Closing the Distance

by JenesisX

When Tseng is found near death in the Temple of the Ancients, Elena takes his injury hardest of all. As she nurses him back to health, they are forced to confront the changing dynamic of their relationship and their true feelings for one another. (Tseng/Elena; Set within the AU of 'Irony of Fate.')

14. Chapter Fourteen: The Uncertain Road

Chapter Fourteen: The Uncertain Road

Elena was in high spirits as she casually paced around the front half of Tseng's room, keeping an eye out for the nurses. He was just finishing the soup she'd brought him from his favorite Wutaiian restaurant on the base, a large portion of the food from his hospital tray already packed into the take-out bag and ready for disposal. They had developed a routine over the last few days, and Elena was thrilled to finally be able to do something useful for him. She would sneak the food in shortly after the nurses served his meals, removing the items he would never have touched in a million years and replacing them with what she'd purchased. Then she'd scrape a gradually increasing amount of the vile portions into the bag, making it look as if Tseng was slowly eating more… which he was. Just not of what they were serving. When he was finished eating, she'd return the partially emptied plate to his tray and take the discarded food and take-out containers to the isolated restroom she'd been using for her phone calls with Reno. So far, the busy staff was none the wiser.

Elena turned and snuck a glance at Tseng, hoping he wouldn't notice. She was unable to hold back a smile of satisfaction, thrilled that she was finally able to actually take care of him a little. And it was working. His color was better, and she'd noticed that he was able to stay awake a bit longer during the day. He still slept most of the time, but there was definitely some improvement. His eyes were brighter, too, and his voice was stronger. He was still extremely weak and in so much pain, but slowly, she could see him fighting back one day at a time. She wanted to tell him how incredible he was, how strong and brave he had been… but she knew he didn't want to hear those words. She sensed that as far as Tseng was concerned, he was simply doing his job, and his mind remained focused on only one goal.

She watched him push the nearly empty plastic soup bowl aside, and when he looked up he caught her eye before she had a chance to turn away. A slight smile crossed his face, and Elena swallowed hard against all of the feelings it stirred within her before managing to speak.

"All finished?"

"Yes, thank you," he replied, settling back against the pillows supporting him with a slight wince of pain. "The food at this hospital is delicious." He smirked, and Elena could not hold back the girlish giggle that escaped her.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

She gathered the evidence of their crime into the paper bag and folded it up tight, then set the largely emptied plate the nurses had served back on the metal tray in front of him. "Look at that, you finished almost two thirds of your lunch today," she said with a crooked grin. "You even ate the creamed spinach!"

Tseng made a disgusted face, leaning as far away from the tray as he could. "Why would anyone create such a thing… Spinach is disgusting enough on its own."

"They'll come and collect it soon, hopefully," Elena said sympathetically, still a bit surprised by just how strong his aversion to certain types of food was. She was dying to sit and ask him if he liked various things from her list of favorites some time. He wouldn't even touch the mashed potatoes the previous evening, though in his defense they had been rather runny and covered in a suspicious-looking grayish gravy. Elena would eat almost anything when hungry, and even she would have had a hard time getting those down.

"They better, or I may not be able to keep down what I ate."

Elena playfully rolled her eyes, approaching the door with the bag of trash in hand. "Let me go and dispose of the evidence, and I'll be right back," she said, pausing to study him for a moment. He looked so relaxed and content at that moment, his dark eyes a bit heavy from the combination of pain medication and a full stomach. It was still so strange to see him so vulnerable and unguarded as he lay stretched out in bed, and it made her chest ache to know he was hurting and unhappy about his situation. She wanted to reach out to him so badly, to do so much more for him, to simply be there for him. What she was doing was not nearly enough, and it wounded her to her soul. Elena finally tore her eyes away and quickly left the room, wondering if she would ever find the courage to tell him how she felt. But at the same time, she knew she could never allow it no matter how badly she wanted to or how much holding back slowly killed her one day at a time. They were Turks first, and he was her boss. Besides, someone like Tseng would never feel the same for her…

Who did she think she was, developing feelings for him of all people? Elena was filled with a bitter self loathing as she made her way down the corridor, frowning severely. She was no one, just a young woman from a small town in the middle of nowhere… a mere rookie who was still struggling to prove herself and be accepted as a Turk. She had only been in Midgar for about a year, and while she'd excelled and quickly risen in rank, she knew she had a long way to go and precious little experience. She'd made her share of mistakes and was teased mercilessly by the others in the department for everything from her appearance to her voice to her habits. The label of rookie clung to her, and she had yet to complete the final stage of her training. She wondered if she ever would if Tseng was not there to guide her. Gods, he had to be able to return to duty, or she would be utterly lost in more ways than one…

He was the widely respected director of the entire department, and had been a Turk for… well, a long time. He seemed virtually flawless, and everyone looked up to him like he was some kind of god in a blue suit. Even Reno considered him a role model and rarely spoke a negative word about him outside of some occasional light teasing. But for Elena, Tseng had quickly become her everything even though she tried her hardest to push the powerful feelings aside and focus on her work. She was an idiot for letting her admiration of him go beyond professional respect, but she had been helpless to stop it. It had started almost instantly, the moment she laid eyes upon him. Tseng was undeniably gorgeous, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from him as he sat behind his desk that first morning she reported to his office. Those delicate but handsome Wutaiian features, his intense dark eyes that seemed to look right into her soul, that stern but serene expression… long, silky black hair she longed to touch. And when he stood and towered over her, she almost melted. He seemed so powerful, yet always so calm and controlled. He made her extremely nervous at first, but she always felt safe when she was with him. While his position intimidated her, he had the power to soothe her anxiety on missions and bring out her confidence, something that greatly contributed to her quick improvement. She was certain that if not for Tseng's patience and personal attention, she never would have made it as a Turk.

Elena pushed open the restroom door and threw the bag into the trashcan, stopping in front of the mirror to glare at herself in disgust. She was kidding herself if she thought a man like Tseng would ever have any interest in her. She knew she was widely considered to be pretty, though closer to cute than beautiful, and she wasn't built like a model or particularly glamorous. She was short and petite with a soft, cherubic face and big blue eyes. Her short pixie haircut only served to make her look younger and more innocent, something that had backfired on her mightily. She'd thought it would make her look tougher and less feminine, but it only accented the roundness of her face and made her seem even shorter somehow. The navy blue suit covered up what curves she had, making her appear plain and boyish. She wasn't sophisticated or particularly interesting, and she tended to ramble and embarrass herself at the worst possible times. Even if Tseng was open to the idea of risking an office romance with a subordinate, it would never be with her. She had seen his secretary and personal assistant, after all, clearly hired by Rufus for their appearances. They were always shamelessly flirting with him and undressing him with their eyes, giggling and gossiping and trying to think of ways to make Tseng actually pay attention to them. When he had women like them available and willing, why would he give her a second look?

Tears burned her eyes as she quickly stepped away from the mirror, cursing herself for being such a fool. That was not why she was there. She was there to help Tseng get well and be able to return to duty. She was doing so as his partner and his friend… and yes, because she loved him. She was past the point of being able to deny that fact. It didn't matter that he would never know or feel the same. Elena cared about him so deeply that she never would have been able to walk away, and he had no one else to stand beside him. She was all he had right now, and he needed her. She took a deep breath and stood up as tall as she could, steeling herself against the pain as she left the restroom. She had a feeling this was going to be her most difficult assignment to date.

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Tseng was relieved when an unknown nurse arrived almost immediately after Elena's departure and removed the foul remains of the hospital lunch from his room after making a quick note in his chart. Good. They were convinced he was eating the slop they brought him, noting his positive progress for the doctor. One more step toward his release as an outpatient.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax once the nurse had checked his vitals and made her exit. She had done everything without speaking a single word to him. How he hated that. While he didn't necessarily want to make small talk with these people, they could have at least acknowledged him instead of treating him like an object… or a specimen. Some of the staff were quite pleasant and friendly, but others barely looked at him and never even said hello. It was odd, and he had no idea why they would behave that way. Was it because of who he was within Shin-ra, or did they treat all of their patients that way? Did some of them not realize who he was and assume he didn't know Universal simply because he was Wutaiian, as stupid as that would have been? Sadly, it wouldn't have been the first time. He supposed he could have asked and started using big words they likely wouldn't have known the meanings of, but he never bothered. He had enough on his mind and didn't plan to stay there much longer anyway.

After only a few minutes, Tseng opened his eyes and glanced toward the doorway. He frowned, immediately scolding himself. There was no way Elena would be back already. But the need to look for her had been nearly overpowering, and he was left feeling weak and foolish. When she was gone, the room felt so empty and silent despite the constant sounds of the monitors, and he was suddenly aware of just how alone he was. It shouldn't have mattered. All that did was that he continue to heal so he could get out of there and back to work as soon as possible. He didn't need… company in order to do so. He had never needed anyone to accomplish his goals, and there was no reason to start now regardless of how badly he was injured.

Yet he could not deny that her presence was making things easier somehow. She had been there all along, and he would never forget her for that. It meant far more than he would ever admit or be able to express, and just thinking about those feeling left him confused and uncomfortable. Having her by his side helped take his mind off the pain and frustration that filled his days. She talked to him even when he was not in the mood to respond, something that relaxed him even though he often pretended to be annoyed. She made sure the nurses kept on schedule with his pain medication because he had too much pride to ask for it, and now she was going out of her way three times a day to make sure he had food he would actually eat. He still couldn't wrap his mind around that. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. The hospital staff was seeing to his needs because they had to, but Elena… she was taking care of him because she chose to. Wanted to. And stranger still, she seemed to be enjoying it. She seemed to have a renewed energy the last few days, and there was a sparkle in her eyes each time she returned with the smuggled meals. Was it because she was finally able to do something other than sit around bored, the thrill of getting away with a 'crime'… or something more?

Sometimes when their eyes met as she sat at his bedside, Tseng's breath caught in his throat and a powerful feeling stirred deep within him, and he could have sworn he saw the same emotion reflected back at him. But he always looked away before he lost control of his expression, carefully biting down on the dangerous feelings that had been growing stronger over the past few weeks. He would not allow himself to be so foolish. He knew he was attracted to Elena… he always had been. It had surprised him, because he wouldn't have thought she was his type. But there was just something about her. She was so small, something that brought out a protectiveness in him… yet she was deceptively strong and capable and had grown into a very skilled Turk over the last year. He had proven Reno wrong by taking her under his wing and mentoring her, taking her as his partner and teaching her everything he knew… Well, almost. Even the best of teachers never revealed all of his tricks. Elena was so eager to please him, so determined to succeed and improve, and he admired her for that. It was also painfully endearing… She never gave up, even if she did something stupid and barely held back tears of frustration. Tseng hated it when people cried, but when Elena did and tried so hard to hide it… it made him want to reach out and comfort her, an impulse he fought with all his might more than once. Her big blue eyes were captivating, and it was easy to get lost in them. Gods, she was one of his Turks! He couldn't let himself think about her like that…

But he was also human, and he could not deny that as a man he thought she was beautiful. Even in the suit. Or especially in it. But there was more to it than that, and that was the part that scared him the most. A simple physical attraction was one thing. That could be easily dealt with and pushed aside with proper self-control. This… This went deeper, and it wasn't going away. Tseng sighed as he stared at the ceiling, admitting to himself that he had allowed himself to develop feelings for Elena that went far beyond professional or even friendship. It was something he had never felt before, and it was only growing stronger as she stayed by his side and did her best to help him recover.

How could he have let this happen? He was her boss. He was older. He was supposed to be the one in control. This was entirely unacceptable! His personal feelings and emotions had no place in his line of work. He was to remain an unknown entity, a calm and reliable professional the others followed without question and trusted with their lives. He had never had this problem before, part of the reason he was never seen with a member of the opposite sex. There was no room for that in his life, no place for anyone else… it would only interfere with his work and complicate matters. It was a luxury someone in his position could not afford, a sacrifice he had to make for his job. Every now and then the feelings of loneliness and longing would rise up within him, but they could be painfully squelched with meditation and by throwing himself relentlessly into his job until he nearly collapsed from exhaustion. But now, he could not use his work as a shield, trapped in bed by his injury with nothing but time to think. And with Elena constantly by his side, much of that time was spent thinking about her.

He knew he had to get control of himself quickly before things got any worse. Elena could never know of his confused feelings for her. It would ruin their working relationship, and if word got out his reputation would be permanently soiled. Tseng frowned as he stared at the ceiling he had grown to hate, trying to convince himself that his feelings for Elena were wrong and needed to stop. Immediately.

Gods, but if they were wrong, why did the very thought of her ease his pain? Why did her presence make him feel safe in a strange place he found so unnerving? When she took his hand he was warmed all over, and sometimes when their eyes met his heart fluttered like that of a nervous teenager. He knew she would never be interested in him, a much older man who was so serious and dedicated to his work, but it was nearly impossible to stop thinking about her as he lay there with nothing else to do. Despite his every effort and legendary self-control, the feelings he had tried so hard to fight over the past year had only grown more powerful. He even dreamed about her sometimes. And if he had his way and earned his release, they would soon be spending even more time together, alone, in his quarters. What had he been thinking when he agreed to that? Perhaps it would force him to face the problem and get control of himself once and for all… He was determined that by the time he returned to duty, he would have his emotions under wraps and be able to see Elena no differently than any other Turk no matter how badly it hurt. It could be no other way.

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When Elena returned to Tseng's room, she was puzzled to find him in a dark mood. He would barely look at her, claiming he had a headache and wanted to be left alone. She could see in his eyes that there was something more to it, a sickening feeling settling into the pit of her stomach. He had been so upbeat just ten minutes before… but she had grown used to his moodiness and there wasn't much she could do. With the amount of pain he was in and the side effects from all the medications he was taking, she really couldn't blame him and did her best to be understanding. It still stung, though, especially after the troubled thoughts she'd just been having…

She'd retreated to her cot in the corner, pulling out her PHS and finding a friendly text from Rude. She was touched that he had contacted her just to ask how she was holding up, the only one to do so thus far. While far from pouring her heart out, she let him know she was tired and missed them, and that Tseng was doing well but being grouchy. Then she wished he and Reno luck and good health wherever they were, because she still didn't know. Maybe Rude would tell her if he wrote back, since Reno never had during their conversations. She had just sent the message when she looked up and saw Doctor Welsh entering the room.

Elena instantly tensed despite the genuine smile on the aging doctor's face. She'd been dreading this visit for the past few days. She was fond of the man and trusted him with Tseng's life, but she knew he was not going to be happy that they'd found a way to ensure he could still be released as an outpatient. She also knew that the memo he'd received informing him of Elena's new assignment had been worded in such a way that it had more or less ordered him to release Tseng from the medical center as soon as he was physically able to survive while being cared for in his quarters, authorized by Rufus Shin-ra himself. Doctor Welsh was used to dealing with Shin-ra Incorporated and powerful members of their staff, since he worked at a hospital in the center of their main military base, but she couldn't imagine he liked receiving documents like that… orders that went against what he thought was best for his patients.

"Good afternoon!" Doctor Welsh said cheerfully, picking up Tseng's chart and beginning to scan it from behind his thick glasses. Elena rose from the cot and approached his bed as she always did, quietly offering her support. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Tseng answered with a nod, his mood instantly improved. Elena watched him closely, sensing that he was playing it up for the doctor. She had noticed that over his last few visits. Tseng had started to act more energetic in Doctor Welsh and Nurse Becky's presence once he decided he needed to be released as soon as possible, severely downplaying his pain level and any other symptoms and complaints. In fact, he had stopped complaining about anything at all, even how much the tight bandages wrapped around his entire upper body made him feel smothered and itchy. The moment they left the room, however, he would slump back into bed, exhausted, the strain clear on his face. Elena had been terrified when she realized what he was doing, especially because it seemed to be working. He was succeeding in convincing them that he was doing better than he really was… and soon it would be up to her to take care of him. Gods, what was she going to do… He trusted her, and she wasn't sure she trusted herself.

"Good to hear! Mm, this is excellent," the doctor said, nodding at the information in the chart. "You're eating and drinking well, most of your medications have been changed over to oral doses, and they've got you sitting up on the edge of your bed once a day. … It says that yesterday you were able to stand with assistance for a few moments?"

"That is correct," Tseng said with a slight smirk, seemingly pleased by the doctor's shock. He had always enjoyed proving people wrong and exceeding expectations.

Elena winced at the thought of Tseng being dragged to his feet when he should likely still be resting peacefully on his back, wishing she could purge the horrific image from her mind. Watching the nurses help him to sit up for the first time was bad enough. He never made a sound, but the agony was so clear in his eyes that she wanted to vomit. His complexion had gone ghostly pale and he began to sweat, his breathing so labored she feared his damaged lung might collapse despite the oxygen he was receiving. She'd had to cover her mouth with one hand and grip the sheets of her cot with the other to keep from crying out and running to him to stop the madness, but he was determined to succeed. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, managing to slow his breathing and somehow handle the intense level of pain until he'd met his goal. And he'd done it each of the three days since, every attempt the same agonizing routine. Elena had to leave the room, and she definitely had not stayed there when they decided to try to briefly get him on his feet the day before. She felt like a coward and a traitor, but she simply couldn't handle watching him suffer and put himself through that kind of torture.

It was insane… too much too soon, and she couldn't understand why he thought he had to rush things instead of taking his time and letting his body heal at its own pace. He had certainly earned that right after all the years of hard work and sacrifice he had put into the company. She wished he could simply relax for once and let others handle things, let her take care of him until his wounds were healed… There was no reason he had to hurt this way, but it was almost as if he needed to. By the time Elena returned to his room after each session, he was always sound asleep from exhaustion and extra pain medication, and she would sit and hold his hand and cry silent tears.

You're killing me. Watching you hurt this way is killing me…

"That's amazing," Doctor Welsh said as he shook his head, his unruly gray hair flopping to one side. "I'm sure it must be incredibly painful, however."

"A bit."

Elena wanted to ring Tseng's neck. She stared at him for a moment, incredulous, but knew he would never forgive her if she spoke up. Doctor Welsh briefly glanced at her as if he sensed her unease, then set Tseng's chart aside and quickly looked over the monitors and his remaining intravenous lines.

"Everything is looking good. I'm a bit concerned about your breathing without the oxygen tube, however. You seem to do all right for a while, but your levels slowly drop and the nurses report some wheezing and congestion on your left side."

"I can hear it, too," Elena finally said, earning a hard look from Tseng that the doctor did not miss. "It isn't always much, but it's definitely there… and it worries me if he's going to be released soon."

"I am not having any difficulty breathing without the oxygen," Tseng insisted firmly, his mouth forming into a stubborn line. "I don't feel I need it any longer at all."

"You know that you have permanent damage to your left lung, and some of that weakness is going to be permanent… but right now, it's too early to say how much it will effect you. But as far as your release goes, I am willing to compromise with you," Doctor Welsh said with a slight smile, taking a seat on the nurses' rolling stool. "I received the paperwork from your office, so I realize it's of utmost importance that your release is hurried because you are needed to help with important matters… even if it'll be from bed. But I'm not about to risk your life over it, even if you are."

"Thank you…" Elena whispered, relief washing through her like a warm blanket. No one seemed to hear her over the sounds of the monitors, and Tseng's attention was completely focused on the doctor.

"All right," Tseng said slowly, tilting his head curiously.

"There are portable oxygen canisters we can provide in certain situations, and I'd be willing to have the nurses bring a supply with them during their visits. Since you seem stable enough to go without during the day for the most part, if you agree to sleep with the tube at night until you are cleared to stop I will check that goal off your list right now. But you will also have an inhaler that you are to use any time you begin to wheeze or have shortness or breath, and I'm adding a decongestant to your medications as well."

Tseng looked a bit irritated at the idea of additional medications and having to continue sleeping with the oxygen tube, but didn't even hesitate before answering. "Very well."

"And I'm trusting you to make sure he does what he's supposed to and doesn't make excuses," Doctor Welsh said, glancing up and meeting Elena's eyes with a fatherly smile. She nodded, her stomach churning with nervousness. "It's very kind of you to do this so he can get out of here, since it seems to be so important to him." He turned back to his patient and shook his head with a crooked grin, but Tseng's expression remained unreadable.

"There is much going on right now, and I fear my second in command is a bit overwhelmed. I am also a man who values peace and quiet… and my privacy. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I need to go home and rest now. We will manage."

Tseng looked up at Elena, favoring her with that slight smile that always made her weak in the knees. Her heart fluttered and she felt her face grow warm, finally managing what she hoped was a confident nod and a smile of her own. Did he really trust her that much to help with his recovery, or was he simply that desperate to leave the medical center?

"I understand," Doctor Welsh said, unoffended. "But I still don't like it and remain concerned that you're rushing things and may seriously hurt yourself. Frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't opened up your wound with all the moving around… which is the other thing I'd like to talk to you about today."

Tseng lifted an eyebrow and Elena felt herself grow tense, unsure of why. There was suddenly something different in the doctor's expression, something more serious, and she clasped her hands tightly in front of her to keep from fidgeting. She found herself staring at Tseng's right hand resting on the bed beside him, wishing she could reach out and take it. It looked so inviting, so warm and strong, and she could remember exactly the way her hand fit against his. Whether the desire was to support him or comfort herself, she didn't want to try to answer.

The doctor cleared his throat, then reached inside his white jacket and produced a small container of pills. "I'll begin by saying that I've never done anything like this before, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it ethically," he said, keeping his voice low and shifting uncomfortably on the stool. "But I know I'd feel much worse if I released you knowing it was premature and something happened. And I also realize just how important it is to you that you're able to recover enough to return to your job. My first priority is always to save my patients' lives, but my next is to give them back the life they had before. Whatever white magic you… 'came in contact with' in that temple certainly gave you a head start, but this may be the rest of the advantage you'll need."

"What is it?" Tseng asked, his dark eyes locked upon the container in the doctor's hand. It was a typical orange prescription bottle, but label was strange and bore the familiar Shin-ra company emblem. Elena was wondering the same, but she tried not to interrupt unless it was necessary or she was asked. This conversation was between Tseng and his doctor, and she considered the fact that he allowed her to remain in the room to be a privilege now that he was well enough to speak for himself.

"This is… an experimental medication developed by the Shin-ra Science Department, intended to-

"No. I am not interested," Tseng interrupted, shaking his head as a look of intense disgust crossed his face.

Doctor Welsh blinked, stunned. "I haven't even told you what it's for yet."

"That does not matter. If Professor Hojo had anything to do with it, I am not putting it in my body."

Elena tried not to visibly react, shifting her eyes from the doctor to Tseng as her mind began to race. His mask of neutrality had been removed, his emotions written plainly across his face. He was frowning severely, his dark eyes burning into the bottle with something bordering on contempt. His opposition had been instant and extremely strong… and Elena had no idea why. He hadn't even let Doctor Welsh tell him what the medication was for despite how badly he wanted to earn his release and be able to return to work, and his response seemed to be based entirely on the fact that Hojo was connected with whatever it was. Weren't they colleagues, working for the same company at approximately the same level of influence? She knew that as department heads they saw each other at least weekly at staff meetings, so they had to have some interaction with each other… and they even shared a common culture in a city where Wutaiians were a very small minority. Elena had never heard of any infighting among the department heads or other executives, though she was rather new and not privy to any inside connections or most of the hottest gossip. Reno and Rude had just started to include her in some of it, but she had a feeling they would not have shared something so sensitive. And Tseng never gossiped or talked about anything personal…

"If that's the only issue, then I can assure you he had nothing to do with the development or testing of this medication," Doctor Welsh finally said, still taken aback. He clearly could not figure out why one high-ranking Shin-ra employee wanted nothing to do with something developed by another. "In fact, in all my years at this hospital I've never received a single piece of equipment or new medication developed by Professor Hojo."

Tseng snorted, his expression deathly serious. "Hojo would much rather destroy lives than help to restore them." He muttered an additional word or two under his breath in Wutaiian, and from his harsh tone and expression Elena assumed he hadn't said anything kind about the elderly professor.

Doctor Welsh looked extremely uncomfortable by then, glancing across the bed at Elena for a moment. She offered him a slight, helpless shrug to indicate that she had no idea what the issue was even though she was a fellow Turk. She assumed she probably looked like a chocobo caught in the headlights of a motorcycle on the main road leading away from the base.

Yeah, sorry… you've got me!

While Elena had seen Professor Hojo in passing more than once, she had never actually spoken with the diminutive scientist. She didn't know all that much about him, but she'd begun hearing whispers and rumors shortly after arriving at Shin-ra Headquarters, mostly from other female employees. They said he was a womanizer and a pervert, into all kinds of strange fetishes and bizarre interests. There were even claims that he attempted to rope women into participating in strange experiments and had done so in the past. Elena had rolled her eyes and written the stories off as nonsense and the product of office boredom. The man had to be nearing seventy, and the years had not been kind. He was painfully thin and stooped forward, his glasses extremely thick and magnifying his beady eyes. Perhaps the shriveled old scientist was a bit of a dirty old man, but at his age she was certain he was harmless. What could he possibly do? She doubted he could make it up half a flight of stairs by himself.

"This, uh, medication was developed by a female scientist who has been responsible for several highly successful new treatment options over the last five years," Doctor Welsh finally went on after awkwardly clearly his throat, breaking Elena from her confused thoughts. Tseng still looked unhappy, and she added it to the list of things she wanted to ask him about if she ever found the courage. Why was it so hard to simply talk to him? "I think very highly of her work or I would not even be suggesting this, because it's still in the experimental stages… It has yet to be tried on an actual patient."

"As opposed to a 'specimen' in the laboratories," Tseng said coldly, causing Doctor Welsh to briefly look down into his lap. Elena didn't like the way he emphasized that word, gritting her teeth in frustration. The laboratories were highly classified and above her current level of security clearance, and she had very little knowledge of what actually went on there. But she had a bad feeling about it, especially after the incident involving Sephiroth and whatever it was he had released from the main area. Many people had been killed that night, and she could remember clearly the panic in the air as she'd helped to evacuate the residents along with the other Turks. Tseng had refused to take her with him and been gone for hours, and when he'd finally returned he'd been grim and tight-lipped. If he'd written a report, she'd never seen it.

"While I may not always agree with them, your Science Department's practices aren't my responsibility," Doctor Welsh said, his voice quiet but also a bit defensive. "Now did you want to hear about this or not? I'm trying to help you here. I was already uncertain about offering an experimental drug to one of my patients, especially one with such a severe injury, and I'm starting to think this was a huge mistake..."

"Please at least tell us what it does," Elena said, hoping to dispel the tension in the air. She was also extremely curious, and if it was something that could possibly help Tseng she was not about to let him throw away the opportunity with his stubbornness. He glanced up at her briefly and for a moment she thought he was about to scold her, but then he quickly looked away and simply nodded to Doctor Welsh to give his approval.

"This medication has been shown to boost cell regeneration," he said, holding the bottle up in front of his glasses and staring at the label. "There was extensive testing done in cases involving long term serious injuries, and it was shown to improve overall recovery time by up to 28% in some cases."

"In… unaltered humans?" Tseng asked, lifting an eyebrow. He still appeared reluctant, but there was definitely a spark of interest in his eyes.

Doctor Welsh nodded. "Yes. And in additional to that, those who received the pill recovered more strength and function than predicted in almost every case."

"Oh wow…" Elena breathed, the implications immediately clear. If Tseng was not expected to recover enough to be cleared to return to duty, this medication might hold the key to giving him back his life. Tseng, however, barely reacted, listening closely and carefully digesting the information.

"So you can see why I thought of you when the report about this study came across my desk the other morning," Doctor Welsh said. "I got in contact with the scientist who developed it and asked if she might be willing to allow me to try it on a special patient of mine, on the condition that we closely monitor your results for her studies. It's information we would have been taking down anyway, just a bit more detailed… and she may want a few additional blood samples and an interview or two."

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable becoming a lab rat for one of Hojo's dogs," Tseng said, his expression set in stone. "It sounds ideal but they always make their work appear that way. I'm not some common fool."

"But… but sir!" Elena interjected, her eyes wide with shock. "If this works, it will help you heal faster, and it might be what you need to assure you'll be able to get back to work! How can you just-"

Tseng fixed his eyes upon her, and suddenly he was her superior and she the clueless rookie. "Elena, you do not understand what they-"

Doctor Welsh quickly rose to his feet and began backing toward the door. "How about I give the two of you a moment to talk this over?" He was out the door before they had a chance to protest, leaving the two to stare at each other in tense silence.

Tseng closed his eyes and brought his right hand to the bridge of his nose, bowing his head and sighing quietly. Elena cringed guiltily, feeling responsible for causing his stress and wishing she could go to his side and gently rub his neck, or do something to ease his tension. She wanted to take care of him so badly, but all she ever seemed to do was make things worse.

"I'm sorry, sir…"

Tseng slowly lowered his hand and glanced up at her, his dark eyes tired. "What have I told you about calling me that…"

Elena's cheeks instantly flushed crimson, her heart in her throat. "Oh gods! I'm so sorry! I- I totally forgot. I got nervous, and… and…."

"Elena, please sit down and relax."

She swallowed hard and approached the chair at his bedside, lowering herself into it and clasping her hands tightly in her lap. She stared down at them, afraid to look at him again. She could feel his eyes upon her, imagining the look of disapproval he was giving her. She knew he would never love her, but gods, she didn't need to make him hate her instead. Why did everything she tried to do for him turn out so wrong…

"I just thought the medication sounded like it could really make a difference and help you get better," she said quietly, still unable to look at him. "That's all I want…"

Tseng sighed again, and she heard him shift slightly beneath the sheets that covered him. "I know. Perhaps that is where some of the problem lies."

Elena finally lifted her head, frowning in confusion as she cautiously met his eyes. Her heart began to race, terrified that he was about to scold her for letting her emotions effect her judgment. Or… oh gods, did he know!? Had he seen it in her eyes, or read it in her actions? Did he finally realize how hopelessly in love with him she was? Panic began to rise within her and she unfolded her hands to grip the wooden arms of the chair. Her feet were already braced against the floor, ready to flee.

"Wh-what do you mean…?"

Tseng briefly looked away, and for just a moment she could have sworn he looked… almost nervous and unsure of himself. It was so out of character that she nearly forgot her own fear, studying him closely as his eyes gradually found their way back to hers. "I'm not used to having someone try so hard to help me," he finally said. "I don't quite know what to think, and I fear my reactions have not always been something I'm proud of."

Elena was struck speechless, staring at him in awe. That was not what she had expected him to say at all. She let his words sink in, his eyes intense as they searched hers for some kind of response. He started to look worried before she finally reached out and gripped his hand between both of hers, breaking into a broad smile of relief.

"It's okay," she told him, watching as his eyes widened just a little. "I understand that you're in pain and not feeling well, and that this whole situation really sucks. I don't expect you to be bright and cheerful about it."

I get to be the first person to take care of him like this, and he isn't mad at me! Gods, how I want to be the last…

As she held onto his hand, letting herself enjoy the warmth and imagine what it would feel like to have him really touch her, she nearly became lost in his eyes. They were so dark as to be nearly black, intense yet beautiful, and currently focused entirely on her. The butterflies came alive in her stomach and she swallowed hard. There was something in those eyes, a hint of emotion stirring just beneath the surface, powerful and forbidden. Elena had never wanted to kiss someone so badly in her life, gripping his hand more tightly between hers without realizing it. Tseng's expression was unreadable, but his eyes never left hers, and she could have sworn… Her breath caught in her throat and she dared to lean forward ever so slightly, hoping against hope that he felt the same powerful connection. And then he blinked and cleared his throat, abruptly turning his head away, the moment shattered.

Elena quickly released his hand and leaned back in the chair, blushing severely at the realization of what she'd been about to do. Her heart was racing in her chest, her entire body tingling with a mixture of nervousness, desire, and disappointment. Gods, what had come over her? The feeling had been so sudden, so powerful and amazing… so natural. It had felt so right, and for just a moment she swore he had wanted it, too.

No… you're kidding yourself, girl. You're seeing what you want to see…

"The medication?"

"…what?" Elena nearly choked, jumping as her head jerked up.

Tseng was watching her, his expression completely calm. Whatever she thought she had seen in those captivating eyes was gone. "We're supposed to be discussing the pros and cons of the experimental medication."

"Oh! Right, right…" Elena stumbled, her cheeks growing warm. All she really wanted was to leave the room and get some air, but she quickly reminded herself of her first priority. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him again, hoping her emotions did not show through. "I really don't understand why you're so opposed to it. It sounds like a chance to make sure you can make it back to work. I mean, what if you don't try it, and you can't ever…"

Tseng frowned, sighing quietly and looking down into his lap. "I realize that is a possibility… one I cannot allow to happen. But Professor Hojo and I… we do not see eye to eye on many things, and I do not trust him. He is a dangerous man, and his work is not true science."

"But he didn't develop this!"

"He has been with the company for far too long, Elena… and he has tainted the entire department."

"Doctor Welsh trusts this scientist, though… and you trust him, right? He saved your life, and he treated you before, when you got… shot was it?" Elena asked, hoping she might get a bit of information out of him.

Tseng nodded, leaning back into the pillows and wincing as he tried to get comfortable. It was so hard not to reach out and assist him, but after what had just happened she remained frozen in place. "There was an assassination attempt on Rufus' father about five years ago, during a speech he was giving right here on the base, actually. I was his body guard and spotted the shooter just as he fired. Thankfully I was able to jump in the way and knock him to the ground. I would have died if it had not happened so close to the medical center."

Elena committed the information to memory, another treasure to store close to her heart. But she was also horrified by the thought of what he'd done, and by the very idea that someone else's life was considered more important than his simply because of wealth and power. "Right before you jumped in front of the bullet, did you think about the possibility that you were about to die?" she asked, wondering if she would be able to do the same if the moment ever came.

Tseng shook his head, finally settling into a comfortable position and looking less pained. "There wasn't time to think of that. And besides, it was my job."

She took a moment to digest that, reminded once again of just how dedicated he was to his position. It was his life, a life that would never have room for her. A life he would be utterly lost and broken without. "You know you won't be happy if you can't be a Turk, Tseng…" she said quietly, allowing herself to steadily meet his eyes. "I think you need to try this medication. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't honestly believe it was in your best interest."

Tseng was quiet for a long time, lost in thought as he considered the situation. Elena let him be, allowing him to work it through. She closed her eyes and tried to will away the confusing and painful thoughts swirling wildly through her mind, her pulse pounding at her temples. She was exhausted and wished she had someone she trusted that she could talk to openly about her feelings for him. It would help so much just to get it all off her chest, and some advice would have been wonderful…

"You're right," Tseng said suddenly, turning his attention back to her and nodding confidently.

"I… what?" Elena said, blinking in surprise. "I am?"

A slow smile crossed his face, and he couldn't help but laugh quietly. She realized her expression must have registered her shock, and she felt herself begin to blush fiercely. Still, she was unable to help but smile back. The simple fact that she had amused him warmed her heart.

"If there is a chance this can help me heal faster and assure that I can return to duty, I have to take it," he said, instantly serious again. "It was foolish of me to allow my personal feelings to cloud my judgment. Thank you for reminding me of that."

"You're welcome," Elena said quietly, unable to help but think that his words were the most ironic thing she had ever heard in her life. If he only knew…

"Do you suppose I scared the doctor off?"

Elena grinned crookedly as she climbed to her feet. "Possibly… Let me see if I can track him down."

"Can you also track down something for me to drink while you're out there?" Tseng asked, still sounding a bit awkward at having to ask for everything he needed. He was so proud and independent, and it was obvious that being so helpless deeply hurt his pride.

"Of course. I'll be right back!"

As Elena stepped out into the hallway to complete both tasks, she was as conflicted and confused as she'd ever been. Her emotional state was getting worse instead of better, and she had no idea how to get a handle on it. She had never felt more alone, swallowing down on a lump in her throat as she approached one of the nurses to assure Tseng was brought his next round of pain medication along with the requested drink. She was relieved when she located Doctor Welsh a short distance down the corridor, desperate for the distraction.

((Author's Notes: Hey all! Well, I finally got my last chapter for Transformations (before the epilogue) written, so I was able to get myself back to business over here. So we got to see a bit of what Elena and Tseng think of each other and their chances of getting together… which is kind of sad and ironic. Too bad they don't just talk honestly at this point, because they are just torturing themselves and confusing each other. At least Tseng is getting a little boost to help with his healing. Not a miracle cure by any means, but it should help him recover faster than would be typical with such a serious injury. If the pill works, of course, and becoming an outpatient isn't a total disaster. What almost happened there at the end? Whoa, Elena! Wonder if that was almost mutual. ;)

Chapter Thirteen: Partners

((Author's Notes: Gonna put out a warning for a few racist jokes and comments made by a minor character. They do not reflect my personal beliefs in any way, shape or form. Now on with our story. ~ JenesisX ))

Tseng's feeding tube was soon removed, and he was more than happy to start drinking again instead of receiving his liquids through an intravenous line. He'd complained endlessly about how dry his mouth was and the soreness in his throat, and as soon as he was allowed he began drinking water as if afraid it would soon run out. Elena had laughed at him until he threw her a dark look, but he hadn't been quite able to suppress a bit of a smile a moment later. It was the first step toward his release, after all, and it had been effortless to achieve. The staff began serving him meals along with the rest of the patients the following morning, and it made Elena feel much more positive somehow. It was proof that his body was recovering, that he would be able to function normally again despite the horrific injuries he'd received… that eventually this nightmare would come to an end and things would be back to the way they were supposed to be.

Unfortunately, not everything was going to be as easy for him. The first attempt to get Tseng upright in bed caused him so much pain that Nurse Becky terminated the session, and Elena had no idea how he was going to be able to get to his feet and take those required ten steps across the room and back any time soon. He had not made a sound aside from a quiet grunt of discomfort, but his face displayed his agony so clearly she nearly burst into tears. His complexion had gone deathly pale, beads of sweat glistening on his brow, and she was certain he was going to pass out. The effort left him so uncomfortable that he'd been given a large dose of morphine after they'd settled him back into bed, and he'd slept for the rest of the day. Tseng remained pale and sullen the entire evening, refusing to speak to her even when she tried to distract him with small talk. She knew he was embarrassed and frustrated by the failure and desperately wanted to tell him he was asking too much of himself. But he put up the walls and bore his burden alone.

The tube beneath his nose was removed for short periods of time to see if he could maintain his breathing without it, and for the most part his oxygen level remained at an acceptable level. It began to drop a bit after a few hours, however, which remained a concern because of his damaged left lung. The nurses always replaced the tube at night when he slept, or the moment his breathing sounded labored or his oxygen levels dropped too low. When Elena sat in the chair beside his bed, she often heard what she could only describe as wheezing coming his chest, something she had rarely noticed when he was hooked to the tube around the clock. It concerned her greatly, though his color was good and he didn't complain of any difficulty breathing. But she knew him well enough to realize that he would not have complained even if he was having a problem, and was careful to keep a closer eye on him.

Tseng was frustrated but determined, making slow but steady progress toward outpatient status despite setbacks that would have discouraged most others. Reno had faxed a copy of Elena's new orders to Doctor Welsh in order to prove that he now had someone to stay with him, and though the doctor had updated Tseng's chart to make the required changes in his care he had not been by to see him yet. Elena knew Tseng and Reno were using his status within Shin-ra to more or less bully the poor man into doing what they wanted, but she was also convinced that her boss was going to go mad if he remained in the hospital much longer. The more time that passed, the more restless and irritable he became. Tseng didn't say much, but she could see that he was extremely unhappy. She was still frightened that it was too soon and something might happen to him when he was released, and terrified by the prospect of spending so much time alone with him in his quarters and being responsible for some of his care, but she was not going to let him down.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was just after sunrise as Elena made her way down the corridor toward Tseng's room after returning to her quarters to change and shower, finding it quiet and nearly abandoned. Visiting hours would not begin for several hours yet, but as a Turk she was exempt from the rules. None of the staff took notice of her by now, and in uniform she tended to blend in with the security guards. It was nice to be able to come and go as she wished, and to spend as much time as she pleased at Tseng's bedside without anyone saying a word.

She was proud that he was still unaware that she'd been spending her nights in his room. She had not intended to continue doing so once he was no longer in critical condition, but she had never been able to force herself to leave. Each night, she told herself it was time to end the ritual and return to her quarters. She was being ridiculous by now, she scolded herself, and if he found out what she was doing they were both going to be extremely uncomfortable. But she'd been unable to make herself go through with it, convinced that he needed her there just in case. She carried with her the irrational fear that something might happen during the night if she wasn't there, still able to picture him lying on the temple floor in an expanding pool of his own blood, his chest and abdomen laid open.

As she came within sight of Tseng's room, she saw the blond male nurse he had complained about a few times standing in the hallway a short distance away. He was accompanied by an overweight female assistant whose hair was dyed a deep purple and pulled into a ponytail on the top of her head. They had gathered a stack of breakfast trays from the surrounding rooms and were emptying the remains into a large bin. They were also actively carrying on a conversation, and not all that quietly since there weren't any visitors roaming the halls to overhear.

Elena's well-trained instincts kicked in and she slowed her pace, hanging back and moving closer to the wall. She might have been in a hospital, but she was still a Turk on assignment. Something about the tall blond's posture and the way he leaned down and in toward his companion, smirking and snickering, made her instantly suspicious. She reasoned that she was likely overreacting because she knew Tseng didn't care for this particular nurse, but she couldn't keep herself from creeping close enough to eavesdrop. She stuck to the wall as she moved in and paused to listen, careful to remain out of their line of sight. A quick glance around revealed that no one else was present in the corridor.

"I swear, every time we get one of those people in here, they expect special food. Well, this ain't Wutai, pal. Eat it or starve!"

"Yep," said the purple-haired girl, cleaning off another tray. At first she seemed to be agreeing just because it was the thing to do, but when she looked up she threw the blond an adoring smile that revealed her true motive. "I liked him better on the feeding tube," she added with a crooked grin.

"I liked him better unconscious!"

The girl burst into giggles, and Elena's mouth dropped open as she remained motionless against the wall. She could not believe what she was hearing, blinking rapidly to clear her head. No. No way. They couldn't possibly be standing there talking about…?

"It sucks that you keep getting stuck with him just because you're strong enough to lift him, Terry," the girl said, shaking her head with sympathy and placing a chubby hand on his forearm. Terry sighed dramatically and pursed his lips, then frowned thoughtfully as he stacked the empty trays together on a nearby cart.

"How do you suppose he got to be head of the Turks, anyway?" he asked, his companion offering an exaggerated shrug and baffled expression to demonstrate her complete befuddlement. "Shouldn't he be off worshipping spirits and doing karate in a temple somewhere?" Terry released a shrill cry and performed a very bad imitation of a martial arts attack, snickering madly at his own humor.

"Oh my gods, Terry! You are so bad!"

The two were so busy laughing that they didn't notice when Elena stormed up behind them, her eyes on fire. Purple-hair had just started to breathlessly offer insights into Tseng's most likely preferences for cuisine when she saw Elena standing behind Terry, her hazel eyes widening to comical proportions as she closed her mouth in mid sentence.

"Good morning," Elena nearly growled, glaring hateful daggers at her. The girl cowered and looked ready to run, moving to the side so that she was nearly hidden behind her coworker.

"Oh, hey!" Terry said, turning to face Elena with a genuine grin, no sign of embarrassment or discomfort on his face. He was a handsome young man, but at that moment he was the ugliest human being Elena had ever laid eyes upon. "We were just talking about how you Turks have a major chink in the top of your department. Hehehe."

Elena had never been more shocked in her life. It was one thing to stand a distance away, unnoticed, and listen to the racist remarks being leveled at her boss and partner. But it was quite another for this guy to look her right in the face and continue them. Terry was still grinning, his eyebrows raised, almost as if he expected her to, what? Laugh? Did he actually think she would find his comments funny, simply because she was a member of his race? She slowly met his eyes, her expression as cold as ice, the rage building inside her until she feared she might do something that would definitely interfere with Tseng's recovery… and possibly her job as well. Her fists curled into balls at her sides until her short nails dug painfully into her palms, and she grit her teeth until she feared they might break in her jaw.

"Excuse me," she finally snarled, shouldering her way past him with a final glare and practically stomping the rest of the distance to Tseng's room.

"Geez, lighten up. Got no freaking sense of humor!" Terry called after her, but she did not allow herself to turn around.

Elena entered the room and walked directly to her cot without even glancing in Tseng's direction, dropping onto it and closing her eyes. She finally realized how tight her chest had grown, and that she was physically shaking. Her heart was racing in her chest, and her hands were still curled into tight fists. She felt as if she had just come from a battle, but in actuality she had barely managed to speak a word. Remembering what Tseng had taught her, she focused on drawing each new breath to calm herself, clearing her mind until her body gradually relaxed.

She finally raised her head and looked across the room toward his bed, surprised that he was laying down with his eyes closed instead of staring at her. She doubted he was actually sleeping, though he didn't stir despite her dramatic entrance. Breakfast had been served only a short time before, however, and she'd expected him to be up and wondering what in the hell was wrong with her. The nurses were finally adjusting his hospital bed to a slight incline during the day so he was able to take his meals, careful to keep it as mild as possible because of the nature of his injuries. With so many healing broken ribs, staples and sutures, and muscles sliced through by the blade of a very sharp sword, it was extremely painful for him and best if he remained lying on his back. But he could not eat or drink in that position, yet another complication of rushing his release from the medical center. Elena frowned, wondering if he was not feeling well that morning, when an even more alarming thought slammed into her mind like a ton of bricks.

Oh my gods, did he hear what they were saying out in the hall?!

He had to have. Terry and the purple-haired nurse were working only about five feet from the door to his room, and they had not been speaking quietly. Tseng was a very experienced Turk, trained to make use of all of his senses to the highest degree, and he could do little more than lay in bed and listen to what was going on around him. There was no doubt in Elena's mind. He had to have overheard those remarks, at least in part. Her heart began to race anew as she stared at him with wide eyes, her vision quickly blurred by tears. She hoped with all her heart that he was asleep, that he'd been resting so soundly that morning that they decided not to disturb him for breakfast. But when she recalled the first comment she'd overheard, she knew that was not the case. And if Terry had been so willing to say such things within Tseng's earshot that morning, what were the chances he hadn't done so before?

Elena lifted her hand and angrily wiped at her eyes. She was well aware that racism towards Wutaiians had long existed, especially after the war, but she hadn't seen any real sign of it since leaving home to join the Turks. Tseng was the first Wutaiian she'd ever met, and the only one within their department. There were a handful of others working for Shin-ra, but not very many, and aside from Tseng the only other Wutaiian in a position of power within the company was Professor Hojo of the Science Department. She had never witnessed any of the Wutaiian employees being treated badly by their coworkers, and it made it easy for her to push the issue from her mind. She had never expected to be forced to deal with something so horrible inside the sterile walls of a hospital.

As she sat and watched Tseng rest, she could not understand how anyone could decide to hate another human being simply because of the way they looked. Terry didn't even know Tseng. He didn't know how calm and patient a teacher he was, or how he would have risked his life to save any of his Turks in an instant, without thought. He'd never witnessed the slow smile that graced his lips when he finally let his down his guard, or reveled in his quiet chuckle when Elena made a mistake he found particularly amusing. He would never appreciate the comfort of Tseng's smooth voice and endearing accent, or the intensity of dark eyes beneath long lashes. He didn't know the man he was judging, who never drank alcohol and preferred tea to coffee. How could he stand there and degrade someone he didn't know anything about aside from the fact that he was Wutaiian? He was supposed to be taking care of Tseng, a patient who was in a great deal of pain and struggling to recover from an injury that should have killed him. He suffered with a quiet strength and dignity and never complained, yet it earned him no respect from a caretaker who should have been filled with empathy and compassion. Elena could not understand it, and hoped she never would.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, hating herself for not telling Terry exactly what she thought of him. She should have slugged him and wiped the arrogant smirk right off his face! But what would that have solved? It wouldn't have changed his mind… People with uneducated, uninformed opinions rarely changed, something Elena knew well. Tseng wouldn't have approved of her doing something so rash anyway, and certainly would not have reacted that way himself. He was far too composed and dignified. But she could not help but feel that she should have done something. She should have at least spoken up in his defense. She'd instead been struck mute by shock and anger, then stormed off like an angry child about to throw a tantrum. The guilt made her stomach churn and she wished she hadn't eaten before returning to the medical center. She felt as if she'd failed him. Worse still, she'd become an unwitting accomplice to the abuse by her inaction. The fact that Tseng had likely heard how she'd failed to handle the matter only made it hurt ten times as much.

She sat and stared at Tseng's unmoving form for a long time, wallowing in her misery and unsure of what to do. When she looked at him, she saw a man she respected and admired more than anyone else she knew, someone who had proven it over the last few weeks that he had more strength than even she realized. He was a mystery she longed to solve, a mentor whose wisdom she desperately tried to absorb. His race had never affected what she thought about him. If anything, she was amazed by his seemingly endless vocabulary since it was obvious that Universal was his second language, and she had always adored his accent. She'd been immediately captivated by how exotically handsome he was, a man who was undeniably gorgeous on any continent. Tseng was intelligent, brave, and attractive. Who cared what race he belonged to? How could people be so blind? She had just begun to get herself worked up again when Nurse Becky entered the room with her usual bright smile. Elena stood and quickly forced one of her own, making her way to Tseng's bedside. Thankfully, the cheerful woman hadn't noticed her sour demeanor as she retrieved his chart from the pouch at the end of his bed.

"Good morning!" she said, her eyes already scanning the information. She'd had the previous two days off and was making sure to catch up on anything important about her favorite patient. "And how are we today?"

"Not bad, thanks," Elena replied lightly, glancing down and finding that Tseng's eyes were now wide open and focused upon them. She knew he'd been awake. Dammit. Did he pretend to sleep so often just to avoid talking to her? She felt a pang of fear in the pit of her stomach, unsure of whether or not she wanted to know the answer.

"I'm fine," Tseng stated simply, just as he always did. It didn't matter how much he was hurting, or what might be bothering him. Nurse Becky always had to pry to get any further information out of him, or Elena would finally grow frustrated and tell her what she'd observed over his objections.

"Well, it says here that's you're drinking like a fish, which is great!" Becky said as she examined his chart. "But you're still not eating very well… How come, honey?"

Elena mentally snapped to attention, Terry's words in the corridor once again running through her mind. Even though she was almost always present when Tseng's meals were served, she hadn't paid much attention while he was eating the soft foods they'd started him on. She thought it would have been rude and made him uncomfortable to sit and watch while he ate, so she'd always made herself busy reading or checking her text messages. She'd assumed everything was fine until now.

Tseng's face colored a bit and he looked away, sighing under his breath. "I don't have much of an appetite yet," he said. He attempted to pull himself up against the pillows behind him, and Nurse Becky quickly reached out to assist him. Elena fought back an urge to do the same, but she was so afraid she would hurt him that she held back. After helping him get comfortable, Becky adjusted the incline of his bed to allow him to sit up slightly. Tseng winced and looked pained for a moment, but he gradually relaxed into the new position. "I'm trying."

"It'll take a while for your system to get used to eating normally again," Becky said with a nod, and Elena felt a bit less tense when she accepted his explanation. "As you eat little by little, your appetite will come back. You just need to work at it a bit at a time. Make sure you're eating something every meal, though, whether you feel hungry or not. You've already lost a good deal of weight since you've been here, and you need to show that you're able to handle solid food or the doctor is going to want to put the feeding tube back in place."

"All right."

"How has your breathing been so far this morning?"

"Fine."

Elena almost rolled her eyes at his short, clipped answers, but at the same time she wanted to smile. He was only being himself, after all, and gods, she lov- She shook her head, frowning as she stood at his bedside. As much as it hurt, she knew she needed to get control of herself and stop thinking that way. Her feelings for Tseng had been developing for a long time, but his injury and the thought that she might lose him had made them so much stronger. And now that she had spent so much time by his side, watching him struggle and fight to survive, she knew with certainty that she had irretrievably lost her heart to him. But what could she do about it? Absolutely nothing! It didn't matter how she felt about him, how strong the connection was or how much she wanted to be the one who stood by his side for the rest of his life. He was her boss, and his job was what came first in his life. He would always remain distant and unobtainable. Besides, what did she really know about him when she thought about it? Elena admitted with a quiet sigh of resignation that what she did know was enough. Too much… She loved him, wanted him, but was damned to never say a word. Gods, how was she going to survive like this…?

She watched as if miles away as Nurse Becky expertly removed Tseng's oxygen tube and looked over the various monitors still attached to his body. She next gave him his pain medication, extra relief he still required throughout the day in addition to the continuous drip given through his intravenous line with his other medications. Elena knew he hated the fact that he still needed it and thought it made him appear weak, but even with it he was in a lot of pain. Yet he never made a sound, and winced only occasionally when his position was being changed or he attempted to shift his weight. His pride simply would not allow it. It only made her want to comfort him more, the burning ache in her chest increasing dangerously with each passing day. And now she was about to spend weeks alone with him in his quarters… What had she been thinking?

"If you start wheezing I want you to call me so I can put this back, do you hear me?" Nurse Becky was saying, hovering over Tseng with the oxygen tube held up in one hand and the other poised on her hip. Elena would have laughed at her stern, motherly tone if she hadn't been so distracted. She had never heard anyone speak to him that way before. "I think this whole outpatient thing is way too soon, and that you Turks are always overdoing it. You managed to survive all this, and now you're determined to kill yourself trying to get out of here!" Becky shook her head, a scolding but fond smile on her face. "Is my hospitality really so bad?"

To Elena's surprise, Tseng actually smiled back, that slight little smile that lifted the left side of his mouth any time something amused him. There was a brief sparkle in his eyes, and it made goose bumps rise on her arms beneath her blazer even though it was not directed at her. "No offense meant… but if I'm going to lay around like this I'd rather do so in my quarters."

"Oh, I understand that," Becky said, checking to be sure his intravenous lines were clear. "And I'm sure you'll be much happier to have Elena over there as your head caretaker instead of me." Becky winked down at Tseng as she gently picked up his left arm and made sure everything was still firmly held in place, and in that moment Elena wished for death. At the very least, she hoped the floor beneath her feet was poorly reinforced and would choose that moment to buckle. She managed not to gasp, just barely, as her face grew unbearably hot. Tseng arched an eyebrow but said nothing, his expression otherwise unreadable. Becky chuckled to herself, replacing his chart at the foot of the bed and grinning mischievously as her eyes briefly met Elena's. "All right then! I'll be back this afternoon, and we'll see if we can't get you sitting up this time," she said, waving as she headed out the door.

An uncomfortable silence descended as Elena and Tseng were left alone together, though he looked completely calm and relaxed. His near lack of reaction to Becky's comment worried her more than if he'd turned several shades of red and voiced a firm protest. It was almost as if he didn't understand what she was implying… and maybe he didn't. Elena had no reason to believe he shared her feelings, after all. A stray comment, the lingering touch of his hand, a faraway look in his eyes when he thought she wasn't watching… None of that really meant anything, and she was probably reading into it desperately hoping to see something that wasn't there. Elena finally dropped into the chair at his bedside with a quiet sigh, forcing herself to clear her mind and focus on her assignment.

"Tseng?"

"Yes?" He turned to face her, blinking as if he'd been deep in thought.

"Is everything all right? No, uh… problems or anything while I was gone?"

She hated to ask, unsure of what she would say if he told her he had overheard the nurses' comments in the hallway that morning, but she needed to know. She couldn't get their cruel remarks out of her mind… or push away the guilt she felt for failing to act. She felt even more guilty for the relief she felt when he only shook his head in response. But there was a brief flash of recognition in his dark eyes before he quickly looked away that made her wonder…

"Everything has been the same."

Elena debated telling him what she'd overheard, or asking him directly if he was having problems with any of the staff. Maybe there was more to his strong desire to leave the medical center than he was saying. But she had no idea how to approach such a sensitive subject, especially with someone she absolutely did not want to offend. They needed to work as a team, now more than ever, and she couldn't risk any further awkwardness between them. And if he really hadn't heard anything, she didn't want to upset him unnecessarily by telling him what she'd witnessed. It was the last thing he needed while he fought to recover. He needed to heal in peace, and it was her job to protect that for him… At least that was what she told herself as she rationalized her decision not to discuss the matter further. She would remain alert for any other suspicious incidents, and definitely keep a close eye on Terry and his friend any time they were near Tseng's room. Aside from that, Elena feared anything she said or did would cause more harm than good. She paused and bit her lip, still feeling like a coward as she changed the subject to something else that was troubling her.

"I didn't know you were having a problem eating. Is something wrong?"

Tseng briefly closed his eyes, something he often did when asked a question he'd been dreading and didn't want to answer. It was frequently followed up by a hand raised to squeeze the bridge of his nose, a heavy sigh, or his eyes lifted to the heavens as he searched for patience. This time, he simply opened them again and met her worried gaze, and for a moment he looked a bit embarrassed before he regained control of his expression.

"Have you seen what they serve here?" he asked simply.

"What?" she replied, his reply not what she'd been expecting.

"The 'food.' It's… I can't even…" He shook his head, and she could have sworn his complexion began to take on a greenish tint.

"Oh!" she exclaimed when realization struck, laughing until she saw how deadly serious he was. "That bad, huh?"

Tseng nodded miserably, frowning. "I am sure by now you've noticed that I am somewhat particular about what I will eat?"

Elena nodded thoughtfully, her mind flashing back to the many times they had taken their meals together. They were partners, after all, and she had accompanied him on almost all of his missions since she was hired aside from the highly classified ones and his body guarding duties for the President. They had also eaten together a number of times in the cafeteria at Headquarters while discussing work matters, and she had noticed that he seemed to stick to a small number of the same food items, almost all of them Wutaiian. She'd thought little of it, because she'd assumed he spent the majority of his life in his native country, so it was only natural that he would prefer to eat what was familiar to him. He did eat other things, and she knew he had a weakness for plain pizza, but now that she thought about it… he seemed to limit himself to the same few Wutaiian dishes, too, and when they were forced to make due with field rations she began to worry he might starve before he finally forced himself to choke them down. A slow smile of recognition spread across her face as she studied him, realizing just how wrong the idiots in the hallway had been. He wasn't expecting special food because of his ethnicity. It was far less dramatic than that: Tseng was simply a picky eater.

"Would you like me to go and get you something edible before you starve to death?" Elena offered, grinning crookedly.

Tseng tilted his head a bit. "And then what? Are you going to do that every time they bring me something vile? Which has been… every meal thus far."

"Sure, why not?"

"That's against the rules, you know."

"The rules have to be 'creatively interpreted' sometimes in order to complete an assignment. A very wise man taught me that once… but I can't quite remember his name." She was pleased when a smirk finally broke free despite Tseng's efforts to hide it.

"It's not going to pacify my tormentors when they see I'm still refusing to consume their poison," he said dryly, but from the sparkle in his eyes she knew he was enjoying the banter.

"Oh come on, Tseng. We're Turks! I'm sure we can find a way to fool a bunch of nurses," she laughed. He raised an eyebrow and seemed to be trying not to smile again, or maybe to avoid laughing. She cringed inwardly, remembering how disastrous that had been for him last time. Even still, her heart soared at how relaxed their conversation had become, how easily they'd fallen back into the camaraderie they'd come to share as partners more and more frequently as the months had passed. It was easy to forget her intense feelings for him at moments like this, and to believe that at the very least he liked and respected her as a fellow Turk instead of the nervous, fumbling rookie she'd once been.

"Fine. If you're sure it's not too much trouble," he gave in, though she knew from the way her offer had lit up his face that he was never planning to refuse.

"Of course not," she said too quickly, hopping to her feet like an eager child about to run an errand for a favorite teacher. "What would you like?"

He paused for a moment, his expression thoughtful, then finally looked up and gave her that soft smile that never failed to make her weak in the knees. The worst part was that he didn't even realize it. "Surprise me. You know what I like by now."

There it was again. Proof of the intimacy that had grown between them over the last year. It was something that developed between any partners, she quickly scolded herself as she swallowed hard and managed to return the smile. Surely Reno knew all of Rude's favorite foods, and she was certain Rude could recite all of the redhead's most common phrases while imitating his mannerisms to perfection. You couldn't possibly spend so much time with someone, and be responsible for their life day in and day out, and not develop a very close bond. If you didn't end up knowing a little too much about them, you had failed as their partner. But with Tseng, it felt like so much more. He was so intensely private and guarded that every little fact and quirk she learned felt like his deepest secret. She treasured each new piece of information no matter how insignificant, unable to help the jealously she felt when Reno said something about him that she hadn't known. She knew he'd known Tseng for much longer, and that the two had a friendship she wasn't entirely certain about, but she couldn't help but feel resentful anyway. She knew she had to get a grip on those feelings soon. If Tseng was able to return to his position- No, when! - she knew she would not be training with him for much longer, and her monopoly on so much of his time would come to an end. When that happened, she had to-

"Elena?"

She blinked, a blush instantly creeping up her neck until her face grew hot. Shit. She'd been standing there staring down at him like an idiot. "Huh? Oh! Sorry. Right. Let me run and see what I can find, and I'll be right back. Stay right th- Oh, gods, I am such an idiot! Of course you're going to sta- I'll… I'll see you in a bit!" Then she turned and hurried from the room before she could embarrass herself any further. She could have sworn she heard him chuckling quietly at her back.

Wow. If you were trying to impress him with your brains I think you just failed. At least he's seen proof that you do actually have them. Thank the gods for aptitude testing…

Elena was so flustered that she almost didn't notice Nurse Becky at the nurses' station just before the elevator, but the moment she did she stopped dead in her tracks. She stood as if frozen to the spot, suddenly struck by a bolt of inspiration. Her mind began to race as she watched the older woman typing at her computer, and within seconds she knew exactly what she had to do.

Maybe my brain decided to show up today after all.

She approached the station as casually as she could manage, waiting at the counter for the head nurse to notice her. When she did, Nurse Becky grinned widely, but Elena offered only a reserved half smile. She allowed herself to glance from side to side as if slightly paranoid, trying to recall all the lessons her fellow Turks had taught her about acting the part in any given situation.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Becky asked, coming around from behind the counter to join her.

"I need to speak with you privately," Elena said quietly in her business tone. It was calm and serious without being harsh the way so many of her male colleagues were, something that gave her an advantage when addressing civilians. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course, of course," Becky said, her eyes widening with concern. "My office is right over there." She pointed just down the hallway and immediately started to head in that direction, her pace surprisingly brisk for someone so short and stocky. Elena kept up easily, and soon they were behind closed doors in a small, tastefully decorated corner office. There was nothing but a cheap metal desk with a computer and telephone on it, a rolling chair, and a few pictures Elena didn't bother to look at on the walls.

"This won't take long," Elena said, both women remaining on their feet just inside the door. Becky reached out and locked it to be sure they weren't interrupted. "I'm sorry to take you away from your work, but this is highly confidential."

"Oooh…" Becky's eyes grew even wider than before, and Elena noticed the way they instantly dropped to the gun holstered at her hip. She finally smiled and shook her head, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on the nurse's shoulder.

"Relax, it's nothing like that," she said, realizing that she was terrifying the poor woman. Her anger over the situation must have shown through in her expression and posture, and in a way she was proud. She'd been mocked endlessly by many of the other Turks as unintimidating and too small for the work, but apparently that was not always the case. Although she was only scaring one overweight, middle aged nurse…

"Did I do something wrong?" Becky asked in a hushed tone. "I've been trying my best to give Tseng the best care possible, and-"

"No, no, it's not you at all!" Elena quickly interrupted, shocked that she would interpret things in such a way. She started to feel guilty and almost changed her mind about the entire thing, but quickly scolded herself and continued. "You have been amazing, and I am so grateful you were assigned to be his head nurse. I'm sorry I haven't thanked you enough for everything you've done. I've just been… so distracted by all of this, and so worried…"

"I understand, honey," Becky said, smiling sympathetically. "I know it's hard. My brother was shot in the Midgar slums doing something stupid a few years ago, and he almost died. I'm a nurse for goodness sake, and I still went to pieces seeing him that way."

Elena nodded awkwardly, but quickly reminded herself of the reason she had come. She was here as a Turk on assignment, and she had a job to do. This was not the time to let her emotions get in the way, although it felt good to finally let Nurse Becky know how much she appreciated her. "I need to speak with you concerning two of your nurses. Their security clearances haven't checked out with our people, and they can't be allowed any further contact with Tseng."

"Oh my! Are… are they criminals or something?!"

"It's probably nothing serious, but I don't have all the information yet. It was leaked to me this morning by a contact of mine, which is why I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. This is coming to me unofficially before my current supervisor officially informs me, so I need to keep it very quiet."

Elena felt terrible for lying to Nurse Becky after everything she'd done for Tseng, hoping that her sudden half-assed story was believable. Becky had no idea how the Turks or Shin-ra functioned, after all… and Elena knew she looked sweet and innocent. It was normally seen as a hindrance in her line of work, but sometimes, it was quite useful.

"Okay… What do I need to do?"

"Well, here's what's going to happen. If these nurses… there are two of them… continue to have access to Tseng by the time this all goes through the official channels, Shin-ra will end up sending orders here to the hospital that they be barred from this floor until he's released due to security reasons. It'll be worded in such a way that it makes them sound dangerous and untrustworthy, and it could cost them their jobs at the hospital since it's located here on a Shin-ra military base. But since it's very possible they've done nothing seriously wrong, and it all might come down to something silly like an old shoplifting charge when they were teenagers or unpaid speeding tickets back in Midgar, I thought I'd give you the chance to move them first and potentially avoid the whole mess. I know you're understaffed, and that you can probably make a judgment about them once I tell you who they are…"

Elena had been sorely temped to tell Becky that she needed to fire both of the nurses immediately because they were too great of a risk to Tseng's safety, but she knew she would have a lot of explaining to do if she was found out. This tale did no permanent damage, and still got the two of them away from Tseng for the rest of his stay. And if she ended up disciplined later on, so be it. If it spared him from having to listen to any further comments like the ones she'd overheard that morning, it would be more than worth it.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Nurse Becky said, still looking stunned by what she was hearing. Elena felt herself relax once she realized her story had been believed. She didn't feel any less guilty, but that wasn't what mattered. "I appreciate the chance to handle this before their reputations are ruined, or I end up losing any more staff. Who are we talking about?"

"Unfortunately I don't know the name of the girl… My contact was only able to overhear parts of the conversation about this matter," Elena said, hoping her face did not betray the lie. "She's young, heavyset, and has… purple hair? Does that help at all?"

"Oh no… That's poor Amanda! That girl…" Becky shook her head sadly, pursing her lips. "She has a rough background, and she tries so hard. But trouble just seems to follow her. Or maybe I should say she seems to follow it. I'll move her right away! She's not a bad girl. She just needs guidance, and she's been an excellent nurse so far. This is only her first year."

Elena nodded, feeling an unexpected sympathy for her. She could understand trying to rise above difficult circumstance and prove yourself in a new job. But it didn't excuse what she'd done that morning, either. Maybe she'd find a strong role model the way Elena had and get her life on track soon.

"When you reassign her, she can't work with the other nurse on this list any more," Elena said with a sudden burst of inspiration. If Amanda needed a good role model and tended to be a follower, the last thing she needed was more exposure to an arrogant racist. When Becky raised an eyebrow, Elena simply shrugged. "It's a standard precaution."

"Not a problem," Becky said with a nod. "It's a big hospital, after all!"

"Okay. And the other nurse is named Terry, a tall blond man from what I'm told. I think I've seen him working with Tseng fairly often, in fact," Elena said, careful to keep her voice and expression neutral. "That's too bad..."

Becky scowled, her warm brown eyes darkening. Elena watched her closely, surprised by her reaction. She had never seen the other woman look so unhappy before. She desperately hoped she was not beginning to suspect anything was amiss.

"Terry," she spat, shaking her head rapidly from side to side. "Now that one…"

"Is there a problem with him?" Elena asked as innocently as possible.

"There have been… a number of patient complaints," Becky hesitantly admitted, looking down at her white shoes for a moment. "I've written him up repeatedly, but my boss doesn't want to let him go. We're short handed, and…" She shook her head again and sighed.

"I see…"

"Have you had a problem with him, honey?"

Elena froze when Becky met her eyes, unprepared for the question. This wasn't supposed to be about her! She was there as a Turk, and their meeting was just about finished. Her ruse had been a success, and Terry and Amanda were going to be removed from Tseng's floor. He wouldn't have to hear their remarks any longer, and she wouldn't have to look at them and remember that morning. She'd been careful not to let her emotions show throughout the conversation, but suddenly her heart was in her throat.

"I…"

Becky stepped forward and placed a motherly hand on her shoulder, her eyes so warm and supportive that Elena almost blurted out everything at once in one long, rambling admission. But she wasn't a green rookie any more and she bit it back, swallowing hard and keeping her expression neutral.

"If you have, and you write it down as an anonymous family member complaint," Becky said quietly, lightly squeezing her shoulder, "it should be the final nail in his coffin. He's on probation right now, and just got another complaint three days ago for cursing at a patient. He's a very good nurse, but his bedside manner goes against everything I believe in. So please… if he's done something to you or Tseng, do yourself and every other patient here a favor. I'm half tempted not to move him and see what happens with this security issue, but that wouldn't be fair of me…"

Elena nodded mutely as Becky removed her hand and walked around her desk to sit at her computer, turning on the machine and waiting for it to boot. Why did Becky seem to suspect that something had happened? Did she simply know Terry that well, or had Elena given herself away? More importantly, should she take the opportunity and write down what she'd overheard that morning, or leave well enough alone?

"Thank you," Elena said abruptly, turning on her heel and leaving the office without another word. She had a lot to think about as she boarded the elevator and left the medical center to hunt down a restaurant where she could place a take out order that would be to Tseng's liking. Thankfully she remembered seeing a menu on his kitchen counter the day she'd been sent to retrieve some of his belongings and was fairly sure she knew where the restaurant was located along Main Street. She was confused about so many things and still convinced she was failing him, but she could at least make sure he got a decent meal. It wasn't quite the same as wrapping her arms around him and whispering her love in his ear, but for now it was all she could do.

((Thanks for being my most loyal and supportive readers right now, the ones I can always count on for reviews… and really nice, detailed ones at that. You all are the best, and I hope I'm living up to my half of the bargain! ~ JenesisX ))