Severus sat alone in the waiting room in Cheltenham and, well, waited. He had made the appointment the week before from a phone box outside of the Leaky Cauldron. It had been the day after his hard-earned new muscles failed to impress Hermione. Instead of hurrying home to him she had sent an owl that afternoon that she would be home later because she wanted to visit Ginevra. Severus had done some fast thinking and used the opportunity to sneak out before he lost his nerve. If Hermione had reacted in a more positive way in the days after he might have cancelled, but that hadn't happened. Instead she had gone from one extreme to the other, sometimes ignoring him and then snapping at him the next second. Obviously his plan was a victim of bad timing. She was so nervous about her driving test she couldn't relax. Exams had always had that effect on her, and that it was a practical exam and she couldn't control the drivers in the cars around her scared her. She didn't say so, but he knew her.

To keep it a secret he had scheduled his appointment for the time Hermione had her driving test. She didn't want him around anyway. Severus had joked that he would hex her driving instructor if she didn't pass, wouldn't that motivate her to pass to save him because that's what Gryffindors did?, but she didn't appreciate his stab at humour.

When he had come in the receptionist, a slip of a girl that looked like a strong gust of wind could sweep her away, had accepted his NHS card without batting an eye. There was no reason why she shouldn't have. It was legit after all. Back when he had turned spy and still harboured the illusion that he would someday lead a normal life, he had made preparations in case he had to hide among the Muggles. As far as the British state was concerned, Severus was running a small rather unsuccessful florist business from home but always paid his taxes.

Severus drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair. The walls were plastered with posters of men and woman with unnaturally bright smiles. The sight of the advertising pictures made Severus uncomfortable until he realised that he expected them to move. In the corner stood a glass cabinet displaying a variety of teeth that may have either once belonged to mediaeval torture victims or were the unfortunate result of a Splinching accident in a hardware store. In Severus's opinion no part of the human body should be fused with metal in any way.

The door opened and the receptionist's head appeared in the doorway. "Mr Snape? Please come with me."

Severus followed her into a dentist's room with pastel-coloured walls. There were several photographs hanging on one side of the room that were clearly taken by an amateur judging by the composition of the image, showing a beach scenery and a desert landscape respectively. Severus believed to make out a very young Hermione in one of them.

"Please have a seat and Mr Granger will be with you momentarily."

The receptionist left his chart on a cabinet by the door and left him alone with the chair monstrosity in the middle of the room. He gingerly slipped behind the tablet attached to it and sat down. Doing so he gave up the psychological advantage his height granted him, but he figured that appearing harmless would benefit him more in this situation. On the tablet lay a collection of pointy sharp instruments. Severus frowned. Not one of them looked like a more professional version of a tooth brush, even though there was a small sink next to the chair.

The door opened and a short older man rushed in. "Sorry you had to wait. My wife is off at a conference and we hold the fort here."

Hermione's father was in his early sixties, had a shock of curly grey hair and laugh lines in his friendly open face. He took the chart the receptionist had left and opened it. "You're here for a scale and polish, Mr... Snape?" His head snapped up and he eyed him suspiciously. "Are you Hermione's Severus Snape?"

"Yes, indeed. Pleased to finally make your acquaintance."

From the look of his face, Mr Granger seemed to think otherwise but was too well-bred to voice his reservations out loud. "So you're not here for a cleaning?" he asked with a frown and sat down on the little stool next to the dentist chair.

"I am. There are potions for that," he hastened to explain when Mr Granger opened his mouth to interrupt him, "but they are too efficient, leaving the teeth looking as bright as on the posters in your waiting room."

"I'd say my patients would prefer such a... potion... if they had access to it."

"The average wizard does, too. I, on the other hand, don't want to draw too much attention to my teeth."

Mr Granger's gaze dropped to Severus's mouth. "I understand." Then his professionalism seemed to kick in. "Well, let's take a look then." He tapped his foot and Severus jumped when the chair under him began to move and buzz. Down went the backrest and with it Severus until he thought he would slip onto the floor. It stopped just as he grabbed for the armrest.

"Open up, please." There was a metallic scraping sound from the instruments before him, but Severus couldn't see what happened because he was blinded by the lamp hanging over his head. In that moment Severus began to question his judgement in earnest, but it was too late to leave. He resigned himself to his fate and opened his mouth. Above him Mr Granger made a sound of surprise and moved the lamp further down, but the new view on the clinical white ceiling panels was no real improvement.

"Astonishing. Your magic potions would be the end of our practice." The cold metal shaft of the tool in Mr Grangers's hand first pressed against Severus's upper lip, then into the corner of his mouth while the dentist assessed the situation before he got down to work. "How strange to meet you like that. Hermione hasn't been around much the last years, but you know that of course. It's difficult, with her being a witch."

"Ngannk."

"Of course, of course, you're right. Aren't you half Muggle? I think I remember Hermione telling us. But one day she's playing in the sandpit and the next she's pointing her stick at us and ships us off to Australia!" Gordon emphasised his point by wielding the dental mirror in his hand like a wand.

"She apologised, of course, but I doubt that she fully understands how scary you magical folk can be to us lowly Muggles. How are we supposed to defend ourselves against magic? It's impossible."

As Gordon scraped along his sensitive gums with a very sharp, very pointy and quite scary dental probe Severus reminded himself that he was no coward, never had been, and wouldn't develop dental fear this late in his life.

"When she was home from that school of yours during the holidays we had our little girl back, at least for the first years. We'd go skiing or visit France, have family dinners. Stuff we did before, like going out together. Minnie just loves the cinema, I think she inherited it from us, and from what she told us she missed it because the magical world doesn't know anything like it."

Severus firmly clasped his hands in his lap. Hermione would never forgive him if he hexed her father.

"Doris and I watched a film on our first date. You've heard of Laurence Olivier? No? Bloody good actor, yes he was. Played a dentist in the movie. Sure you haven't heard of it? Ah well."

"Ngaaah."

"Don't talk, please, Severus. May I call you Severus? Yes? Call me Gordon. You know, now that I think of it, we're lucky that Hermione found you. Careful, don't move around so much. Alright, we weren't happy that you're, well, no need to beat around the bush, that you were her teacher. I mean, would you be happy? That could hurt a little, here. There. Where was I? Ah yes, she wouldn't be happy with a Muggle, we can see that now. Magic is part of her, but we're part of her too, you know? I mean, Ronald was a nice bloke, but can you see him in a cinema or picture him sitting down in this chair?"

Severus couldn't, but then a sand storm blew around his teeth and rasped his gums raw and from that position Weasley's lack of originality seemed almost admirable. Gordon was on a roll, scratching, sandblasting and talking without interruption. Severus hadn't decided yet if Hermione's father genuinely liked him or was a serious aspirant for Voldemort's succession.

After what felt like an eternity Gordon allowed him to close his mouth again. "That's it, we're finished."

He tapped his foot and the blood flowed back from Severus's head to his extremities when the chair slid back into its starting position. "It was nice talking about the whole situation. Getting it off my chest so to speak, it's not like we have someone who understands. You can rinse your mouth with water if you want. Why don't you and Minnie come 'round for dinner some time? Doris will be thrilled to meet you. Ha, boy will she be miffed when I tell her she missed you!"

Severus fidgeted in his favourite armchair, the only piece of furniture in the living room apart from the book shelves that hadn't come from Hermione's old flat and therefore, even though it was old, threadbare and worn out from use, his sitting accommodation of choice when he was in need of comfort. He had heard the expression squeaky-clean before, of course, but never imagined it could be used to describe the inside of his mouth. If he wasn't careful his tongue might slip on a tooth, fall down the stairs and break its neck. He vaguely remembered shaking Gordon's hand and leaving the surgery on wobbly knees.

There was a loud crack from the kitchen and a few seconds later Hermione stormed in. "I did it! Piece of cake, ha!" She performed a little victory dance involving jumping around and waving with her arms that was remotely reminiscent of the rain dance of the Native American witches and wizards he had read about.

"Congratu- oomph." Before he could stand up she flopped down on his lap and kissed him. It was just starting to get interesting when she suddenly pulled back and stared at his mouth.

"What's with your teeth?"

"I had a scale and polish. Your father sends his love."

She blinked several times. "My father? What... you and... oh dear."

Severus began to suspect that contacting her parents might have been a serious lapse in judgement on his part, even when it had seemed the perfect solution - impress Hermione; ensure the Grangers' grandparental support for his hypothetical child since he didn't have any living relatives left and even if he did he wouldn't let them near a child of his because neither the Snapes nor the Princes had been known for their nurturing skills; improve his appearance - when Hermione threw her arms around his neck and tried to squeeze the life out of him.

"You... you!" She laughed, giggled in his ear, then laughed some more like a hyena.

Severus gently loosened her arms from his windpipe until he could breathe freely again and waited for her to calm down a bit. "We should go out and celebrate."

Hermione put her head on his shoulder and sighed with pleasure. "You mean because I have finally my driving licence that gets the Ministry off my back and my life can go back to normal, and my boyfriend tells me he met my father and both lived to tell the tale?"

She leaned back again, one hand still slung around his neck, and wiped tears of laughter from her eyes with her free hand. "Good idea."

Severus sneered at being called anybody's boyfriend like he was a teenager.

"It's a good thing you didn't go for a brace, too, or it would've ruined a perfectly good sneer."

That reminded him of what he had learned from Gordon. "Let us go to the cinema, Minnie."

Her eyes widened comically, but she pulled herself together again and smirked. "Splendid idea, Sevvie."

"Touché, madam."

"We can catch the late show. But first," Hermione wiggled on his lap, "we should have a celebration in private. I'm sorry that I've been so beastly lately. Now, let me show you just how much I appreciate my beefy brainy boyfriend."

Before Severus could sneer again she had grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. They didn't make it to the cinema that night, but for once Severus didn't worry about a change of plan because phase two was finally paying off. Indeed, he would call it a raving success.

They rescheduled their cinema visit for a day later. Before they could enjoy their evening out, however, Severus had to endure his second meet-the-parents experience in as many days; this time without any sharp pointy dental instruments, though. Hermione wanted to tell her parents about her driving licence in person and borrow their car. Severus's welcome was warm. Doris Granger, a small wiry woman with a short pixie haircut that emphasised the brown eyes that Hermione had inherited, seemed happy to meet him.

"Finally we get to know the mystery man," she said when she shook his hand and then threw a pointed glance at Hermione who acted as if she didn't notice it. "Does that mean now we can come visit and actually see how you live in London?"

Interesting. He gave Hermione an inquiring raised eyebrow, but she only shrugged without embarrassment. Their house was indeed Unplottable, that and the proximity to Diagon Alley had actually been the deciding factors for Severus to buy it even though the place could use a redecoration, but even if the Grangers couldn't have found it on their own just by the address Hermione could have picked them up and Apparated them over anytime. From the other equally subtle remarks her mother made it was clear Hermione had nipped any of their attempts to meet him in the bud right from the start.

"Sorry 'bout that," she whispered into his ear when she led him out to a set table on the porch while her parents were in the kitchen to fetch the tea, "but I knew you weren't keen to meet them, and the few times Ron came with me it was a disaster. I wanted to give everybody enough time to get used to the idea of us together and organise a meeting when the time is right, probably just after hell froze over."

"It's moments like these that prove without a doubt that you are the perfect woman for me."

"Try to hang on to that feeling when Mum dishes out her sugar free scones."

She hadn't exaggerated. After his first bite the conversation that ensued during tea went without his contribution because he was too busy surreptitiously washing away the tasteless but persistent remnants of the aforementioned pastry from his mouth. He reached for the jam but Hermione intercepted his hand and squeezed it. When their parents were looking at each other for a moment she shook her head ever so slightly and let go of his hand. Severus reached for the butter instead. Fat wasn't bad for your teeth, or was it? If it was then the Grangers had found a substitute for butter that tasted just like the original.

"What I don't understand, why did you have to get your driving licence?" Gordon asked Hermione when he filled her cup again, but it was Doris who answered him.

"It probably has to do with her job as the hospital's Muggle liaison, isn't that right, sweetie?"

Hermione, bless her, explained the issue without using the words paper-shuffler, politics or nepotism once.

"The Ministry has passed new regulations to ensure that a Muggle liaison can work with and get on with Muggles. You know how they are, I think they're worrying more about us embarrassing the Ministry than finding someone who is genuinely interested in an exchange of knowledge on both sides."

"They should have told you about their plans to change the regulations before they offered you the job," Doris chimed in.

"Yes, that would have only been fair," Gordon added.

"Anyway, since I don't have an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies or regular Muggle A-levels - I think they included that option for the Muggleborns who left Hogwarts during the war - I had the choice to either have a test at the Ministry more or less like the Muggle Studies exam at Hogwarts or get a Muggle driving licence. They even awarded a small grant." Hermione smiled, although she knew the politics involved in the change as well as Severus did; Severus had asked Draco about it and he had delivered.

The truth was, while the old pure-blood families had at first dismissed the new Muggle cooperation decree after Voldemort's fall as solely driven by the need to be seen to be doing something and not worth their time or effort, they now recognised the potential to gain influence and wanted a share of the cake. It had taken years to establish the necessary infrastructure without violating the Statute of Secrecy. As a result most of the Wizarding liaisons in the Muggle world were recruited either from the families of Muggle-born wizards and witches or were Squibs leading Muggle lives. The Muggle liaisons, who all had Muggle roots with the exception of one or two pure-blood Muggle enthusiasts in the fashion of Arthur Weasley, were paid only an expense allowance to meet with their counterparts once or twice a year and keep up to date with new Muggle developments in their fields.

All in all not very interesting, if there hadn't been a few precedents where unimportant inner proceedings in a Ministry department had changed with the reasoning that the Muggles did it that way. The potential to have one's way if only one could find a matching Muggle procedure was apparently tempting enough to pass new regulations in an attempt to present the pure-blooded candidates as at least as qualified as the incumbents.

Their argument had been that the head of the Goblin Liaison Office didn't have to be part goblin themselves, ha ha, no really, now change that regulation there's a good chap. None of them cared about the position of St. Mungo's liaison, which was of no use on the battleground of Ministry politics, but Hermione had been unlucky enough to be officially appointed one day after the regulations had come into effect. Hermione, of course, had seen it as a chance to expand her knowledge. Severus was sure that if she hadn't been so busy with her research she would have taken the Ministry test, too; he had half expected her to look into the possibility to sit A-levels.

While Severus was wool-gathering the topic of discussion had changed to the differences of the health systems in general and dentistry in particular, which led to an awkward moment where Doris wanted to check on her husband's handiwork and tried to look into Severus's mouth. Thankfully Hermione rescued him and declared they had to go or they would be late.

They climbed into the car and drove off with the Grangers standing on the pavement waving until they were out of sight.

Deep down Severus had dreaded that moment, but now that she had her licence Hermione was a competent and safe driver. Severus relaxed and listened with interest as Hermione told him stories about her home town while they passed that much green that it seemed to him that he had landed in a town within a park. It didn't surprise him in the least that the Grangers had opened their own dental practice in a town with the motto 'Health and Education', or that Hermione had visited countless literature and music festivals in her youth.

It all felt utterly foreign to him. Once upon a time that might have made him uncomfortable, but that night he went with the flow, determined to have fun. The whole evening felt surreal, like a dream. They found a parking space in a side road. Severus hadn't expected the theatre to be a modern building with a big glass front. There was no candelabra hanging from the ceiling, no gaslights on the walls. He had never been to the cinema before; he remembered that Lily had liked it as a child and wanted him to come with her and Petunia, but he didn't have the money and didn't allow her to pay for him because he detested anything that resembled charity.

When he and Hermione walked in nobody stared at them. The people waiting in line with them had never heard of Severus Snape, of Hogwarts or of Death Eaters, and nobody batted an eyelash when Hermione took his hand. That night they were just a normal couple and not the nasty teacher shacking up with his pupil or the Death Eater turncoat banging Harry Potter's best friend. Not even the age gap was causing raised eyebrows since Severus looked younger than his Muggle peers thanks to the longer life expectancy of wizards. All in all it was an oddly liberating experience, much like Severus expected a holiday at an exotic location to feel like. There were posters everywhere advertising films with actors Severus had never heard of, but Hermione was really in her element.

"What do you want to see?" She gave him a brief synopsis what each film was about but Severus found it only confusing so he left the choice to her.

"If I drag you into a romantic comedy I'll never hear the end of it. Let's see... I know. Do you like Star Trek?"

"You mean that's still around?" He'd heard of it, but the Snapes had not owned a television set.

She smirked. "Wait and see. Let's get some popcorn!"

When they had settled down in their seats with beverages, a box of popcorn and a considerably lighter wallet he dared to kiss Hermione and put his arms around her shoulders even though they were surrounded by strangers. The theatre went dark and the film began. The moving pictures, completely Muggle and yet not unlike the moving portraits in the wizarding world, had a magic on their own and Apparated them into a strange new world. No wonder Hermione loved it. When Severus looked down in her face illuminated by the screen she beamed up at him and put her head on his shoulder.

Severus vowed to take her out to the Muggle world more often in the future. He could make it part of phase three.