Ch. 1 Welcome to Existence

I tried to cover up Renee's death. She didn't have any family, anyone to report her missing. But I was afraid to let the police find her. They would know a child had been stolen from her body and questions would be asked. It was attention I didn't need. And though I hated myself for doing it, I buried Renee in an unmarked grave in the desert she loved so much. My infallible vampire brain would never let me forget, I would always know the exact place where her body lay; that would have to be good enough.

It was agonizing to think I'd never see her smile again, never hear her laughter ring out. It was pure torment knowing that knowing I would never again hold her in my arms, never feel her warmth sinking into my skin. But I knew how much she cared for the child she carried, and I would not leave that baby alone in the world. I couldn't.

I wasn't naive. I knew there was more to me keeping the child than my attachment to Renee. A part of me knew and understood that I could leave the baby alone in the world and she would be just fine. Some childless couple would adopt her, raise her, love her. She could be normal and happy. But I was afraid.

With Renee gone, I was looking out into a black abyss, and to fall in would mean no return. Left alone, I could very easily succumb to the pain and let myself fall. Suicide wasn't as hard as it looked. Take a bath in an accelerant and light a cigarette. Piss off the wrong coven. Go on a one-way expedition to discover the last werewolves; I heard about a sighting in Poland.

But the more primal part of me, the true vampire self, only ever looks to further its own survival. The baby gave me, the man, a reason to live. The primordial beast knew that. It wanted to live. I could live for her. It wouldnt be easy. But I could do it.

Renee hadn't wanted her doctor to tell her the sex of the baby. She wanted to be surprised.

Charles Jasper, for a boy.

Isabella Marie, for a girl.

"Isabella," I whispered.

The name rolled off my tongue so sweetly I could have cried.

Her eyes like un-creamed coffee were too big for her little face; they widened at the sound of her name from my lips.

She was innocence personified.

What a way to enter the world.

My hands scratched at my chest. My heart was pumping white hot liquid fire through my veins. I couldn't take it anymore. I would stop my own heart if I had too.

But my heart seemed to have developed a mind of its own. It beat faster, as if it were in a rush to do as much damage as possible before I could kill it. With its accelerated beat, the fire burned hotter.

I felt a scream tear out of my throat as my heart beat faster still and the fire burned impossibly hotter. I couldn't hear myself scream over the pain.

Franticly, I clawed at myself, but before I could do any significant damage my heart gave out.

My body froze in shock.

I was dead.

I had died.

But I was still thinking.

"Respire, mi dulce," a voice whispered.

A snarl ripped its way out of my chest and leapt to my feet. I froze with shock again; the sound I'd made belonged to a wild animal, the movements were too fast.

The woman in the room with me. I knew her face.

The woman who bit me.

"Vampire." The word escaped my lips in someone else's voice.

She smiled.

"What have you done to me?"

"Usted parece a mí."

I didn't understand her words.

I didn't care too.

I wasn't even aware of making the decision to kill her. I'd never harmed a woman before, but I was sure this was an exception to the rule.

I was in motion.

But then so was she.

My hands reached for her throat.

I'd throttle her if I had to.

She moved behind me and her foot collided with the small of my back. My body crashed through the wall.

I started to stand up.

To face her again.

Then I heard it.

Heartbeats.

Three.

I inhaled in surprise and-

My teeth sunk into the father's throat first. I heard his family screaming behind me but I didn't care. The taste was outrageously wonderful. The magic in it, warmed my body. I felt his blood dripping down my face, my neck, my chest and I didn't care. I wanted to bathe in it.

I went for the mother next. I heard her praying in Spanish. Her prayers would go unanswered. She tasted different. Sweeter. They had flavors.

The child was a male I felt his tears on my face. I could smell the contents of his bowels had been expelled. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and bit down. His taste wasn't as salty as his father's or as sweet as his mother. A perfect combination of the two. The rich substance flowing from his veins and into my mouth was heaven.

When the boy ran dry, I surveyed the scene. Slowly, my senses were coming back together and now that I could see, I realized that they had been tied to chairs. I was horrified by my action and I backed away from their lifeless bloodless bodies as fast as I could. I stopped when I felt the wall at my back and I slid to the ground and rocked back and forth sobbing.

I was a murderer.

I felt fingertips combing through my hair but this time I didn't have it in me to react.

"Shhh… Este es a quién usted es." She whispered. "Bienvenidos a la existencia."

Isabella's eyes closed. Her breathing changed as she fell deeper and deeper into sleep.

She was so small, I couldn't even feel her weight in my hands. Her body meant nothing in comparison to my strength.

There was nothing to her.

And she was everything.

"Welcome to existence, Little Darlin'."

I inhaled deeply, memorizing her scent.

"I hope you have more luck than I did."

Translations in the order they appear.

"Breathe my sweet."

"You are like me."

"This is who you are."

"Welcome to existence."

My spanish is probably a little off, so I apologize if there are many mistakes with it, but you get the idea ;-)

Also starting a playlist for this story. I'm told its the "it" thing to do for fanfics. Song for this chapter is Sunshine by Keane.