounce his words correctly, but he managed better than Lu probably could have.
Castiel had returned from his honeymoon earlier on Saturday, making sure he had enough time to make it to the show by catching a red-eye flight with his new husband. Lu strongly suspected Dean would be waiting backstage when they were finished with the show, but they were newlyweds. They could be forgiven for that.
It was a regular show, nothing out of the ordinary. There was nothing that tipped him off about what was barreling toward him at top speed. Sure, Balthazar openly flirted with basically the whole audience, but that was his standard practice. He would be coming home with Lu at the end of the night. Nothing was different. All he knew was, after they'd taken their final bows and ducked off the stage amid cheers and Balthazar repeating, again, that they were almost finished with their first album (followed by more cheers), Crowley was backstage chatting with someone Lu recognized.
Her face was drawn and haggard. She looked so much older than the last time he'd seen her, and he knew that if she was here right now, it could only be a bad thing. The bottom dropped out his stomach as she turned her head and caught sight of him.
"Hi, Mom," he said anxiously. In his peripherals, he saw Balthazar's head snap in her direction.
Melinda Pellegrino gave him a shaky smile as Crowley took his leave, going to hover near the rest of the band. "Hi, Lu. How've you been?" The Southern twag to her words had never quite melted out of her voice, not like Lu's had.
Unsure of what was happening, he furrowed his brows. "Pretty good. What's going on?"
Her smile dropped. "I tried to call you. Your phone was disconnected, I think."
"I had to get a new phone. The old one fell in the sink."
"And then I went to your apartment. Eve said you broke up?"
"Yeah. Close to two months ago, I think it's been. Maybe three. I moved out ages ago."
"And then I went to Oak Ridge."
"I got laid off. Not too long after Eve dumped me, actually."
"I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible."
"It... it wasn't so bad. We just got a record deal so I don't really have time for work right now anyway. And I'm seeing someone else now, too," he added, more quietly.
She asked carefully, "Do I know them?"
Lu shot a quick glance toward Balthazar, who was keeping one eye on the two of them out of curiosity. It was enough to tip off Lu's mother, though.
"Him?"
Lu sighed. "Yeah. Him." It was a huge weight off his chest to finally admit it to someone, even his own mother. "His name's Balthazar. Balthazar Roché. I like him a lot, too." Suddenly, he couldn't stop talking. "He gave me a place to live after Ray's parents kicked me out, and he drove me around all the time before I got my new car, and he took care of me a few nights I got completely trashed and..." He swallowed nervously. This conversation was growing more and more awkward by the second. "Well, anyway. It's not important. What... what's happening? What's so important that you had to drag down here just to talk to me?"
"Like I said, I tried to call you first. But your phone... It couldn't really wait until the next time you happened to call."
"What couldn't wait?"
She regarded him closely for a few moments, her brown eyes searching, before she sighed. "Your father died on Thursday."
It should not have felt like such a punch in the stomach. He should not have gasped and nearly doubled over so suddenly that he went dizzy. Balthazar should not have had to come sweeping in with just enough time to catch him before he fell over completely. But it did, he did, and Balthazar did. He found himself gripping the side of Balthazar's shirt (which he had put on immediately upon getting backstage) for support, his breathing labored to his own ears. Balthazar's arm was tightly around his waist and his head was spinning and all he could think was, He's dead? He's actually dead?
It was horribly unsatisfying. There was no closure to it. He realized all at once that, yes, he had wanted to see his father one last time to figure out what had happened. He had wanted to talk to him once more, if only to yell at him and let out eighteen years of pent-up anger and aggression.
And now he couldn't because the bastard up and died on him.
"What happened?" he asked hoarsely.
"Your aunt Lisa said he had a heart attack," Melinda said, referring to his father's sister. "It was very sudden."
"Fuck," Lu muttered. "Fuck." It wasn't fair. What was he supposed to do now?
"The funeral is going to be on Monday. I'm flying out tomorrow." She gave him a piercing look. "I think you should come, too. I know you never really forgave him for what happened—"
"You're goddamn right, I didn't," he snapped abruptly, taking them all off guard. "He fucking broke my arm! I was a kid! What kind of dad does that?!"
"Look, Lu," she said softly. Right. Even after not actually living with him for nine years, she still knew exactly how to calm him down. "I know what your dad did to you was unforgivable. I know you hate him. But I also know that part of you still needed to see him. You never got that chance. This is as close to closure as you're going to get now."
He knew she was right. He could feel it just as strongly as he felt Balthazar's hand, pressing but gentle, on his hip. Just as he knew he wasn't dizzy anymore, he could stand on his own, he didn't need to lean on the singer, yet he would continue to do so because it was comforting to know that someone was holding him, he knew that she was right. "I'll think about it," he murmured.
"What's going on?" Raphael asked abruptly, Gabriel trailing him to where Lu, his mother, and Balthazar were standing. Balthazar immediately let go of Lu and the bassist straightened up, pretending he hadn't just been slumped against the blonde. Melinda raised her eyebrows curiously, but Lu knew that she was probably guessing correctly: the band didn't know about their relationship.
"My dad died."
"Oh." Raphael appeared to be struggling to figure out how he should feel. He finally asked, "Are you okay?"
"No, not really." He couldn't adequately explain to them why he was upset, but he was. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, can you just give us a minute? I need to talk to my mom, alright?"
"Yeah, sure." Raphael started backing away, and Gabriel followed his cue. Balthazar left too, after a quick nod from Lu.
"I know this is painful—"
"That's one word for it."
"Honey, please. I know he certainly wasn't about to win any Father of the Year awards, but he was your father. It'll be good for you to go."
"I don't understand why you're even going."
"Because we had a past, Lu. Believe it or not, I was in love with him once. I loved him enough to marry him, and he gave me you, after all."
Lu's chest tightened all over again, but for a different reason. They'd never discussed this before. "I'd have sent me back," he half-joked.
She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "I wouldn't, and I didn't. And if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. For all the bad that's happened, there's been enough good to make it all worth it, and you have always been the best, most important part."
The strawberry blonde swallowed sharply. He wasn't used to hearing anything like this from his mom. They exchanged "I love you"s but nothing this heartfelt. He wondered what else he didn't know about what had really transpired eighteen years ago. What exactly had his mother been forced to give up for him, just to keep him safe and happy?
"Do you know why I named you Lucifer?"
He had to admit, he'd always wondered that. "Because you knew I'd be a little devil?" he asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Not at all. Most people don't know this, but the name Lucifer means 'bringer of light,' and you did. You brought light into my life. Your dad wasn't too happy about it, but I wasn't about to let him name you Donald."
Lu's eyes widened at the fact that he'd almost been named Donald. "I feel like I dodged a bullet there."
Melinda laughed softly.
"I didn't know any of that," he added quietly.
"No, I didn't think so. I never told you, did I? But I'm telling you now, and I've been very fortunate to have you in my life."
Lu nodded briefly. "I... I don't think I ever thanked you for taking me away from him."
"You were just a boy."
"I know. And I wouldn't have understood then what was happening. But I get it now. So... thanks. I love you," he added.
She stroked his cheek, giving him a fond smile. "I love you, too. Everything I did was because I love you. That's why I stayed with him for so long—I thought he could change and I didn't want to deprive you of a father. But when he hurt you like that, I knew it was pointless to hope anymore. I knew you'd be better off without him. We both would. So I did what was best for both of us. For what it's worth, I think you turned out pretty well."
"I had help."
She nodded. "Ray. I'm glad you two have been friends for so long." She chuckled to herself. "You know, I didn't want to uproot you again after I got that job. I was actually glad when he basically demanded to let you live with him. His parents are good people. They were in the audience with me tonight."
"You saw the show?"
Melinda laughed and nodded. "Yes. I can't believe it's actually taken me this long to come see you. I mean, I missed the last few minutes because I wanted to be back here when you left the stage, but I saw most of it."
"So... what did you think?"
"You're very talented," she offered with an embarrassed grin.
"You didn't like it, did you?"
She laughed. "It's not that I didn't like it. I liked the lyrics a lot, honestly. It's just not my preferred style of music. I'll stick with Led Zeppelin, but don't worry about your old mom. I'm proud of you anyway, especially getting that record deal. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that Michael guy you were always complaining about?"
"Oh, he quit. The night Eve broke up with me, actually. Balthazar replaced him."
"I see. And... not that he's not a phenomenal singer, but did he get the job because of you?"
"No—I mean, I agreed to it, but so did Ray and Cas and Gabe. We... I didn't even know him at the time. We weren't... involved until a few weeks ago," he added quietly, glancing at the rest of his band to make sure they weren't listening in.
Gabriel had vanished with Sam, so Heaven only knew what they were getting up to (although Lu could take an educated guess). Balthazar was talking to Castiel, who had leaned back against Dean on the sofa. The guitarist's husband had laced their fingers together and seemed unable to look away from the matching bands on their ring fingers. Raphael and Crowley stood a little further apart from the band, speaking quietly. Lu wondered why their manager was talking to him with such a serious expression on his face.
"So I take it they don't know?"
"Not yet. I'll tell them soon. It's just that... this is new to me."
"Dating a guy?"
"No, not—well, okay, yeah, but I meant dating a bandmate. We're still trying to figure out where we fit together and learn how to be a—a couple" (his voice tripped slightly over the word) "and doing it with the whole band breathing down our necks seems a bit daunting. But we'll tell them soon. There's just been a lot of upheaval lately. For all of us. Cas got married," he added.
"I didn't even know he was engaged."
"Yeah, well, they just got engaged about two weeks ago. They got married last Saturday."
Melinda furrowed her brows. "That seems a little rushed. Why so soon?"
"I think it's because we're going to be touring the coast soon and Dean won't be able to come with us. He has to work and he can't just take time off to follow us around. So they wanted to have as much time as a married couple as they could before they left. Although it'll still suck to be gone, I guess returning home to your husband as opposed to your boyfriend is a bit sweeter."
"I would imagine so." She let out a small sigh. "Well, my flight tomorrow leaves at noon, so I have to head back to Los Angeles soon. I just wanted you to know what was happening. Do you think you'll come to the funeral?"
It just took two seconds of looking at her imploring expression for him to relent. "Yeah, I'll go. I'll book a flight tonight and see you tomorrow."
She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to give his cheek a kiss. "Thank you. I think it could be just the closure you need."
"Yeah, seeing him dead and not being what caused it? I doubt it," he half-joked. His mother gave him a reproachful look. "Sorry," he added.
"I'll see you tomorrow, honey. Call me when you land and I'll come pick you up."
"Yeah, thanks."
As soon as she left, he steered himself back toward his band as they all fell silent.
"Well?" Raphael asked.
"I'm going back to Mississippi for my dad's funeral. Flying out tomorrow. I just have to book a flight, the funeral's on Monday, and I'll try to come back on Tuesday. I am not letting his family try to guilt me into staying."
"Well, that's a relief. It would be a shame to lose our bassist right at the tail end of recording this album," Raphael joked.
Balthazar looked like he wanted to rush right over to him and provide some measure of comfort to him—what, Lu couldn't imagine—but he held himself back, and he was grateful for it. He didn't do public displays of affection well, the catch before he fell notwithstanding, and he'd probably tense up.
"Yeah. I just want to go home and pack before I descend into Hell," he muttered.
After they packed up all their gear and loaded Raphael's drum kit into his truck, Balthazar took Lu right home. He needed to pack his clothes and book his flight and go straight to sleep. He was too emotionally drained for anything else.
I just really wanted Lu to have his tongue pierced again okay? And I know I set an unrealistic goal by saying the swelling went down in a day and a half by sucking on all that ice, but this chapter wouldn't have worked if he could barely talk. So just know! That was a total lie!
But expect smut related to that tongue piercing in the sequel to this story! *waggles eyebrows suggestively*