Chapter Five: Signs of Life

The next three days passed in a haze of emotion, the hours racing past while others dragged on endlessly. Elena was frightened and alone, continuing her vigil at Tseng's bedside as the rest of the Planet went on without her. She gazed moodily out the window, having just spoken to Reno via PHS. He was glad to hear that Tseng's condition remained stable, but there was a tension in his voice she was not used to hearing. She knew it had something to do with the reason Tseng had gone ahead to the Temple of the Ancients, but to her frustration she was left in the dark. Reno gave nothing away, and Tseng remained in a deep sleep. It only made her longing to look into his eyes and hear his voice again more painful. After almost a year of relying on him so heavily, Elena was lost.

Dr. Welsh had started to sound more optimistic about his opinion that Tseng would survive his wounds as each day passed, wearing a wide smile and shaking his head in amazement during his last visit the previous evening. He still could not figure out how Tseng managed to survive so long before he was found and evacuated, but was clearly pleased nonetheless. Nurses came and went at all hours, mostly the familiar Becky but also a number of others when she was off duty, caring for him with skilled efficiency as he remained in a deep sleep. Elena envied them, since they could actually do something for him while his body fought to heal the damage. All she could do was remain at his bedside, sometimes working up the nerve to take his hand, praying with all her heart that he would be all right.

Elena sighed and turned away from the window, making her way back to the chair that often felt more like a prison. She sat down and gazed at Tseng's face, overcome with her feelings for him once again. He looked so peaceful, yet so frail and helpless… It felt almost invasive to watch him sleep, able to see past his professional image to the human vulnerability he masterfully hid from the world. He still had not moved or shown any signs of awakening, though when his pain level began to increase he would frown, his features tightening until she summoned a nurse to increase his medication. It was the least she could do for him… other than remaining by his side and hoping he somehow knew he was not alone.

She'd left the room for only brief moments since the day they'd arrived, to take a quick shower and change clothes, or to reluctantly force herself to eat something in the cafeteria. Nurse Becky had finally tired of watching her trying to sleep in the uncomfortable chair at his bedside, quietly wheeling in a cot and tucking it into the far corner of the room with a wink. Elena slept in brief, fitful intervals, kept awake by the sounds of the hospital and her irrational fear that Tseng might fade away the moment she closed her eyes. She was exhausted, living in a fog of worry and despair, but she never once considered leaving. She was his partner, and she belonged at his side.

You've got to keep fighting… We all need you. And… I need you…

She began to awkwardly reach for his hand, but quickly yanked it back when Nurse Becky and Dr. Welsh appeared in the doorway. She blushed, climbing to her feet and trying to hold herself tall. She was still a Turk on assignment, after all, in uniform and representing Tseng's loyal department members. She was going to do her job the best she could, hoping she would have made him proud.

"Good morning," the doctor said cheerfully, his thick gray hair standing up in spots as if he'd just removed a hairnet. He smiled, approaching Tseng's bedside and picking up his chart. Becky went about her usual routine of checking the monitors and intravenous medications, fondly patting Elena on the shoulder as she passed by. The kindly nurse had been taking care of her as well as her actual patient, looking after her and reminding her of her own needs when she was too distracted to care.

"Good morning, doctor," Elena replied, her voice hoarse from stress and lack of sleep.

"Well, your boss has really exceeded all of my expectations so far," he said, shaking his head at the encouraging data on the chart. "I think it might be time to reduce his sedation and see if he wakes up for us. I don't like to keep people down for longer than needed, so I'd like to see how he does. We'll keep his pain medication high, and I'm going to give him something for anxiety to help keep him calm, but he ought to come to within the next few hours. It may not be completely or for very long, but we'll see."

Becky was removing a nearly empty bag of fluid from the IV stand and replacing it was a new one, expertly attaching it to the main line than ran into Tseng's left arm and humming to herself as she worked. Elena nodded nervously, swallowing hard as she looked down at Tseng. As much as she wanted him to awaken, she also didn't want him to suffer. She felt a surge of protectiveness toward him, wishing she could take him away from this place and all of the pain he had to endure.

"Keep in mind that when he wakes up, he's likely to be confused and not entirely aware of what's going on," Dr. Welsh continued, signing off on the chart and replacing it at the foot of the bed. "He'll probably only be awake for short periods of time, since he's quite weak and on a lot of medication, but that's good because he needs to rest. If you could stay with him as much as possible today until we see what happens, that would be wonderful."

"Of course I will," Elena said firmly, her stomach alive with butterflies.

"Doctor, this poor girl has barely left to use the bathroom," Becky said with a chuckle, gathering her things and starting to leave the room. "Make sure you ring for me if he seems like he's waking up, honey."

The nurse left to continue on her rounds, and Dr. Welsh gently adjusted the blankets covering his patient. Elena could tell he cared about Tseng as more than just a paycheck or another statistic, something that was painfully rare in his profession. She realized how lucky they were that he was the base's head doctor and had opted to personally manage Tseng's care, and she would have easily trusted him with her own life as well.

"All right, then," he said, reaching out to shake her hand. He gripped it tightly for a moment before letting go, meeting her eyes with a supportive smile. "And try not to worry so much, or you're going to end up sick in bed yourself."

She managed a weak smile of gratitude as he left the room, taking a deep breath and returning to her chair. After staring down at Tseng for long moments, she reached out with a trembling hand and took a hold of his. It was warmer now, and his long fingers and smooth skin had become familiar and comforting. Once he was awake, would she ever know the feeling of his hand in hers again? She was filled with a pang of grief when she realized the answer was no, but quickly scolded herself for the lapse of discipline. What really mattered was that he remained strong and continued to heal.

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Elena stood staring out the room's single window once again, rain pouring down from a blanket of thick dark clouds. As she followed the beads of water racing down the glass, she felt as sad and hopeless as the weather outside. She shivered, her eyes drawn to a bolt of lightning as it lit up the blackened sky. She struggled hard to hold back her tears, watching as the Planet cried for her.

Almost five hours had passed since Dr. Welsh reduced Tseng's sedation, but he still had not awakened. Every so often, there was a whisper of an expression on his face, and sometimes his fingers would twitch, but his eyes remained firmly closed. The staff assured her it was normal, and that the heavy sedation took time to wear off, but still she worried. She was nervous and growing impatient, convinced something was wrong no matter what she was told. What if his injuries had simply been too severe, and he never woke up again? What if he was damned to lie helpless for the rest of his life, the man he once was gone forever?

Another brief conversation with Reno had only served to distract her for a moment. He still would not tell her where he and Rude were, but his tone was strained and he spoke as if in a hurry. She knew something important was happening, and that Reno was under a lot of stress in his sudden role as their leader. She wished he trusted her enough to let her know what was going on, but was too concerned about her own assignment to push the issue. She was glad to be able to tell him that Tseng was making progress, something that seemed to bring him temporary relief. Elena was surprised to find that she actually missed him, even though he was often so impatient with her. He and Rude had become almost like older brothers, whether they wanted to be or not.

She placed a hand against the glass as the distant rumble of thunder reached her ears, wishing they were all back in the office in Midgar. She would write a boring report or two, Reno would make fun of her and pelt her with paper clips, Rude would bring them all coffee and forward stupid jokes from the internet… Tseng would be in his office, keeping a close watch on his Turks. Rufus might decide to send him out on an assignment, and he'd call to order her to come along, making her feel special and wanted even if it was only to continue her training. Elena hadn't fully realized just how much she enjoyed her career and new life until suddenly, everything was gone.

As her eyes filled with tears, a quiet sound behind her startled her from her thoughts. She quickly blinked them away before turning around, expecting to find one of the nurses on their rounds. She was surprised when she found that the room was empty, frowning as she looked about. She must have been imagining it, the sounds of the storm outside playing tricks on her senses. When her eyes passed over Tseng, however, she gasped aloud.

He was lying completely still, but his eyes were open half way. She raised a shaking hand to cover her mouth, watching as he frowned and closed them again. Elena stood frozen in place a moment longer, then finally forced herself to cross the room. She cautiously approached his bed, standing next to it and gazing down at him in shock.

"Sir…? Are you awake?"

There was no response at first, until she heard him moan quietly. His eyes partially opened again, unfocused and staring at the ceiling. But after a moment, they slowly shifted in her direction and he looked directly at her. His eyelids were heavy and he seemed to struggle to keep them open, but the look of recognition on his face was unmistakable. She reached out and took his hand without thinking, quickly pushing the button to summon his nurse with her free one.

"Hey…" she said softly, looking down at him and fighting tears. "It's okay, I'm here."

He took a deep, shaky breath, pain crossing his features as another quiet moan escaped him. She squeezed his hand as a single tear trailed down her cheek, overcome by sorrow and relief all at once. Elena was alarmed by the congestion she could hear when he breathed more deeply, and how much pain each rise and fall of his chest seemed to cause him. It was obvious that he was suffering, but looking into his tired dark eyes warmed her soul.

Nurse Becky appeared in the doorway, her eyes widening when she realized that her patient was finally awake. She approached his bedside and smiled down at him when his eyes moved in her direction. Elena felt his fingers curl around her hand, his hold weak but almost desperate. If she had a choice she never would have let it go.

"Well, hello there," Becky said, quickly giving him another dose of pain medication when she saw how uncomfortable he was. "Can you tell me your name?"

He closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep again, but after a moment Elena just barely heard him whisper his full name. She smiled, new tears trailing down her cheeks. She'd been terrified that his memory would be affected, however irrational.

"And who's the pretty girl holding your hand?" Becky asked him as she checked his vital signs. Elena blushed fiercely, wishing she could sink into the floor. She considered taking back her hand, but he obviously did not want to release it. Tseng's eyes drifted her way again, and she thought she saw the slightest hint of a smile.

"Elena…" he said, his voice soft but clear. She felt herself grow weak in the knees and quickly averted her eyes, terrified that he could see exactly how the sound of her name crossing his lips made her feel.

"Great! Do you know where you are, Tseng?"

He frowned, looking puzzled for a moment. His eyelids fluttered as he fought to remain conscious, but he finally managed to mumbled a reply. "… hospital."

"That's right. You've been badly injured, but you're going to be okay. Do you remember what happened to you?"

There was no response as his eyes closed once again, and his grip on Elena's hand slowly relaxed. She was certain he really had fallen back to sleep this time, sighing softly and wiping her tears away with her free hand. But a moment later his mouth moved and he quietly mumbled a single word. He'd spoken in his first language, however, and neither woman understood him. Elena wished she'd bothered to learn a little, though she'd had little reason to before. She'd never even heard Tseng speak it before his injury, aside from a few exclamations he'd muttered under his breath during tense situations.

"I'm sorry… I don't know any Wutaiian," Becky said calmly, and Elena was grateful for her presence. She was far too emotional to think rationally, let alone speak so soothingly.

Tseng's eyes slid open, and he looked up at Elena with what she almost thought were tears shining in them. She stood frozen, and when he spoke again her heart was instantly in her throat. "… failed. I failed…"

"No!" she exclaimed, unable to help but cry harder when she saw the shame written all over his pale face. "Gods, no… You've been so strong, so brave. I don't care about the stupid assignment, I just want you to get better!"

Tseng moaned quietly, and this time when his eyes closed they did not open again. Elena looked across the bed in a panic, slightly relieved when Becky smiled comfortingly. Even she looked a bit tearful, but she quickly hid it. "That's all right," she said reassuringly, picking up his chart and making note of the time and event. "That was wonderful. He's aware of who he is and where he is, he can recognize someone he knows, and he didn't panic like a lot of seriously injured patients do when they first wake up. I think he's going to be just fine. It'll be slow going, but it's all up hill from here. And I think you're going to be a big part of that, honey."

Elena was too upset to find her voice, sinking into the chair as the nurse left the room. The tears continued to fall as she gazed at Tseng's face, glad that he appeared to be resting comfortably again. It broke her heart that he saw himself as a failure because he'd been injured and unable to stop his attacker. Even when he was fighting for his life, he was still thinking of his responsibilities. He amazed her, and she longed to tell him how much she admired his courage. At that moment, she almost didn't care if it would cost her her job… She desperately wanted him to know that someone cared about him… loved him… and wanted to be there for him as far more than an employee or partner. Even if he didn't return her feelings, the desire to tell him was only growing stronger. Her heart fluttered as she watched him sleep, wondering if she would ever find the nerve. If she continued to hold back and never got the chance, she knew she'd go mad. But for now, she silently continued her vigil and vowed to be there at his side for as long as it took. She was not going to fail him.

((Author's Notes: I wrote this entire chapter all at once, and it just flowed. Didn't even need much editing done, either. Poor Tseng thinks he's a failure… He's not used to being unable to complete an assignment, I guess. Or laying around all sick and helpless, either, despite the previous - way less serious - bullet wound (I've mentioned in other fics that he took one for the original President Shin-ra if anyone was wondering about that). All this emotion and worrying is getting to Elena, and we already know she has a problem with talking too much. Now that Tseng's starting to rejoin the land of the living, is she going to spill her guts or stay chicken? Stay tuned, and thanks! ~ JenesisX ))