A/N: Well…I have been writing almost none stop these last three days, and I don't know what it is about me continuing sad storylines this weekend, but it is what felt important doing...so, yes, well...

I'm Really Not Okay

Chapter 2: Sound

The music is turned up.

Burt knows something is not right about it, not right at all, when he does not hear someone singing along.

Usually it is Kurt, or Blaine, sometimes Finn, too.

The missing notes, in voices familiar, have Burt take the stairs as soon as he has shrugged of his jacket, two at a time. The cardio he had been talked into starting after his heart attack is really working for him he is always reminded in moments like this one, when he reaches the top of the flight of stairs without being out of puff.

Burt can tell now, the music is clearly coming...from Kurt's room.

He knocks twice on Kurt's bedroom door.

When there is no answer he slowly opens the door, not intending to cause an uncomfortable situation for anyone.

The music is so loud, really loud, that Burt doubts they will be able to hear him, but he still feels it is important to try.

"Kurt? Blaine?"

The door standing finally fully open Burt is left thinking...

...Okay…definitely not what…I expected...to find.

Kurt, eyes closed, is wrapped up tightly in Blaine's embrace, whose eyes are - in a startling contrast to Kurt's - wide open, upper body half-propped up against the headboard.

Blaine catches Burt's eyes and questioning nod into the direction of Kurt's stereo instantly. But only after briefly moving his left hand to feel Kurt's heartbeat nods for Burt to, …yes, go ahead...and turn of the music altogether.

The music had been loud.

The silence is deafening.

Only turning back around and sitting down on the foot of the bed Burt notices the bandages, wrapped around Kurt's entire left forearm.

"What happened?" Burt asks in a quiet voice.

Blaine's features, harden with pain mixing into the confusion Burt had found in them as soon as he had entered the room. "He, just, he asked me to keep the music on like this, even if he should fall asleep. He,...I think for distraction from, um,...I'm...I'm not sure. Other than that..."

"Okay," Burt replies, frowning deeply himself now, and trying to figure out what to do with that answer.

Left hand still gently resting over Kurt's heartbeat - that had finally tangibly slowed down after the first hour of just lying here together, like this - Blaine is watching for signs of unrest. Blaine takes a deep breath, tries then, again, "He is asleep. He…I think he cut himself," and now tears are running free, running wild from Blaine's eyes, still wide open, like he is afraid to blink, like it might make him miss a single of Kurt's heartbeats. "I don't understand why."

Burt is frozen. And oh gosh he knows it is no help, no help, at all, to Blaine, or Kurt, but for a minute and twenty-three seconds Burt just...cannot...move. One thought replaying in his head, over and over, …not again. Please…not again. And then: Why...now?

"Has he done it before?" Blaine finally whispers into the silence, Burt's reaction hitting him with the sinking feeling that he already knows the answer. But Blaine has seen...I have seen all of you, Love, he thinks eyes fixed on Kurt's features,...and...yes there are scars, but not a single one that to Blaine had looked like one self-inflicted. What if I missed something? What if I missed everything?

Burt can only answer with a shaky nod for a moment longer. "Before he came out to me he did, I think."

"You...you think?"

"He was a minor, so the doctor had told me about cuts she had found on his forearm, during a check up. She said they were only a few, and healing already, but that I should know nevertheless, because something like this could…escalate."

Blaine sits quiet for a moment, then, running his right hand gently through the hair of the boy sleeping curled up into Blaine's chest, asks "Did you ever talk to him about it?"

Burt looks as guilt ridden as Blaine has ever seen him.

Closing his eyes with a deep sigh Burt brings out, "God, I should have, shouldn't I."

Blaine just keeps looking back at Burt sadly.

"Kid,…I…we were not always this close, Kurt and me."

"I know. Kurt has told me about it, a lot actually...But you should have tried still," Blaine says, eyes welling up with fresh tears.

"I know." Burt does not know what else to say.

"I have never seen him look so terrified as today. I…I don't know what to do," Blaine chokes out under his breath, trying hard to swallow back the sob building, finally managing it, reminding himself that...Kurt needs rest.

They stay sitting like this for the next ten minutes, both at a loss for words.

And Blaine finds himself angry with Burt for the first time since he has known the man.

Kurt eventually begins to stir again, having lain there, completely still, all the while, with the tender weight of Blaine's left hand on his chest - trying to keep Kurt's heart safe.

A/N: Okay, I have to ask...that last sentence, too cheesy? I mean it is Blaine so, I figured...go for it. I am not sure I will write more for this, I might. Hope you liked it so far. Would love if you loved it.

Thanxs for reading and reviewing,

xo M