A/N: Standard disclaimer applies to this story. Highlands Girl, a simple thank you doesn't seem sufficient for all the work you do to help me move the story along.

I'm sorry for the wait between the updates, I'm trying to do better, but life isn't cooperating very well right now. Thank you all for your messages, hearing from you means the world to me.

Chapter 15. I don't want to be the girl who has to fill the silence

Stephanie had never been so grateful to hear the buzz of Ranger's phone as she was in the startled silence that followed her words of forgiveness. Her willingness to move past the hurt had been genuine if a bit rushed, as she became keenly aware that the divide, which Ranger had so carefully constructed to keep them apart, was closing rapidly. Unsure if she could handle the breakneck speed, with which their relationship was changing, she welcomed the interruption the call would undoubtedly provide.

The furrow between Ranger's eyebrows deepened, a clear sign that he didn't share the sentiment and wasn't at all eager to release her from his embrace, but stepped back nevertheless, to take the call. Stephanie made a beeline for the window and stared into the darkness outside, her gaze unfocused. It was getting late, and if she didn't want to spend the night on Haywood while Ranger took care of whatever emergency that had come up, she needed to figure out how to get home. She was fairly certain that she didn't have her car at RangeMan and was oscillating between calling Lula and asking one of the guys in the control room for a ride, when two strong arms wrapped around her waist. Involuntarily, her head tilted to the side as soft lips skimmed the shell of her ear.

"I have to go, Babe." Unsurprised, she gave him a slow nod of acceptance, when he added, "Stay with me tonight?"

"Here?" she asked, mentally berating herself for sounding shaky.

Catching the hesitation in her voice, he murmured into her hair, "Steph?" and then turned her gently to face him. Brushing a stray curl behind her ear, he looked into her eyes. "Please, don't shut me out."

She wished she could play her cards closer to her chest, but had little in her arsenal to counter the power of the word 'please', especially when it came from this man. Unable to hold his gaze, she looked away, sighed, and scrambled to come up with a plausible reason why she didn't want to stay at his penthouse. Anything would be better than confessing that the pain from his rejection still haunted her.

Even if he didn't seem to buy her explanation, he didn't press for more and, slipping a set of car keys into the palm of her hand, closed her fingers around it. When she vehemently shook her head, trying to give them back, he said, "You need a car to get home, Babe. Take the Turbo. I won't need it tonight. Remember, you're coming back to RangeMan first thing tomorrow morning."

"Right. I have a date with Morgan." She sighed again. "Too late to see her now."

"A date, Babe?" His lips twitched.

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean," she said quietly, and then added quieter yet, "as if I'd have a real date."

Amusement faded from his eyes as he understood that he'd given her too much space after they'd left the house in Rumson. She'd taken his temporary absence, no matter how justified, for indifference, and he had to act fast to clear up the misconception.

"I'm cashing in your rain check, Babe. Dinner tomorrow. Pick you up at six." Determined to make up for the lost time, he smiled slightly. Tipping up her head, he dropped a kiss to the corner of her mouth and whispered against her lips, "wear something fun."

He left the apartment before she could formulate a response. Dazed, she stared at the closed door. Fun? The hell does he mean by fun? she asked herself, touching a finger to her lips, still tingling from the brief contact. Did he just ask me out on a date? In a Ranger way he did, she supposed. Shaking off her stupor, she shoved the keys to the Turbo into the pocket of her sweats and went into his bedroom to gather her things so she could go back to her place.

The following morning, Stephanie was settled on a cream leather couch in the office next to the RangeMan infirmary, the office she still thought of as Bobby's, and sipping a syrupy-sweet concoction she'd made of her coffee. She'd hoped it would dull the vile aftertaste of the umpteenth herbal infusion Morgan had her drink less than half an hour ago, but to no avail. They'd spent hours, trying everything conceivable, from meditation to needleless acupuncture… As much as she liked Morgan, Stephanie wasn't about to let her stick real needles into her body, not that it would help. She suspected that they weren't going to find a 'coping mechanism', as Morgan had dubbed it, to allow her to share space with more than four immortals at the same time and not black out, today. For all their efforts, the longest she had lasted was ten minutes, and after that, inevitably, it was lights out.

Waiting for Morgan to finish recording the results, or rather lack thereof, Stephanie let her mind wander and was accosted with thoughts about a tornado of changes that had swept through her life. Not much of a planner, she'd usually preferred to wing it, though now it felt wrong to squander a seemingly endless lifetime by settling for mediocrity.

Morgan's voice roused her from her melancholy. She blinked owlishly at the other woman and asked, "I'm sorry, what? I must have zoned out."

"How much sugar did you have today, Steph?"

She frowned, counting. There were two Boston Crèmes she'd picked up on the way to RangeMan that morning, a blueberry muffin she'd snagged in the break room, a few mugs of coffee loaded with sugar, and a bar of chocolate from the emergency contraband stash she'd restocked in her cubby. "Six servings, give or take?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"A bit of both?" Stephanie shrugged nonchalantly. "Why?"

Morgan picked up her black mug off a mother of pearl coaster and took a large swallow of tea. "I was just thinking that a diet with less refined sugar…"

"Na-uh!" Stephanie cut her off, "Is he in on this?" She lowered her voice to imitate Ranger, "Babe, that stuff will…" and stopped abruptly before finishing the sentence.

"Omigod!" She set her mug on a coffee table with a thud, turning a wide-eyed stare at Morgan. "That can't be. Is that why he eats that damn rabbit food?" She blinked slowly and muttered, "but I can't! This and the jelly doughnut hormones? I'll go crazy."

"Steph?" Morgan's eyebrows climbed, as she tried to make sense of Stephanie's rant. "I'm not sure I follow. You can't be this upset about curbing your sugar intake?"

Stephanie flushed crimson and bit her bottom lip before speaking. "I'd rather faint than deal with the fallout from being off sugar."

"Okay, diet's out then," Morgan said pensively, but didn't pry, accepting Stephanie's non-explanation.

After a beat of silence, she rubbed the bridge of her nose, frustrated by her inability to help Stephanie, and then spoke in a tight voice, "I knew a woman, years ago. Her fainting spells were just as bad as yours, if not worse. But, last I heard, she'd since learned to control them."

"How?" Stephanie asked, thinking that if Morgan couldn't help, this other woman might.

"Can't tell you." Morgan smiled mirthlessly. "We're not exactly what you'd call friends."

"Well, then maybe I should talk to her myself?"

"Easier said than done. For one, I haven't seen her in years. I know she lived in Europe for a while, but I'm not sure exactly where. Though, I'd imagine she still visits Paris."

Stephanie might have imagined a barely audible insult Morgan had uttered about the woman under her breath, but she didn't give it much thought before blurting out, "Then I'll go to Paris!" and snorted, "Yeah, sure. That'll happen."

Morgan shook her head at Stephanie's self-deprecating humor. "I'll see if I can get you a better address."

Glancing at the wall clock, Stephanie realized that Ranger would be picking her up in about five hours, so she bid Morgan a good weekend and rushed out. In the garage, she climbed into her clunker and started it without a hitch. Hector must have had it delivered from Al's on a flatbed, since she hadn't seen it in her lot in the morning when she'd left in Ranger's Turbo, and the clutch was now fixed. Making a mental note to thank her guardian angel, she floored the gas.

Driving by Pino's, she decided to pick up a sub for lunch and pulled into the lot. Morelli's truck was parked by the door. We were bound to run into each other eventually, she thought, angling the car into a vacant space. Climbing out, she dragged her purse from the back seat and walked inside. Spotting Joe by the bar with a bottle of root beer and two slices of pizza, she guessed that he was working. After placing her order to go, she slowly made her way toward him.

"Hey, Steph. You sure know how to liven up a wake." He chuckled at his shameless pun. "You're the talk of the town. Been taking lessons from your Grandma? Face planting in the middle of Rossini's like that… Takes skill."

"Screw you, Morelli!" She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

He flashed a lecherous grin. "Hate to break it to you, Cupcake, you already did."

"Oh, gimme a break." She thumped his bicep. "I got lightheaded."

He took a long pull from the bottle, thoughtfully looking her up and down, his gaze briefly stopping on her midsection. "You pregnant?"

"What? No!" Indignant, she raised her voice, forgetting that Joe had no idea that she was now sterile. "How the hell can I be pregnant?"

"Christ, Steph! Chill." He raised his hands in surrender, "I had no idea it's been that long for you. Stop by my place, I'll explain the birds and the bees. Jog your memory?" He waggled his eyebrows. "You know, for the old times' sake?"

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll pass," she said casually, her mind drifting.

It wasn't all that surprising that the reminder of the loathed grapevine cinched her decision to go to Europe. When she'd told Morgan she would go to Paris she'd thought she was joking, but standing in the middle of Pino's, exchanging barbs with her ex-boyfriend gave her the clarity she'd been searching for ever since she'd found out she'd become immortal. For the first time in her life, she had the means and opportunity to do what she wanted. So she'd take a vacation, mix business with pleasure so to speak. And if she learned something on the way, great, and if not, traveling around Europe wasn't the worst way to spend a few months.

"Anything to help a friend…" Joe continued, missing the faraway expression on her face.

"Ugh. Shut up."

She shoved him off the creaky stool, making a spur of the moment decision to tell him that she was going on vacation. In a backward way, Morelli knowing about her plan guaranteed that she'd stick to it, if only to avoid his merciless ribbing. It was Saturday, so she'd give herself a day or two to settle things with Dillon, Vinnie, and her parents, and fly out the following Tuesday.

Unfazed, Morelli climbed back on the stool and gave her a warm smile that only six months ago would have surely gotten him into her bed, but she was determined not to fall back into that pattern. While she wasn't totally unaffected by his charm, she'd been on that merry-go-round more times than she should have, and knew all too well it wasn't worth the baggage.

"Your loss, Cupcake."

"I'm serious, Joe, cut it out. I'll tell you something, if you promise to keep it to yourself. At least for now."

He pretended to lock his lips and throw away the key, and waited.

"I'm getting out of town for a while..."

"Why?" His eyebrows rose in genuine surprise. "You want maybe I kick someone's ass for you?"

"No, Joe." She had a feeling that he had a particular ass in mind, but he was off the mark. "I'm just tired of feeding the rumor mill." She let out a slow breath, realizing that she couldn't very well tell him that she was going on a wild goose chase across Europe after some immortal woman, who might help her learn to control her dizzy spells. Here's to walking a mile in Ranger's shoes, she thought with a twinge of remorse, before focusing on Joe again to spin a believable story.

"Remember Mike Kaminski?"

"Quiet carrot-top? Glasses? Yeah, he was a year behind me in school. Why?"

"His aunt Marlene runs a travel agency on Hamilton. After I took her to the station to get re-bonded yesterday, she gave me a few brochures. I think I'm going to Europe."

"You think you're going to Europe? Just like that?" He stared at her, incredulous. "Point Pleasant doesn't cut it anymore?"

"I need to get away, sort things out. Decide what I want to do with the rest of my life."

"That's deep, even for you, Steph. What does your Ma have to say about that?" When she hesitated before responding, Joe gave a low whistle. "She doesn't know yet! Oh, good, Cupcake. Real good. You know, I'd sit through dinner with your folks to hear that conversation."

"I've never been to Europe, Joe," she said quietly, "and now that I want to go, I actually can. Something's wrong with that?"

"Running away never solves anything." He narrowed his eyes at her. "What about Mañoso?"

"It's not about him." She said in a rush. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

It wasn't as though Joe and Ranger would compare notes, so she decided that her little white lie wouldn't hurt either of them. She had the rest of the weekend to figure out how to tell Ranger, but Morelli didn't need to know that.

"You never did listen to me, Joe. Ranger and I are just friends. That hasn't changed after you and I broke up."

Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, a small voice said in her head. It's not as if you have a date in a couple of hours… or wait, you do. So, cut the crap and get out of here, you've told Joe enough.

His voice cut through the white noise of her mental monologue. "He's not stopping you?"

"No, I'm doing this for me. And he respects my decision." Or at least I hope he will, she added to herself.

"Like I said before, poor dumb bastard." Joe smirked. "Though, he's dumber than I thought if he's letting you go. He's gotta be blind…"

She shot him a glare, her voice growing uncharacteristically sharp. "Don't go there."

She hadn't talked to Joe about her relationship with Ranger while they were a couple and wasn't about to start now that they were, whatever it was that they were. Not friends yet, not after the semi-recent break-up. Former lovers? Didn't matter in the grand scheme of things, she decided. Wasn't something she had to worry about. She needed to get ready for her date tonight and pack a bag for her trip. Picking up the takeout off the counter, she said, "I should get going. I'll be seeing you, Joe."

He nodded and rose off his bar stool to pull her into a tight hug. Startled by the sudden move, she hugged him back and heard his murmured, "don't be a stranger, Cupcake," before stepping back and clearing her throat to speak. "Bye, Joe."

As he watched Stephanie pull out of Pino's parking lot, Joe couldn't shake off a feeling that this was the last he was going to see of his Cupcake. Although, he had to concede that she wasn't his anymore, and if he were totally honest, she never truly had been. He ran his hand through his hair and tossed a few bills on the bar; Brown's body wasn't going to find itself, and he was getting static from the chief for not having any viable leads. He smirked when it occurred to him that Steph's leaving might rattle Mañoso enough to get him off the chief's back and the open case of the missing body into the cold case files. And maybe after the dust settled, he'd even feel bad for his adversary, since neither of them had gotten the girl at the end.