So this is a short chapter but the next one needs to be its own chapter. Sorry about such a late update, i had a bet with my mum i could go a week without internet and i won, so that is one of the reasons! Thanks for any reviews they really mean a lot!

I stayed there on the kitchen floor for a couple more minutes before taking in a deep breath and slowly pushed myself from the floor, my limbs felt heavy. I was still only dressed in my boxers and I could feel the chill of the empty house. I walked into my room and pulled on a pair of tracksuit bottoms I then dragged myself to the drawers that once was the home to both mine and Brendan's tops and pulled it open, as I did I felt a fresh load of tears form but I held them back, I knew his stuff would be gone the same as him but seeing the left side of the drawer empty was confirming it made and it worse, I noticed there was a red shirt on his side still, I picked it up and unfolded it, it was that top, the one he was wearing when we first kissed, properly. I pulled it into my face and breathed in his scent that still lingered on it, I felt the tears escape and I fell to the bedroom floor sobbing once again.

Since moving into this council flat all them years ago with Amy I always said I hated it, and now as I looked around it for the final time I found myself thinking I am going of am the memories that had occurred under this roof, this is the place I became a better person, this is the place Leah and Lucas grew up, this is the place I first slept with Brendan, this was my home, in a way I was going to miss it cause even though I complained about it I still loved it. I bent down and picked up my bags and walked over to the door, I looked over the house again before pulling open the door and exiting for the last time.
The taxi was there and waiting for me so I got in and directed him to Manchester. I leant back in my seat and looked out of the window as left Hollyoaks, as I left my home, my friends.

I lied to Steven, told him I was going to see my kids well technically that wasn't I lie I would try and see them but not just yet, right now all I want to do is drink so much that I can't remember anything, block out all the memories that ever contained Steven good or bad, I didn't want to think about him because when I did it made my heart ache the way it never has before. So after arriving in Dublin I stopped of a some bar and bought a bottle of Irish Whisky and the drove to a hotel, well the hotel the one that me and Steven stayed in after 'reuniting' on the bridge, the one that me and Steven christened, it wasn't exactly a good idea but I couldn't stop myself.

I dropped my bags on the floor, pulled of my coat and chucked it on the bed then walked straight over to the radio and switched it on, I couldn't sit in silence I would think too much. I over to the little cupboard that help two cups and reached for one, I poured myself a generous amount of Whisky before setting it down on the bedside unit, I propped up the pillows and leant against them sipping at the drink.
About half a bottle had gone when my ears pricked up, a song came on one that I recognised.

I kissed a girl and I liked it the taste of her cherry chap stick,
I kissed a girl just to try it I hope her boyfriend don't mind it…

The memories hit me like a truck,

Leah and Lucas was decorating the cake we had just made, and somehow she managed to talk me into singing it, repeatedly. Then after what was like the twentieth time she asked me to sing it again, and how can you say no to such a beautiful little girl? So I sang it again, Leah joining in of course, and the Steven walked it asked if I was singing "Katy Perreh" in his accent it just rolled of his tongue. Then after having dinner I read the 'The Three Little Pigs' to them and after taking them to bed me and Steven-

I stopped there, I couldn't allow myself to think of what myself and Steven got up to that night It would break me. I didn't think it was ever possible for me to love someone but words can't describe how much Steven means to me.
I reached for my wallet and pulled out the picture of Steven and the kids, I took it before leaving because I couldn't go with nothing, so I sat and stared at the picture taking in every inch until I passed out on the bed. Steven still possessing my mind.

Sorry a bit of a short chapter, i am going to write the next one now so it should be up tomorrow. Thanks so much for the reviews!