When the day after his fight with Mia dawned, Harry felt like he had knot blocking his throat. A really big one. He didn't have class with her that day but he certainly had to at least apologize to Mia – it was just the least he could do, after his asinine performance in the previous day. All night long he'd thought of what to tell her and had successfully come up with a big, heart-touching speech at some point. Little problem, though – he could barely remember a single word of it now… It was like having gone to sleep had deleted that epic speech out of his head (except this little yet very meaningful part that took part after the apology and had come to him like an epiphany) and now there he was, trying to compose it again.
"You don't need any big shot speech for anything," Ginny told him, rolling her eyes when he happened to mention the case to her in the morning as he walked with her to the Great Hall. "You only need to apologize to her – tell her what you feel. That will be worth ten times more than some deeply trained speech, Harry."
"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled as he walked, looking down with his hands shoved into his pockets. "But last time I went ahead and told Mia exactly what I felt, I ended up saying too much," he said, recalling his… mishandling of the Horcrux situation in the previous day.
Now, after a long night of sleep, a talk with Ron and Hermione, then Ginny and then Izzy – that last one involving her calling him an idiot repeatedly, which he hadn't really denied, and kicking him once in the shins like her six-year-old self used to do (Harry had this theory that Izzy tended to downgrade in terms of mental age whenever she was pissed off, which would explain the kicking) before beginning to get over it and proceeding to discuss what he already knew and what he was planning to do about the Horcruxes – he realized that his words about 'Mia's life being easier without him there' had not only hurt his godmother, maybe even more so than the Horcrux situation itself, but also not been true at all.
"Well, bite your tongue if you feel something stupid like that coming," Ginny told him, rolling her eyes. "A burden… Sometimes I wonder why you guys even have a brain if you clearly forget to use it most of the time. "
Harry sighed. "Alright, I wasn't really thinking well at the time but it made sense in my head," he mumbled lamely. "So, what do I tell her? I just can't think."
Ginny gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm as they stopped in front of the Great Hall's doors. "Start with 'I'm sorry'. The rest will come as you speak," she told him. "Take my word – I'm the master of apologies. I've had enough training: Mom always made me apologize to that git Percy for completely messing up his room whenever he acted like a pompous prat to the rest of us. Before she grounded me, that is…"
"I'll go ahead and assume that happened a lot," Harry stated.
She grinned. "A lot, really. Half the time Mom would end up demanding he apologized back to me because my apologies were sooo convincing – I don't think I need to tell you I rarely meant them. Anyway, if I managed to pull it off so many times not meaning it, I bet Mia will understand when say you're sorry and actually mean it. Just don't overthink it. And speaking of the devil…"
Harry looked in the same direction Ginny was facing and, through the large arch that led to the main staircase, caught a glance of his godmother emerging from the entrance of the first floor, walking up the stairs in a hurried pace with Sirius by her side, apparently as both of them headed somewhere in a rush with rather annoyed expressions on their faces. Neither of them seemed to have spotted him or Ginny standing there as they didn't turn their heads or stopped walking at all, disappearing around the corner a few seconds after Ginny had first spotted them.
"Where do you figure they're going?" Ginny asked him with her eyebrows raised.
He shook his head. "No idea," he mumbled, concluding that maybe he should delay his apology to Mia for another couple of hours – she definitely hadn't seemed in a forgiving mood right now…
"Potter, Weasley!" a very unpleasant voice shouted from behind them all of a sudden. The two of them turned to see themselves facing none other than Snape, as dark and sober as ever. "Are you intending to stand here in the middle of the hall blocking the way all day or are you planning to move at some point to get your breakfasts and go to classes like you're supposed to?" he asked, even though they were far from blocking the way to anyone – there were at least eight feet between them and the door of the Great Hall and there were several people standing much closer to it than them.
Harry locked his jaw, forcing the spiteful response that had been about to roll off his tongue to remain inside his mouth – he already had detention on Saturday for helping Neville with a spell during his last DADA class and he certainly didn't need his weekend ruined too…
"Why, we had no idea you needed so much space in order to get into the Great Hall, Professor," she said in an all-too-sweet tone before taking a step back and gesturing her hand towards the large wooden doors of the Great Hall. "Please, do pass."
The teacher mumbled something under his breath and, after grimacing at Harry, he walked into the Great Hall on his own.
Harry sighed then. "I just don't get how you can get away with telling him stuff like that – I think you all but accused him of either being fat, which he isn't, or not being able to walk in a straight like," he mumbled. "He'd have given me a night of detention just for opening my mouth."
Ginny flashed him a grin. "Must be my charms and sparkling personality," she replied with a bright smile on her face. "Or maybe he just doesn't want to give you the pleasure of having your girlfriend serving detention along with you."
He shrugged. "Maybe."
She chuckled and got a hold of his hand. "Come on, Harry, let's feed you some breakfast. According to Ron, food heals everything from depression to dragon pox."
Harry groaned. "If only…
"You're sure McGonagall said he was in his office?" Mia asked as she and Sirius rushed through the hallways of the school, heading to the headmaster's quarters.
Her husband nodded, following her. "I'm sure. She mentioned Dumbledore arrived from his little mission, or whatever he was doing all day yesterday, a couple of hours ago and headed straight to his office." Though their chat had been cut short because he'd been on a rush to go and tell Mia about all of it, Sirius had noted that McGonagall had also seemed quite irritated with the Headmaster when he'd ran into her only ten minutes before – no doubt because Dumbledore must have refused to share with her whatever he'd been doing on his own during the past day…
"Good," his wife mumbled through her teeth as her pace became even more slightly rushed, so willing she was to reach the headmaster. "Then I can finally give him a piece of my mind. Did you ask her for the password to get in the office?" Mia asked as she spotted the gargoyle at the end of the hallway they'd been walking along.
He nodded. "Yeah. 'Chocolate and Raspberry Wands' – I'd never heard of that one before. Must be some foreign sweet."
"Must be," she mumbled absently before repeating the password to the gargoyle, which opened way for them to climb up the narrow stairwell that led up to the antechamber that preceded Dumbledore's office.
Sirius cleared his throat as they reached it and Mia headed straight to the office's door. "You should probably knoc…" But he wasn't able to finish saying that as Mia simply burst the door open and barged into the room. "Oh, never mind."
"We need to talk," Mia announced in a firm tone.
The fact that, despite the sudden entrance, Dumbledore didn't seem at all surprised to see her had Sirius wondering, as he walked in after Mia, if somehow the older guy had a way of knowing exactly who was coming up to his office even before they stepped in. The older man simply sat peacefully behind his desk with an unreadable look on his face as he observed Mia. Sometimes the guy was just a downright mystery…
"Amelia, fancy to see you," Dumbledore said pleasantly before turning to Sirius and giving him a nod. "Sirius."
"Dumbledore," he replied, remaining neutral in all that. I felt so weird having to be the rational one for once. Maybe he should start giving Mia more credit for putting up with his antics with Snape…
"Why didn't you tell us about the Horcruxes, Albus?" Mia demanded, leaving aside any sort of build up to her words. She stood a couple of feet away from the desk with her hands on her hips and looking at the headmaster with a rather intimidating expression on her face. "We had a right to know!"
"So, young Harry has told you about them, then," Dumbledore concluded quietly.
"No, he didn't, actually. I accidentally heard him discussing it with his friends and then he told us," she replied angrily. "And from what I gather, you've known about them for years!"
He sighed. "Amelia, please sit down."
"No. I'd rather stay up," she told him stubbornly, crossing her arms against her chest.
Sirius sighed. Now she was throwing a tantrum or something – for Mia those were rare outside of pregnancy and when they came… well, it was as far as it could be from great. It looked like he'd need to make some damage control before she made anything blow up with her wand…
He approached her from behind, his hand touching her back softly and his lips reaching towards her ear – he figured a gentle approach would be easier on everyone, including himself. "Calm down, love. Sit down and let Dumbledore explain," he whispered to her.
She turned to him for a moment and, thank Merlin, didn't seem very bummed for him having butted in. Mia just let out a groan and said an annoyed 'fine'. She reached for a wooden chair resting in front of the desk and sat down, while Sirius did the same by her side. Then, she aimed her best glare back at Dumbledore, silently demanding for him to speak.
The headmaster let out a breath, then. "Sirius, Amelia, I never meant to keep this… Horcrux situation from you."
"You didn't make a very good job making it seem that way, Dumbledore," Mia pointed out. "If you have first learned about them after that Chamber of Secrets fiasco, you've known this for nearly four years and none of us had any idea until the day before yesterday. If that's not keeping it from us, I honestly don't know the meaning of the expression 'keeping something from someone' at all."
Dumbledore sighed. "I realize that, Amelia. Believe me, I do." He took a moment to weigh his words before saying them. "Harry was twelve… no, nearly thirteen years old back when I discovered this through the diary. He was practically a child himself. If I told you about the Horcruxes back then, I'd have to tell you about the prophecy too. And what would you have done, Amelia, if I had told you that not only Harry was destined to defeat Lord Voldemort but also that it would be a task several times harder than it seemed because he'd split his soul into pieces in order to fool death? Would you have told him? Especially when, back then, you would have needed to deal with it on your own since Sirius was still imprisoned?"
Mia didn't respond because she didn't know how to answer that. Back then, the only person that had even remotely helped her with parenting was Lulu – and frankly, Mia was pretty sure Lulu wouldn't have an answer for that either… What would she do, faced with something like that? Telling him would have been… crushing. Too much weight to put over a boy just growing out of his childhood. But not telling him either… she'd just had quite a row with Harry for that exact same reason. It would be at the very least hypocrital considering doing the same. And how it irritated her that Dumbledore had just made a fair point…
"What I thought and still think I was doing by not telling you back then," Dumbledore continued, "was choosing between you having to make that choice and facing Harry every day knowing the truth or me doing it instead because it would cost me less, Amelia."
Mia gritted her teeth, then, annoyance increasing. "I'm a grown person, Albus! I don't need you or anyone protecting me from the truth. Especially if the truth is about my son!"
She was getting explosive again, Sirius observed. He reached with his hand to touch hers, making her momentarily look at him – it either meant she'd explode at him next or she'd calm down… hopefully, it was the latter. When she didn't speak and simply closed her mouth, locking her jaw as if trying to keep the words from leaving her mouth, Sirius concluded it was something in between. He turned to Dumbledore himself, then, taking his turn at the conversation. "Look, Dumbledore, what bums us the most isn't you not having told us back then, it's you having told Harry and not even mentioning it to us before, during or after you did it."
"You should have come to us first," Mia spoke again. "Or at the very least asked us to be there when you told him. Why the hell didn't you? Do you think we wouldn't let him do what he has to do? Destroy those Horcruxes? Because we don't have any other choice but letting him, knowing what we know!"
"It wasn't for anything such as that," Dumbledore told them. "Not telling you myself… I was counting on Harry telling you on his own…"
"But he didn't! And I'd bet anything that you knew he hadn't told us, maybe even why he hadn't and still didn't say a word, Albus," Mia replied.
Dumbledore nodded – there was no use denying it to them. He'd done it thinking it was for the best, after all. "Yes, I knew he'd decided not to tell you about the Horcruxes but when I asked him why, he responded saying it was for the best. I had to respect his decision, Amelia. If I didn't, I might lose his trust…"
"Well, that makes a lot of sense except what about our trust, Dumbledore?" Sirius asked, stepping into the conversation this time. "We put our lives in your hands over and over, tell you all we know and now you've pretty much kept us in the dark about everything that happened in your lessons with Harry and the Horcruxes. Let's put it like this: if he was your kid, wouldn't you want to know if the lunatic who'd been trying to kill him since he was a baby had split his soul into seven parts? Thinking that would help him beat death in some twisted way? Wouldn't you be pretty angry if someone you trusted kept that from you on purpose?"
Dumbledore didn't respond – they were right about that. As much as he didn't want it to be true, it was. He knew he was growing desperate. The clock was ticking faster and faster for him – he might have months ahead of him or maybe just weeks. It was hard to tell. Though it was unknown to everyone, his death was imminent and as much as he didn't fear death itself, he feared leaving unfinished business behind, which was revealing itself to be an inevitability. Having Harry's trust was essential now more than ever because, after he was gone, all would fall on the boy. He felt for him, mourned for the task that had been placed upon him but there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do now was preparing him but maybe he had gone too far trying to keep his trust…
Mia huffed and rejoined the argument. "You should have just come to us or at least hinted something! Harry is not some… completely parentless boy that needs to deal with troubles on his own already. He has us! You had no right to keep us in the dark, Albus. He's still underage. Until the day he turns seventeen, Sirius and I are responsible for him."
"I understand," Dumbledore said, his tone very low, almost timid. "Maybe I didn't handle this in the best way."
The look that Mia gave him clearly meant a sarcastic "Don't say…" She didn't speak it out loud though, not feeling like upsetting herself further by yelling at the headmaster. It was just bizarre lecturing a guy old enough to be her… great-great-grandfather or something. Especially when that guy was, well, a model and a legend to most of the Wizarding World, including herself.
"So…" Sirius started, intending to avoid the silence that was threatening to arrive, "this Horcrux thing… did you find any other during your absence?"
"I didn't, no. But I believe I may be close to one… the lead that I'm following is a strong one. Maybe you should know Harry insisted I let him help me get the next one and destroy it," the headmaster told them, trying to ease the tension by being open to them. "I hope you don't have a problem with that."
Maybe they did, Mia thought. But on the other hand, they didn't really have a choice if they wanted Harry to be ready for whatever was to come, did they?
"Just how hard are they to destroy?" Sirius asked. "Harry said something about your…" he gestured with his own hand, not sure 'dead hand' would be a very tactful way to put it. "Is that… usual? Serious injuries?"
Dumbledore sighed and lifted the damaged limb to show it to them – thank Merlin, they thought, it was wrapped with bandages, blocking it from their sight. For a moment, the healer in Mia wondered if it had gotten even worse… if it was even possible, that was. "I'm afraid this was only the product of my own foolishness," the headmaster told them sadly. "The object that held the Horcrux itself was cursed and I didn't consider that – I've already warned Harry against the dangers of Horcruxes and I'm sure he was already aware of them after all he witnessed Tom Riddle's diary doing to Miss Weasley, so I'm fairly sure he won't be tempted to underestimate the danger." Dumbledore sighed, then. "It's a lot of pressure to put on a boy of his age but Harry has proven himself capable many times already."
"We know," Mia mumbled before suddenly standing up before he had a chance to apologize – she couldn't deal with letting Dumbledore off the hook just yet. "I'm late for class already. I should go."
The headmaster nodded and stood up as well like Sirius did. "I won't keep you any longer."
Mia responded with another nod and turned around to walk away and get out of the office. It was only after she'd reached the bottom step of the spiral staircase connecting the office to the rest of the castle that she turned to face Sirius. She was about to say something but stopped herself.
"What?" her husband asked.
"Nothing. It's just… I'll never figure that guy out. Dumbledore. He's just… so complicated to deal with sometimes," she said, looking away again.
"Tell me about it. I spent all the time you were speaking trying to read the expressions of his face and I barely got a thing," Sirius told her. "It's amazing how cool he could remain while you were there yelling at him, though there was a flicker of regret once or twice…"
She sighed before looking up at him again. "I'm sorry I took over that fight. I… you probably had stuff to say too. I barely gave you chance to open your mouth…"
Sirius shook his head immediately, letting her know he hadn't minded. "No, it's okay. You spoke well enough for both of us, love. Actually, you're better with the yelling thing than I am – I suppose mocking and sarcasm suits me better, though I don't think I could pull it off with Dumbledore. He's just… Dumbledore. Mocking him would be just weird."
"Well, imagine yelling at him," Mia replied, taking a deep breath. "Look, I really should go. I'll be lucky if the second years are still in the classroom waiting for me…"
"Well," Sirius started, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead, which made her relax a little, "go and be a teacher. I'll see you later, then."
She gave him a small smile and motioned to walk away, heading to her classroom. Somehow, she thought, it was barely nine in the morning and the day already felt endless…
Later, during the mid-morning break from classes, she didn't feel half as stressed or half as upset as she had before. Teaching was good to her… well, unless, like the day before, Mia was just too nervous to concentrate on it, which (to the relief of many students who'd also had class with her in the previous day and witnessed the pitiful lectures) wasn't repeating itself.
She had been busy behind her classroom desk reading some notes for the next class when a voice sounded in the room. "I'm sorry."
Even if she hadn't recognized Harry's voice immediately, Mia wouldn't have needed to look up in order to know it was him standing there. She took a deep breath before lifting her face in order to face him: the look on his face was quite unsure and he seemed to be biting his lower lip nervously. Mia sighed, then, putting the roll of parchment with the notes written on it back down on her desk and getting up.
"Come with me," she instructed her godson, nodding towards the door that led to her office – she figured it might be a good idea not to have that conversation in her classroom since the students for her next class would be showing up in roughly twenty minutes and some tended to arrive far ahead of time – she couldn't risk them walking in on them talking about such personal matters. It was… personal.
Harry followed her into the office and stood awkwardly in the centre of it as his godmother closed and locked the doors, trying to keep the conversation private. What was he supposed to say now? Ginny had said it would flow out but it just wasn't happening! Maybe he should say it again… "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't. Not with the Horcrux thing or the burden thing. I just…"
Mia didn't let him finish – taking an understanding tone. "Sirius told me about what you talked about with him yesterday, so you don't need to explain it again, Harry," she declared quietly before letting out yet another sigh and sitting on her sofa, which he also did, putting his book bag down on the floor. She'd spent the past night trying to settle on what to do with Harry and the decision had come eventually. "Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me next time you'll just come to Sirius or to me and tell us whatever it is that is bothering you. I know you were just trying to protect me but I deal better with bad news that with no news, Harry."
He nodded, glad she put it in such simple terms. "Okay… I can promise that. And on what I said about the burden…"
Her face hardened for a moment – that was still a sensitive matter. "You'll be in big trouble if I ever hear you saying that again or even get a wind that you're thinking it, Harry James Potter!" she warned him, narrowing her eyes to slits.
He gulped before clearing his throat. "So noted. But I just wanted you to know that… you never gave me a reason to feel like that. It was stupid of me. So…" he started, hesitating, "I'm sorry for it." There was a silent pause before he spoke again. "Are we good?"
Mia sighed and reached forward, enveloping her godson in a tight hug, which completely caught him by surprise, making him only respond to it after a few seconds. "You silly boy. What on Earth am I going to do with you?" she whispered, rubbing his back for a few moments as she held him.
"I have no idea," he replied. A few seconds later as they pulled away, Harry glanced at her with a confident look on his face and an expression that seemed to be leaning towards a smile. She could tell forgiveness had been a genuine relief to him. "Can I make you another promise?" he asked her, then.
Mia raised an eyebrow, wondering what it was but gave him a nod. "As many as you want."
He took a gulp before speaking. "If," he paused, shook his head and started again. "When this is all over, Voldemort is gone and we can go on with our lives," he said, hoping, dearly hoping, that time would arrive at some point, sooner rather than later, "I promise I'll start calling you 'Mom'."
She felt her whole body freeze as soon as she heard those words and spent at least ten seconds just staring at him. "Harry…" she started feebly. "You know I don't mind you not… you don't have to."
He shook his head. "But I want to. I never called it to you before because… well, because I just got used to calling you Aunt Mia. That was what you always called yourself when you talked to me."
Mia nodded and let out a deep breath. "It felt like a betrayal to Lily telling you to call me Mom or giving myself that title when speaking to you, Harry. It was just a title but… it felt important to keep it saved for Lily back then…"
Harry shook his head once again. "She'd understand. I can't actually remember her but people, especially you, Sirius and Remus, tell me so much about her and my dad that it feels like I really know them. And the Lily Potter that I know in my head wouldn't mind at all me calling you Mom after you've acted as just that since I was a baby. What you said yesterday after I said the… er… burden thing… it really got to me. I never questioned that you were also my mom but what you said… it made me realize I want to call you that. I could start doing it now but it seems more meaningful to do it after the storm is over." Sort of like a reward, he imagined.
She bit her lower lip for a fraction of a second before sighing and pulling him into yet another hug, making him chuckle. "Thank you, Harry. Just… thank you." Funny how that gesture meant to her so much more than she'd thought before… Merlin, she hoped she wasn't heading towards a whole weeping session, Mia thought as she took a deep breath and pulled away from him. "It will be something to look forward to."
He grinned. "Yeah, some here. So… I'm really off the hook?"
Mia chuckled. "As long as you keep that first promise you made, yes, you are."
"I'll do all I can to," Harry vowed solemnly before getting up and reaching for his bag of books. "So… I should go. I have Potions now with Slughorn."
Mia nodded and got up as well, leading him to the door that led straight to the castle's corridor and opening it. Just as he was about to turn back around, she touched his arm, making him look back at her. "Be careful, okay?" she requested. Her tone showed she didn't just mean during his way to the dungeons
Harry replied by nodding his head. "I always am." And with that, he turned around and sped away so he wouldn't be late.
Mia sighed, closing the door again. A smile crept on her face as she sat. Usually, one said that when things seemed like they couldn't get worse, they did. Now, after earlier that morning she'd thought things were so bad that it would be nearly impossible for them to get better, they had. And that was a pretty good feeling.
A/N: As I had warned, a delay did happen... sorry guys. Internship is fun but it's also murder... I get home pretty much exhausted and finding time to write is, well, like finding the right numbers for the lottery. But I still managed. I hope you liked the chapter. Feedback is sooo welcome - review!