WAKE UP.

"I'm not going to hurt you…"

"You scared?"

"You're pathetic."

"Good boy."

"So stop disappointing me."

"Blaine told me to look after you."

"Yeah ok."

"You're a whore, and that's all you'll ever be."

"What the hell happened to you?"

"What's wrong?"- "Nothing." -"You're lying."

"Could you be a little less useless?"

"I have been here for 3 minutes Kurt, which is 2 minutes and 59 seconds too much."

"Romeo and Juliet is an age old story about unaccepted love between 2 unfortunate people in unfortunate circumstances."

"You left! And fate has all this lined up to go some way, you were supposed to leave me , but it doesn't make it hurt any less!"

So what do you? You just keep swimming.

"You'll figure it out. I don't know when, I don't know what you will have to go through to get there but I promise you, that you will be fine"

There is this thing about mistakes; you cannot run from them. Once you make them, they can't leave you, and you can't leave them.

"Let me make something very clear to you Kurt, I own you."

"Those same books misspell words and are biased, I'm not depressed."

"I'm not going to pretend to like you, because I don't."

"Then I hit him a second time and he came running back again, I didn't even have to apologize that time."

"Love is for children,"

"Kurt, we're toxic."

"I think that's bullshit."

"That's a complicated question."

"I'm moving back to France…"

"Seb I can't promise I'll get better, I can't even promise I'll try, but it didn't matter when you were here, because I wasn't with just `anybody, I was with you."

"You're submissive Kurt, you'll always come back."

"I love you Kurt,"

"I love you too."

I laughed a bit remembering these last few months, how they had slipped by so fast with no hint of stability. I mean Sebastian was right, I needed to want to be better for myself, but Blaine was right too; I was submissive, and I would always come back.

You want to know what hurts? Well, really everything, but what really hurts is the fact that I don't see myself caring about any of these things. I don't see a future for myself, I missed sending in my NYADA forms, I missed sectionals, I hadn't been to school for a whole 2 days a week in a month, and to make matters worse, I just did not care about any of that.

I didn't know whether Blaine and I would make it, I didn't know if Sebastian was going to come back, but I honestly just felt so empty as of late. Like no matter what happened to me, my future was death, I kind of just moseyed on down the rest of my life.

Sure I wanted to be on Broadway, or a world famous fashion designer, but let's be real. Those dreams faded behind everything else life had to throw at me. Sometimes I wish I would have made more of my existence. Never come out the closet, work my body to the point of every muscle being enlarged, join a sports team and get those jerseys I have always wanted, lower my voice so I didn't sound so damn girly; but I reckon I would be just as unhappy then as I was now.

You ever wonder how you could be so unlucky, but you're surroundings have so much focus, so much drive.

Like Rachel, who we all know will make it to a stage if it kills her. Or Quinn, the smartest and prettiest girl to walk McKinley, Or Blaine, pretty much promised a singing career. Mike, a dancer, Mercedes, sold out concerts worldwide, Brittany and Santana, well paid cheerleaders for the world's best football team. Then there's me; I couldn't even dress well these days, not to mention attempt really singing. I was down-right hopeless, and what can you make of something that was nothing.

So that's why I am here, in the middle of a field near some old cabin that was abandoned a long time ago, nothing but me and my voice, and endless possibilities to come from that combination.

I began lightly humming and blowing cold air from my mouth producing smoke.

Just waking up in the morning

And to be well,

Quite honest with ya,

I ain't really sleep well

Ya ever feel like your train of thought's been derailed?

That's when you press on - Lee nails

Half the population's just waitin to see me fail

Yeah right, you're better off trying to freeze hell

Some of us do it for the females

And others do it for the retail

But I do it for the kids, life threw the towel in on

Every time you fall it's only making your chin strong

And I'll be in your corner like Mick, baby, 'til the end

Or when you hear a song from that big lady

"You have to want it too,"

Until the referee rings the bell

Until both your eyes start to swell

Until the crowd goes home

What we gonna do ya'll?

"And that's all you'll ever be…"

"SHUT UP!" I scream, rocking back and forth and singing louder.

Give em hell, turn their heads

Gonna live life 'til we're dead.

Give me scars, give me pain

Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me

There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter

Here comes the fighter

That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,

This one's a fighter

Because I'm not fucking worthless,

And if I can last thirty rounds

There's no reason you should ever have your head down

Six foot five, two hundred and twenty pounds

Hailing from rock bottom, loserville, nothing town

Text book version of a kid going nowhere fast

And now I'm yelling, "Kiss my ass"

It's gonna take a couple right hooks, a few left jabs

For you to recognize you really ain't got it bad

I'm extraordinary,

Until the referee rings the bell

Until both your eyes start to swell

Until the crowd goes home

What we gonna do ya'll?

Give em hell, turn their heads

Gonna live life 'til we're dead.

Give me scars, give me pain

Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me

There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter

Here comes the fighter

That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,

This one's a fighter

I'm not hopeless,

What we gonna do ya'll

What we gonna do ya'll

If you fall pick yourself up off the floor

And when your bones can't take no more

Just remember what you're here for

Cuz I know Imma damn sure

I'm a fighter.

Give em hell, turn their heads

Gonna live life 'til we're dead.

Give me scars, give me pain

Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me

There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter

Here comes the fighter

That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,

This one's a fighter

'Til the referee rings the bell

'Til both ya eyes start to swell

'Til the crowd goes home,

What we gonna do kid?

I'm crying, really hard, like I can't see past my tears and my knees are throbbing from hugging them so damn hard. But I wasn't crying for Blaine, or for Sebastian, or for glee, or anything else; I was crying for myself. Because I deserved happiness, I deserved to feel special, and I deserved to be able to feel all of that without another person acting on it.

If I'm dirt broke trying to be a fashion designer, or if I get turned down by every show I audition for, it shouldn't fucking matter, because when I fall all I have to do is get right back up.

So I stomped to my car with nothing but pure anger on my face and hurt, but under that was a sheer smile, a sheer smile that said you're a fighter; now fight.

I knocked heavily on Blaine's door, not feeling the need to be patient and finding a very upset and disturbed Blaine in front of me. "Where the hell did you go last night?"

I shoved a box into his hands and targeted my eyes to level with his. "Here's your shit." I spat, and not bothering to say anything more. I back up away quickly turning so I couldn't see his face.

"Have you lost your mind?" He asked completely stuck and I responded still walking up right to my car.

"I actually think I found it…" I smiled and got into my navigator, there was only one place I needed to be, and my car simply was not driving me fast enough.

I had not bothered to ask Sebastian what flight he was taking, but I knew he would be on one late. I knew he wanted me to come and stop him from getting on the plane, and more importantly, he wanted to make sure that I would.

"Excuse me," I took the attention of the lady at the window. "When is the next flight to Paris?"

"9 o'clock is the only one departing today, however we do have more co-"

"Thank you!" I screamed and dashed off before letting her finish, it was 8:42 when I got out the car and if I was going to make it, I was definitely not going to stay and converse with her.

The sight walking in was quite the confidence knocker. I couldn't see anything pass the crowds of people, IT'S A FUCKING TUESDAY, what are you guys doing here? Then again, I wouldn't wait for an opportunity to leave this god forsaken place either so let me get back to focus on finding Sebastian.

I locked up at the screen showing me where each plane left. Paris… Nine o'clock… North wing… Gate 12. And of course I had to be in the west wing, because life and I have a bit of a bittersweet relationship. I didn't even know I was capable of running as fast I could, all I know is I was running. Why was our airport this big anyway? Who left Lima, Ohio? I honestly didn't even know where I was running; I just hoped that a Gate 12 would eventually pop up at one point.

"Kurt?" I heard someone call and I stopped instantly in my tracks realizing the voice. I turned my head hoping to land eyes on the person calling me before feeling hands grab roughly on my lower back. "Kurt calm down." He chuckled.

I turned and finally relaxed seeing Sebastian in front of me. And I just started talking non-stop, just hoping I could fix this before 9 o'clock. "Sebastian, you were right okay, I mean you're kind of right about everything which also somewhat makes you an asshole but it's just like I don't even care that you're an asshole and I usually do. What I am saying is that I really want to get better now, and not for you of for Blaine, I want to get better for me. And I feel like the second you leave, this high or whatever I am on right now is going to die out and I will go right back to Blaine which I really don't want to do because I may or may not have permanently broken up with him and that would just be embarrassing. Not to mention I feel like a whole new person when I am with you, like anything is possible and anything is reachable, and I know I am a pain in the ass but I will work really hard to not be, and fix everything that is wrong and go to school, like a college, like NYADA or make my own fashion line, I can even name it after you! And I want you to go I really do, if this place makes you uncomfortable or feel bad then who am I to make you stay, but I need you to promise me and really mean it that you'll come back and everything will be fine, because I just need to know that som-"

And then his lips were on mine and I didn't give two shits about what I was saying anymore because god did this feel good.

He pulled away and chuckled which cause my face to drop in astonishment. "Kurt you talk a lot." He rolled his eyes.

"I do not!" I hit him playfully on the arm before laughing myself.

"Come with me..."

"Where?" I smiled.

"To Paris you idiot." He smiled.

"Your plane leaves in like 10 minutes and I don't even have clothes or a ticket…"

He smiled and kissed me again, just a peck but it still lingered and felt like more than any of Blaine and I's.

"I may or may not have bought 2 tickets just in case you came for me."

"Clothes, money, a house, did you forget I need all those things?"

"Dude I'm a millionaire, I can by you all new clothes, and a house, and money, just come with me…"

I was quiet for some time. What was the better decision? Stay with Blaine, or move to Paris, you would think that would be an easy call, but look at all I was leaving behind. "Okay."

No words were said after that, I just wrapped my fingers around his and ignored the stares we got on the way to the plane, a new me.

Dear dad,

I have tried to write this letter 9 times now, and I am deciding to just keep whatever is made of this one. First I want to start by saying I am sorry for not telling you what was going on with me.

Long story short I was starving myself, and selling myself. I am choosing to leave out any detail as to why, but know that I had one.

I am in Paris with Sebastian my old friend from when i was a kid. Also dad, I was raped when I was 11. I should have told you but it would have been pointless since I can't remember the faces of the people who did it.

I'll be safe, and don't run up your heart by worrying. I am fine now, in fact better than I have been in a long while.

And dad, most of all I just want to say thank you… remember when you said I would get through this, well I did, and I couldn't have done any of that had it not been for you.

Love,

Kurt.

A/N: How would you feel if I told you there were only 2-3 more chapters left! I know it's been quite the ride hasn't it (Well not really) the ending will be quite surprising though, but I promise a very happy Kurt next week. (Well for the most part)

I started a Klaine story names sector 7 and I suggest you take 10 minutes out of your day to read the first chapter.

Review and follow and all, and I will hopefully see you all soon!

Adios-RadHadder