There is this thing about mistakes; you cannot run from them. Once you make them, they can't leave you, and you can't leave them.

When you are younger you feel like anything is possible, and as you get older you start to realize that those possibilities are slowly slipping away. Embarrassment settles in and you are left with nothing but the white lies belittled in your child hood. The hardest part of mistakes is not forgetting them and accepting them, in fact that is the easiest part besides the mistake itself. What really sucks about mistakes is that they follow you like a lost puppy or a trail of kids. They seek to destroy your life and prejudice, torment, it settles and you begin to crack from the inside out. The thing Is; when you make the mistake, it is made, you can't change it, so why is it constantly brought up? Pushing for you to relive it and feel helpless to comeback because it is your mistake in the first place right?

I woke up feeling better than I had in a long time. It was warm and I was guarded by a familiar scent. The events last night hit me slowly and I had kept my eyes closed; completely okay with the way I was at this moment. The kiss, the tears, and the hug; they all formed slowly in my brain before my eyes fluttered and I realized I was in the arms of Sebastian Smythe.

I tried to roll over as swiftly as possibly insuring that Sebastian remained asleep. Looking back and watching the increase in his chest, I smiled I think. I smiled at that very moment, a genuine smile that I used last 4 years ago. It was something I had mentally reserved only for him. I mean don't get me wrong, I smiled a lot to be honest; smiled at Rachel, Finn, Mercedes, my dad and just about everyone who had a reserved seat in glee club. But the smile I wore on my face right now, was only shown in pure happiness. Happiness only found with my mother and in Sebastian.

I walked slowly over to the bathroom, hanging tightly on the wall to remain steady and upright. I had his bathroom memorized since the last time I had been here, simply because of the door. It was a different color from the rest of the room and had a different nob from the rest of the house. The nob was to be pulled down, not twisted, and the door held an odd color, almost as if it were translucent but you could not see through it at all. I walked through the door and positioned myself in front of the toilet seat; pulling my hair in front of my face. I had grown it out unintentionally and had never taken the initiative to cut it. It rested at my shoulders and moved in a waved pattern. My bangs hung sloppily over my forehead and I spent most of the day pushing it out of the way. I would not necessarily say I minded it though; my hair was soft and I had found comfort in touching it.

I shoved my index and middle finger harshly down my throat closing my eyes as the colored chunks of goo spilled from my body. No, I don't like throw up, I have never liked it, and had I never meant Blaine I would have never purposefully made a habit of it. I took the back of my boney wrist and wiped my mouth opening my eyes and getting off the floor.

I took in my appearance slowly, starting from the oversized t-shirt that I had not remembered dressing in and working my way up to the pale skin surrounding me. My eyes were dark and I remembered I did not have the concealer to cover it. My hair fell from my head when I raked my fingers through it; not in heaps or in a 'you're soon going to be bald' fashion, but in a way I did not enjoy, and I could have done without.

I sighed loudly and raised my shirt to see bruises scattered across my torso and a large bandage rested across my chest. I chuckled remembering who gave that to me, or remembering the look of the person that gave it to me. Old, very old, possibly 50's, I didn't bother asking, and a fetish I didn't bother repeating. I moved down to my thighs, tracing the mark of fingerprints, those I knew were Blaine's and my smile broke and I just looked at it for a few minutes.

"You still scream you know." Sebastian scared the shit out of me and caused me to drop my shirt back and flinch. But just like that he had left and I once again sighed and walked out of the bathroom.

I removed the t-shirt that I was guessing was Sebastian's due to the Dalton logo. I redressed in the sweats I suited coming here and picked up my phone from off the camera. I was pretty sure my keys were down stairs, so I'd just run and get those and leave.

I took my time getting down the steps; in not rush to be in the same house, in the same town, in the same neighborhood as my house, because I seemed to be stapled to that place and I enjoyed being elsewhere. Eyeing my keys quickly, I grab them not looking back at Sebastian and head for the door but once again I was stopped by the taller male.

"Eat." He states simply looking down at me even though I had not returned the gaze. "No isn't a choice Hummel."

I could say no, I very much could say no. But staying in Sebastian's company for a little while longer wasn't something I really wanted to say no to. So without thinking I took my space at the breakfast bar and folded my hands on the counter top.

"I can't cook, so cereal?"

"Yeah sure." I breathed out.

He nodded and turned and began making the cereal. "Tell me."

My eyes snapped up, not really expecting him to say anything else. "What do you want to know?"

"Are you a prostitute?"

Kurt had remained silent and showed no signs of anything in his face really. It was a talent he had picked up over the years. "Why do you ask."

His teeth grit and I could practically feel the tension. "Blaine." He spat the word. "Texted you last night, seems as though you have a new client on Friday."

"You shouldn't have read my texts." I shrugged.

"You're still not denying you're a prostitute."

"Because I'm not a prostitute. I don't make any money from having sex with guys, I just have sex with them."

"So let me guess… Blaine gets it doesn't he." Placing the cereal in front of me.

"Can we not talk about this?"

"No, Kurt we can't not talk about this."

"You know what I'm not hungry I think I am going to go."

"Kurt, you're really running away from it."

"Yes I am actually." I move to get up. "Thank you for letting me stay here for the night and not beating me up for kissing you." I turn and move towards the door.

"You see Kurt, even after I can tell you want so hard to be mad at me you still thank me for letting you be here. You're better than him Kurt; honestly you're better than me. And I just sit here and watch you destroy yourself every goddamn time I see you and you have no idea how much that kills me."

"I'm sorry."

He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. "Don't apologize! Stop apologizing when it fixes nothing. Blaine did this to you. You let him break you Kurt, and now you still can't put yourself back together."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't, but I am not going to chase after you, Kurt. I want you to be safe and happy but you have to want to do it yourself." He walks so he is closer to me. "Do not go back to Blaine."

I began to shake my head quickly repeating no over and over. "I love him. Like Romeo and Juliet. You can't tell us differently."

"Kurt, I've been meaning to tell you how proud I am." Blaine smiled at me from where I lay, holding tightly one his torso. "For that I want to repay you."

I looked up, resting my chin on his chest. "With what?"

"I'm going to fuck you, but this time you get to choose."

"Okay." I swallowed.

"Lube, or I bottom."

"Lube."

OK, HIYA. I know it's Monday, but I wasn't up for doing anything this weekend including homework, writing, or editing videos. I kinda had a really bad night out with my friends so the story was semi connected to that. I have a crap load of story development to write out so I should prob do that soon. But most likely I won't because I am a lazy American with no life other than fangirling.

This was a bit short but then again I gave you 3000 words on my last chapter so I figured I needed a break.

If I am not already throwing feels in your face I should allow you to know between the 9th and 11th chapter kurtbastian will begin to blossom and be perf as usual. Kurt has a long road of depression ahead of him though but I want recovery to begin within the next 5-10 chapters.

Ok, I will stop rambling to you and leave you all to your wonderful day, if you guys can vote yet, I hope you get out to the ballets and vote.

Adios- Radhadder