Chapter Ten: Escape Plan

((Author's Notes: This chapter is dedicated to Blood-Sucker-1428 and Typedamon. Sometimes all it takes is that one special review to brighten your day and change your entire outlook. I can't say thank you enough! ~ JenesisX ))

Elena could hardly believe nearly two weeks had passed since Tseng's injury. Had she really spent that long inside the Junon Harbor medical center, watching and waiting, worrying as she did her best to help him? When he would allow it, that was. After the conversation they'd had while he was still reeling from the sting of learning he may never be able to return to the Turks, they'd barely spoken past what was necessary. She sighed heavily as she walked along the sterile corridor with her hands deep inside the pockets of her blazer, watching her feet as she took each slow step forward.

She had thought that they were making progress, that the uncomfortable tension between them had finally broken. He had told her he actually wanted her there at his side. He'd even allowed her to hold his hand as he drifted to sleep… Was it only because he'd been so heavily drugged and exhausted, overwhelmed by thoughts of losing everything he'd worked for nearly all of his adult life? Gods, she was so selfish to be thinking that way. This was not about her feelings and whatever may or may not exist between them. All that mattered was his recovery, and her presence there was meant to aid him and nothing more. Elena was just another Turk on assignment. She would do well to remember that…

She bit her lip, barely noticing the familiar sights and sounds of the medical center's identical hallways as she turned the corner. She took her time, working out the stiffness in her limbs as she fought to gather her thoughts. She was also trying to kill a bit more time before returning to Tseng's room, because the nurses had arrived to change his bandaging and attend to his other personal needs a while before. Elena always made herself scarce during those times out of respect for him. He'd never asked her to do so, and the nurses never said anything to her about it, but she always left immediately when she saw them approaching his room. It would have felt very wrong to see her boss in a further state of undress even if he hadn't cared, but she knew instinctively that he did… very much. She also had to admit that she was a bit frightened to see his wound exposed. In the Temple of the Ancients, when it was wide open and gaping, she had seen his ribs and parts of his intestines right through the deep tear in his flesh, and she could still picture it in her mind when she closed her eyes. Though she was certain it looked much better now that it was mostly stitched closed and had had some time to heal, she still did not relish the idea of viewing it again. Though not overly squeamish by any means, she had never seen anyone so close to death before, and the fact that it was someone she cared for so deeply made it far more traumatic.

She glanced down at her watch, noting that her lunch break and short walk had passed about an hour's time. The nurses usually finished up in about forty-five minutes when they did a bandage change, bathed him, and took care of whatever else she preferred not to think about. Being completely bedridden was an unpleasant business, something she hoped she would never have to experience. Her heart bled for Tseng, and it only made her want to reach out to him more. But he seemed determined to bear it alone, keeping her at arm's length as he suffered in silence. She was amazed at his strength, but deeply concerned for his well being. She knew he was hurting as much emotionally as he was physically, but he simply wouldn't talk about it. He had shut down and become even more distant than his typical reserved demeanor, and she was helpless to do a thing about it. Elena felt useless as she approached his room, spotting Nurse Becky at one of the small staff stations nearby. Unsure if everyone was finished taking care of Tseng, she took a deep breath and approached. The head of the nursing department took a moment to notice her, busily typing something into a computer. When she noticed Elena a moment later she looked up with her usual bright smile and immediately got to her feet.

"Hello, honey!" she said, coming out from behind her station and placing a warm hand on Elena's shoulder. Despite her concerns and fatigue, she couldn't help but smile back, the short, stocky woman's cheer always contagious. How she could remain so positive in a place surrounded by such tension and pain was nothing short of amazing. "How have you been?"

"I'm all right," Elena said, trying her best not to sound as depressed as she felt. "I was just taking a walk while… he was being tended to."

"Ah. Well, they're just finishing up remaking his bed and getting him settled in," Becky told her, her warm brown eyes reassuring. "I changed his bandaging first, because I have the magic touch and he hates it so much." Elena managed a weak smile of gratitude, once again relieved that Tseng had been assigned the best doctor and nurse on the base. "He never complains, but I can tell it really hurts. That's why I always make sure he gets extra medication afterwards, too, whether he asks for it or not. He's a stubborn one!"

"Yes," Elena agreed with a brief laugh, shaking her head. It felt good somehow to hear that his personality remained unchanged even when he could do so little.

"He's healing well, though," Becky said, glancing down the hallway as the last nurse, a tall young man with blond hair, left Tseng's room with a bin of laundry that needed to be washed. Elena followed her gaze, a nervous flutter coming to life in the pit of her stomach. "The wound is completely scabbed over now with no sign of any infection. He has a long way to go, and he's still healing internally, but he's going to be just fine with time. That is one lucky man."

"I know…"

Elena's eyes remained locked on the doorway to Tseng's room, her pulse beginning to pound at her temples. Her mind started to race, wondering what she ought to do. Should she wait a while until he'd had time to relax, or just slip back inside and quietly return to her cot in the far corner? Would he already be asleep? Did she want him to be?

"Go on, hon," Becky said quietly, her hand returning to Elena's shoulder in the effortless motherly manner she had. "This is really hard for him whether he admits it or not. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"I'm not sure about that," Elena said quietly, barely realizing she had spoken aloud as her gaze remained rooted to the doorway.

"Oh, I am," Becky whispered knowingly, a crooked grin on her face as she leaned in a bit closer. "Trust me on this one... I know his type. I know how much you care about him, too… And I think it's adorable."

Elena's head snapped in her direction, her mouth dropping open as she was jarred from her thoughts. Her face flushed crimson as she stared at the nurse before looking around in horror, finding no one else close enough to have overheard. Her heart raced as the shock fully registered, panic racing through her body. She tried to respond, but the words wouldn't come. Becky only shook her head and smiled, gently turning Elena back toward Tseng's room and giving her a slight nudge forward.

"I'll be by in a few hours to check on him," Becky said in her normal tone, quickly retreating behind her station and sitting back down at her computer. "See you later!" When Elena glanced back at her and attempted to protest, Becky simply winked, quickly looked down, and began to type at a high rate of speed. Another nurse Elena had seen a few times entered the station a moment later and sat at the computer beside Becky, ending any possibility of a further private discussion.

Elena swallowed hard and forced herself to continue down the corridor, finally reaching the glass wall outside Tseng's private intensive care unit. She paused and peered inside, her heart still racing and her face flushed. He was lying in a freshly made bed, tucked in to his waist and wearing a clean shirt, mostly left unbuttoned, over clean bandaging. His left arm remained stretched out flat at his side, multiple intravenous lines and monitors running into his wrist and elbow and even a few of his fingers. His right arm was free, casually draped across the uninjured section of his abdomen. He was still lying on his back, though she noted that his head was propped up on a few additional pillows so that he wasn't left completely flat and unable to see anything going on in the room. His eyes were closed and his expression peaceful, and she assumed he was likely asleep due to the ordeal and the extra pain medication. Even if he was awake, he would probably just ignore her as he had been the last week anyway…

Elena quietly made her way through the doorway and into the room, her soft footsteps masked by the usual sounds of the busy medical center that had become a part of her existence. She glanced at Tseng as she passed his bed, but he didn't move a muscle.

Good… He is sleeping.

She immediately felt guilty for the thought, and was confused a moment later when a rush of disappointment washed over her. She sat down on her cot and frowned, tucking her legs beneath her and propping her head up on her elbow. So did she want him to be asleep or not?! Why did everything have to be so damn confusing… and why did he have to look so handsome even lying there in a hospital bed? She sighed quietly and closed her eyes, suddenly aware of the headache that had begun to form at her temples. Maybe she would lay down and take a nap, too. She'd been sleeping so little, even though Tseng still slept the majority of the day and nearly all of the night, and it was beginning to take its toll. As a Turk she was used to working while sleep deprived, but there was little she could do right now but sit and stare, and the cot she'd been provided was actually rather comfortable.

She turned around and fluffed the pillow, moving aside the book she'd been reading and unfolding the fresh blanket the nurses must have dropped off when they'd changed Tseng's bedding. They really had been quite accommodating, no doubt because of his status with the company and the fact that she was armed and in uniform. She yawned, stretched, and leaned down to start unlacing her heavy black boots.

"I cannot do this much longer…"

Elena froze, the laces of her right boot still held between her fingers. She slowly straightened and perched on the end of the cot, swallowing nervously as she looked across the room. Tseng still looked exactly as he had the last time she'd glanced his way. Even his eyes remained closed. Yet he'd spoken as if he was wide awake, though his voice remained a bit weak due to the damage to his left lung and how infrequently he'd been speaking. The effect was a bit eerie, and it took her a moment to get over her shock. He had taken her completely off guard, and she got the distinct impression he had done it on purpose.

"You're doing so well, though," she said once she trusted herself to speak, watching him for any sign of a reaction. "I know you're hurting, but you get a little better every day, and-"

"I don't mean the injury, Elena. I am capable of handling pain."

His eyes were open now, and this time his tone was harsh. She'd offended him, she quickly realized, wincing involuntarily. He slowly turned his head in her direction, his dark eyes locking with hers.

"I-I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to imply tha-"

"I told you to stop calling me that!" he interrupted with a frown, a rare flash of anger now blazing in his eyes. "I do not deserve that respect when I have become a useless invalid." The shame in his voice was as thick as his accent had become, and Elena felt almost physically ill as the power of his emotions filled the small room. Tseng sighed wearily and closed his eyes again, as if he regretted ever beginning the conversation.

Shit… This is not going well.

Elena forced herself not to react, taking a deep breath and fighting to calm her nerves. A year ago, she would have fallen apart and fled the room in tears. But she had matured a lot in that time, and she'd had an amazing mentor who taught her self discipline, confidence, and how to remain cool under difficult circumstances. She knew Tseng was in a lot of pain and hated being handled by the nursing staff, doing her best not to take his dark mood personally. It was made so much harder by her feelings for him, but at that moment how she felt didn't matter. Tseng was always so stoic, so calm, and revealed so little of himself that he had to be really suffering for his emotions to be so close to the surface. The strong medication played a large part as well, and she was not about to hold his frustration and slight loss of temper against him. He had been amazingly quiet and had not complained about the pain of his injury even once, something she found nearly superhuman, so he was certainly entitled to be in foul mood now and then. She'd wanted him to talk to her, after all, and she'd had a feeling he was not doing as well mentally as he was physically. She had promised to be there for him, and she was going to do it.

By the time Tseng slowly opened his eyes to look her way again, a cautious expression on his face, she had managed to collect herself and favored him with a slight smile.

"Can we try that again?" she asked softly, hesitantly climbing to her feet and eyeing the chair at his bedside that had sat unused for far too long. He followed her gaze but said nothing, finally lifting his free arm and making a slight gesture toward it.

Once Elena settled into the chair, Tseng turned away to stare at the ceiling. She nervously played with her hands, unsure of whether or not to speak. He had clearly meant to tell her something, but all of her attempts to respond had only upset him. She decided it was best to sit and wait, to give him time to collect his thoughts. If he had something he wanted to say, she was there and willing to listen, but she was not about to create another misunderstanding and get yelled at again. She didn't want to upset him, and she wasn't sure how much more she could take before she did finally crack and show weakness.

"I can't stay here…" Tseng finally said in nearly a whisper, his eyes never leaving the ceiling.

Elena blinked in surprise, though she still said nothing. So that was what he'd meant… When she didn't reply, Tseng turned his head in her direction again, and she realized from his expression that he was expecting some kind of response. Though his eyes were a bit glassy from the medication, they remained alert and intense, and she realized that he was serious. The drugs may have loosened his tongue and brought his emotions closer to the surface, but he was still thinking clearly… she could see it in his eyes.

"Aren't they taking good care of you?" she asked him, genuinely confused. From all she had seen, the care he'd been receiving was excellent, and the simple fact that he had survived was evidence of that in and of itself. He'd been operated on by the most senior surgeon and doctor on the base, and the head nurse was in charge of his case and the one who most frequently cared for him. If he hadn't had the benefit of working for Shin-ra and been someone of such prominence, she had a feeling the outcome would have been very different. A chill ran down her spine and she quickly banished the thought.

"Yes, but..." he paused and frowned, his eyes returning to the ceiling. He seemed unsure of whether or not he wished to continue, and Elena leaned back into the chair and attempted to appear calm and patient. Inside, though, her stomach was tying itself in knots and her mind was a blur. Tseng had finally decided to speak to her again, and she had a feeling there was something very important on his mind that he had been holding back for some time. "I am not comfortable here."

"Why?" she asked, wishing he would look at her again even though her heart fluttered every time their eyes met. "Is there anything I can get for you to make things better?"

"My dignity…"

The words were spoken so quietly that they took a moment to register, and when they did the shame in his voice shook Elena to her core. She wanted to reach out and take his hand, all the while fighting a brief urge to stand and flee the room. She had no idea what to do, what to say. Fresh tears burned her eyes but she grit her teeth and fought them away. She was a Turk, and she also needed to be there for him the way she had promised. Yet she found she didn't know how to respond, staring at him helplessly as his eyes remained locked on the ceiling tiles.

"I tire of laying here, helpless, at the mercy of strangers," Tseng continued, keeping his tone flat and emotionless. Even so, Elena knew there were intense feelings behind each word, buried just beneath the surface. "I feel so vulnerable, and it is… humiliating, to have them bathing and changing me like an infant. I will not remain here and allow my body to be used as a paycheck for people who have no respect for me."

"W-what do you mean? Did someone do something to hurt you?" she asked him, her voice breaking with concern. She was supposed to be watching over him. Had she missed something? Had someone been mistreating him when he was unable to protect himself? Maybe leaving when he was being tended to had been a huge mistake…

"No, no," he said, sounding almost annoyed by the suggestion, as if he thought he could have defended himself if necessary. "It isn't that… though I am sick of being referred to as 'that Wutaiian' by the young male nurse when he's talking to the others, and he treats me like an inanimate object." He paused and sighed heavily, closing his eyes again as if it made what he was revealing easier to say. "I'm tired of lying here so exposed, on display to anyone who passes by. I'm tired of all the noise, the constant light, of being disturbed at all hours because it fits into someone else's schedule. I'm tired of people touching me whenever they like, studying me like a specimen, remarking over and over again how miraculous I am while staring at me like fools. I just want to go home, where I can recover in privacy with my honor intact."

The pain was so obvious in his expression that Elena felt it as clearly as if someone had struck her in the heart, and she had to look down into her lap to keep from being overwhelmed. She knew he was unhappy with his situation, but had not realized just how deeply being hospitalized for so long was affecting him. As he had spoken those words, she could hear in his voice that he was wounded to his soul, a man whose strong sense of honor was offended. Even though he had tried to hide his emotions beneath his monotone, she had heard them loud and clear, and it took everything she had not to cry.

She bit her cheek as she watched him, his eyes still closed and a severe frown on his face. Unable to stand it any longer, she reached out and took a hold of his hand. His fingers remained rigid for a moment, but he finally relaxed and even curled them lightly around her much smaller hand. A brief surge of relief rushed through her as the warmth of his touch removed the chill that had settled into her fingers, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"I saw Nurse Becky in the hallway before I came back inside," Elena said, her voice naturally taking on a quiet, soothing tone. Tseng opened his eyes and turned to look at her with interest. "She said you're healing really well and your wound looks good. So you're making a lot of progress. You'll be out of here before you know it."

"I need you to help me convince Doctor Welsh that I am capable of taking care of myself and would heal more quickly in my quarters, where I can rest more peacefully," Tseng said, completely ignoring her words. His eyes locked with hers and she was unable to look away, a jolt of electricity running through her. She felt his grip tighten on her hand, desperately hoping he couldn't tell how much something as simple as eye contact affected her.

"But si- Tseng… I really don't know if that's such a good idea," she said weakly, finally managing to blink under his insistent gaze. He couldn't really think he was in any condition to be released from the medical center, could he? He still had a huge wound in his chest that remained sutured and stapled shut, healing internal injuries, multiple intravenous lines… not to mention that he was not eating or drinking on his own and was still breathing with the assistance of an oxygen line fixed beneath his nose. He was also unable to get out of bed for gods' sake! What did he think he was going to do if released? But he continued to look at her with complete conviction in his eyes, frowning at her words.

"Why not? I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I may need a bit of assistance at first, but you said you would help me, yes?"

Elena swallowed hard. "Of… of course! I just don't know if…"

He watched her closely as she studied him, her mind racing. She fought to keep her expression unreadable, something else he'd been working to teach her. She looked him over doubtfully, taking in the thick bandaging wrapped around his torso, all the wires and tubes, and the weak, exhausted look in his eyes he was trying so hard to hide. While she did indeed have some experience caring for the sick and injured, it certainly did not include anything like this. How in the hell was she supposed to help care for a grown man, and a rather large one at that, who could not even sit up on his own as far as she had seen? She was strong for her small stature, but there was simply no way she could lift him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked when she stared a little too long, and she felt her cheeks flush crimson.

"N-no, I just… was thinking is all. About how that might be possible," she lied, kicking herself the moment the words were out of her mouth. But there was such hope in his eyes, such determination, and he was counting on her to help him. He needed her, and leaving the hospital was all he wanted. How could she refuse him, as improbable as it may have seemed? Besides, this was Tseng, the man who led the Turks and had been her partner and mentor for the last year. She had never known him to be wrong, and he always made his decisions after careful consideration. It was obvious that he had given this matter a lot of thought, and if he believed it was the best option, she instinctively trusted him despite her initial doubts. He was the only one who really knew how he felt, after all, and what he was capable of. Maybe the hospital staff was holding him back, and he was ready to progress more than they would allow. Or maybe she just wanted to believe him and make him happy…

"Doctor Welsh is scheduled to see me tomorrow morning," Tseng informed her, doing his best to shift into a more comfortable position and trying to hide the resulting wince of pain. Elena took the fact that he was more upright in bed and able to move at all to be a positive sign, however. "I would like you to be here to help me convince him that I'd do well released to my quarters with a nurse assigned to visit me as an outpatient. That is what he did when I was shot a few years ago, and I do not see why he wouldn't be willing to do so again."

Elena had to bite her tongue to keep from reminding him that this was likely a much more serious injury. She wasn't sure one could even have a more serious wound than his and still be alive. She was terrified that he was pushing himself far too hard because of his desire to get back to work and would end up doing something that might get him killed. She looked down at her hand wrapped loosely around his and kept her concerns to herself, certain he would not appreciate them, and even more sure he would not have listened anyway.

"All right," she said quietly, realizing she had backed herself in a corner. She wanted to please him, and she wanted to do whatever she could to assist him with his recovery… but she also wanted to protect him and make sure he was safe. Was it possible to do all of those things at once? And at the end of the road, would he hate her, or recognize how much she had cared and done her best?

"Thank you," Tseng said quietly, closing his eyes after failing to hold back a yawn. He seemed content with their agreement as the extra medication began to catch up with him, his hand relaxing in hers. His breathing soon grew deep and even, and she realized he had allowed himself to finally give in to sleep as soon as he knew there was hope he might soon be able to leave the medical center. Elena shook her head and leaned forward to rest her elbow on the bed, her other hand still holding his. As she watched him sleep, she was unable to shake the feeling that something very important had just happened.

((Author's Notes: Hey gang! Sorry for the update delay. If I'm honest, I fell into a severe bout of writer's block/depression, and had really become worried that I might not be doing my characters the justice they deserved. But my beta, a few good friends, and an awesome reader really helped me shake it off, and I think I've managed to pull this off reasonably well. Tseng's about had it with the hospital, but let's be honest. The guy is kidding himself if he thinks he's in any shape to go home no matter how badass he is. But he sort of half-guilts/half-leaders Elena into believing she ought to help him try to pull this off, even though she's got strong reservations. Next chapter, we'll see what Doctor Welsh thinks of this brilliant plan! Hint: Elena got herself in a bit deeper than she intended. I promise to do my best not to take so damn long! I appreciate all the new favs/follows, and most especially any reviews you can spare for me. Thank you! ~ JenesisX ))