Intelligence; I don't really like that word. I mean who is to say that so called intelligence has to make you a brain surgeon or Einstein? I can point out any color of any fabric by memory; but I still can't quite get AP calc. Am I stupid; I hope not?
I just don't feel as though someone's mental capacity should be tested in a book. We as humans aren't set up to be a curriculum or a standard for the rest of mankind. Who is to say there is a Jesus, who is to say bread is full of carbs? I can't prove any of those things, and maybe the next person can but why the hell am I listening to them? It's because we as humans need answers, we need a stereotype to set upon another or a rate in which one should be picking up information so others can be looked down upon. We as humans are the smartest breed in the world, but still can't look past our own history to substitute ignorance.
"Kurt?" I heard it; yes. Was I reacting to it; no. Whoever it was could wait because I was fucking sleeping and there was only one person who could actually get me out of bed when I was sleeping and that was Blaine. Usually it was because if I didn't listen to him it would be followed by a beating; but I think it had more to do with my unhealthy obsession to impress my boyfriend, because that's what we were; I think.
"Kurt." I shuffled around a bit, slightly opening my eyes, still not ready to let the light surface into them. That's when I saw the 5'8 boy looking down upon me with a hurting smile constantly falling in rising on his face.
I instantly jumped up; and no it wasn't because I was scared because what the hell is he going to do to me in a hospital, but more importantly what the hell was he doing here? "Blaine? What the hell."
"I had to wait until you parents and warblers left before I could come back." And awkward laugh escaped his lips.
"For what?"
"Kurt just… just be quiet for a second." He smiled brighter. "I figure I should somewhat explain myself… You remember when I first hit you? 'member how you didn't talk to me for 9 and a half days, and the one time you did it was to tell me how you weren't going to ever let anyone who's supposed to love you put their hands on you because you get enough of it already?" Blaine was crying, actual tears, like actual real tears. "It took 328 dollars and some really good car sex to make you forgive me."
I chuckled at the memory that felt so distant; Blaine shifter uncomfortably before continuing. "I thought that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life by the way, I swear you're such a chick sometimes… but I loved that about you. Then I hit you again, and I left that bruise on your face and you covered for me, remember that?" He shook his head in dismay. "Kurt you let me do just about anything I wanted to do after that, and it's not that I stopped loving you because I swear to god if anyone ever touched you who I didn't let I would kill them, but that's the most hypocritical thing I have ever said because I do that every day of your life. I just wanted the control, and no one really understands it till they have someone dropping to their knees just for you. I took complete advantage of you and I hate myself every day for it but it's like no matter what I do to you, you just let me, and it's not an excuse but, I just, I don't know."
Now I was crying, and I was crying like hell for absolutely no reason, maybe it was because today and yesterday were the first time I actually had something to cry about, to cry for… myself, no one else. "Blaine I swear I won't leave you."
"I know." He smiled. "But I can't keep doing this to you Kurt, I can't hurt you anymore, I can't be the reason you look like skin and bones, or that you've had sex with more guys than a playboy bunny."
"We can fix each other."
"Kurt, we're toxic."
I was shaking my head and crying and screaming and trembling, "I'll lose more weight, I'll get more money just please; I have nothing except you."
"No Kurt," Once again shaking his head. "You had everything, I just took that away from you." So he picked up his leather bag and left before I could fit in another word, and only one thing replayed throughout my mind.
Kurt, we're toxic
Kurt, were toxic
Kurt, we're toxic
Kurt, we're toxic
3rd POV
To say Kurt was regretting this was an understatement, he looked down at the scale, a both anxious and nervous look on his face. He stepped onto it hesitantly before getting on all together.
83.7 pounds; god dammit, water weight from the IV had brought him up 4 pounds.
He sighed and pulled his hair from off his face and releasing what he could rid of the contents in his stomach before wiping his mouth and looking in the large bathroom mirror. Any 18 year old boy shouldn't be 83.7 pound… not even elves, 10 years ago he would never have worn gray over-sized sweat shirts as a daily fashion trend, or purposefully injure his flawless porcelain skin, so what changed?
"What the hell did you do to yourself?" He wasn't asking, he wasn't sad; he was infuriated with everything, and did not think much by it when he picked up the iPod doc and smashed it into his window.
He slid down the bathroom door, knees pressed against his chest, and face planted in his hands. He actually looked so pitiful but no one could see him so who cares. He reached over to the drawer attached to his sink and pulled out what he was looking for; his razor.
Kurt hadn't cut in 3 weeks, it had been one of those things that he only did when he was at his lowest, but that didn't stop him from pulling it across his wrist this time, cutting for every son of a bitch who wronged him. One for the man who changed him, two for the man who left him, and three for himself for letting it affect him.
He didn't move to get up clean or anything because no one would be home for a long time and what was actually waiting for him outside those doors? He closed his eyes but was brutally interrupted by the vibration in his pocket.
Sebastian 7:06
Get dressed princess, how do you feel about a road trip?
Kurt didn't have to think much about that because he would do anything to get out of this godforsaken town with nothing but bad memories.
My intelligence is measured by experience, you see; I go up, and when you start at the top… you just kinda… stay there.
A/n: KLAINE SEQUENCES ARE NOT UP, BLAINE IS NOT A NEW ANGEL, AND KURTBASTIAN WILL NOT BE CANON NEXT CHAP. But it is a step to the land of success.
Kurt and Seb will establish where they stand next chapter because they have kinda been everywhere as of late and I need that to settle.
Blaine isn't in next chapter btw (yayyyyy)
I need to sleep.
Adios-RadHader