Chapter Eight
She sat down on her side of their bed and a few seconds later she felt his hands on her shoulders, massaging them through the fabric of her dressing gown.
"You must be exhausted," he said compassionately as his firm hands moved from her shoulders down her upper arms and her back.
"It was a long week," she replied, stretching her back and she truly enjoyed the way his hands pampered her, but she didn't wait long to talk to him again, "Em asked me if we are going to divorce," she chose the topic that was safer to start with.
"What? Why would she think that?" he asked and his hands disappeared under her robe to caress her skin directly, which gave her shivers all over, but she knew she couldn't indulge in their intimacy just yet, so she tried to control herself the best she could.
"She might have heard other children talk about it in school and she's become quite observant lately, it's not so easy to hide things from her anymore, she's beginning to grow up."
"We're not hiding anything from her."
"I know, but she thinks we are, I don't like to see her worried, it's a little too early for that"
"Have you managed to convince her that she's wrong?"
"I tried, I hope I have," she couldn't be sure, but she wanted to be more cautious in the future to make her daughter forget about her unsettling thoughts.
"Good, because divorcing you is definitely not on my mind at all right now," he said slowly as he started to pull off her gown and placed one kiss after the other on her bare skin.
She already regretted that she hadn't stopped him right after he'd started, because his movements were getting more and more distracting and they still had a very important question to talk about that night.
"Will?"
"Huh?"
She hesitated just shortly, but still long enough that he managed to move his lips on her neck and she already felt the danger of losing control any second. She knew it would be wrong to hide her decision from him for a night, but there was also a huge temptation to banish every work related thought from her head for a short while. Tomorrow would be just as good to talk about their future.
"Em asked me to give you something," she made her decision and turned her head to the side to look at him.
"What?"
She moved closer to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"She told me to give you a kiss from her," she said as she pulled back.
"Are you sure she said one?" he asked playfully, still looking at her, his hands resting on her almost bare shoulders, which were only covered by the straps of her nightdress.
"I'm pretty sure, yes," she nodded, smiling.
"And I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to know you decided not to stop after one kiss, I mean I do deserve more, right?"
She looked into his laughing eyes and she obviously wasn't able to deny anything from him at that moment. She leaned forward to kiss him once more and she intended to only kiss his cheek again just to tease him, but he turned the very last minute and she ended up kissing his lips instead.
And once their lips touched his hands started to fondle her skin again and there was no way back anymore. Not that she wanted anything else at that moment but to be loved by him.
o-o-o
He was usually fast asleep when she woke up on a regular Saturday morning, but this time she found him staring at the ceiling when she opened her eyes.
"Hey," she said silently, turning to her side in his direction and he looked at her with a short smile.
"Good morning," he replied and leaned close to her for a kiss.
"You should be fast asleep," she noted, although she had an idea what might have caused his early awakening.
"I have too many things on my mind," he was staring at the ceiling again as he said these words, he was obviously deep in thoughts.
"I know, but you still have some time to make that decision."
He stayed silent for a short while, before turning back to her.
"You have no idea how much I'd love to just deny their offer and leave it all behind with you," his words made her smile and for a moment she wanted to just tell him to do it, even though she knew she couldn't, especially because he still hesitated, "But something holds me back," he added and she was perfectly aware of how difficult this situation was.
"I understand, it's not that simple."
"Opening a new firm is a risk," he echoed the words she'd said herself the other night and it felt like a role reversal to her already with her current feelings, "We have to think of the children, we can't just chase out dreams anymore, we have responsibilities."
He actually sounded more adult than ever and she should have appreciated that at least one of them approached the question from this aspect, but his thoughts contradicted the feelings she had a hard time hiding from him already.
"It's not about chasing dreams, it's about taking chances, accepting more responsibilities, creating something that will always belong to us and our children," she might have sounded too enthusiastic, but she really felt it was time they stepped on their own feet, took their luck in their own hands to make Emma and Nathan proud of them one day.
"You make it sound so reasonable," was all his remark and she felt like explaining her sudden change.
"I know I concentrated on the downside of it the other night, but that was only because I didn't want to influence you in any way and I still don't, I just…" she still hesitated, but she knew she had no other choice but to tell him about her decision however hard it was to say it out loud.
"You what?"
"I feel that I cannot stay where I am anymore, I've taken some steps forward already and I want to keep going on that road," she looked at him anxiously as he tried to comprehend the meaning of her statement.
"I see," he finally said after a long pause, "So I either jump with you or stay behind and have your back?"
He summed it up perfectly, it was actually this simple. If he joined her they might end up losing everything together, if he stayed behind he would become their safe harbor, but that would mean going on separate ways.
"I have to try this, it's the right time, I will never be more prepared than I am right now," she was determined, nothing he said could have changed her mind anymore.
"Looks like you've already made your decision," he made a right observation and she couldn't tell how he felt about it just yet.
"Are you okay with it? Even if you decide to stay behind?" she asked, fearing his reply a little, she needed his consent, after all it was their life she chose to put at stake for her own good.
"How could I not be okay with it? If anyone is able to do it, it's you," came the encouraging reply, accompanied with a smile and she could only have been happier if he had said he would go with her on that road no matter what, because she simply trusted her guts that something they'd planned for so long could only turn out good in the end.