Chapter Seven

She couldn't ignore that both Jonas Stern and Stanley Holt forgot their eyes on her legs as she took a seat in their presence. She didn't mind this open admiration as long as it didn't cross a line, which was not entirely the case with one of these gentlemen. But she'd always managed to demand the necessary respect from both men and women, especially if that person was someone she had to work with on a regular basis.

She wasn't sure why she'd been called in to this sudden meeting that morning, but she'd suspected that it might have had something to do with Will and she was proven right.

"We just wanted to make sure there are no hard feelings," Jonas cut to the chase right away, "Choosing Will doesn't imply that you are less qualified."

"I know," she nodded and tried to show them with a short smile that she was all right with the situation.

"You know how these things work," Stanley started to explain, "We are on the same page with him. He is our guy and we'd love for him to accept the offer."

Of course Diane knew how the good old boys club worked and Will had always been a team player, it was just a matter of time for him to get ahead.

"It seems to us that he's hesitating," Jonas took over again, "Is there anything you could do to convince him?"

Diane hadn't really expected this request, but it seemed logical that they wanted her on the same page.

"It's his decision and of course I'll support him whatever he chooses to do," she gave the most polite answer she could think of. The rest was definitely none of their business.

"Fair enough," Stanley replied and looked at her for a short while before he added, "But just in case there's something you could do, we would be very grateful."

Diane wasn't in the need for their gratitude, in fact she couldn't care less about their motives, she had her family to think of, it was their future this decision was about.

"I can make no such promise," she underlined her previous statement and she could see that both men looked a little disappointed.

She found it rather disturbing that they even thought she had such power over Will and was willing to use it in their favor.

"All right, let's just hope he will deliver some good news to us next week," Jonas obviously closed the conversation and gave her a permission to go, but Diane looked at Stanley as well just in case, before she stood up and left the office, ignoring the thought that probably both men were looking at her behind as she walked away from them.

When she got back to her office, she closed the door, she needed the silence inside. The calmness she'd forced on herself during the meeting already disappeared and it slowly started to give its way to the feeling of dissatisfaction.

Part of her life meant being the supportive wife of the man she loved, nevertheless she still couldn't forget about her own ambitions that might have faded a little throughout the last years, but they were still inside of her. It was more than clear that she wouldn't have been able to get ahead had she stayed where she were, no matter how qualified she was to achieve more in her life. She would always be the wife of a name partner first that would constantly overshadow her other abilities.

Not to mention if Will had joined these two men he would have become one of them, they would always have control over him and sooner or later they would turn him into themselves. She wasn't so sure anymore that she wanted to stay there and wait for this to happen, she had much different ideas of a well functioning firm, where the power wasn't in the hand of men alone. She believed that for a good leadership both female and male peers were needed, that was the very idea of the new law firm they were about to found.

Ironically this meeting where Stern and Holt had tried to reassure themselves of her support, worked against them in the end. It made Diane realize why the road she and Will had originally wanted to go on was the only road for her in the future and why she had no more time to waste to achieve that dream, with or without Will.

o-o-o

"You and daddy are still not talking to each other?"

Diane turned back and despite the dark she could make out the face of her daughter who was supposed to be falling asleep already, but her eyes were wide open instead. She went up to her bed, sat down on the side and stroking her face gently she looked into her anxious eyes.

"Darling, you have to believe when I say you have nothing to worry about."

"So you are not going to divorce?" Em asked with fear in her voice.

"Divorce? No, we are not," she replied firmly, because no matter how unrealistic her question was, she knew it was probably very serious in her little head and she wanted to make her doubts disappear at once.

"Are you sure?"

Diane saw her daughter's uneasiness and she tried to think of a satisfying answer she could give her, without being accused of a lie later on, because she obviously couldn't promise that they would stay together forever.

"Of course I'm sure. Daddy and I couldn't be happier with you and Nat in our lives, we love you both very much and we will always be here for you."

After a short consideration Emma's lips curled up to a smile and she reached out her arms to fold them around Diane's neck. She pulled her close and gave a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you too, mommy," she said and Diane gave her a kiss in return.

"But now you really should sleep," she pulled away as the girl let go of her.

"Good night," she whispered and curled up on her side, "Give daddy another kiss from me."

"I will. Sweet dreams."

She closed the door behind her and stood there for a while, thinking about what had just happened. Emma was right after all, she didn't really talk much to Will that night either. It wasn't because she didn't have anything to tell him, right the contrary. She had something really important to tell him, she just wasn't sure how.

She wanted to tell him she would hand in her notice first thing on Monday, she just wasn't sure how to inform him of her decision, without him thinking it was sort of an ultimatum. She didn't want to influence his decision, but she didn't want to leave him in the dark either. She owed him honesty, he had the right to know the truth before he made up his mind about accepting the position.

She had never felt as selfish before as that night and it wasn't the best feeling, but she had made her decision already, to go through with her dream after all. And even though she couldn't ask him to do so, she was now secretly hoping he would not let her go on that road alone.