This is the second chapter to 'Its Your Choice.' I decided on what was going to happen and thought i would write and upload it before i changed my mind, i now know where this story is heading too. Thanks for the reviews! It means a lot!

I awoke to a sleeping Steven, his head tucked into the crook of my neck, the crow's-feet around his eye's nothing but a memory as his eyes were closed against the dim light of dawn creeping through the slight open curtains. His breathing steady and relaxed his body oblivious to the real world as his dreams possessed him. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to wake up to such a beautiful person even after everything we had been through.

My stomach growled at me, I looked over at the time to see it was four in the morning, then I remembered I hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch, I had come home planning on ordering a take-away for myself and Steven but I got a little distracted and ended up sleeping through to the next day. The growls got fiercer and I decided I couldn't ignore them anymore i slowly pulled myself away from Steven hoping I wouldn't wake him, he had the day off today so I didn't want to disturb him after all this is his first lay in for a while. I tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen; I flipped the switch on the kettle and decided I would go for the nice and simple cheese on toast. I reached over to the bread bin and pulled out the bread, but there was something caught to it, an envelope that read Ste it had already been opened and looked like it had been shoved in here to keep out of sight. My fingers hovered over the opening, it wasn't mine to open but why was it hidden in the bread bin? In the end my curiosity got the better of me and I pulled out the letter, my eyes darted across the page as I read the letter.
I knew what I had to do, I couldn't let Steven choose between his kids and me, not just for his sake but for mine, I knew he would choose his kids, who wouldn't? The question was how was I going to do this?

My mind was fuzzy, the last details being chased away as I realised I was awake. It was a nice dream, me, Bren and the kids was having a picnic in an empty field, it was just us no one there to destroy the ever-growing happiness, but the details was fading fast as I thought about it. I sighed and cautiously opened one eye, the sunlight was shining through the curtains and straight onto my sleepy face, I pulled the covers over my head moaning trying remembering any part of the dream that had now left my mind completely. It was too late my brain was already awake and worrying about the letter Amy had left. That's when I realised that I was in bed alone, I pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed, I walked into the kitchen, it was just the same as I left it, I looked into the front room and Brendan was dozing on the sofa fully dressed with a bag packed next to him, what was he doing? I prodded him in the stomach and he shifted and slowly opened his eyes, he looked me up and down registering my presence.

"What is this?" I say gesturing to his bag.

"Oh, um, Eileen called she said that the boys had a week off and I could come visit, see if I can patch things up think she's starting to feel a bit guilty after Christmas and stuff ye know?"

"Oh yeah right." I tried not to show the sadness and disappointment on my face as I realised he would be leaving me for a week after everything.

"I was going go but it thought I would wait for you to wake up, ye know so I can say goodbye."

I stared into his eyes trying to work out what he was thinking but he had all his emotions hidden.

"Yeah ok, so when will you be back?"

"I'm not sure."

"Ok."

Brendan stood from his seat and looked into my eyes, as I stared back I got lost in his deep pools of blue, but there was something hidden in them, sadness maybe? He wouldn't look away from me and I refused to be the one to break eye contact, I don't think I would be able to even if I wanted to his, his expression was so intense, almost threatening and then before I had a chance to think about what to do he pulled me in by wrapping his hand around my neck and covered my lips with his own, his lips was soft yet rough, he was perfect, his tongue battled with mine winning dominance as I opened my mouth and allowed him to enter, his mouth was warm, I moaned a little into his mouth to which he replied with a low growl, just as things were about to kick up a notch he pulled away resting his forehead on mine, both our breaths shallow and heavy as we tried to catch our breath.

"I love you Steven."

"I love you too."

"I best be off."

My mind cleared, the little bubble we was in popped as I remembered his little trip to Ireland, I shouldn't moan about it really it was a chance for him to patch things up with his kids but I couldn't help but feel jealous that he would see them whilst I had to live without mine.
Brendan leant forward and pecked me on the lips.

"Goodbye Steven."

"See ya."

I stood by and watched as he bent down and picked up his bag before sauntering towards the door. He opened it wide and turned back round to look at me, he did a small nod before turning round and walking away.
I decided it would be no use moping around about the fact that he was gone for the week so I walked over to bread bin and pulled out the two slices, I noticed Amy's letter, I hesitated before reaching out and picking it up, but it was no longer labelled Ste someone had altered it to say Steven.

My heart rate picked up, it was pounding so hard I thought it was going to break through my ribcage, I tried to control my shaking hands as I turned the envelope around. I frantically ribbed the letter from the wrapping and opened it up, my eyes darted across the page not taking in a single word. I looked away from it and took two deep breaths to calm myself before I read,

Dear Steven,

Walking away from you is going to be the hardest thing I am ever going to have to do, but I am doing it for the right reasons. I found the letter from Amy and I couldn't help but read it. I know that you will always choose your kids over me and I completely understand that, but I didn't want you to be the one to make the decision, that isn't fair on you so I walked away, that was there is no choice. I am not walking away because I don't love you; in fact it's the complete opposite.
I want you to to know that I love you unconditionally, I think that I may have felt something for you when we first kissed in my flat, don't know If you worked it out but I had sort of hoped that would happen. You have changed me, you have made me a better person, you made me than man I am today, and you are the one who made me strong enough to walk away. You kept coming back to me after everything I had done, you came back to me even after I declared my love to you and then chucked it back in your face, you have even stood by me these recent days, you didn't chuck me out the minute you read that letter you stayed with me and for that I will always love you. You have changed my life and I don't think I will ever be able to go back to what I was because you helped me see that love is possible. I know no matter how many times I say sorry you will never fully forgive me for the times I hurt you, if I could I would turn back time and change everything but I can't, trust me I am so sorry
I want you to go get your kids back and be happy. I want you to open a business in London become some famous chef like Jamie Oliver or as you would prefer Nigella. I want you to be able to look at our relationship and smile and not be sad. I know you love me Steven if you didn't you wouldn't have put up with me, but you will always love your kids more.
Maybe you will get to London and meet someone new someone with a clean past and is perfect, someone who can take care of you the ways I couldn't someone who can give you can feel safe and secure with.
I hope you will never forget me completely, I will never forget you as you have the key to my heart. Tell the kids I am sorry for leaving them yeah? Tell them Daddy Brendan loves them lots and that I won't forget them either? You are the most luckiest person I have met you have two amazing kids and a best friend who would put her life on the line just for you, try not to ruin that, I know what your like;).
I know it will make this harder if we stay in contact so this is the last you will hear of me. I love you forever and always Steven Hay and don't ever forget that! Maybe in our next life we can meet again, start afresh?

I love you.

B x

I felt my knees buck from underneath me, I fell to the ground shaking uncontrollably, my breathing sped up and was coming out short shallow breaths I tried to control it but it seemed impossible, tears streamed down my face harder than the British showers. It felt as if I was having a heart attack the more I tried to pull myself together the worse I felt in the end I gave up and sat for what felt like hours grieving for the man I loved.

What did you think? Reviews? x