handcuffs
"Very funny. Now take them off."
"Okay, just let me grab the… shit."
"What? You're joking, right? Merlin, if I'm stuck handcuffed to you tonight, Guinevere is going to kill us both!"
"It was right here!" Merlin exclaims, standing and flinging sofa cushions one-handed, searching for the key.
"You're supposed to be an escape artist, Merlin, can't you get out of a handcuff?" Arthur asks sarcastically.
"Shut up and help me, Clotpole," Merlin snaps, yanking the hand that is tethered to Arthur.
"Ow!"
"Baby."
"Hey, unlike you, I'm not accustomed to the feel of cold steel around my wrists," Arthur says, dropping to his knees to look under the couch.
"So you and Gwen haven't ever…?"
Arthur glares at Merlin. "Not with handcuffs," he says levelly. "Silk scarves, neckties…"
"All right, I'm sorry I asked," Merlin interrupts. "Grab the other end of the couch."
"…a pair of her stockings once… oh, and then there was that time…"
"OKAY, I don't need the details of your depraved sex life. Poor Gwen," he says.
"Poor Gwen? It's usually her idea!"
Merlin stops and stares. "No. Can't process that information. As far as I am concerned, you are the degenerate."
Arthur laughs and turns to the coffee table now, shifting magazines and papers.
"Wait is that it?" Merlin says, moving suddenly, yanking Arthur with him. Arthur crashes into the coffee table, landing on top of it. The legs give way and Arthur finds himself atop a pile of splintered wood, bewildered.
"No. It's a key, but not the right one," Merlin says, setting it on an endtable. He looks at Arthur and helps him to his feet. "Freya's going to be pissed."
"Yeah, speaking of, next time you can practice your tricks with her. My career as your beautiful assistant has been both short and tragic, and if you do not get this damn cuff off of my wrist very soon I am going to strangle you."
"All right, all right, no need to get violent. Why is tonight so important, anyway?"
"It's our anniversary," Arthur says. "You should know that, Merlin, you were the best man."
"Is it the twelfth?" Merlin looks at his watch. "Oh, so it is. Happy anniversary."
"Merlin. Focus."
"Right. Key." Merlin's mobile phone starts ringing, and he digs into his jeans pocket. He pulls the phone out and the key drops to the floor, withdrawn from his pocket with the mobile.
"Oh, I put it in my pocket!" Merlin exclaims.
"MERLIN!" Arthur roars just as Merlin answers his phone. Arthur bends to get the key, yanking Merlin down with him.
"Hi, Mum," Merlin answers his phone, casual as can be, while Arthur fumes. "Oh, nothing, just hanging around with Arthur, practicing a new trick…"